Showing posts from 2018

Your Purpose Brings You Joy

Everybody's purpose will not be there job, your purpose may not make you money. Some of us will have it as a job and some of us will not.Your purpose is what makes you joy. Iyanla Vanzant

Many times on the journey I am asked the question "how do I find my purpose?"
or "how can my purpose make me money?"

Somehow purpose and loads of  money have been linked. we have started believing that once we find our purpose that we become wealthy, we become problem free, we become famous. Am...newsflash life continues. I will admit life will be more fulfilling when one knows their purpose and yes the money comes. However it is not an automatic pill! There is still work to be done, discipline to be brought to the fore, and belief in self to be demonstrated.

What I have learnt is,
1. We don't have to FIND our purpose- we know it. We have to believe, we have to bring it to the fore, we have to move forward and be obedient when we get the nudgings from the Universe.

2. The …

Do you listen to your Internal critic?

Everyone has a different version of an internal critic, and anyone who tells you that they are "fearless" and that they no longer have internal criticisms total denial. Kate Courageous 

I have an internal critic - Confessions on the Journey!
That internal voice that speaks or sometimes shouts at me about...let's see
1. My weight
2. Did I say My weight?
3. Managing money
4. Did I say managing money?
5. How long my goals are taking to manifest

There are other ramblings, but the ones stated above, are on rotation.
What I have learnt however is,
 I can hear the voice, answer and not let it run my life. I can hear it and not act or not act on it.
I invite it in, I ask the voice "is what you are saying true?"
I ask "who told you this to tell me?"
I ask "what are you here to show me that's useful"
(PS - if you are going to ask - don't ask it out loud in the company of others, trust me!)
then I move forward.
Is it easy? Nope
Is it worth it? Yup!
This …

Reprogramme Your Consciousness

Reprogramme yourself, Reprogramme Your Beliefs. Update. Replace.Reboot Your Consciousness - Iyanla Vanzant

I have been listening to Iyanla Vanzant's Fixin Online Course, the topic is Relationships, and there have so many penny dropping moments, it literally stopped me in my tracks.
What caught me was the concept of relationships being a mirror. The people that come into your life mirror either how you feel about yourself or what you need to heal.

A mirror or what you need to heal!

I had to ask myself - ok who are the mirrors. When I realised who were the mirrors I took a deep breath- do you mean I have been treating my own self like this? No bloody way!!! total wake up call!
Looking at the relationships in my life with these lens have given me a different perspective. One of discernment and compassion.
What do I need to heal
What do I need to change
What do I need to adjust
What do I need to forgive

Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the…

The Three P's of Relationships

The three P’s—passion, power and pain—that are part of every relationship - Iyanla Vanzant

All relationships I have learnt takes a certain amount of vested interest. How we show up in our relationships will determine how we show out. 

Relationships mirror back to us where we are, what we are thinking, consciously, subsoncsiously and un consciously.
Look at the relationships in your life and they tell you a story, or maybe the lack of relationships
Be the relationship

our relationships tell us a story

The challenge comes in when we have conflicts, differing opinions and want our own way When we act and make decisions on fear and people pleasing.
There are tools which we can use to resolve conflicts, what happens is a combination of us not knowing these tools, not wanting to use these tools for many varied reasons including ego and wanting to be right and wanting to not look "bad" and the clincher is admitting our mistakes

Who likes admitting making a mista…

New Naratives on Being Strong

I used to think strong meant being tough, cold, hard, but I know now that that type of strength is a mask I used to cover up my fears and insecurities. Being strong has a lot more to do with softness than what I was originally brought up to believe Alexix Johnson

The image I had of a strong woman was one who never cried or showed emotions in front of others, can take multiple hits (life setbacks) and still remain standing and of course, look like a diva while at it.

I myself wanted to live up to that image

What I have learnt is, I can be soft and strong at the same time
I have learnt that vulnerability is strength and showing up real takes an enormous level of courage

Women are nurturers, we have the intuition thing down pact! The emotions we have are natural guides, to surpress that? for what?
I don't need a definition of some far away TV land of what strong is and this is a different time! I don't have to pretend to be a robot and not show emotion to anyone in the name of being st…

In Stillness Magic Happens

Everything that's created comes out of silence. Your thoughts emerge from the nothingness of silence. Your words come out of this void. Your very essence emerged from emptiness. All creativity requires some stillness Wayne Dyer

Yesterday a few friends and I decided to walk through the rain forest to see the Turure Falls. I have always wanted to go there and the opportunity presented itself yesterday which I took with both hands!
The drive to the entrance was just about an hour, then we had to park the car and walk through the rainforest to find the falls. The beauty of the falls we heard, is that there are 4 levels like fully formed steps, straight out of nature! I was excited to see this.

Whilst walking through the rain forest, the silence was deafening! The stillness was breathtaking, it actually woke me up. It almost felt like a bolt into my consciousness to say - take some time to be still, to be silent, to be awake!
The little reminders are always on time
We revel in the busyness …

You Live What You Believe

What you believe, you will repeat, over and over - Iyanla Vanzant

Core beliefs contribute to our decisions and ultimately our lives. There are times that our core beliefs limit our growth. Unconsciously we believe what we were taught as children many times after we have either outgrown them. We believe some of the religious core beliefs even though they may not be relevant to the times. Myths handed down that are not questioned may also lead to a life less fulfilled.
So, the question is, what do you believe? And if you don't know for sure, look at your life, whatever is inside will manifests itself into your reality. It really is that simple
The part which may be challenging is accepting and facing the unconscious beliefs.
So if you believe that you are unworthy or not enough this is what you you will attract into your life
You attract what you believe!
If you believe you are the bees knees, you will treat yourself accordingly
Belive baby, Believe!!

Have you Read Akosua's Work…

Are You Ready to Do What It Takes?

Ask For What You Want and Let the Universe Fill In The Details - Iyanla Vanzant

Asking for what I want has historically been a challenge. Why?

1. As a child it would usually come with either a lecture or a no

2. As a wife and partner it would sometimes  come with "stop being a nag"

3. As an employee it sometimes would result in changed conditions.

So what do I do?
Stay in the corner and don't rock the boat.
After a while feel a sense of resentment
Health issues ensue when the resentment builds up and then shit hits fan
If it is not dealt with the cycly continue

So asking for what you want takes courage, it takes willingness, it takes persistence and determination, it takes guts, it takes backbone, it takes doing the work.
Are you ready to do what it takes to get what you want?


What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?

Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal

Hold Still

“Hold still. Stay there. Tease back the layers. You are in the space between your comfort zone and infinity. You want to hide. Not be seen. Not be open. Not be vulnerable. But you have to. There are two ways to do this – soft and gentle or fast and hard. Both will get you to the other side, if you let them.” – Jeanette LeBlanc

The entire concept of feel the feelings took on a whole other level of significance for me!
Yesterday I was listening to a conversation, and let me tell you, it is the barefaced truth that we can get lessons from anyone and from anywhere!
The conversation was centered around how busy she was and how strong she had to be for her kids while going through a divorce. Strong enough to sign up for a PhD and to keep it together with no tears!
So why no tears? Why is that strong? - well because I don't want the kids to see me as weak and crying all the time

So why are you so busy with doing a PhD - well I have to provide for my children

Is it okay for the kids to no…

Make Better Choices

Life is made up of an infinite amount of choices. Most decisions, such as what you’ll eat for lunch today, are small and only slightly impactful, but it’s the big decisions—the ones that can change your life forever—that are tough to make. - Lydia Sweat

In January of every year I come up with three different mantras for the year. For 2018, my three mantra's were

1. Make Better Choices

2. Show up Real

3. Let go when you have done all you can

The second and third one has been easier. Make better choices has been the challenge.
Why? I act on impulse, I feel it, I do it. When I follow my intuition it works out swimmingly! it may not even make an inkling of sense the feeling and the doing it. But I press ahead like a champion.
When the decision is made in fear, the outcome is fear based.
So when faced with a decision, the mantra kicks in "Make Better Choices"
Once I get still, my intuition whispers to me
Once I get busy the fear steps in

Make Better Choices - choose in Love n…

Difficult Conversations

Remind yourself that if you think you already understand how someone feels or what they are trying to say, it is a delusion. Remember a time when you were sure you were right and then discovered one little fact that changed everything. There is always more to learn.”  Douglas Stone

Difficult conversations are just that, difficult!
I still avoid them like the plague, less so now
As a recovering people pleaser I abolutely cringe in making peole who I like or respect mad. I know, I know, it is part of life that everyone will never see eye to eye with all our philosohies and beliefs. That is all well and good in theory, in the real world it scares the bejesus out of me! I usually dance around it and skip around it until what happens? either shit hits fan or the person disappears from my circle. Both scenarious that could have been avoided with only a willingness to be vulnerable.
Vulnerability takes a whole heap of guts, let me tell ya!
So here is what I have learned in having difficult c…

Wealth Can Come from Within

Most people are kept in a state of fear, jealousy, competition, comparison, complaining, and disillusionment. This leaves you open to be easily manipulated and controlled. You are convinced that you need money in order to have worth. This belief will indeed keep you poor. The wealth that we are speaking about is the wealth that comes from being a sovereign and free spirit and in alignment with the true knowing of who we are. Maryam Hasna

The world we live in is one where money is a requirement for survival. Money, they say, make the world go round. Many of us have grown up around the beliefs that without money we are nothing, that we are less than or that our lives will be less than as we are not able to afford the finer things in life.
The majority of our decisions are made "because we have money" or "because we have no money"
The challenge begins when these decisions made "because we have no money" starts affecting our self worth and enoughness. It'…

Who is In Your Corner?

Who is In Your Corner? Kate Courageous

This morning I had the absolute honor and priveledge to be invited on to Hearbeat Radio for Women with the Lovely Natacha Jones, Candy and Lisa McLean of MomsConnect to discuss their upcoming Monther's Day event at More Vino South and to chime in on the question "Does it Take A Village?"
I love these conversations because it allows for so many different points of views to be heard and expanded upon.

The conversation really hasd me reflecting on who is in my village.
Who is in your village?
Are they there by default? Did you choose them? Will they remain? Are you even in their village?
And why is this even important?
I think for me, having a safe space is my village, one where I can just be! Where I can unfurl. Where I can fail forward, make mistakes minus the judgement but adding in the constructive loving feedback

Do we just keep people in the village by default? Or do we choose?
Do we feel safe in our village?
Do we have fun in ou…

Self Conscious?

self-consciousness is the assassin of intimacy. And lying is born of self-consciousness. People lie because they worry about what you're going to think. They lie because they are afraid of how you are going to perceive them. They lie because they are self-conscious.  Stacy Herrera
Self Consciousness as defined by the Merriam Webster Dictionary is "uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others"
I wanted to break this down for my own understanding. Confessions on the journey I have been feeling quite self conscious over the last few days.It is indeed an uncomfortable feeling!
"as an object of the observation of others" - this is really the part that floored me. The uncomfortable feeling comes because  of the observation of others, it may not even be factual!  Sometimes, we make up stories, we compare ourselves, we listen to people who do not know us, we listen to feedback that comes from a space and mindset of fear or status quo then we…

Spicing up the Spice Isle - Day 5

Love as a tool for Disruption - Layla Saad

The workshops are finished. A group of 15 people from all over the Caribbean came together this week under the PISCES project, with the aim of improving communities and lives. Nothing much more makes me happier. The sessions were long but fun, the people were knowledable and lovely. The co-facilitators were excellent, I love working with Keisha, I learn so much from her and give thanks for the opportunity to be able to do sessions with and spend time with her.

After the workshops, the readings began, I was grateful for all present. I had fun. I learnt that I must market my programmes more agressively and sometimes differently in different markets. I learnt that taking the country's culture into consideration is important, I learnt that I must show up with my whole self no matter who is in the audience, I learnt to expect the unexpected and handle it
I learnt that there is room for everyone on the planet to do their thing, we all contribut…

Spicing up the Spice Isle - Day 4

There's been so many things that's held us down
But now it looks like things are finally comin' around
I know we've got, a long long way to go
And where we'll end up, I don't know

But we won't let nothin' hold us back
We're putting our selves together
We're polishing up our act!
If you felt we've been held down before

I know you'll refuse to be held down anymore!
Don't you let nothing, nothing
Stand in your way! Ain't No Stopping Us Now

Yesterday we went to the other side of the island, visited a sea moss farm and a comunity business. Both having massive impact on the community. To see the people in their element was a treat, it was inspiring, it was educational, it was an eye opener. I always admire anyone who go after their dreams no matter what!? Everytime I meet any one I like that I get a little bit more courage to live my best life, this is one of the main reasons I go, and it is always a bonus to support our brothers and sisters
So th…

Spicing up The Spice Isle - Day 3

the reality is, I want to share my work in a BIG way! And I want to be brave enough to step out on the edge with the hard stuff. That means my chances of messing up are high, so instead of avoiding the hard, scary stuff, I’ve got to be willing to stay open and learn from others. Sara Alvarado

Fear - what a hell of a thing! I keep myself in a box because of fear, this feeling reared it's head here on the Spice Isle in two instances
I walked to the beach, I mean out of a post card, white sands, blue water, empty beach, I looked at it lovingly but I would never step in the water! It scares me shitless!
When I was younger I almost drowned twice, the feeling of helplessness, I never let it go. It still lives within me, on top of that, I have a fear of wearing a swimsuit, yup there it is, I said it! I feel soooooo naked and judged, I know I know It is all me and in my head, still holding on to those fears which has me missing out on white sandy beaches all over the world!
The other fear, a …

Spicing Up The Spice Isle Day 2

Little things seem nothing, but they give peace, like those meadow flowers which individually seem odorless but all together perfume the air. Georges Bernanos

Grenada is lovely, the laid back vibe is unmissable, the people are friendly and the hotel that put us up is just fabulous! And it is close to the beach - nothing beats that!

I took the opportunity to run to the beach this morning at 6am, to my surprise the beach was full of people, seems as though it was a senior citizens party that was either starting or continuing. Senior citizens were there having a good time. I smiled at the scenes, I smiled because the simple things can bring us so much joy, nature, the beach, good friends, companionship! The little things are usually the big things
The excitement they were giving off made me stop to watch them further, and I smiled more
What a great simple way to start my day
I will be co-facilitating a workshop today, giving thanks for the oportunity to share lessons on the journey


Spicing up the Spice Isle

Enjoy the Journey because you are always where you are meant to be - Mayam Hasnaa

At this said moment I am waiting on a taxi to take me to the airport to catch a flight to Grenada. They call it the Spice Island - only because they have a history of nutmeg, clove and other natural spices that grow in abundance! Yeah, really, that is the only reason it is referred to as the Spice Isle!

I will be there this week facilitating sessions on rural development on behalf of an NGO called CANARI, and on the last day I do a reading. I am excited to visit, this will be the second time that I will be on the island. The first time I was there I absolutely fell in love with the place, the people, the nature, the beaches. Absolutely stunning. I have committed myself to making time to run on mornings on the beach and to taking advantage of being close to all the nature

So, let me get going, the taxi soon come!
Catch you on the flip side

Have You Read Any of Akosua's Books?

What Did I Learn Today? Le…

Comfort Zone Smashed...Again

Whenever you feel uncomfortable, instead of retreating back into your old comfort zone, pat yourself on the back and say, “I must be growing,” and continue moving forward.” – T. Harv Eker

Another comfort zone smashed again. I received a call late on Saturday evening to appear on a very popular morning radio programme. I was apprehensive as I do not consider myself an expert on the topic of "Girls Sex Ed in Schools" the producer told me to share my views.
So, I listened to the lessons that I have learnt on the journey to "show up as myself" 
At first I was a bit slow, I lost my train of thought, I thought that the ground would open up and swallow me, I paused, relaxed and got into it after! I did not let the slip deter me from not only showing up, but also having fun! And I did have fun.


Comfort Zones Smashed

When Was The Last Time You Did Something For the First Time? Anonymous

Today I participated in an event called "Ole Mas" it is a historical event held in Trinidad and Tobago where people dress up in costumes and give social commentary on issies affecting the world and the country in a comical fashion.
I have never done it before, it always looked like it took courage and balls really!

So when a friend asked me to participate, I was giving tons of excuses about why and why not and maybe or maybe not
Then when I sat and gave it further thought, I said to myself
Self, don't you want to be more courageus? - Yes
Don't you want to smash comfort zones? - Yes
Don't you want to meet new people? - Yes
Don't you want to see what is on the other side of fear? - Yes

After that conversation with self I decided to say yes
What absolute fun I had! It was a blast and I was able to support my friend in her endeavour
We even won a trophy, a bottle of wine and a hamper!
Not bad …


Wanting is universal. We all have something we want. Sometimes those wants are huge and overwhelming. Sometimes, those wants are simple and humbling. Regardless of what it is that we want, too much wanting can strangle the beauty in just being, in presence. Wanting can be a finely danced balance. But if you do a few things right, you'll experience more of what it is that you want without being poisoned by the wanting. Maxie McCoy

Have you ever wanted anything so much that it hurt?
Have you ever wanted something so much that you felt that you would lose your mind?
Have you ever wanted a thing so badly that you deserted all manner of common sense?
Yes, my friends, the Universal wanting! What do you do when the Universal wanting takes over?

My top 5 tips

1. Know your Why- Why is the want so pressing

2. Patience. Patience. Patience.

4. Trust is essential

5. Take responsibility

6. Do the Work


Houston Day 5

Desperation is unstainable - Cheryl Strayed

Yesterday I felt desperate, I really did. All day meetings with the publishers did not yield the results that I believed would aid in the success of my trip! Desperation had me acting like a nutter! It was almost like a total out of body experience.
Desperation adds to reactionary behaviour
It promotes doubt and uncertainty
Making a decision out of desperation can be a recipe for disaster.
After I had my out of body experience I realised that, because of my desperation I made choices out of fear and said a few things that I cannot take back! Alll that I can do is apologize!

Lesson- feel the feelings, take some time before reacting and most of all trust that once you have put in the work that whatever happens it's all good!

Houston Day 4

No man is an island entire of itself: every man is a part of the continent, a part of the main - John Donne

More time spent with the fam fam yesterday, my cousin and I stepped into the boing ring. I love boxing, I started boxing a few years ago, it promoted my stress belief and anger management on the journey. My cousin loves boxing as well, we have had many long conversations on it so getting a time to step into the ring last night was a happy moment for me. We had loads of un.
It is interesting how me living my own life impacted others. Over the past two days this has been pointed out to me in ways that have humbled me and brought me back on track.

What I am saying today is, living your life, your best life, your most authentic life, is a demonstration of what is possible.
What is possible when you take one day at a time, when you are authentic, when you make decisions out of love rather than fear, when you show up, when you live your own life, mind your own business and love YOUR o…

Houston Day 3

The major work of the world is not done by geniuses. It is done by ordinary people, with balance in their lives, who have learned to work in an extraordinary manner.” 
― Gordon B. Hinckley

I always take the opportunity to come to Houston mainly because I have very close family living here. I take the time to see them, spend time with them, catching up. It is almost like a home away from home.

Over the weekend I did just that, I have 6 cousins and an aunt who live here. I grew up with them, they know me, we can laugh, make jokes, hang and shoot the breeze
Until I sat down around the kitchen table having fun with them I did not realise that I don't do this much, I spend quite a bit of time alone, which yes is required. As with everything, balance is essential. So the lesson I took from it is to get the balance, how can I create more balance between quiet time and interacting with my loved ones, outside of work.

So many times we fall into a routine and forget about what feeds our soul

Houston - There is no Problem

When I think of all those disappointments I just laugh - Aretha Franklyn

I was scheduled to fly to Houston on Friday, I was also scheduled to attend an event at the University before flying out.
I decided to get home early to pack. Picked up my passport case and to my shock and utter horror the passport was not where it was supposed to be. I started looking for it, turned into a four hour smash down, I could not make the University function and it sure looked like I may not be making the flight as well. I started feeling ill, just ill at the inconveniece of having to get new documents. The search continued, 3 hours left to make the flight. I decided to take one last look. I emptied the book case and looked through each book, on the last shelf there it was tucked neatly into a book staring at me. The movements started I was rushing now to make the flight. One hour left. I asked a friend to pick me up, she was running behind and then she called, she got a flat tire

Have you ever had on…

Fear is not of the unknown, but of the loss of the known.

Fear is not of the unknown, but of the loss of the known. The unknown does not incite fear, but dependence on the known does. Fear is always with desire, the desire for the more or for the less. The mind, with its incessant weaving of patterns, is the maker of time; and with time there is fear, hope and death.J. Krishnamurti, The Book of Life

As humans, we love the familiar, we love to "know" , we love to be in control. We love it so much that we are willing to go through pain and suffering to be in control and to know, we are willing to lose friends and loved ones to prove that we are right, we are willing to argue our point to the last without thinking of the consequences of these actions.

Fear of the loss of what we know drives us to make decisions that keep us stuck.
One of the questions I ask myself over and over again is "what would you do right now, in this moment if you were not afraid?" and then I do it. Sometimes I am happy about the decision and sometimes I…