Own your stuff
Self Love doesn't require a crowd or a partner, a plan or a purpose. Some of the best loving is just being with you Iyanla Vanzant
Here's the thing I learnt today people and it was a tough lesson - Own your stuff!
What does that mean? It means to accepting responsibility, accepting the part that you play in the experiences that you have in your life. Now, don't get me wrong, this does not by any means mean tolerating bad behaviour. It means you owning up to the fact that you played a part in either the attraction or the response to it. It means to honor yourself and act like you know.
When I was in East Africa in April, the women said to me, there are no victims here, to be a victim means that you are powerless and being powerless would suggest to yourself that you cannot move out of the situation that you are in with faith and self belief. How awesome is that for people who have been through civil wars to tell me that? total penny dropped moment.
Self awareness is your responsibility, it's a tough pill to swallow to know that you attract to you those experiences that are happening in your life but I have also learned that all things are lessons that God will have you learn! So own your stuff, stop acting like you do not know and trust yourself. When I was married, I knew that I was tolerating the bad behaviour, I knew it was time to either say something and walk, but I didn't. I was blaming and projecting and I was acting like I didn't know but we have all heard that when you know better, you do better. I
I love the whole concept of self honour because I have learnt that when you honor yourself every single thing you do comes from that place. Its a journey to get there. Simple things like when you say ok I will start exercising and you don't! You are breaking the committments to yourself and if you don't honour yourself who's going to honour you? If you betray yourself what makes the people who do that any different? I told you, its a tough lesson!!! But it's my lesson and if it resonates with you great! If not, great also take what does and leave all the rest.
So what did I learn today?Something that we often forget is that we all play a role in the creation of the pain we experience, even if someone else is involved. We don't recognize that we volunteer for that pain. We show up for it. We tolerate it. Once we acknowledge our own contribution, the healing can begin
One of the ways that people avoid taking responsibility for their role in their own pain is what is called—blame and projection. Blame is straightforward: Somebody hurts us, and we say things like, "They did this to me. Look what they did!" Projection is slightly different and happens when we blame other people for our problems, even if they didn't do anything to us (in other words, we just don't want to look at what we did).
As long as we're blaming and projecting, we don't become accountable to ourselves for how we accommodate, excuse and tolerate behavior that causes pain—whether it's our own behavior or someone else's.
Own your stuff, it's an act of courage. It is the courageous act of doing what you know before you are forced to do it!