What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

  What is on your “While I Live” list? Nedra Glover Tawwab  My friend died, my soul sis - that is what we called each other. I just finished speaking at her memorial this morning- I can safely say that it was one of the poorest speeches that I have even given. Maybe later I will analyze why that happened or maybe not! I did my absolute best in the moment .A surreal moment to say the least. My friend was a force, a light force, she made me want to be a better person, just by how she showed up, she lived a life of and with love, she lived a life of authenticity, fun, realness, compassion. I am really not saying that because she died, this is true! When I met her, we were studying and she was naturally, one of the popular girls in the class. I looked at her and I thought, how awesome must it be to live that freely. I was so concerned with saying the right thing, doing the right thing, people liking me - newsflash - that is no way to live,. I quickly learned from her that showing up real

  Self Acceptance is ongoing and ever evolving. Seek ye first    - Phylicia Rashad Who you are does not depend on anything outside of you. Let  me say that again. who you are does not depend on where you live, what you drive, where you work, and on and on and on It's challenging to believe that given the world that we live in, what I have learnt is that it all starts inside of me. Love - Inside of me Forgiveness - Inside of me Self Value - inside of me Discipline - Inside of me There is no where I have to go, no THING I have to buy, get, chase, own that will bring it to me No one can heal for you, eat for you, exercise for you, sleep for you. It's you. All you You are that powerful! When we accept who we are, in all of our flaws and all our glory - we make decisions that reflect that level of acceptance and resilience.  .With acceptance comes responsibility With Self Acceptance comes the willingness to own, experience, and take responsibility for our thoughts, feelings, and act

  Mastery comes when fear is dissolved. Fear is dissolved not by fearing it, hating it, judging it but looking upon it with perfect love. Look at the fear and surrender it Iyanla Vanzant Over the past ten days I have been travelling. I have covered three countries in the Eastern Caribbean chatting with young ladies on what their version of empowerment and personal power means to them. So far, I have been to St Kitts and Nevis, St Martin (the Dutch side) and Jamaica. Each country with its own culture and dynamics. While all of this is happening so is life. Top Ten Lessons: Spending time outside of our comfort zones is growth - trust me the cliche is real and real life. Having to navigate new surroundings, new food, overall newness has made me think about being present and in the moment rather than looking for the same conditions and situations from back at home. There will hardly ever be the same situations in a different place. I have learnt that I must adapt, accept and choose. Ther

Validation is approval from others. Self-esteem is approval from yourself. Never sacrifice your self-esteem to gain validation. Validation is easily regained once lost. Self-esteem is not. Mark Manson   Humans love to be recognized for the contributions, they want to be seen, loved, chosen, adored. We thrive on it, we love to feel appreciated. I can safely say that for me hearing "I appreciate you" melts my heart, I feel light and fluffy upon hearing that! The challenge comes when there is an imbalance with seeking  internal and external validation. We only seek external validation. we crave it, we do everything with that as the intention. Why is this a challenge? Everyone will not like you (as lovely as you are), people have their own thing going on and may not tell you how wonderful you are, there are jealous people, and the list goes on. Validate yourself - often!  Start small - how do you speak to yourself? What do you say to yourself?  What do you say to others about yo

  Unconditional love is not the same as normal love. Unconditional love encompasses acceptance, compassion. forgiveness, non judgement and trust. As you continue to practice you hold yourself and others with love.  You are enthusiastic and inspired. Practising unconditional love with and for yourself means that you honor your commitments no matter what else attracts your attention. It also means if you fall off, you get back up, you get up and you never give up on yourself. Love never gives up  The Accountability Process 2013  This month as I journey towards unconditional self love, I am keeping it simple, I commit to: 1. Consistently eating healthy foods that nourish my body. 2. Having a strong NO 3. Having a strong YES 4. Keeping the commitments I make to myself even when there are distractions, noise and pressure to conform. There are times when a renegotiation becomes necessary. Self Love is about knowing when to initiate that minus judgement and ego. 5. Keeping  the commitments  I