Forgiveness Works

Romantic/familial/friendly relationships force you to look at your beliefs. They create the perfect environment to grow-up the wounded child within. While inviting you to release the stories that reinjury you time and time again.

But not all relationships foster growth. Sometimes relationships are replicas of unhealthy familiarity, which can be toxic. It's not unusual to attract someone who is complicit in co-creating dysfunction with you. Arguments, belittling, name-calling, and stagnancy. Fighting for nothing and/or everything. Or never disagreeing at all (which is often a red flag). Stacey Herrera

There I am minding my own business living my life, thinking that I am moving ahead, even slowly. I receive an email coming through my website- now ususally when the email comes through the website it is most times a request to speak or appear at an event
So I start reading it, it starts off with " I read your book and it was such an authentic piece of sharing" so of course I continue with a smile on my face, then I see "remember me" now I am quite curious. She then starts to apologize, it starts with "I am sorry" now I am extra curious and goes on to a whole long story about how she is sorry about having an inappropriate relationship with my husband at the time and that she was young and naive and caught up in the intoxification blah blah blah
Well well, where is this coming from?
I started to tremble, I mean "what the whole hell?" just when I believed that I was over this! 
I decided to read the entire email - trust me it was an epistle
She apologized, she explained, she congratulated me and then held out an olive branch to make amends
Wow!
How much guts did that take?
How much thought did that take?
I sat down and had a good talk with myself- feel the feelings, do not run or hide from them
I felt them all
Now what?
Forgive - that is what I heard
Forgive?
Yup- forgive yourself for accepting less than the best and forgive them both
Be grateful - I also heard that
Be grateful?
Yes - give thanks that you are no longer that person
that made me smile
I am no longer the person that accepts less than in the name of keeping the peace, of being liked, of "how it will look" to rock the boat
Let us start from there
As soon as I did that I hit reply
Peace








Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

30 Things I Believe

Image
What is being of service? Looking upon another human being with kindness and compassion and not judgement is a profound act of service and though such a form of service lacks for whistles and bells, this expression of “service” comes from truly understanding the power of your soul and what it means to “look upon another with eyes of grace.” Carolyn Myss 1. I believe in sleep 2. I believe that love can cure it all  3. I believe in feeling my feelings 4. I believe that nature is my best teacher 5. I believe that friends are family minus blood lines 6. I believe that discipline and consistency combined with talent  can and will can create miracles 7. I believe in following my intuition 8. I believe that rest is part of the Journey 9. I believe in that all things are lessons that God will have us learn 10. I believe in choosing the people around you with care 11. I believe that vacations can reboot creativity  12. I believe in joy - doing what brings you joy - and often 13
Read more

What Does Support Look Like to You?

Image
  You save yourself energy when you learn to ask people what they need, instead of assuming you know best then acting on your own impulses. Allowing people to define what support looks like gives you an ability to assess if you have the capacity to show up - Minaa B If someone asks you right now, what does support look like to you, what would be your answer? It takes self reflection , self awareness and more importantly a whole load of authenticity to answer. On the flip side, do you rush to support others without them even asking- there may be times when that is required, however many a time we assume that we know what others want and need. The times when we do assume, after a while a feeling of resentment builds because "how could they be so ungrateful?" or "why are they not seeing their need for my help?" the other classic is "they must need my help to show them because they clearly are not seeing that they need support" We continue to assume what othe
Read more

Sensible Optimism

Image
  Optimism is usually defined as a belief that things will go well. But that's incomplete. Sensible optimism is a belief that the odds are in your favor, and over time things will balance out to a good outcome even if what happens in between is filled with misery. And in fact you  know  it will be filled with misery. You can be optimistic that the long-term growth trajectory is up and to the right, but equally sure that the road between now and then is filled with landmines, and always will be. Those two things are not mutually exclusive." Who told us that all the roads on the Journey of life will be smooth and bump free? And even if you knew or remember who told you, why did you believe it given what you know? What if the blessing, what if the growth, what if the joy is found on the rocky bumpy road? What if? And if it is, we can rest easier that the bumps and rocky roads are designed with us in mind, designed for us to grow, to learn, to live a life that is filled with varie
Read more