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Showing posts from May, 2017

The Need to Be Liked

There are times when, for no apparent reason or for no good reason at all, people decide that you are not likable
They may even profess to hate you!
They will say things about you or to you that will hurt your feelings
Sometimes they will go out of their way just to be mean and nasty to you.
No matter how hard you try to make them like you, they won't!
This does not make them bad people. Oh no!
It simply means that they have their "stuff" going on with them that has nothing to do with you
And that will trigger your stuff! That's right!
The behaviour of the people who don't like you will bring up your abandonment issues. 
Your issues of being rejected
Your issues of not being good enough or not doing things right enough
The minute you discover that somebody you think is important doesn't like you, all your people pleasing stuff will be triggered, and you will be forced to deal with it. 
What a blessing! This is precisely the stuff you need to heal - Until Today


So in my m…

Triggers and Reactions

When we are triggered by a situation each of us must learn to stand in our power, speak our truth from a place of integrity and ground our light. Choose not to react to the person in an unbalanced way Sabrine Reber
I know when I am triggered, I get hot behind the ears, I start getting defensive, I want to prove that I am right, I start smiling, I get snarky and maybe I cut you off. I started paying attention to what triggers me, what triggers a reaction - not a response because a response comes from a different place, from an empowered space, a reaction is off the cuff, it usually comes from a place of fear. I find myself having to apologize for my out of order behaviour when I react rather than respond Knowing what and when I am triggered is a blessing, it means that I am aware and awareness is the first point of either healing or moving forward I am triggered when my intentions are unclear or unloving that is where the trigger-ration starts (I made up that word)
Do you know what are your …

Are You Chasing Illusions?

what was never true is not true now, and never will be ACIM
Don't you love it how we can justify anything we want to, even when we know in our gut that it does not serve us, when we know it is pure BS? We can make up a great rationale, a great story on what we want to believe even when the truth is staring us in our face. Just because we want it to be how we want it to be.  We can take the facts and twist it or leave out some details to make it "true" for ourselves but the truth is the truth whether we want to believe it or not
What's your rationale? " I am not good enough" "He/she is getting a divorce" "I suffer with migraines so I cannot do _____" "I have no time to exercise" "I am too lazy to cook" "It's not the right time" "What is to be will be"
And I can go on and on and on
But what was never true then in not true now so what's it going to be? The truth will definitely set you free
To get it to wher…

I've Come to Learn That......

A lie only has power when someone believes it. You need a congregation to have a church, fighters for an army, voters to get elected. You need buyers for wholesale lies. Lie-spreading requires widespread participation. It’s not only that “they”—the government, or organized religions, or the media, or the educators—are cranking out non-truths. It’s that all of us are paying—by choice—for a variety of deceptions with our money, time, and attention. We need to take individual responsibility for the beliefs that animate our lives. We need to acknowledge the ideals that are driving our choices. Danielle La Porte


I've come to learn that:


1. Broken pieces stuck together can make a beautiful picture

2. My friends are my mirrors

3. Coconut bake, corn meal bake in fact all types are straight from heaven (bake is a type of bread)

4. I am allergic to fakeness

5. Everyone is magnificent but some forget, others never knew and some don't know the true meaning of magnificence

6. No matter who…

Life Goes in Cycles

Life goes in cycles. There is a time to do something, and then there is a time to move on - Louise Hay

When the time comes for us to move on, the Universe will make us so uncomfortable , it will make us wake up, it will give us signs and signals whether we pay attention or not.
Look at nature, there are seasons, there are times for rain, time for sun, time for the poui flowers, time for the sun to shine, and the moon to be full.
Human love sameness and control, especially when there are unhealed wounds or stuff backed up that was not healthily released
so we want sameness, we want to know what time this happens, what time that happens, we want to hold on for dear life, we want the cycle to last forever
Newsflash - it really doesn't work that way
Everything is fleeting
Everything is for a time,
Everything is for a season
Know when it is your time to start, when it is your time to move on, it is your time for a change
It really will be okay in the end
Peace

Publications
www.akosuada…

Love is Freedom

Love is freedom. To look for it by placing yourself in bondage is to separate yourself from it.ACIM

How many times do we place ourselves in bondage in the name of love?
The first time I read that I was in the" bathroom temple" I call it that because many of my life changes and ideas happen either the shower or on the throne, for some reason. I started crying. I literally put the book down and wept. Such a simple but profound line
To look for love by placing yourself in bondage is to separate from it!
I decided right there and then that I had to make some wholesale changes. 
Placing myself in bondage in the name of love was over, no more, caput! I made a conscious decision to ask myself is this freedom or is this bondage
Sometimes I slip, I find myself in situations where I place myself in bondage, then I get still and ask myself the question: Are You placing yourself in bondage in the name of Love?
Placing myself in disrespectful situations
Lying and betraying my own self
Placing mys…

Truth Telling

If you aren’t secure enough in your own truth, then you might need to tear others down. If you aren’t secure enough in your own truth, you might need to go around to all your other friends and sully the image of those you feel threatened by. If you aren’t secure enough in your own truth, you might choose to be silent while the sullying happens. If you aren’t the one doing the active hurting, it might be easy to tell yourself that you aren’t involved. But you are - Life After Tampons


Watch your words, and your actions. They tell a story 
They are also guides as to where you are on the journey
Are you complaining often? Watch that- before it turns into bitterness and resentment
Complaining is praying to the devil according to the late great Bob Marley
Are you whining and blaming?  Watch that - before it turns into giving away your power
We can misuse and abuse our power, our innate power to live and thrive
Be mindful of how you are using it

When I find myself complaining more than usual I know …

Drop Down and Feel

Drop down into your body and feel. Stacey Hererra

My brother Kyle Jones is a boss at breaking down this, I really wanted to share this:

During childhood, anytime verbal, physical, emotional or sexual abuse takes place, feelings are too painful to manage. - Being an adaptive species, you learned ways to not feel emotions and abandon the emotional body. 
This emotional abandonment includes:
• taking focus from your body to your head — leading to thinking rather than feeling
• constant looking for love and approval — because of feeling unloved and unworthy inside 
• getting depressed when experiencing loneliness, heartbreak or helplessness — rather than connecting to your feelings
 • striving to become an overachiever to feel better about pain - Acts of emotional abandonment work genius on the surface; but deep inside you suffer depression, anxiety, shame and aloneness.

 These feelings exist because disconnection with your emotional guidance system. Your emotions are information wanting you to t…

No Love is Wasted

The things that can’t be taken from you: faith, hope, love. And that’s when fear disappears. (Down at Rock Bottom)  no love is wasted.- Glennon Doyle Mellon

Chatting with a friend yesterday, we  have know each other for just over a year. My friend asked me how was I doing today? I responded  that I was raising the vibes and making the best out the good out here on this good  Earth,
my friend thought was a a strange response"Isn't that a strange response for someone who's life is always perfect?"
"Perfect?, where did you get that idea?"
My friend rattled off that I seemed to have in my possession all the things that make life perfect
"Things you say?"
"yes"
"All external and perception my dear"
I heard clothes, car, and other material possessions

Perfection to me is not about the things I own, it really is about how I show up every day in the world, and how I feel about myself so I can pass on all those good feelings and make a positive…

Pain is a Guide

Most people are living an unempowered life. When they get angry they shout. When they feel hurt, they withdraw emotionally. When they don’t want to experience the pain of feeling rejected or not having the world the way they want it to be, they work harder or have sex or take a drink and all of that is a loss of power. You lose power when you are controlled by external circumstances. Gary Zukav
Every time you face the pain, you decrease it's power, every time you leave the cookie (yes the chocolate chip cookie) you give it less power, every time you don't make that call, send that text to the partner who you know you are settling to be with for whatever reason, he/she is married, disrespectful, dishonest, stunting your growth and so on, you gain some more authentic power Authentic power according to Gary Zukav is the alignment of your soul with your personality.  You experience your soul each time you sense yourself as more than a mind and body, your life as meaningful, or you fe…

What Thoughts Do I Dwell In?

What thoughts do I dwell in? I have endless possibilities in which to wander and wonder in life. Caroline Myss

The post below is from Caroline Myss's Wid-Bit series,it touched and resonated with me on a deep level and so I wanted to share it today......

I could spend time in inspirational thoughts, letting myself get swept into the lightness of a psalm, “God’s blessings are everywhere”. I could embrace the deep truth that, “I have everything I need.” I may not have all that I want but how much do I want? 
And why do I want things? I’m not sure I’ve reflected upon that question long and hard.

 I wonder what I would discover about myself. I could wander into the rare air of truth – that life is but a very brief journey. 
Do I invest this precious gift of my life regretting my past or treating each day as a new surprise? 
Anything can happen. I could dwell in faith: I am blessed.
 Many times, I am not sure what that means but how much do I need to have to realize my blessings? 
Maybe I was p…

Acceptance

We all need to challenge things we've previously accepted. It's not always about jumping in, leaning in, doing more, hustling harder. But instead, retreating, stepping back, taking a break can give us the most clarity. Maxie

Have you ever been in a situation where no matter how hard you pushed, tried, worked, marketed, made vision boards, affirm and hustled it wasn't happening in the way you had it all mapped out? That's been me over the last few weeks. I have learnt that when you have done all that, the next step is to surrender Surrender is about believing that it will turn out as it should after all the work has been done, all the prayers have been said and be willing to embrace that what you want may look different to what will happen because acceptance faith self belief
Peace

What Do You Thing You Absolutely Need and Why?

That’s what crisis does. It comes into your life, and you have to watch everything you thought you needed fall away.  Glennon Doyle Mellon



I have a very interesting relationship with the word "need" I have read and listened to a number of views about "need" and at times confuses me because I believe that many of the things that I think I need I really really don't. I want them. And then there is a part of me that thinks about how we as humans are not meant to do this gift of life alone. So here I am in the middle of needs and wants and the feelings associated with them
So this is how I have rationalized it thus far

I ask myself, if I believe that I cannot live without a person or thing that I wasn't born with, then it has gone past a need that is an addiction- take back the responsibility for your life
Always comes down to the simple solution

I thought I needed quite a few things and they all fell away in a tide, here I am still standing, I didn't die- somet…

Cut and Clear

So much of a person’s results in life are determined by his or her perceptions about themselves and the world around them. Unless you have mastered life and all your possibilities, there’s an excellent chance some of your long-held perceptions are wrong Jerry Gilles

Everyday I get a reminder about letting go of perceptions and attachments
Attachments in this case, can be people, places, and ways of doing things that no longer serve the growth, development and peaceful consciousness that I aim to have and the person that I want to be or even the person that I am

I ask myself: Does this serve my life in a positive way? How would my life be different if I let go of this?

And if I remain unconscious my life has a way of showing me that attention is required
Things start happening which once I ignore blows up in my face!

Have a mental inventory

What are some of the things that I am holding on to that I do not use- in my house, in my apartment, in my life, where I live, the people around me…

Options

Where would you have me go?
What would you have me do?
What would you have me say?
And to whom?
–A Course in Miracles
Families and Intimate relationships are the biggest containers for growth. They provide you with the tests and lessons which you are not able to get anywhere else.
Your family, they know you inside out
you want to be supportive and love them hard but they get on your last nerve sometimes right? Especially if they are "not listening" living their lives differently to their "potential" and not trusting you to do what you do best. Most times we want validation , want to feel needed and loved and in your own way!
When does living our own lives and demonstrating by our choices a choice, or accepting and loving them the way they are an option? When is taking responsibility for our own lives and staying in our own lane an option? When is walking away and praying an option? When is acceptance of what is an option? When is pray and faith an option?
When is compassion…

Are You Willing to Try Another Way?

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Human beings are creatures of habit. We do what we know,what is comfortable and what we "think" will work. There are, however, those occasions when "our" way is not "the" way to get us to our goal. When your way doesn't work, don't be disheartened. You must be willing to try another way - Iyanla Vanzant

Ask yourself, is the way I am approaching my goals and dreams working?
Is my life working in the way I envision - am I at peace, do I feel joy, gratitude, content and love?
Or am I filled with anxiety, dread, resentment and confusion?
Is it manifesting itself in your life by the way you eat, or maybe drink, treat people or perhaps don't treat people?

For me it is clear, I go by how I feel because I have long learnt that my feelings are guides.
I ask myself how do I feel about this?
And then I am willing to do something different - took a while because of course, habits, fear, not wanting to be wrong, people pleasing and sometimes pure ole fashi…

Take a Pause

“In today’s rush we all think too much, seek too much, want too much and forget about the joy of just Being.”  Eckhart Tolle

Today take a pause from the rush and recognize in the moment what is in front of you, what is the joy in your present moment
Today, take a pause from the rush and give thanks for the little things and see how it swells your heart
Today, take a pause from the rush and rest your mind, postpone the constant chatter about what you don't have, what you need to do and who is preventing it from happening
Today, take a pause from the rush and know that in that present moment all is well
Today take a pause from the rush and know that you will really be okay in the end.
Today take a pause from the rush to reboot, recharge, and re-cognize that rest is productive

Peace

What Comes After the Thought?

Living in your head prevents you from the full experience of your environment. It keeps you from opening your heart. It gets in the way of you inhabiting the fullness of your relationships. 
Thinking about feeling is not the same as feeling.
Thinking about loving is not the same as loving.
Thinking about doing is not the same as doing.
Thinking about expressing yourself is not the same as self expression. Thinking creates a barrier between you and your experience. 
While thinking is a necessary part of this life. Experiencing IS life itself.  Drop down into your body and feel.
Breathe into every single moment.
Pause to take in the scene.
Relish in play. Delight in laughter. Feel your way through.

 Stacey Herera
I'm thinking about it. How many times have you heard or perhaps said that when asked about when or what are you going to do? Thinking is important and it is indeed the first step to creation most importantly- the first step. and only a step it goes beyond only thinking about it, there is t…

How I determine a Genuine Relationship

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“A genuine relationship is one that is not dominated by the ego with its image-making and self-seeking. In a genuine relationship, there is an outward flow of open, alert attention toward the other person in which there is no wanting whatsoever.” 
― Eckhart Tolle

I have been meeting more and more people as I speak at events. Some of them, for different reasons, find themselves in my circle where we communicate and have common interests. Some of the people that express an interest to come into the circle, I have been resisting, and I started asking myself why - I want to be non judgmental as well as flexible

I check my intention behind everything now because the intention precedes the result
What is my intention?
Do I want something?
Do I want validation?
Do I want to further my cause?
Do I want to be liked?
And so on

What is my intention and what do I feel in my gut?
Once I can answer that honestly, truthfully, without negative denial
then I can move forward feeling free
Lessons....

Pe…

Your Soul Lives True

What you want? Your Soul may have other plans for you Deborah L Johnson
You may have heard me say it before, but I want what I want when I want it I can bet that many of us want what we want when we want it And isn't that what we are taught about "making it" Going after what you want and not taking no for an answer? How does that philosophy tie in to what our Soul wants for us? It may not tie in because your Soul's plans trump all, whether we accept it or not Why? Your Soul has not agenda and wants what's best for you, and it really is that simple We get clues based on how our life is panning out and when we ignore it life continues to give you clues. The job, the relationships, the material things, the friends, the career, you name it the Soul gives you clues, it is up to us to pay attention Peace

Without Feelings You Run From You

Without feeling, life becomes: • a succession of escaping yourself — using the outside world to escape the inside world • falling victim to thoughts and emotions, which are only past memories stuck in brain and nerve cells • chasing concepts of peace, love and happiness rather than going through pain to reach emotional freedom, i.e. emotional freedom is peace, love and happiness – these experiences aren't dependent on protests, relationships or success • getting involved in emotional dependent relationships — using your partner to take responsibility for YOUR feelings - Feeling is the difference between emotional pain and emotional freedom Kyle Jones


I am doing an experiment, I am feeling all my feelings, and why is it an experiment? Because I would usually either run or stifle it, or focus on what the "problem" is and look at how to fix it. Well to be quite honest there has been some discomfort
Small things
Let me give you an example, I went to see a spoken word show on Su…