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Wednesday, 4 March 2015

We make unhealthy compromises because....

Be daring, be different, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers..." — Cecil Beaton, photographer



There are two kinds of compromise: the kind that heals you by expanding you -- it's the healthy kind that stems from real love and grace. And because it usually brings some delight with it, then doesn't feel much like a compromise after all. And then there's the kind of compromise that bruises your soul -- the not-so-healthy kind that is driven by varying degrees of desperation and fear.
 We make unhealthy compromises for three reasons:
1. Fear that we won't get what we really want.
2. Fear that we won't get what we really want.
3. Fear that we won't get what we really want.
Fear that we don't get what we really want keeps us stuck! I wake up every day and give thanks in advance for slaying the fear, for feeling the fear and doing it anyway! And I give thanks in advance because I know fear will come up and in my mind giving thanks in advance is a declaration that  I will indeed find a way to do what it is I am supposed to do despite me feeling like wetting my pants, or feeling silly or losing a friend or pissing off my family, whatever it is! I know that the fear is not real and facing it will only make me like myself even more.
I'm getting better at it! Asking for what I want and feeling the fear and doing it anyway! Practice makes masters.
I talk to myself into doing it, whatever "it" is and then when it's done sometimes all hell breaks loose ( most times in my mind) and I expect the unexpected and handle it! Whatever happens its all good because I either learn from it or I am happy! 
Today for example at the boxing gym, they sent me to warm up with the biggest heaviest boxer in the gym, the guy is a machine. Come on he says, let's go! I was walking slowly behind him like I was about to go to an electric chair, he rubbed his hands together "You will like this!) Fear was gripping me by the throat! So do I compromise? Na! I was all in, fear and all
I must admit although tough it was the best warm up I have had since starting boxing! Who knew????
There are other things I have done in the grips of fear as well, some worked out how I wanted to and some didn't but I did it and have no regrets and will learn from it for the future! Most times the fear comes up with "people stuff". Relationships, whatever kind, are our biggest teachers! 
I intend to keep practicing because life is a splendid ride and there is no formula, no right and wrong way. Why fear a feeling? It will pass, trust me, this too will pass!
Peace!



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