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Showing posts from March, 2020

When you can't meet someone's expectations

When you can't meet someone's expectations, make sure they don't try to project their disappointment onto you. Their disappointment is not your responsibility, because it's their expectations, not yours. Persistent Observer

I have been thinking about the quote above for a few days and particularly the line "their disappointment in not your responsibility, because it's their expectations, not yours"
I thought about this from the point of view of placing my own expectations on others and being disappointed when they fall short.
Did I communicate these expectations, and clearly?
Did they agree to meet these expectations?
If they did not agree did I go ahead and still expect the same thing?

Disappointment is difficult, who likes not having what they want when they want?
I certainly don't.

But inside that feeling of disappointment there are some lessons, some nuggets.
Communication, Trust, Discipline, Flow are all being called to the fore.
The biggest lesson for me …

It is what it is.

When clarity comes, I hope you have the courage not to talk yourself out of what you know. It is what it is.Dr Thema

The signs were there. The actions were evident. The details seemed clear.

What is the fear? Why did you not make the decision that you knew was required?
You asked for clarity. You asked for an answer You asked for guidance But did you ask for courage?
What is the fear?
The unknown is scary. We just don't know! We want to know. We want details. We want next steps. We want a plan. We want facts. Facts can trip you up. Facts can change.
The question is do you trust yourself to be ok no matter what? I have learnt that the key into making a move into the unknown is trust of self. Look in the mirror, straight into your eyes until you can say it- straight no chaser - I trust you! Peace


Do You Know The Thoughts and Beliefs that No Longer Serve You?

Do You Know The Thoughts and Beliefs that No Longer Serve You? Iyanla Vanzant

Did I know, at the time that I read this, what were the thoughts and beliefs that no longer served me?
Confessions on the Journey -I had zero clue. I did not even consider that this question  would be one be of use to me.
What are the thoughts and beliefs that I held that no longer served me?
Was that even a thing though?
I was willing to give it some time so so I sat and thought about it .
This is what I came up with

Thoughts,beleifs and behaviours that no longer serve me:

1.  The belief and thought that I am unworthy especially in certain circles and certain places
2.  The belief and thought that I am not enough
3.  The thought and belief that I am unlovable
4.  The thought that I have to prove that I am smart, that being smart is intimidating to someone wanting an intimate relationship with me.
5. The thought that I must always be happy, cheerful, nice and make people feel comfortble who are around me even if they ac…

How are you transforming your energy?

To fully accept does not mean to fully agree with, but it means that you’ve not set up this resistance.  Then, within this acceptance, you have the power to make choices whether to agree -- be affected -- both -- or neither. Guru Singh 


I was upset that I was asked to leave the house. I was moaning, complaining,I was mad vex - that means beyond annoyed and not actually wanting to make sense. This went on for a bit. I felt justified in my mad vexation. 

I jumped into the car and as I was driving - in my pissed off state the car started wobbling, getting out of control. I immediately abandoned all feelings of mad vexation. Fear took over.
I managed to stop the car without hitting anything or harming anyone. As I stepped out I saw that they tyre has bust open and left me on the rim.

I stood there and said a short thank you for this blessing I have just received. I thought about the energy that I was carrying around. Energy cannot be destroyed it can only be transformed. We are so powerful th…

8 Lessons I Have Learnt in This New Time

Self-pity in its early stage is as snug as a feather mattress. Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable. - Maya Angelou

Everything happens for a reason, sometimes we may not know what it is- I believe that wholeheartedly. We put meaning on our experiences, most of the time assisgning the meaning based on the past. Many times the past can be a guide, however in a new moment, sometimes a new way has to be called upon. The entire world has been forced to adopt a new normal, I have added my own filter as to what it can do if looked at with a loving perspective.These are my thoughts
1) The playing field is now levelling more than ever. This new normal has demonstrated that at this moment we are all equal despite our job, calling, financial situation, fame. We all need the toilet paper, we all need connection, we all need food.We all crave connection.
2) Any evidence that you needed to be reminded that we are all connected and not even false borders can change that, it is here. What yo…

Affirm what is Good -

Affirm what is Good - Rev Deborah L Johnson


During this new time, chose to affirm the good.
Choose Love
Choose Prayer
Choose Kindness
Choose Compassion
Choose Supporting one another
Choose and Affirm what is good
We are all in this together

Peace


These Lessons Are Useful

you will not love everything you learn during this time, but you will need it... Joel Leon

Staying inside, staying put, staying calm can seem like a prison sentence. Like someone taking away your freedom.
Trust me, the feelings of being trapped can overwhelm us.
But trust me with this as well, we can shift our perspectives.
Sitting still has become uncomfortable in a fast paced world that rewards busyness, rewardshustle, making money and being seen at the most important and hip places.

I believe that we were becoming out of balance and a stern pull back was all that would work. We would have found ways to get back busy, to get back out of balance if it was not.

So ask yourself:
1. What am I learning?
2. How am I spending my time?
3. What makes me uncomfortable to sit still and why?

Peace
Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here? Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal
Follow Akosua on Twitter In…

Flow means you're responding to the cues of Life

GOING WITH THE FLOW IS RESPONSIVE, NOT PASSIVE.
It’s not New Age chillaxin’. It’s not about being a bystander—it’s very responsive. Flow is alert relaxation. You're responding to cues from Life. And the more conscious you are, the more subtle those cues can be, you don’t need a wake up call to get the signal, you don’t need to get waaay off course. You trust. And you listen and the Flow takes you riiiight where you’re meant to be. Danielle La Porte


In this time that we are now in where world travel has been put on pause, where places such as theatre's cinemas, concert halls are closed, where it is recommended that going outside is limited to getting food and essentials. How do you feel when someone says go with the flow
It seems as if nothing is happening, so what flow should I be going with?

The flow  here is responding to the cues of life where you are at the moment
You are not able to go outside as much as before, or at all - Flow with it, Feel what you feel, listen to your …

Make the Necessary Adjustments

allow things to come as they may and make the necessary adjustments. cirino

With our new normal of social distancing and self isolating, adjustments are necessary.
What are some of the activities and actions have you been doing since things have shifted?
What are some of your recommendations?
What are some of your lessons?

So far, the top lessons for me have been:

1. Doing something all the time does not mean that you are being useful and not doing anything all the time does not mean that you are useless

2. If we do not rest and reboot, the Universe will find a way for us to do so and it may be in ways we do not like.

3. We still have free will to use how we see fit.

4. Gratitude is still the great multiplier

5. How we feel is valid

6. There is nothing to fear

7. Be mindful of what you feed your mind, body and soul. Now and when things have calmed down.

Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are Yo…

Balance

go where your joy is. go where you face your fear. Olivia Jade


Joy and Pain are like sunshine and rain - Frankie Beverly and Maze sing in their seminal song.
The sun cannot shine all the time, nor can the rain fall. There must be a balance for us to survive.
Just as with where we are in life, as we move towards the joy, it is advisable to get curious about the fear. Get curious about it, ask the fear some questions, trust me you will be surprised at some of the responses received from being ready to face the fear.
In order for us to fully move forward, everything must be accepted, everything! The good and the not so good. This is not to say we may like it. We can accept that there is fear, not deny it.

In the upcoming weeks, there will be some fear given this new normal
Be curious about it. Don't dismiss it , dismissing it won't make it go away forever, it will only delay its return and its effects
Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the …

Faith Over Fear

Something much bigger, much more profound, is reshaping our lives right now. Carolyn Myss

The world has just changed as we  once knew it, whether you have accepted this or not, whether you believe it or not, whether it has affected you personally or not, the world  as we knew it has just changed.

A global shift has occured where the most healthy choice is to slow down, stay inside, to pay attention and to be present, to take care of yourself and your loved ones. Of course we can choose differently, however the consequences can literally be death.

How are you coping with this time of uncertainty?
We humans love to know what is coming next, we love to know the plan, the strategy, the next steps. We are always ready to make the next move and take advantage of the opportunitites. In fact, we are rewarded for this type of thinking.
This is now a total shift. Faith over Fear.
We just don't know what is coming next.
We can only plan in the moment and respond to events in the moment.

If this is n…

Let the Truth Exist...

darling, you feel heavy because you are too full of truth.
open your mouth more. let the truth exist somewhere other than inside your body. della hicks-wilson


How many truths exist inside of your body?

How many requests remain stuck in your throat?

How many denials have you made to yourself?

And why?

How many days have you missed?
How many nights have you been missing?
How many evenings have you given up?

And why?

Darling, this is your life, your monent, do yourself a favour and show up, speak up and keep your word to yourself!

Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here? Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal
Follow Akosua on Twitter Instagram Facebook

All Roads Lead to Self

Image
When you are truly self-aware of your true value, you won’t be defensive.

I have been conducting an experiment over the past few weeks.  The experiments has been  - I watch very closely how I respond to comments with which I share a different view. 
For the first few days, many of the responses were habitual. Reactive, no major thought put into them, just a response with little thought.

Now, that I have learnt that we are always creating through our thoughts, words and deeds, I know that my words have power, that what I say and think whether mindful or not creates something in my life. I have started paying attention.

I noticed when I would have  a defensive response - usually when I wanted validation or I wanted others to agree with me, or to prove them wrong.
We humans can justify any action and argue any point to get our own way - I have learnt from this exercise that there can be respect in differences and everyone doesn't have to agree with us. That external valiation is not alway…