What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Self‑honesty is not for punks. It is a spiritual discipline, a muscle, a mirror, and a medicine. It is also one of the most essential qualities for living an authentic life. Iyanla Vanzant calls self‑honesty “the sacred courage to witness and tell the truth to oneself without distortion, denial, or shame.” That line has been sitting with me. Because the truth is: I have had many moments where I wanted something to be other than what it was. My friend has a saying: “If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, as much as you want it to be a swan… it is a duck.” And whew, have I tried to convince myself otherwise. I have projected my hopes, my fears, my insecurities, my longing onto situations because I wasn’t ready to be honest with myself. And when I do that, I cannot make decisions that honour me, support me, or enrich my life. Distortion is expensive. Self‑honesty requires compassion, clarity, and courage. Compassion to hold myself gently. Clarity to see what is actually in front ...

One of the most revealing lessons I’ve learned — across intimate relationships, friendships, and even work — is this: you cannot love someone into wanting to grow, change, or show up in the ways you hope they will. Believe me, I tried. I made it a mission, a calling almost. If I just loved harder, showed up more, held space longer, maybe they would meet me where I stood. Maybe they would rise. Maybe they would choose themselves. Maybe they would choose us. But that path is a slow erosion. A quiet draining. A complete waste of time and energy in the end. And not because people are bad or unworthy. Often, they are carrying things you cannot see and cannot fix — emotional weight, mental battles, old wounds, patterns that predate you. Sometimes it’s emotional immaturity. Sometimes it’s fear. Sometimes it’s simply a lack of willingness or readiness. And sometimes, the lesson is yours: letting go, surrender, boundaries, and the release of guilt. What I’ve come to understand is this: When yo...

  One of the best pieces of advice I ever received was this: “Even when a situation feels out of your control, it doesn’t mean that it is out of control.” For a long time, I didn’t understand that. I equated me being in control with me being safe. Control became my shield, my strategy, my habit. And like all habits—especially the ones that feel familiar—it became comfortable, even when it wasn’t serving me. What I’ve learned is that control is often an illusion. The real challenge isn’t the situation itself; it’s the moment when I am safe but my mind insists that I’m not. That’s when I make decisions that don’t serve me or anyone else. That’s when I react instead of respond. That’s when I try to win, prove, shrink, judge, or force an outcome. So I’ve been learning to find the balance. Lately, I’ve started asking myself a simple set of questions: • Am I safe? • Am I present? • Am I making this decision from the moment I’m in—or from fear, ego, habit, or old stories? With pract...

  Affirmation: I choose with clarity. I act with intention. I remember my connection to all things.  Each moment invites me to align my inner world with the world I am helping to create. I’ve been sitting with a question that refuses to stay on the surface: How are we to live today, knowing that we shape the world even as it shapes us? Hiro Boga speaks of us as fractals of the Sacred — whole, interconnected, co‑creators with the Great Mystery. That framing pulls me inward. It reminds me that the world isn’t something “out there” happening to us. It’s something we participate in, moment by moment, through the choices we make and the intentions we carry. These aren’t questions the intellect can answer on its own. They ask for something deeper — a focus on the inner world, a steadying of the heart, a willingness to bring our whole selves to the everyday moments where our lives are actually shaped. They ask us to tend to the habits and routines that scaffold our soul’s purpose, s...

Affirmation: I have what it takes to do hard things, and I move through this world as a child of the Most High — guided, held, and equipped. This morning’s meditation brought a truth back to the surface — one I’ve known, forgotten, and rediscovered many times. It whispered: When we forget ourselves, when we don’t know who we are, our choices reflect that. When we remember that we are Divine, our choices reflect that too. It landed differently today. Maybe because I’ve seen what forgetting looks like. The shrinking. The doubt. The choices made from fear instead of fullness. But remembering — that’s a whole other life. Being Divine isn’t about perfection. It’s knowing I already have what it takes to do hard things. It’s knowing courage lives in me. It’s remembering I am a child of the Most High, created with intention, equipped with strength, and held by grace. When I live from that place, everything shifts. My mistakes don’t define me. My reactions soften. My choices expand. My response...

Affirmation I honour my feelings, trust my boundaries, and welcome every experience as guidance. I release what no longer serves me and make space for love, clarity, and growth. I am becoming more grounded, more courageous, and more myself every day. Today at the market, I got a reminder I didn’t ask for and definitely didn’t want. A random vendor called me over and asked about someone I severed ties with almost three years ago. He shared updates, good news, casual conversation—but inside, I felt myself tighten. Annoyance washed over me so quickly it made me physically ill. And then came the self‑judgment: Why am I reacting like this? Why does this still bother me? By the time I got back to the car, I was spiraling. I did something I haven’t done in ages—I went on social media to “check up.” That was a mistake. It always is. But even in the middle of that spiral, something in me paused. I took a breath. I reached for the toolkit I’ve been building: breathe, watch your self‑talk, rememb...