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Showing posts from October, 2016

My most famous screw ups

When the truth you have been denying bubbles to the surface it brings with it tears and freedom Iyanla

So I was asked two very interesting questions

1. What are you  most famous screw ups?

2. What did you learn from it?


Of course I had to think about it for a hot minute. Who wants to admit their mistakes? especially the famous ones?


So after the hot minute passed, this was my response

My famous screw ups

1. Not following my intuition - my gut told me not to take the job,  There was a weird feeling I could not describe every-time I was asked to join the company or went to a meeting to discuss terms and whether I would join, but I didn't listen to my gut, I rationalized that the extra money and so called status would be a good move - within a few months I was fired.

2. Playing victim - I knew he left, he was not playing the mortgage on the house we bought together - I played helpless and made no huge effort to get another job. I wanted him to see that he was making a mistake - I pai…

Thank you Hal

There’s an ‘interactive-mind’ and a ‘universal-mind’. The ‘interactive-mind’ -- accessed through your head-brain -- is the collection of memories and opinions . . . the known territories of the old all jumbled together. With this mind running your life, there’s zero inspiration from achieving anything new. This mind fills time with attractive distractions; being busy protecting territories, but never exploring the unknown Yogi Singh

Someone I admired a great deal died last night, I spoke to him the morning, we had a lovely conversation and decided to meet next week. The conversation ended with me saying I will call you back either later today or on Monday to confirm the time to meet
Then he died

When I got the news I thought about how I did not call him back yesterday. How many times have I said I would do something and didn't
I thought about his work in rebuilding communities and how much he loved his country
I said I will not let his work be in vain, I cannot- how many people give th…

Remain open

Facing the ache of ending doesn't compare to the inauthenticity of continuation
 Danielle La Porte

Endings are usually challenging, particularly when you are comfortable, and as they say, know the devil that you have rather the one that you don't. Human beings avoid pain and change. It's just the way we have evolved. Yesterday as I was listening to the speakers at TEDX Women, one thing was abundantly clear. In birthing something new there is some discomfort, there may be some paid but when we stop resisting it it brings us a message and in the end it brings us new beginnings I am not at the point of having to make decisions about endings, the what if's are rearing their heads, so this was a timely reminder to not resist, to remain open, to know that birthing and creating involve some pain and discomfort What are you avoiding ending because of the fear of pain and discomfort? Peace

What are you hoarding- just in case?

Living in an abundant environment but operating on the assumption that good things are scarce leads to a host of dysfunctions that can be summed up in one word: excess. Most of us are living in some kind of excess; we work too much, eat too much, rack up debt buying too much stuff. Yet, driven by the unconscious, just-in-case assumption that "everything good is scarce," we just keep doing and accumulating more. Martha Beck

I was at a book reading Q and A session and a gentleman in the audience asked me "why don't they teach authenticity and abundance consciousness in our schools?" The question threw me off because it really came out of left field, here we were at a book reading session and this wonderfully thought provoking question about teaching our young ones about being true and content from an early age came up! I thought about it for a minute I really don't know why it is not taught in schools, maybe because no one believes that it is important enough …

The difference between numbness and emptiness

Numbness is the result of being overloaded—too much pain, too much information, too much medication. Emptiness is very different. Much of our personal and global (same thing) problems are a result of trying to stuff our emptiness—with food, power, noise, gadgets. We cram our lives with people—virtual, in-person, strangers on screens, so we don’t have to be alone. We’re raised to fill the void. Like little robots. Fill void, fill void But what if we rocked our emptiness? Felt the perimeter of ourselves. Relished the silence. Made friends with the peace that’s always waiting for us. What if we got off on the discomfort of our emptiness and let it be creative tension? Maybe we’re just one mental reframe away from turning our universal emptiness into personal power. "Because, you’re not empty. You’re full of space Danielle La Porte

The time is coming soon that I will be heading back to Kenya and Uganda, in 2 weeks I will be on a plane heading to a place where I call my spiritual home. T…

Reality is right here

There is no need to be restless or anxious, concerned about whether I will make it or when I will make it. I will. That is all I need to know. It is accomplished already, and I can travel this illusory journey in peace knowing that in reality it is already over.ACIM
I remember exactly when I stopped being anxious and restless. For months and months I had a pain on the side of my neck, it would not go away, nothing I did made it stop. I was obsessed with making it, I was preoccupied with what was coming next, what I had to do, all the mistakes that I made, all the debts I had to repay, the bad decisions I believed I made A woman told me " Madam Akosua you are here, be here" I did not fully grasp it then. One evening in Kampala I started to meditate, it was my first time to go within and I literally wept. The tears just kept flowing, it was tears of joy,  because while I was in the state of silence, I just felt so grateful to be in the moment, right there. It was such an overwhel…

How is your Sense of Self?

Ask yourself: “What am I doing right now in order to avoid the pain or situation?” Are you on Facebook? Playing video games? Smoking again? Eating your 12th cookie in an hour?“By behaving this way, what am I avoiding?” When you find the answer, face it. Marianne Selenee

When you have an intact, healthy sense of worth you value other people. You realize that people are different. You understand that people see things and interpret things in different ways. You do not compare yourself to them, nor do you feel the need to compete with them. You know who you are, which means you can accept others as they are. When you do not have a healthy or intact sense of worth, you feel the need to win every argument.You feel the need to always prove your point. You are threatened by differences. You need agreement with your views, values in order to feel supported and acknowledged When you are not sure who you are is good enough, you will do your darnest to prove that you are better than someone else. Sinc…

Holding on to......

Movements are manifested by disciplined individuals who answer personal callings. And then we move together. Natalie Stewart  

Have you ever noticed that when you decide and proceed with out a shred of a doubt things start coming together nicely, in addition to that, some people start coming in and leaving your life. Therein starts the conflict, some of these people may be near and dear to you, they may be spouses, family, life long friends. It confuses the hell out of you, many times in fear we try to hold on for dear life. When the holding on starts the forward movements slow down. 
Holding on to things that no longer serves us slows down the movement.
Holding on to things that no longer serves us many times dishonor us
Holding on to things that no longer serves us dishonor others
Holding on to things that no longer serves us promotes doubt
Holding on to things that no longer serves us says that we are in fear of the unknown, fear of success, fear of failure, just plain ole' fear
and, …

Your mind is a powerful tool

The biggest challenge in abundance is not how you bring the stuff out there to you but shifting how you think about yourself - Deborah L Johnson

Abundance is a mind set. It is a way of life, This is one of the  lessons that is taking me a while to grasp. I associate abundance with money mainly and that shift in mind is taking a long time to sink in Abundance is not only about having money, it is about knowing that there is enough, enough time, enough resources, enough resilience , that you are enough, who you are is enough. Abundance is knowing that you start from enough and then move on. It is knowing and believing that you are and will always be taken care of, maybe not in the way you envision it or think you should be.
Abundance suggests that anything that is missing on the outside is because something is missing on the inside- that we are either not giving, not willing to give, and don't know that it is missing.
Abundance is about expansion, it is about capacity - our unlimite…

Tobago Love

Mind is the cause of everything - ACIM

Tobago was lovely on so many levels
I believed that I would be running solo at these events. Not that doing that was a problem, it is always nice to share lessons and experiences and support is an absolutely wonderful thing.
I was not even sure how I was getting to the airport- taking a taxi here is not the most sraightforward of exercises and just on point, a friend who I haven't really seen in ages called and I asked her to take me to the airport, as I was sitting there sending a text to another friend, she was expressing that if she had the time off she would come with me, I told her next time for sure press sent on the text looked up and there she was! Surprise!!!
What an awesome way to start the tour!!!

I first had to meet the secondary school students - they were fantastic, I had loads of fun with them
the adults came after - an intense session - the thing went on and I missed my flight. The person who took us to the airport got us on t…

Handle Your stories

Lessons. Tests. New lessons. That’s divine order - Iyanla
The new lessons when they come, and trust me they will come- after all, Iyanla says that this is Divine order, you can welcome them differently. You don't have to always run from them, curse them out, ignore them or respond to them from a place of fear (hate, judgement etcc) You also don't have to live in the fantasy that there is no ebb and flow of life. You can now appreciate the Law of Polarity.
Going through the tests with an open mind and willing spirit allows for the response of new lessons to be an empowering one. And mind you, all lessons are not "bad" 
I remind myself all the time of the divine order when I am getting frustrated and decide - let me just "handle my stories" rather than postpone or pause or run or hide. According to Danielle La Porte  You will not only have more character to pull out at parties and wisdom to offer the world, but you will feel more joy than you think is possible righ…

Morning Rituals

Let me wake up today and do something of value and do it well Marianne Willamson

Do you have any rituals when you rise each day? Coming out of University and in my "previous life" working in the corporate world in London, I would wake up just in time to take a shower and catch the train. I had it down to a science. I didn't realize it at the time - started my day rushed, it continued that way and I subconsciously felt that I was playing catch up all day.

I changed my morning rituals a few years ago, if I am not taking a morning run , I wake up, spend some quiet time, maybe like ten minutes meditating or reflecting and then I read something positive and write in my journal anything that I am grateful for then say a prayer, a very simple one by Marianne Williamson - Dear God- I give this day to you, use me to do your work Amen I do this daily wherever I am in the world. It is a non negotiable.

On days that I run on mornings I do the ritual when I return from the run. I wak…

Tobago Calling

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The world will perform its magic when you step into yours. That is the promise of God, and it will be kept. Neale Donald Walsh

I have had a fascination with the island of Tobago for as long as I remember. I think it may be because it was one of the first places that I went as a child on a plane and with my father alone. We went together, that is much as I remember about the trip, that we went without my mother and I had to step on a plane. Heaven!
I at one time wanted to buy a property out there but it did not work out. My idea was to retire there and spend time watching the tide roll in
And here I am, heading to the magical isle again to read from my book! Who knew?!  I am looking forward to sharing lessons on the journey in beautiful Tobago and maybe fit in eating the food, seeing the beach and liming with the people Thank you to all who made it happen - my mighty crew Peace

Give it time.

It can happen that sometimes we dislike a situation and we’re so quick to claw our way out that we inadvertently end up not ever dealing with our discomfort. No job, no relationship, no city, etc., is perfect. As Geneen Roth says, “Never underestimate your inclination to bolt.” The things you’re trying to change up and run from, particularly if you’re always changing up relationships, jobs, living situations, and more, indicates something you’re uncomfortable just being with, give it six months, then walk if nothing has truly changed.Marianne Selenee
I convinced myself that it was time to leave here, this island. That I gave myself enough time to "get it together" but it still seems as though things are moving along like molasses. I thought, hmm how much time does one need to get it together. And I remembered a lesson - When we know  the outcome is sure, we are happy to wait.  I will wait- waiting means trusting the process and being present when things appear to be off, look…

Leaving the fixings to later

We have already said that wishful thinking is how the ego deals with what it wants, to make it so. ACIM
I applied for a loan for a car which I was given a few exemptions on. I have been waiting for the response since April about the car. Today the bank called me and said they are unable to provide me with a loan for the car, my credit report is screwed since I defaulted on my mortgage during my divorce. I feel rejected and sad. I was 100% certain that I would have been driving my car next week out of the parking lot. I called the car dealer to explain the situation. He was very supportive. So automatically I ask myself, what is the lesson? I haven't figured it out yet but what I do know for sure is that my trust is being put in the forefront. My faith in a positive outcome as well! Usually I would go into "fix it" mode  already, looking at how to fix it today I will feel the feelings and leave the fixings to later Peace

Full Commitment Only .

The chances are that it’s not the guru, the program, or the message that’s amiss. It’s your commitment to it. If you’re fully committed, you’ll get something out of it, no matter what. Buck the trend of bailing on something, and instead see it all the way through with a fervor. Tell everyone what you’re up to; ask them to join in. When you’re done, ask yourself if this time, something’s different. Kate Courageous

I want to finish everything that I start, sometimes to my detriment because I can take the thing a little bit too far. I learnt very early that sticking to the end was the best way to reap the best rewards and also to earn self trust and self belief. In learning this, I also know it is easy to create reasons, rationales, justification and excuses as to why there is no commitment to finish something.  Most times it is fear. What would happen if. What if? The curse of asking the dis-empowering what if questions  There are also empowering what if questions as well. Why not ask the…

Learn from them do not deny them

Negative emotions are a necessary part of life and they should be managed and learned from, not avoided or denied. Mark Hanson I run from feeling sad, I do, I run from it like Usain Bolt on a running track. Any feeling that lowers my vibration I don't want to be around it, I avoid it, hoping that it will pass and I will just go back to my normal old happy self. What used to happen is, I would skip over it, bottle it and ignore it. It would come back again like a Mac Truck and hit me - HARD. I would start the run again as soon as it returned and so the cycle went. Never stopping once to deal with it.  The challenge with that is when shit hits fan, it splatters!! What I have learnt is to Feel. Deal.Heal is the formula Feel the feelings, feel it all - they are guides, they point you in a direction that will lead you to a healing Life is about balance and seasons, it's not personal, it's just life Every experience is a guide to your highest self I thought that being sad or mad or tir…

Become it

Every victim has a victim story - Micheal Beckwith


Over the past few weeks I have been asking the Universe some questions. I was pissed off, why is it not happening sooner, why? How is it that I am in this position? What is it that is happening here

And what I have learnt has been startling, not too mention empowering
Ask the Universe dis empowering questions and guess what happens? it answers you accordingly
The worse ever question you can ask the Universe is "Why Me?"
Dis empowering questions include: "What went wrong?"; "What did I do wrong?" " Why is this problem beating me?"

The challenge remains - asking empowering questions and most importantly, being willing to hear the answer, surrender and be open.
Empowering questions include What is trying to unfold? What is trying to emerge? How can I be my highest self?

It is an ongoing process, it is a discipline, an act of faith. It is not a quick fix
Vibrating on a higher level takes time and di…

After the Talk

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Patience is not waiting, patience is knowing . . . knowing this future view of the ultimate outcome [will] come . . . and spending the time for it to arrive. Guru Singh

The TED talk is over!
I walked on that stage as nervous as hell but as soon as I opened my mouth I knew that this is exactly where I was supposed to be, it was what I wanted to do, what I had to do!

The preparation took a village and I will forever be grateful to the village who raised this child.

The speakers were all awesome, so much passion and amazing ideas were shared, so many new friendships were made.

I learnt about listening, not taking things personally, that there is power in my story and we all want to feel like we are making a valid and important contribution to this thing called life

I am dripping with gratitude for the lessons

Look out for the TedX Port of Spain Reality Revisited Contribution on the website coming soon
Check out the pics
on the TedX Port of Spain Face Book Page
www.tedxportofspain.com

Peace




Love this thing called life

Human life is an experience in magnificence when done with the courage to make mistakes. You are the only creature to consistently learn and grow from mistakes . . . other species often perish from them Sabrina Reber


Love, in every sense of the word, this thing called life Love life Don't just go through the motions Don't live your life "in the meantime" perched between where you are and where you want to get Don't cuss life because it is moving beyond anything that you feel capable of keeping up with Or because uncertainties are too complex for you to understand at the moment you find yourself in. Love life when the way doesn't seem clear,fair or perhaps safe In your love you will get clarity. In your love you will get a sense of safety. Your love will free you from the trepidation that grips your joy. 
Peace

Truth is constant

Change will happen in windfalls followed by fallow periods where it seems like
nothing is happening. Those are the times when you’ve got to practicing sticking with
what you know is actually true, versus reacting to fear. Kate Courageous

Truth does not vacillate, it just is. Truth remains constant. Our response to truth can change and depends on many different variables, this can change but the truth remains as is

The truth gives us the ability to make decisions that can sometimes be discomforting

Facing the truth early helps, it really does. One may not make a decision immediately upon hearing, knowing and revealing the truth - once the knowledge is gained there is no turning back.

What will you do with the truth? If you don't do something it will do something with you

Peace



TEDx Port of Spain - Here I come

I am the women of my dreams; each stage of growth, a woman unapologetically herself has emerged. This becoming myself is a process. Ijeoma Umebinyuo

I am excited, happy, grateful and proud to be speaking at TEDx Port of Spain tomorrow 6th October 2016. It's truly a honor to be able to share my story on the Queen's Hall stage
Reminder to self: get clear.keep it simple.be intentional
Peace

http://tedxportofspain.com/portfolio/akosua-dardaine-edwards/

Be Intentional

I tried to drink it awayI tried to put one in the air
I tried to dance it away
I tried to change it with my hair

I ran my credit card bill up
Thought a new dress make it better
I tried to work it away
But that just made me even sadder

I tried to keep myself busy
I ran around circles
Think I made myself dizzy
I slept it away, I sexed it away
I read it away

Away, away, away, away, away, away
Away, away, away, away, away Cranes in the Sky, Solange Knowles


Today I was chatting with a good friend of mine, she has been having a career challenge. Her solution is to "work it away" and ignore it. To me,  with all my love and no judgement. If it works for you, work it I have learnt that the "away away, away" solution has consequences if we are ready to deal with it then it's all good If it's just to avoid feeling and dealing, well it's a trap, a set up, get ready for bad behavior, from yourself and the people around you because you attract it to you what you internalize - bru…

I am delighted to receive the unexpected

Trust that the unscheduled events  of our lives are a form of spiritual direction - Carolyn Myss

We love control, human beings love to know what is happening and what is next. Everything else seems like we are all over the place, that we are not focused, that we are out of control
Not being in control does not mean that things are out of control
Think of how many times that things that either happened out of the blue or by coincidence and they became defining moments in your life

I have learnt that the Universe is delighted to bring you the unexpected and I have learnt to be delighted to receive it

This week presents me a whole host of unknowns, I am remembering these lessons as I go forward on this journey

This week I am being interviewed by a radio station in the USA and I am doing my first TEDx talk. Many questions remain unanswered

I am delighted to be brought the unexpected
Catch that
Peace

Thank you to my village

You represented in the fashion of the truly gifted Jill Scott
It really does take a village I have been having so much support on this journey to speaking at TEDx Port of Spain, I am so grateful and happy. My friend asked me about doing my makeup My cousin has been giving me tips on clothes Another friend loaned me clothes from her store  Another one is making me a shirt I am dripping with gratitude One listened to my speech and gave me pointer all with love
This is a dream for me Two years ago I wrote down 100 things I want to do before I transition from this life A Ted Talk is on the list ' Listen, dreams do come true Start dreaming. start doing Thank you to my village Peace