Showing posts from 2019

Not Every Decision Needs a Decision

Sharing a post from Maxie McCoy

On my way to  Accra Ghana- a couple of days travel, so, will vibes y'all on the flip side with all the lessons

I’m the queen of this. I will blow things up, sometimes prematurely, sometimes with force, sometimes with risk, so that I know. Or at least, that’s what I thought I was doing at the time. I was simply getting the answer sooner. I was seeing the light quicker. Why waste my time? Why not just KNOW? It shows up in forcing conversations. In asking pushy questions. In showing up at their door in another country, unannounced. In expediting answers.
But what I see when I look back on all of that is not wisdom and confidence in facing the truth, but a desperation for certainty. I was forcing clarity (yes, clarity can be forced). And while I may have received those things – clarity & certainty – in one way, that’s just that, they were in one way – my way. There wasn’t much space for the magic of time, or the respect of another person’s …

More Lessons from St Kitts

Your mind will always try to stop you with doubt, negative self talk, excuses, fear, negative future/ past images, etc You have to be aware of it and continue to choose better. Your mind is not your friend. You have to control it or else it will control you. Gal Shapira

The electricity at the hotel went off, it was about 4.30 am, I had big plans to take a run at about 5.30 am. I was not that adventurous. The sun came up and it was bright enough. I ventured outside to the top of a monster hill just to see the most beautiful sunrise at a point where the Atlantic Ocean meets the Caribbean Sea. I was happy that I felt brave enough to show up. As I returned I decided to walk on the beach before heading back to the hotel to complete the emails and share the stories on social media.
As I returned to the hotel, no electricity!
That means no WiFi!
I literally panicked. What do you mean there is no WiFi?
I walked to the reception, the receptionist explained that there is an island wide pr…

Lessons from St Kitts and Nevis

If small things have the power to disturb you, then who you think you are is exactly that: small. That will be your unconscious belief. Echart Tolle

This week I am in St Kitts and Nevis, a very pretty and laid back island that captured my heart. the assignment is different to St Lucia. Facilitating a workshop for a rural organisation. I love the variety and meeting new people.

Today while minding my business walking to the supermarket, I stopped to ask questions. The guy gave me directions and asked if I was heading to the beach after. Not likely I said, out of his bag hopped 2 monkeys, yes monkeys- real ones. They jumped on me, I wanted to scream so loudly. Of course he saw my discomfort and asked me to relax, and spoke to the monkeys as well.
They wanted to kiss me, I was not having it!
They crawled over me, had their fun whether I was tense or not, but as soon as I relaxed, they also relaxed, they just sat on my shoulder as if they were not even there.
The power of relaxation is immense…

Day 4 - Lessons from St Lucia

Anything is possible Ebonee Davis

Drove about an hour out to Vieux Fort to visit the Eco South Tours - a local community group aiming to bring about sustainable livelihoods using the natural resources within the area. So far they use th sea to produce sea moss, to provide kayaking tours. They have an apiary making high grade honey, they also have a camping site available.
The set up is pretty simple -pay a fee and get an authentic experiences from the rural community of St Lucia.
Standing there I am reminded of a few things:
1. Simplicity is not always the easiest option
2. All needs are met - we get exactly what we need when we need it, what happens is the wanting of more and being attached to a particular outcome
3. Use what you have - it is provided to you for a reason
4. Make friends and diverse ones - a support network is always useful
5. Keep plugging away!

Best of luck to the Eco South Tours on their commitment to improve their lives and their community and thank you for the op…

Day 3 - Lessons from St Lucia

You must know who you are first though. Otherwise you will be told how to move, think, .... and you’ll perform solely for outside praise. Dr Crystal Jones

The Conference was filled with people in business attire, dark suits, pump heels, jackets and A Line skirts. I turn up in a bright purple and yellow suit, lots of colour. A new thing for me - Confessions on the Journey.
One lady said - you are- pause - colourful. I go into default feeling self conscious for about a minute, then I talked to myself about it
Self - how do you feel?
I love this outfit
I feel wonderful
Carry on smartly then.

I listen to the other presenters and place myself in the moment, to remember that everyone has a space at this event.

Just do you. Go there and be you, do the best in the moment and have fun.

The room was packed, the audience kept saying that they were looking forward to what I had to say, I felt the pressure of it all. I asked for this so that meant that I have all the tools required.
When we are given a dre…

Day 2 - Lessons from St Lucia

I feel a major reset coming - Ebonee Davis

I drove from the airport to the resort with Ian, the taxi driver. He seemed pleasant from jump, he was so proud of his island and talked about it with that same love and pride that made me smile. What a wonderful way to show up at one's job!

The traffic surprised me, I asked him about it, even that he was positive about as he mentioned that growth caused it but its all good
Seeing the daily lives of the people on the road, the hustle, the children walking from school, the after work traffic, I didn't even feel rushed,their bustle felt relaxed. We came off the main road and drove into the well manicured compound with large trees, cleaner sidewalks, newly paved roads, people in uniforms smiling and waving.
The compound is beautiful, an all inclusive resort is never one of my favourite places, it seems so sterile but that is my view, many people love the seclusion and ease of it all. So I am learning to be neutral about how I feel when I…

What is the Difference Between Value and Service?

You know a skill that’s underrated but super valuable? Storytelling. Ari

I'm en route to a speak at a Conference in St Lucia. I was asked today if I am being paid to speak at the Conference, I said no. That question was almost like a mirror to me reflecting what has been going through my mind over the past few days. Value and Service.
What is the difference between valuing oneself and providing a service to my community.
I would love to hear from you, let's share lessons and compare notes!


What Are You Saying?

In form, you are and will always be inferior to some, superior to others. In essence, you are neither inferior nor superior to anyone. True self-esteem and true humility arise out of that realization.

You will never experience the success, do the things you really want to do as long as you worry about it.
Chances are you are thinking in terms of what you do not have and cannot do. 
Your good cannot get to you if your mind is filled with lack.
You have no room for blessings if your words are laced with limitations.
You will not notice or be open to new experiences if you are stuck in old ones.
What you want may be totally new to you.
It may be beyond your highest expectation.
How can it get to you if you keep getting in the way?
It's time for you to move, realising the thing that you are seeking is also seeking you.

Look out for me at the CRCA Conference in St Lucia
Have you read any of Akosua's work? What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unc…

The small voice within is a guide

"Go out into the countryside and teach the Gospel", they said to him, "What will we say?" And his response to them was, "I'll tell you when you get there." Book of Thomas The small voice within is a guide, it tells us what to do and where to go, and it works particularly well when we ask, it works even better when we get still, when we pause. It's usually a small voice, sometimes a whisper, you will miss it if you are too "busy" if you are moving around too much, if you are drowning it out with excessive "noise". "Noise" can be judgement, drinking too much alcohol. working too much, toxic relationships, judgement and not taking responsibility for your actions, too much TV and Internet to keep you occupied. Noise can also be not being present and minding other people's business. To teach is to demonstrate, or the combination of demonstrating what you have paid attention to when the small voice speaks to you works …

Spend more time learning who you are

My advice: Spend more time learning who you are and what you want out of your intimate partnerships before jumping in and out of unfulfilling predicaments where your actions can hurt more people than you ever intended. Embrace honesty and be outspoken about what you need and what you refuse to settle for. If a monogamous relationship is what you seek, someone out there is willing and able to give you the things you want. Be patient. Don’t settle. And be true to yourself and honest with others. Feminista Jones

Friday night girls party, a few drinks, some comfort food and lots of talks and laughs, always a fun time. Until it gets serious, with these particular women. The serious bit usually leans towards why am I still single after getting divorced over 5 years ago. I usually smile and say right now the situation I am in is working for me
And if I am truly honest I really believe that it does. Its even so much more comfortable to just remain where I am at the present moment - single.

Dear November

Onward and upward. Growing and expanding. Deion Page

Dear November We meet again, I thank you now for coming around again for me to experience another one in this form. I thank you in advance for:
-safe journeys – courage  – letting go of what is not serving my growth  – fun  – reminding me that mistakes make masters & they are part of the journey  – to not beat up myself about them.  For reminding me that these dreams that have been downloaded from Source are there to bring to fruition.
I'm ready! Let's do this Peace

What Mask (s) Do I Wear?

What Mask(s) Do I wear? 
At home. . .  
At work. . .
In family relationships. . .
In intimate relationships. . .
In the world. . .
Iyanla Vanzant 
I was listening to one of my favourite truth tellers Iyanla Vanzant, she was talking about masks. What masks do we wear and why.  I thought it was in interesting question. Wearing a mask says that I don't want my real face to be seen. My true self to be seen, I want to show the world something else. The question is why Why would I not want to show people who I am to protect myself? If I want to protect myself it must feel that I am not protected. Why else do I feel to wear a mask, to put up a wall a wall that will not penetrate to hurt me Avoidance! There is in our minds benefits of wearing a mask.  We feel it helps us. Having listened to Iyanla, self reflection says to me that looking at the masks I wear and why is important in the life that I am living. What am I scared of? What am I hiding? What are the benefits? All valid questions Share…

The whole cannot be whole until everything is involved.

In order to love who you are, you can’t hate the experiences that shaped you
- Andrea Dykstra

One of the best lessons that I have learnt is that for everything and every experience we are either teaching or learning. The faster we get clear on which one is happening, the easier it becomes to navigate through this life of ours.

Acknowledgement and acceptance are two extremely important factors which help us gain that clarity.
As Iyanla Vanzant says "we have to call a thing a thing" so if we call a pig a bird and feed it bird food, the pig may either die or lose weight, it will not become a bird.

And so we have to face all the parts of us in moving forward, we not like it, we may not love it, facing it does not mean that we must. It is part of the ingredients that make us who we are, the flavour, the juice.

The whole cannot be whole until everything is involved.
Your experiences is not who you are. Your thoughts are not who you are. They play a part in determining how your life play…

It Takes A New Thought

What I have discovered is that some people unwittingly fight to retain ownership of the very limitations that  cause their suffering. Iyanla Vanzant

I know that I am in resistance when I am fighting to be right. When I am in defence mode. When I am making justifications, reasons and excuses. When I am not open to hearing a different point of view.

When I am getting hot around the ears, I start sucking my teeth, I know that I am in resistance mode.
When I know it is the truth.I get defensive. I don't want to be wrong.
Who wants to be wrong?
But no matter how much we get annoyed, deflect and blame, we have to take responsibility for our lives, we are the ones to make the change
I have started with being open to listening, then I move on to really being conscious of the thoughts that I entertain.
What we think determines how we act and how we feel
Being a slave to my thoughts - the negative ones are a set up for a life filled with repeating of old patterns.
We really do have to belie…

Love never runs out...

Love’s frequency is powerful. Every soul that I’ve connected with has came into my life unforced, through natural vibrations. The gravitational pull between two souls on love’s frequency is unmatched. Doesn’t matter the distance or location, those souls will connect. Boi McCoy

I give thanks for all the people who joined me on the journey at some point in my life. There are some who have gone on to their own path. I give thanks for them as well.
The struggle that came out of them leaving my life was me wanting to hang on to the relationship, the friendship, the past as it always was. The lesson was - do not water dead things!
If the love is there it matters not when the relationship changes, there will be no forcing, only flowing. Distance and time will not stop the flow
It has been a lesson that I have taken quite a while to learn
Love never runs out, it just changes form.
Look out for me at the CRCA Conference in St Lucia
Have you read any of Akosua'…

All is Always Well

The only thing I ever really know is that all is well. Melissa Infinity

Very often, we define ourselves by what we want or dream of.  Yet when our lives shape us differently we often think we have failed, that we are settling for less, because we weren’t good enough to become or have what we wanted.  Certainly, as we experience our limitations this sometimes feels true, yet even through our limitations we evolve rather than fail do not be afraid of evolution, it is the revolution of you
The truth is what we want or dream of doesn’t always last. It tends to serve its purpose in our evolution & then fades away, losing its relevance at that point in time on our journey & we do enormous damage to ourselves by insisting on carrying on what has in fact died I was fired as the Chief Financial Officer of a company & because being an accountant defined me as I worked damm hard at becoming a young & successful one, I literally lost my mind but more accurately, this evolution propelle…

Some Relationships Dissolve,Others Deepen

Your friends either go through this inner transformation with you or drift out of your life. Some relationships dissolve, others deepen. Eckart Tolle

I was having a conversation with a colleague yesterday about her weekend and a party she attended, which ended off with her saying that she had no friends to call anymore at short notice who will go partying with her.
Her statement got me to thinking.
Who would I call to go with me to a party at short notice or at all?
I came to realise that I have different people in my life for different times and reasons and when I attempt to force them into different boxes it causes me stress.
My party hearty friends - I love them to bits, I see them during Carnival time where we party like there is no tomorrow. When that time is over we go back to our lives and countries until Carnival rolls around again. Not to say that we don't keep in touch during the year but we know Carnival is our time.
My running buddies, I see them for the weekly Tuesday run…