Everything is in perfect order
"From your limited point a view the comings and goings of Life can seem chaotic, confusing and unfair. But if the ant could see the street from the bird's eye view she would see the order of things. Think of your Heart and your Intuition as guidance from above and you'll begin to see how everything is in perfect order."
- Jackson Kiddard, author
I was talking to one of my angels, a good friend of mine. In my mind, I truly believe there are angels surrounding me on this journey! Anyways, I was telling her that I want to move back home to Trinidad, she says well move back then, what's stopping you? Right there and then I knew it was fear! She asked me if Trinidad was my Kryptonite! Got me thinking, when fear rears its head what is my response? I think of myself as a courageous person in every other aspect, like dealing with the army in Gulu, on the border of South Sudan. Normal, normal I will handle that situation and with a smile! So my friend says "it's just called life". when she said it I thought hmm pay attention, you never know where a lesson will come from!
So all of this to say that I have these standards that I have set for myself and sometimes things happen to show me that I am human! The standards are there as a guide, stay open, be flexible/ I read somewhere that one should honour their emotions, I interpret it as learn from them, don't make them wrong, don't make myself wrong for learning a lesson, for not getting it right, for mistakes and fear!
That one little conversation brought all this up!
So I have learnt that it's not about proving myself right! I really have nothing to prove to anyone. It's about being loving, accepting and human! It's about learning the lessons!