What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

  When you deeply embrace change, letting go becomes much easier. The thicker the ego, the more likely the individual is to believe that their way is always the right way. Control is often a manifestation of old hurt and trauma.  The deepest healing and delight arises from letting go. Yung Pueblo 1.  Letting go of habits require willingness, commitment, strength and strength of will. Then you go through purification and withdrawal, which is uncomfortable. You have to want to result more than you are afraid of the discomfort. 2.  Letting go is far more peaceful than doggedly clinging, trust more empowering than resistance. 3. One has to develop rituals for letting go. It takes practice and commitment  4. O ur liberation depends upon our ability to release and let go of anything that does not serve us.  5  Practising letting go reduces unhealthy craving and acting on unhealthy cravings.  6.  Moving on does require letting go. But letting go requires something, too. It requires acceptanc

  Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment.” – From   A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose, Eckhart Tolle All of the spiritual and life teachers remind us that not only does life love us, it also gives us the experiences that we need to grow, heal and evolve. The challenge is many times we resist what is in front of us for many different reasons. Life is not personal and it bodes well not to take things personal, we can become intimately involved in many areas that life throws up - this is where the evolution of our consciousness comes in. Joy, Happiness, Abundance, Pain, Hurt, Heartbreak - you name it - they are all not personal however we all experience it and when we do it becomes intimate to us. What I have learnt is:  1. Asking "why me" is a waste of time - disempowers me. Ask - what can I learn? What

Discomfort is what happens when we are on the precipice of change. Briana Wiest Sometimes I’m sure of everything. At my worst, I come across as righteous. At my best, I'm anchored & in my power. Sometimes I’m sure of nothing. At my worst it comes across as insecure. At my best, I’m open to many perspectives & possibilities. We all ride a fine line between sure & unsure. Between doubt & confidence.  Between self-assured & lacking confidence.  Some days I dip into the doubt more than others. Some days I’m moving with complete & unwavering self belief. Knowing that you don’t know what will happen, but knowing yourself enough to move forward anyways...that’s being sure.  You may not always be all 150% percent about yourself. That doesn’t mean that you can’t still move confidently ahead. There are days I feel VERY unsure about my ability to do things, but yet I still believe that I will learn. I reflect, often, to remind myself to keep going, even when I feel anx

 "People treat people the way they feel about themselves. How we experience the way people treat us has to do with the shadow elements of how we feel about ourselves" Dene Logan People treat people the way they feel about themselves - This my friends, blew me away this morning, I have heard different versions of this statement before, for some reason, this time around it resonated in a whole other way! Now I can safely understand why it makes no sense to take things personal and make people's actions about you. The second part of the statement is what really stood out for me, how we experience the way people treat us has to do with the shadow elements of how we feel about ourselves- So, where in the shadows lurking is a feeling of unworthiness, not enoughness, and fear? I had to ask myself this question. and be very open and honest about the response. The powerful thing about being open and honest with acceptance is now I can make a change. Somewhere inside of me I belie

  Love Liberates - Maya Angelou  I have had some relationships in my life, let me tell you! I strongly believed that I was in love and in a healthy relationship. I can safely say now that I was not in love nor was I in a healthy relationship, particularly in my marriage.  So what did I learn about love and relationships? 1. What Maya Angelou says resonates - Love liberates, you feel free, light, even in the tough times 2. Love does not control, demand, be inflexible and manipulate 3. Wanting our own way all the time does not help 4. As Lauryn Hill says, respect is the minimum - no respect, no healthy relationship 5. Lies - well what can I say here? Anything draped with lies never turn out well- don't tell them and don't accept them 6. Neglecting responsibilities or self-care to take care of the other person when they are not ill, it mainly due to fear of losing them, is definitely a red flag  7. Do not settle! And the biggest lesson of all has been to love and value myself. Thi

  When we control, we want to be sure that something is going to happen a certain way; we want and need to know the outcome - Genny Rumancik Feeling safe is important to all of us, whether we are on the streets, in a community, in a job, in a relationship, we want to feel safe, we want to be in situations where we trust the process. When there is no feelings of trust and safety, we move towards control. As with everything when there is no balance everything falls down. There are so many times that we are safe, we must trust yet we fight for control There are times when we are in situations where the only thing that we can control is our response to it. Yet we persevere in wanting to control everything about a situation. I have learnt that having an idea of what is actually in my control supports a less stressful existence, letting go of the illusion of control supports being in the moment, learning new ways of being and trusting Self.  I have also learnt that it takes practice to let

  A dear friend of mine said to me today that I am not really good at having difficult conversations. When I first heard it I thought really? I thought I was good at it! then I paused and did some self inventory and she was absolutely right!  I sat down with that for a minute - As a recovering people pleaser, difficult conversations are tough for me, I am just learning how to advocate for myself, to stop giving all of me to the point of diminishing my self to "let people like me and "in the name of peace"  What I have learned is when one comes from a background of chaos and confusion at home, they do what it takes to "keep the peace" I continued to do that as I grew into  being an an adult. I now have the tools to communicate how I feel and there is more independence on my part, I can walk away, I can make choices that are for my best interest, they are no longer my primary care givers. I no longer have to be "liked" so that I will not be "left&q

So the next time you feel the pressure of “standards for a good life”, push back. Don’t accept it. Pause and ask if that’s what really matters, or what really matters to you. Because in the moments that nobody sees, we often see ourselves.  Maxi McCoy   So many of us are taught that the best, the right, and sometimes the only way to live is to follow a particular formula. A life well lived must include: 1.  The "correct" amount in your bank account 2. Live in a particular area - the correct community based on property values, security, access  3. A  respectable job title 4.  The right mate 5. The brands that they wear 6. The number of followers 7. Where holidays are taken So what happens to the people who choose to or just do not follow that formula? Are they not considered successful?  What do you place your value on? What for you is a life well lived? What about the kindness you display to Self and others? How is that measured and values? Is that something that is importan

  The ego struggles against change because it reveals that control is rarely possible and at a deeper level change reveals that the ego itself is ultimately insubstantial. When you deeply embrace change, letting go becomes much easier. The thicker the ego, the more likely the individual is to believe that their way is always the right way. Control is often a manifestation of old hurt and trauma. The deepest healing and delight arises from letting go. Yung Pueblo When we want the things we want, how we want it, when we want it, letting go becomes a challenge When we want to control the outcome down the last raisin, letting go becomes a challenge When we want to succeed at all costs, letting go can become a challenge When we have a point to prove, letting go can become a challenge  Trust me, I have been there. I want to fix, I want to act, I want results. Isn't that what makes us create the live that we desire? Well.... What I have learnt is that control is an illusion and holding o