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Day 3 - Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here in Barbados

Is Vibes on top of Vibes- Alone  Aaron Duncan


This morning the schedule included the morning radio show at 9am and the book signing at Pages Bookstore
We decided to take public transport, a mini van. Everyone probably had the same idea!
Every mini van taxi was full.
Okay the next plan was to take the bus
The bus came and it was what we call vibez!
People laughing and talking, school children in uniform, women and men going to work
I had to stand, the bus was so full up
The 20 minute ride took 45mins
An experience in 45mins
On the way back we also took the bus
This one was more vibez
Pumping dancehall
People dancing
People laughing
Oh yea, and the book signing went well too!

Peace


Day 2 - Book Tour Nyabo- Why Are You Here in Barbados

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Day 1 Book Tour Nyabo Why Are You Here in Barbados

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Let your joy be in your journey—not in some distant goal.” Tim Cook
I'm in Barbados, one day in, did my radio interview - confessions on the Journey - it ws not one of my best!
I press on
I had a full day, check the schedule
1. Radio Interview
2. Eat Fish
3. Finish Report
4. Eat Fish
5. Go to Beach
6.Eat Fish

Catch the pattern?

Eat fish in Barbados!



In this Place I Serve

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Yes, you are expected to help people when you are able.
Yes, you should share resources, exchange information, support those who need support.
But when will you let go and allow people to figure it out for themselves?
If you keep doing for people what they must learn to do for themselves, they will never learn to do it
This does not honor people.
It does not honor you - One Day My Soul

How do we know when it is time to step away from a situation?
How do we know when to support from close or from afar?
How do we know when we are enabling a situation?

I have learnt we know how to navigate the situation when we have clear boundaries and accept that when or if these boundaries are crossed we can have a conversation about the consequences.
I have learnt that wanting to control everything puts us in a situation of focusing on others rather than focusing on ourselves. You see, to focus on ourselves involves courage and maybe facing some home truths that we prefer to ignore
People have their own j…

Take a Full Breath Before You Act...

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Here’s a money-saving tip that also happens to be a radical counter-cultural act of defiance: Before you buy the promising under eye concealer, or the jeans (that are just like three other pairs of jeans you got, because they were going to change your life by attracting the perfect life partner), or before you sign the car lease because you’ve been picturing that moment you drive up to your family reunion, and as the glint of the chrome catches your cousins eye, they’ll finally know that you’ve been way smarter than all of them all along), before you pull out the credit card, take a full breath in and out and say to yourself, to YOU: I love you. And then see if you still have to have it Danielle La Porte

It all comes from inside! It cannot all be external, my granma says when a pig is dressed up with mud, it remains a pig
Wayne Dyer also says, when we are sqeezed we get to see what comes out. So if we squeeze an orange, what comes out is orange juice!
So, what happens when you get upset …

Order and Divine Timing

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Order means accepting the concept of divine timing even when it conflicts wih your schedule, this requires patience, surrender and trust - Iyanla Vanzant

The concept of Divine Timing took me some time to embrace and accept. I learnt about deadlines, being assertive, going after what I want, making things happen. Not doing any or all of these things I was told that it reflects laziness, sloth and complacency. I was judged by the amount of things that I got done, the faster the better.
Divine timing, I have learnt, is about order,order is the first law of the Universe.
For everything there is a reason and a season.
Divine timing has come to mean that everything happens in the right timing that is required for the lessons and growth and courage!
Order is about understanding that there are some things that cannot happen on our schedule as much as we will it, want it, demand it or force it.
Order and divine timing go hand in hand.
The old adage of "nothing happens before its time"…

Rest is Part of The Journey

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We were rewarded for being willing to do more than our share
We were encouraged to stay busy.
As a result, we learned to inflict ourselves with self-imposed duties that ultimately lead to mental, physical and spiritual exhaustion - One Day My Soul Just Opened Up

Growing up, my mother would wake me up extremely early on a Saturday morning, I would be angry because I did not have school. I wanted the opportunity to sleep late, to laze around and get some rest after a packed week.

" No one in this house must be asleep after the sun has risen" was the standard response from her

"Huh?? why??" was my standard response to that response

The conversation never got any further, it was, do as I say or probably die!

Then I heard my grandma say the exact thing
"No one in this house must be asleep after the sun has risen"
Oh, it was adding up, it seemed to have been passed down from her generation.

I would have to wake up and do chores until after lunch... Every Saturday

Strength Looks Like...

Strength also looks like • letting go of what no longer serves you • breaking to rebuild—better • transcending negativity • vibrating higher daily • transparency • alone self-care time • positive intentions • smiling and inner-joy • trusting the process - Lalah Delia

There is a debate about what a strong woman looks like. I love Lalah's definition and would like to now add my own

Strong also looks like

showing upletting gonot taking things personalsetting boundariesenforcing boundarieshaving solitidebeing disciplinedhaving fun despite..
Send me some of your perception of what strong is Peace
Have you read any of Akosua's work? What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here? Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal
Follow Akosua on Twitter Instagram Facebook




Reflection is different to Overthinking

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We don't always need to jump into what to do and how to feel differently. Sometimes the best solution isn't a solution at all – it's a reflection. It's a investigation into what's actually going on Maxie McCoy


Taking time to reflect has helped me in making decisions, in responding rather than reacting
Reflecting I have learnt is way way way different to overthinking. Reflection involves being open, honest, courageous and asking tough questions.It involves taking responsibility.
Over thinking include making up stories and scenarios, playing them out as if they are real and laced with fear and blame.

In reflection, the questions that you ask yourself are key. Is it a story? Is it true? What is my role and responsibility in this? Am I missing something?

Reflection involves taking some time before a firm decision is made. Fools rush in they say! and that meant for me, foolish actions happen when there is little or no reflection involved

I usually had the tendency to "so…

Trust and Initmacy Must Be Earned

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Something I have learned in life is that people who have no boundaries are constantly furious. Furious, victimized, hurt, offended, and outraged. If you cannot figure out how to uphold the healthy, accurate, and appropriate distance between yourself and every person in your life (and it will be a different distance for every person in your life) then you will never know a moment of serenity. 

Not everybody gets to have full access to you. 
Trust and intimacy must be earned. (People will help you with this project by constantly showing you who they really are. Create your boundaries accordingly.) 
To do anything else is naive and immature. So: Who are you furious at today? Now look closely at your history with them. Find the moment when you allowed that person to come closer to you than they had earned the right to come.
Now figure out how to reestablish (or establish for the first time) a wiser boundary. 
When they are held the correct distance from you, you will stop hating them. 
Until th…

Live From The Possibility

The four pillars of Authentic Power: Commitment, Courage, Compassion, and Conscious Communications and Actions Gary Zukav You must get the capacity to see beyond where you are We livein a very mechanistic society that puts us in a fix it mode so we start with the problem, we focus on it then we try to figure out how we can change the problem so all of our attention goes to the problem. You want to getsomewhere? You can’t have all your attention on the problem You want to get somewhere? You got to have your attention to where you want to go You can ask the question “How can I stop doubting myself? How can I start my dream/book/business But if all your attention is on the fact that you doubt or are still broke you are not going to go anywhere Something in you must focus on how can I get through this day doing something else? How can I be healthy? How can I be stronger? Look at the problems alone and be stuck in more of it How are we going to get out of the mess? No! Something somewhere in you has…

Don't Lie to Yourself

Lying to yourself and other people about what you need,want,like or do is akin to having a bacterial fungus. It spreads quickly into other areas of your life and pollutes your being - One Day My Soul Just Opened Up

The truth will set you free, that is a fact! The truth you tell yourself, more than anything else, more than telling others. What you tell yourself, you become.
You don't have to tell me what is going on in your life, I can see it.
You don't have to tell me if you are eating healthy, I can see it, and I don't mean only in your weight, it can be shown in the glow of your skin, in your health and so on
You don't have to tell me that you are happy - it shows on how you treat people, how you treat yourself, how you speak to people, your relationships with your family, co-workers, your community.
You don't have to tell me if you are stressed - it shows
Life is always giving us clues and guides
When we lie to ourselves, the result does not change.
The truth wi…

Letting Go

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Be Willing...

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Willingness does not make your life easier. What it will do,however, is make it easier for you to move through every experience that you my confront in life. You may grow in mental agility, spititual fortitude and divine stamina - One Day My Soul Just Opened Up

I have been practising being willing. I have been doing the willingness thing! Yes y'all. I have been slaying the resistance!
It works a treat! Let me tell you. I learn, I scream, I laugh, I move on.
When the resistance comes up, I start the self talk - "Ok, you don't have to do anything right now boo, all you have to do at this moment is be willing." I repeat the mantra and watch how the resistance starts to fade and I am now more open to doing a new thing, to setting boundaries, to showing up, to stop people pleasing and acting in fear. Just from the position of being willing!
I have learnt that willingness, trust and courage go hand in hand. I cannot be willing without trusting that things will work out as …

Celebration Reignites Joy

We gonna celebrate and have a good time. It's time to come together It's up to you, what's your pleasure. Kool and the Gang
Do you wait until a specific moment to celebrate?  Do you wait until something happens to treat yourself? Do you even celebrate or treat yourself? Celebration is an essential part of the Journey It reignites joy It reignites happiness Without joy and happiness on the Journey, trust me, it will be difficult There is absolutely no reason to have any guilt, remorse, feeling bad about celebrating your own fine self, to celebrate your achievements no matter how large or small! Waiting on doing something special for what? as the song says "turn down for what?"
You get to choose how you celebrate, it may look different to others It may be a bubble bath, it may be a bubble party! It really is your choice.
Celebration is part of your soul self care.
How are you celebrating receiving this gift of life?
Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's work? What D…

Let Us Continue The Work

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We Are Our Ancestors Wildest Dreams 


A friend of mine yesterday was talking about a funeral that she just attended for someone who was 105 years old. She mentioned that she believes that she has so much more to do and wants to get going in doing it after attending and hearing about this person's journey.
That statement made me think. The ones that came before us who paved the path had an unwavering belief that things were going to get better, that their children and grand children would not have to live through any of the horrors and tribulations that they suffered. This unwavering belief has manifested in many ways. I thought about here we are now moaning and complaining about trivial things forgetting the journey that went before us
We moan and cry if there is no air conditioning in a building, or if someone who we know is not a good fit for us leaves us, we cry and moan because we cannot get a handbag or show, or some other material thing we look towards to validate us.
I am no…

What You Need is In You

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What You Need is In You - Iyanla Vanzant

This weekend we celebrated one of the young ladies of the NiNa Programme, she completed and passed her exams against all odds. We took her to lunch with a friend of her choice.
Not many of the ladies at the home study traditional subjects, quite a few of them go on to do the trades on offer such as, sewing, hairdressing, geriatric nursing to name a few. They don't seem to have the mental capacity to study full time based on early assessments of them entering the home.
Someone told me maybe they neded extra lessons in order to pass their exams, I thought about it - how many of us can focus when the world around us seems to be crashing, when we feel abandoned, or stuck?
Even as an adult, when minor stuff happens in my life I get an urge to fly away, shut myself off and hibernate, to find an escape route either through food or some other mind numbing activity.Far less for a teenager who has family "on the outside" but lives in a plac…

Thank you Aretha!

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No, I don't regret a single moment, no, I don't
(I know you don't) Looking back
When I think of all those disappointments
I just laugh (I know you do), I just laugh - Aretha Franklin I knew you were waiting for me

Do you have a playlist?
I have a playlist, I named it positive vibez, I made it at a time when I was deep down in a muck. I felt that having some positive music in my ear out there in Manchester where I started my Phd programme would get through the days!
I must admit, it really raised my vibes tremendously.
I would listen to it to from my walk to school and work, on the train when I took trips up to London,while I was running. Everyday I had these wonderful tunes spurring me on.
When Aretha Franklyn passed, there were many tributes, I was listening to one and boom, I realised there and then quite a few of her tunes were on my positive vibes list.
I thought about Aretha and how much of an impact she had on the world through her voice, her songs, her life. How many of us d…

The Universe Reflects Back at You

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It took me a long time to understand that heroic people have flaws too. The bigger the person, the bigger the flaws. Oftentimes, the flaws just get overshadowed by that big character. Soledad Francis

Have you ever had the experience where someone you know just gets on your last nerve? As soon as they open their mouth you get some sort of trigger! You start getting defensive, you might start shutting them down or shutting yourself down mentally only hearing - blah blah blah when they speak
Or maybe you just completely ignore them
It seems as if when this person is around or speaks all your good sense just seems to evaporate and you start acting like....you have no sense!

Well if you have, confessions on the Journey, I have also been doing that over the last few weeks. Here I am, triggered. I roll my eyes, I suck my teeth, I shut down, I shut others down. just a hot mess!
And what was even more startling to me is - I really did not care!

Of course, right on time I woke up yesterday and …

Do Not Settle

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Settling for crumbs doesn't keep you fed, it keeps you starving- Danielle La Porte
I've learnt that one of the most soul destroying actions is to settle! 
What does settling mean in this context?
Settling is when I do things  people ask me to do without questioning my  intention behind why I am doing it. What is my why? Setling is when I do not question core beliefs handed down to me and I  live them despite the fact that they do not produce any forward movement in my life. In fact, they do more harm than anything else. Settling is doing activities to keep the status quo. Settling is doing a thing because I want someone to like me - people pleasing. Settling is doing things out of shame and guilt.
Settling destroys authenticity, it promotes shame and guilt and leads straight to resentment. 
Do not settle! 
Ask for what you want with clarity, respect and dignity. Show up as you, every single time. Forgive yourself and others for miscommunication, misunderstandings.
Let it go. Question core b…

The Bootstrapper's Way

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A true friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg, even though they know you're slightly cracked.



Last Tuesday, I met up with a few wonderful people that I am blessed to know, we took the time out to meet at a restaurant have some sushi and chat.
These wonderful people took the time to celebrate the fact that another book has joined the family.
To be honest, I was not going to make a big deal about this, I think it is because it reminds me of a part of my life that I classify as "unfinished business"
It brought up those memories reminding me that I left that part of of life without closing it off.
I started a PhD in Manchester UK with  a focus on women entrepreneurs in Trinidad and Tobago. The aim was to spend 3 years out there and compile a body of research that could be used to advance both the state of women's entrepreneurship and empowerment
I was doing this in the middle of a very difficult time in my life, everything was shifting, things that I held dea…