Changes and People
“People change all the time and forget to tell each other.” Lillian Gershwin
Yesterday the penny dropped! I have been having a conversation with a friend for the past few months. And when I think about it is was the same conversation, just in different ways! After each conversation I would be thinking to myself, hmm I just don’t get it; I don’t understand that logic whatsoever, I mean how can they not see my view? It is in their best interest to do what I say! Then it hit me, whadappp!!!
Why focus on trying to make someone to be different? According to Danielle LaPorte “If you take the desire for someone to be different out of the equation – you can meet them where they are” and that is so true, you can meet them in the real moment. You can meet them in their despair or their magnificence.
And when you truly meet them, with no wishing for something different to wedge you apart, you’ll know what to do. You will have the compassion to be calming, the humility to be reverent, or the wisdom to walk away. Not how would you help (or coerce, or plead with) someone be more healed, or less angry, or more down to earth. I was determined and focused on making them see a different story, a different way, a different me, I was not focusing on the now! I now realise that they are where they are. Consider the facts; spare yourself the desire for change. Remove the friction of wanting to improve them. And engage. It’s the only way change happens.
So what did I learn today?
People are where they are – despite our desire for them to be further along, more evolved, more fun, closer to our level, less intimidating, more relatable, easier to access, or simply more like us! Be in the moment, accept and then make a choice