The Need for Control
One of the best pieces of advice I ever received was this: “Even when a situation feels out of your control, it doesn’t mean that it is out of control.” For a long time, I didn’t understand that. I equated me being in control with me being safe. Control became my shield, my strategy, my habit. And like all habits—especially the ones that feel familiar—it became comfortable, even when it wasn’t serving me. What I’ve learned is that control is often an illusion. The real challenge isn’t the situation itself; it’s the moment when I am safe but my mind insists that I’m not. That’s when I make decisions that don’t serve me or anyone else. That’s when I react instead of respond. That’s when I try to win, prove, shrink, judge, or force an outcome. So I’ve been learning to find the balance. Lately, I’ve started asking myself a simple set of questions: • Am I safe? • Am I present? • Am I making this decision from the moment I’m in—or from fear, ego, habit, or old stories? With pract...