Showing posts from March, 2017

Fear Not- Problems are your friends

Change often creates problems in our environment. Fear not! Problems are our friends! Without problems we cannot learn. Without problems we have no idea of the depth of the change that is required of us. Iyanla

 As cliched as it sounds, change is constant, the very nature of life is change. Why are we still fussing and resisting? We like comfort and control and being a winner. Who says comfort and winning will not happen if there is change? 
What about a different approach to it? 
Welcome the change, talk to it, ask it some questions, to reveal itself, resisting it will beat you up
trust me, it's the resistance that throws one off the bus! 
I myself am guilty of the resistance
Just when I think I have it all together, that I have the formula, the thing flips. 
I get frustrated, mad, I cuss and cry but now I have learnt to welcome it, to have a conversation, to pay attention (usually after the hollering!)

Fear not, problems have become my friends, -  Confession - I love them from a far


Change You First

You can be saved simply by changing your mind. Nothing outside you has to change in order for you to be happy. You can simply choose happiness, right now." And our response, typically? "Hell, no! I won't be happy unless s/he changes first."ACIM
I have been practicing something. Changing my state of mind on the spot, just to see this power that I was told that I have been born with.Acknowledging the feeling and then making a decision to change the stateHello................... the thing worksThe key is acceptancethen choice
The clarity is in the midst of the confusionThe love is in the midst of the conflictDo you have the courage to override , to keep moving forwardIf you just keep moving forward, the fear will subside, the doubt will subside don't worry about getting rid of it, you can't get rid of thought, it cannot be undoneBut you don't have to activate it, downloaded it or activate itDeborah L Johnson says - "your doubt and fear does not have to t…

Journey to the South - Last Day

Contrast and differences are necessary teaching aids, for by them you learn what to avoid and what to seek ACIMHello LoviesI was without Internet access for about 4 days, in between travelling and spending time with my friend Kele  I did not focus on getting to a place with the WifiComing to the end of my Journey, I must admit I love the Southern part of Africa, it gives me hope, it demonstrates to me resilience, it also demonstrates promise. Every time I go I am reminded of my responsibility to step up and live my best life, on purpose with purposeThis is my favourite lesson as I part
Do not put your faith or value in nothingnessWhat rests on nothing can never be secure, what is built on nothing will necer lastWhat is your something-ness?What does that mean for you?Thank you SA!Peace 

Day 8 -Journey to the South

There is nothing more validating than belief in yourself and your abilities. If you believe you have the power, the power is yours. There is no credential, certificate or authority beyond the power of a made-up mind. There comes a moment when you must decide that you are going to believe in yourself. When that moment comes, you become aware that outside authority is the icing. Your mind is the cake! Iyanla Vanzant

I spent most of the day in the village with Sole, she lives in a homestead with her family of 4 children, the homestead is three huts in a circle, a bathroom and a common area under a huge mango tree fro shade when they sit and talk. Sole invited me into her hut, it was pretty big with radio, TV, and her craft which she makes to sell in the market. Sole is also a farmer. What struck me immediately is the pride and belief. I asked her who taught her the craft. She looked at me puzzled. No one taught me, I learnt it on my own and I am goo. Said as comfortably as her name. 

Day 6 - Journey to the South

“It is a wholesome and necessary thing for us to turn again to the earth and in the contemplation of her beauties to know the sense of wonder and humility. ” 
― Rachel CarsonThe Sense of Wonder

Flew to Zimbabwe this morning, talk about blowing the perception and stereotype out of the water!
The place is breath taking, pure natural beauty I am staying in a basic lodge, no frills - well Wifi of course and the place is 5 mins away from the Wonder of the World called the Victoria Falls, when I walked into the place I screamed, I probably wasn't this happy in ages, just at peace with nature knowing that all is always well no matter how it looks
The people in Zimbabwe that I have met are so friendly, they are really making me feel at home in this place, really glad that I made the effort to come
I also crossed the border to Zambia as well, 800
meters from the falls and there I was, so I made the symbolic crossing
Dripping with gratitude at being here, I can safely understand why the Vi…

Day 3 - Journey to the South

Every time our unconscious is working something out, it calls into our lives the people who have within the pieces of the answer we are seeking.
Martin Schulman
Here I am 30 hours flying away from my home, minding my own business and heard my name calling as I walked past to get lunch today! Who knows my name? I spin around and it's my friend Kele! OMG Kele I could not believe it, the last time we saw each other was ten years ago as we studied together in Turin Italy. Amazing, so we screamed like babies, she was rushing to meet her baby son who had his birthday, the last time I saw her she had no kids, now she has 3. we exchanged numbers and she promised to come see me today, we met up for a bite to eat and what an amazing human being she has blossomed into, three babies and allThis made my trip, I plan to spend time with Ms Kele while I am here and see the babies too!The unpredictability of life makes it so exciting!Peace

Day 5 - Journey to the South

"Together, hand in hand, with our matches and our necklaces, we shall liberate this country." Winne Mandela
I'm digging Winnie Mandela so much right now, in the month where we celebrate women, I am so very inspired by the strength and persistence, what a warrior! I listened to all the challenges that she went through, how much she persevered. My word! I am totally inspired by it all. What floored me is the standards by which she was judged were harsh but she pressed on Winnie turned down offers to leave South Africa during apartheid to study and live in the USA deciding to stay at home and be of service to her country, she was an activist way before she met her famous husband Nelson Police raids, jail, solitary confinement, you name it! Winnie encountered jail of two weeks whilst pregnant it and is still standing What is my excuse? What is my reason for being lazy? 

Day 4 - Journey to the South

Today I am digging up old hurts and putting them to rest! ~~Iyanla Vanzant,

I spent the day in Soweto, I drove about 30 minutes from the Sandton area which I was told is the wealthiest square mile in Africa to the Soweto Township! The contrast is stark, yet there is a pride in which the people walk around there. I mean, who can blame them, world leaders such as Desmond Tutu, Winnie Mandela and Nelson Mandela lived amongst them, these people changed the world
And that was my takeaway from today, anyone, anyone with the willingness, the courage, the persistence can make a difference, and we are all human, we make mistakes, it's just life
I met Tulan, who startd a programme for youths in his mother's backyard, this is now world famous as well, I have no excuse and it starts with my own responsibility and how I choose to live my own life

Leave out the excuses, lesson number two, it is just a stalling tactic!


Journey to the South Day 2

You cannot force, coerce and demand change. Change is a process that unfolds when the individual mind comes into alignment and cooperation with the flow of life and the universe at large. Change is a journey. Change is not linear; meaning if you do this, that will happen. You can never be sure what will change or how it will change. Change is uncertain. Uncertainty gives rise to fear. Change requires vision and strategic planning. Change requires that we work from the top down (from the mind to the heart) and from the bottom up (from the experience to the cause of the experience) at the same time. Change often creates problems in our environment. Fear not! Problems are our friends! Without problems we cannot learn. Without problems we have no idea of the depth of the change that is required of us. Iyanla

South Africa to me symbolizes change, I visited here in 2000 and here I am 17 years later, the place is almost unrecognizable, the growth is phenomenal and with change and growth comes…

Day 1 - Journey to the South

After a 30 hour journey including a layover in NYC I arrived in Johannesburg South Africa, having been invited to the Global Entrepreneurship Conference week long programme.
We are staying at Sandton which is supposedly the richest square mile on the Continent and I can tell why, the place is a hub of activity, banks, shopping malls, hotels, financial companies. Really impressive, I am very impressed by the friendliness and the willingness of everyone here to assist. I missed the activities today I really don't believe that I will be much use to me or anyone having been on the road since Saturday. Tomorrow I will be up front and center as I learn about how women entrepreneurs are supported in South Africa!

Stay tuned

Simple Ways to Be Bold for Change

you are giving away your power when you please others in order to fit in. Or when you follow the opinions of the crowd. Or when you decide that others matter more than you do. Or when you let someone who seems to have more power take charge of you.

It can often seem right—or proper—to sit modestly in the background, holding accepted opinions, living for your children, or letting a controlling spouse run roughshod over you in order to keep the peace. In small and large ways, however, these kinds of decisions reduce your sense of self-worth, and without self-worth, you cannot rid yourself of your powerlessness. Deepak Chopra

The theme for this year's International Women's Day Celebrations is Be Bold For Change, over the last few days at any of the forums that I have been at the question comes up what does being bold mean to me,
Deepak's quote above really brought it home for me, it is the simple things that we do and then they become habit that makes us feel powerless, Bein…

National TV Scenes

So when you’re feeling grounded, rooted, and strong, really think about to whom you can give your strength. The beautiful thing about it is that giving it away doesn’t deplete you, it reinforces your power, bringing light to yourself and to the person who needs it.
So, figure out who needs your strength today and shine a bit of love their way. You’ll become stronger. Maxi McCoy

I was billed to speak at the International Women's Day Celebration at the Hyatt Regency for ACCA Caribbean - the Chartered Association of Certified Accountants, I was quite nervous, but determined to give it my all and all
The host for the day was one of the top morning show TV hosts in the country and she sat next to me. We did the small talk and she introduced me to the audience, I went up did my thing and came off the stage where she pulled me aside,
"I want you on my show"
"When can you come?"
"Next month"
"Can you come this week?"
"Am, Yes!&q…

What is your story?

Having your own manifesto is very important. Mine involves making sure that my work is authentic and true and honest.  Intention is very, very important. And if you don’t think about that, deeply, it will show in your work eventually. Waarsan 
The International Women's Day conversations were not only enlightening, they were eye opening and sometimes rawWe women just really want to be free to do what we believe is best for ourselves, our sisterhood and our family, add that all up and it equals that we want to do what is best for our world
This is what I took away from all the conversations that I had the privileged to be in but things get in the way, in fact, we LET things get in the wayNumber One thing - FEARFear of1. Being wrong2. Rejection3. Looking dumb4. Losing money5. Losing face6. Being a rabble rouser7. Making others unconfortable8. Uncertainty
And the list goes onNewsflash, shit happensDo youAnd don't apologize for itIt may be a challenge but what isn'tLet's take …

Happy International Women's Day

It is easy to conform, to quietly give in
But for those of us convinced in the greatness that lies within us, those who have chosen paths very uncommon we quiet the noise by fearlessly disrupting what is - Ijeoma

Today around the world International Women's Day is celebrated. I join in to celebrate my sisters, my mothers, my elders, my ancestors
Listen, I don't take the strides for granted- AT ALL
My grandmother - one of my favorite people in the whole wide world told me that she was asked to not go to secondary school - she was offered a place at one of the best schools in the country - to alloow her big brother to go, girls had no business going to school, she told me that she read her brother's books - who did not get a free place- did his homework and shadowed him all through secondary school
My grandmother told me that when she started working in an office she was the only woman, there were no toilets for women and the boss told her use the men's restroom or go to …

I am the matter that matters

I open my heart and mind to be aware...that I am the matter that matters! Matter is anything that has weight and occupies space. The only thing standing between you and exactly what you want is space. The question is, ARE YOU WILLING TO BE THE MATTER THAT OCCUPIES THIS SPACE? You can choose to fill the space with what you need. Or you can choose to fill the space with what you lack, fear or you could fill the space with what might not happen or what cannot happen. Or you could find the courage to fill the space with the holy boldness of "I can because I am; I will, because I am!" In the space that stands between you and exactly what you want, there is the fullness of God. The question is, how do you see the space? Have you placed the matters of others in this space? Do you see your place in the space? Do you see your joy in the space? Do you see God's grace, God's mercy, God's light and God's love in the space? Perhaps you see a risk that you can't take? …

No judgments, no guilt, only full responsibility

Honestly! If you’re failing a couple of times, you are not doing something right. You know, it’s like, what is life but risk? The only way to make great things is to actually take risk. We should all feel more comfortable with failure.” Bozoma Saint John

I've made peace with the fact that there may be some things that I will fail at, the thought of failing no longer sends me into a tail spin of depression and comparison. It's just life, how absolutely freeing! It's freedom I tell you
Me re framing the idea that in giving my all to something with faith and hard work and it turns out differently made ME a failure! Its only feedback saying do something else, do something different, check the lessons and be fully present.
But we want to prove people and maybe ourselves right, we misinterpret perseverance and persistence with proving people wrong and being embarrassed and "shame"
No shame in my game when I pay attention to the signs and to the feedback

The whole perfection…

Learn to see people how they are

People are who they are and do what they do whether you like it or agree with them
We all have different lessons to learn
We each take a different path to our lessons
There are times when someone's path will cross your path and cause you to stumble and fall
That does not make them wrong.
That does not make you right
The only thing a judgement does is distract you from what it is you must do yourself- Until Today

I like to have my own way- My mother used to say to me growing up "Chile you too own way" which meant I always wanted things my way, or I would sulk and be quite unpleasant
Now that I am grown I realized that I am not unique in this regard seems to me that, everyone wants what they want when they want it! The trick is how do we handle the differences
I have learnt that judging other people by saying what they "SHOULD" be doing - it does not work! Who are we to should on people? We don't know the full story! Acceptance is a hell of a thing though!
The othe…

Get it Together

One shot to your heart without breaking your skin
No one has the power to hurt you like your kin
Kept it inside, didn't tell no one else
Didn't even wanna admit it to yourself
And now your chest burns and your back aches
From 15 years of holding the pain
And now you only have yourself to blame
If you continue to live this way

Get it together
You wanna heal your body
You have to heal your heart
Whatsoever you sow you will reap
Get it together
India Arie

What I absolutely love about me taking responsibility for my life is that I get to choose how to move forward, I need not depend on anyone to make that choice. This is not to say that I will not require support and a village, it just says that I don't have to outsource my happiness, and my own choices
You see, outsourcing it allows for blame, and blame takes away accountability and responsibility.
Own it
Live it
Feel it
Be responsible and do the work
Watch how your body heals,watch how your relationships heal, watch how you trust in the process…

How do you use your voice

Truthing isn’t necessarily easier to do, but it brings incredible ease to your life. And the more you do it, the easier it becomes. The courage, the classy delivery, the compassionate humour, it all becomes more accessible when you’re using your voice everyday. Danielle LaPorte

What do you use your voice for? How do you use your voice? Do you see or believe that your voice is of any use at all? Does it even matter?I am always told that I don't talk much (well except when I am on a stage doing ma thang!) I internalized that and sometimes I would remain quiet for fear of pissing people off or perhaps saying the wrong thing and they wouldn't like me, I grew up thinking that, then I was introduced to books by Maya Angelou who did not speak for years, many years, believing that her voice caused the death of a person, when she did realize that the voice is powerful and a gift well the rest as they say is history.
Most of us have the gift, what do we do with it?What do we do with all t…

Ask Yourself if you really mean it

Personal change cannot be accomplished by technology. It requires commitment, persistence, determination and PATIENCE! Inner Visions Institute
Today I want to share an exercise which I did at the beginning of the year. I realized that I had to make some adjustments and it was really up to me to undo since I did it in the first place, it was my responsibilityThis exercise is taken from Louise Hay's absolutely must read book called "You Can Heal Your Life"
"Think of a moment about something in your life you want to change.Go to the mirror and look into your eyes and say out loud - I Have Created This Condition and I am Now Willing to Release The Patters in My Consciousness that is Responsible for This ConditionSay it several times with feelingAsk yourself if you really mean itConvince yourself in the mirror that this time you are ready to step out of the knowledge of the past"One of the great things is that we do not have to know HOWAll we need to do is be WillingT…