What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

  Being game for your own challenges, realizing you’re equal to the tasks life sets before you, is enormously empowering. Carolyn Myss  Develop a relationship with yourself -  you are always with you, might as well know who you are, your likes and dislikes, your joy's and triggers Respect yourself to know who you are in my relationship with my self I want to honor myself, to identify and stop contributing to my suffering. Are you aware of yourself? Do you respect yourself? Do you value yourself? Do you honor yourself and your worth? Do you love yourself? Begin within Akosua's Books Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here? Now What? The Flipside What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditiona

 you can work and work to get it, you may not be able to keep it, or your life may not transform by having it because the consciousness that obtains sustains - Reverend Deborah  I heard something today that blew my mind : "if you get something by lying and cheating, you will lie and cheat to keep it. If you get something because you believe you do not deserve it, more than likely you will always be afraid of losing it." Why did that resonate with me?  There was a time in my life that I was almost in disbelief how my life was and the way that it looked for a very long time - I thought that I was perhaps lucky and undeserving. I was by all standards making it - material possessions, travel, relationships - all the trappings of "success"  During my late teens,  I was what others would call  nerdy and chubby. I really liked this guy who was an athlete, smart, popular, with so many admirers. We managed to get to talking and fast forward we got married - I was so afraid

  The ego gives us a rigid sense of self and wants others to perceive us a certain way. The ego struggles to appreciate differences in opinions and views. One common cause of inner conflict is when someone close to us is making choices that we would not make ourselves. Our initial impulse is to want them to think and act like us . Yung Pueblo  This definition of ego  by Yung Pueblo resonated with me deeply  - Confessions on the Journey - this is how my ego shows up especially in intimate relationships! Seeing this here is a game changer for me to: 1. Let go of rigidity. 2. Let of of the perception that people MUST be a certain way. 3. Appreciate differences and be curious about them. 4. Let others make their choices and I make mine. 5. Stop looking to convince others that there is only the one way I chose to be, act, do, think. I recognize that this change will take not just a shift in mindset, but also a consistent recognition of the how I show up with intention and flexibility. A pra

  All the hard conversations, boundaries, and self-reflection will keep challenging you because you're not quite sure how to do it all yet! And as you do it more and more, it will get easier because you will get stronger! You will build the skills! You just gotta keep going. You gotta keep choosing ! Mark Groves  I was listening to on of my favorite spoken word artist - The Floacist. She was giving her take on "life's tests" and similarly to Iyanla Vazant, another one of the wise teachers that I learn from, she was of the view that we cannot fail.  Each time a "test" comes we gain some knowledge and it adds up, is useful and can be used for the next life "test". We don't lose the "points" and have to start from zero. We also have a lifetime in which to learn and master these lessons. I resonated with this perspective because it suggests that returning tests, not only can I handle it, once I pay attention, I have an opportunity to use

Shadow work is designed to help you integrate and accept every single part of yourself so that you can live and thrive with more clarity and authenticity. Elizabeth Perry    I was reading today on  the shadow self and what resonated with me was the notion that there are all parts of us that we either are not too fond of or that we hide because we are not ready to deal with for whatever reason. When we reject parts of ourselves, we cannot be whole, authentic or at peace. When we embrace all part of us we can grow and be at peace. According to Jung, all of us have a shadow self and It is generally made up of the parts of ourselves we deem unacceptable. For many people this means things like our sadness, rage, laziness, and cruelty. But you might also see as uncivilized and unacceptable things like your personal power, your independence, or your emotional sensitivity. According to Andrea M Darcy of the Harley Clinic Although we might want to see our shadow as ‘negative’, this is not true.

 There are questions to which answers may not exist. There are answers that just create mire questions, solutions that can only be made from having lived something out, having seen it through - Briana Wiest  April please remind me to look at things differently - to at least be willing to look at every situation from another perspective Different perspectives to "losing": 1. A clearing 2. An answered prayer 3. A rebirth 4. A wake up call 5. A blessing in disguise 6. A portal to something else 7.  A long needed breakthrough 8. A time to surrender 9. A time to accept 10. An opportunity to change course, to course correct 11. A becoming 12. A healing 13. Divine Guidance and protection 14. A second chance 15. Freedom Peace and Blessings Akosua's Books Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here? Now What? The Flipside What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

How many of us could live in our audacity? How many Black women live with gall? Karen M Rose   I have been reading up on the connection between our health, the thoughts we think and how we live. One of the biggest lessons I have learnt is how fear and anger that has not been expressed finds its way into our bodies and turns into ailments, dis-ease and allergies.  One of the biggest illusions that keep up stuck is fear. If your fear could talk, if your fear had a voice what would it say to you? How would it sound?  It is absolutely essential that we know what our fear sounds like, what our fear tells us.  When fear starts talking ,we can identify the sounds, the words, the phrases  and take the required action rather than listen to it and remain paralyzed. My fear says to me:- 1.You cannot do that! 2. People will laugh at you, talk about you and call you names. 3. You are a fraud. 4. What if you fail? 5. Stay quiet, say nothing, you have nothing to say that can add to this. 6. How dare

What you do consistently comes to be characteristic of you. Not what you think, feel or even fear, but what you choose. Briana Weist Consistency is a quality that  I consistently work on (pardon the pun) With some self reflection, I realized that I needed consistency growing up in an inconsistent environment which included moving multiple times. Feeling safe around people is also important for me, when those close to me are consistent in their words and deeds.  As an adult, I have made it a point to live a life of consistency and discipline - I feel safe, I feel in control, I feel comfortable. The challenge, as with everything, is when what we do is out of balance and out of alignment. When there is little or no consistency in my life, from people around me - it triggers me (confessions on the Journey). What I have learnt is when I recognize the triggers, there is a choice in how I respond.  I must pause and ask  am I safe? Am I acting out from my childhood wounds? What is the choice

Signs you might be in a pattern of self-betrayal include saying “yes” when you want to say “no,” self-sabotaging, ignoring basic needs and self-care, lying to yourself, not taking accountability for your actions, and pretending to be something other than your authentic self.  Dr Megan Johnson How many of you can relate to this? - A feeling appears deep within our bodies, our gut, that knowing and it is either not making logical sense, it is hard to act on it, making that decision will lead to a drastic change in our lives - and we convince ourselves to ignore, dismiss, deny, justify not taking it seriously. Then one day life puts you in a situation where you cannot ignore the feeling, the change, the decision to be made. It becomes a jolt, maybe even an "emergency" and we say to ourselves" I just knew" or "something told me"  This, I have learnt, is ignoring, denying, dismissing and justifying not acting on that guidance is us betraying ourselves. The less

  Your life is the feedback that lets you know what you are thinking and feeling - Iyanla Vanzant  Hello lovies I wanted to share a piece that I read from Lisa Olivera that resonated with me. I have felt myself emerging from something - what? I am not sure - reading this piece allowed me to not only recognise that there are others feeling a similar type of way, but it is okay to feel the feelings and go through the process. I hope that something jumps out at you as well Happy Reading Not all parts of you will be ready to emerge at once. Some parts of you need to stay tucked away for awhile, cozy and waiting until it’s their time. You don’t need to rush the parts of you who aren’t there yet. The parts of you who are ready can usher the rest of you outward when the time comes… and it will come. Being fully seen by others might bring rejection. They might leave. Your core fears might come true. Yet what resides within you is a depth of okayness that no one can take from you, whether or n

 You don’t remove self-doubt. You learn to act despite it . Mark Manson Over the past few days I have taken the time to look squarely in the face of all the doubts that I have been walking around with.  There are times when doubt comes up. When its a new task, when we want to do the task well, when we believe that we have much riding on it, where we don't want to fail. And on the flip side when we feel unworthy it comes up even more. I have learnt that that to not let doubt fool you, to use it as a tool, to act on it and learn as you go. I am learning to act despite the doubt with: 1. Speaking in public 2. Being vulnerable 3. Asking for what I want. 4. Having hard conversations 5. Giving up the need to be liked.  Doubt thrives by making up worse case scenarios. When we ask ourselves "what is the worst that can happen?" and "what am I denying myself of?" we can start taking action. Peace and Blessings Akosua

  We all want to project something to the world, but if we're not happy within ourselves we’ll just create short and hurt people along the way because we can’t share happiness, just the dissatisfaction within ourselves Sadguru Worthiness is not earned, proven, bought or bargained - you were born worthy. Simply, you just are. Worthiness reflects in your life the moment you recognize and believe that you are born worthy. When we believe that we are worthy, we behave that way - we become mindful of what we do and how we be. We release the defensiveness, we set boundaries and allow others to live their own lives minus judgements. Achievements build self confidence, not self worth. You cannot outperform your self worth. You can achieve worldly and material success, however if you do  not believe that you are worthy, there will always be an unhealthy striving for more at the expense of your health, your relationships, your peace of mind Self worth is the foundation. According to ACIM,  

  A person who is not accountable to anything is a danger to themselves and others - Iyanla Vanzant  I was listening to a podcast last week with Iyanla Vanzant, she spoke about holding yourself accountable. What does that mean and how do you hold yourself accountable to anything or anyone? What is that thing that says I have to raise my game, I have to show myself and others respect, I must be disciplined? Do you have anything that guides you to that place? Some use religion and spirituality Some use honoring their family Some use their children Iyanla in her conversation talked about how her grandmother swept floors, and cleaned toilets so that she and her brother could eat and go to school - she holds herself accountable to the memory of that and would not dishonor her grandmother by "wasting" her life. Holding yourself accountable I have interpreted as doing your best in the moment, it means recognizing and remembering that there are Universal laws and principles that guid

  I know some of you are in the cocoon stage right now. You don’t want to do small talk. You’re craving time at home. And you might be thinking: “What’s wrong with me?” The answer is: nothing. You’re on the path to healing.   Dr Nicole LePera I have been in a cocoon for a few months! So this is what it was. Dr LePera has described what I have been  feeling and experiencing.  Being in this cocoon stage looks like spending time in stillness, it looks like meditating, journaling, like not being busy, like setting boundaries with no guilt, it looks like less mindless scrolling on social media, it looks like spending time on the beach, by rivers, in the forest. Its an uncomfortable time, it may involve losing some friends, upsetting family who cannot understand the choice to spend time in silence and stillness. If you are constantly busy, on the move and get validation from externa sources being still, silent and spending time alone, this shift will feel different. What I have learnt is: 1.

  When you demand the love and approval of others, you make them into your Source, into your God — and where is the possible sense of happiness in that, dear one? Why would we ever have even placed Source so far outside your own heart, so far outside your own being? Elizabeth Gilbert Today I bumped into someone I believed I would be friends with forever, in fact, more than friends. As I ran into that person, it dawned on me that we are not even on speaking terms. My belly flipped, I felt a rush of emotions come to me. Anger, Sadness, Disappointment, Resentment, Wonder. How does one go from being so close to not even wanting to speak or acknowledge each other? Or maybe I can use a lesson I learnt in the Course of Miracles - I am willing to see this differently. Perhaps the time has passed to be friends, the time while being friends was beautiful, I learnt a lot about myself. It's just a new time now. Perhaps now its about setting boundaries, making room for new friends and new exper

But I trust the discomfort will eventually turn into something else — that it is taking me somewhere important. I trust the gentle path. I trust each impossibly slow step. Discomfort can be a doorway . Lisa Olivera  Having to face and sit through discomfort has never been fun for me. I don't know about you; for me, there is resistance. I love easy and sameness - its called when consistency is out of balance.  What I have learnt is life's experiences include uncomfortable situations, anything that is new, different, important to you, out of the ordinary involves moving through, sitting in and passing through some level of discomfort.. Guaranteed to meet you on the other side is something new, something different, something magical. Things that were once uncomfortable for me that I now do: 1. An early morning run - just the thought of running arrggg - Now I love it, I feel like I have accomplished something every time I wake up early and run, even if I run for ten minutes , I fe

  Love requires our courage—the courage to let go of our fear of not being enough. It asks us to step into the unknown and risk everything for the chance to experience something truly extraordinary . Alex Elle February is the love month, in any which way you turn there is something about love and Valentines and romance. Confessions on the Journey - I have willed myself to love, to be loved and to BE love. Its still in process. Growing up I believed love was only for  romantic settings and romance. I also believed that  one would be lucky to have that type of love in their lives. As I grew older, I thought, if love is what I am seeing around me then hell no, I want no part of it. Healthy relationships were few and far between in my world. So, that combination of believing love was just for romance, and not seeing many healthy versions of it, I became quite skeptical about this thing called love. I started reading books, magazines, learning about it. I vowed to myself I will "love d

  Divine design is more than we can fathom - Deborah Johnson Over the past few months, nature has been a healer, a balm of sorts for me. Even in the magnificence of it all there is a simplicity that is unmatched. Entwined in the perfection is a level of imperfection In between the order there is chaos. Just like me, similar to how I live The greatest lesson has been that I am nature so that waterfall beautifully crafted by the Most High from an idea is the same as me- I am idea crafted and realized from the mind of the Most High. There are times I would be angry - like waves crashing heavy and hard There are times I would be calm - when the river meets the sea in a dance  There are times when the winds will shift and move everything in its wake.  There are times when there will delightful colours and beaty Nothing remains the same, we change and that is AOK. no matter what is what is going on. No matter the circumstances, there is a power in the Universe that transcends it all. In tha

Self Value - how you see and hold yourself within yourself that determines what you do and how you do it - Iyanla Vanant  One of the most important lessons I learned in 2023 has been how I see myself determines what I accept from others and what I am willing to accept. This revelation made so much sense that when I got it, I was literally clapping and on my feet shouting!  I get it, I get it.   I viewed myself as less than in those relationships - no wonder it turned out the way it did. Basically , I believed that the relationships that I  entered was a step up for me, rather than looking at it from a place of equity. I thought wow, I am so lucky, I am able to be in this union. Everything went off balance  because of those beliefs.  When we see ourselves as less than, we accept less, we want to fix and change what is in front of us, we want to justify nonsense and we do not ask for what we need and want because of the fear of being abandoned and left- Who Knew? Once I realized that thi

Our God and higher self always point the best and most perfect way and it is ours to listen and choose or reject what we hear. God does not blame, but patiently tries again to show the, perfect way, the loving way. 105 Universal Laws Many people may not believe this and I can confess that I also had my doubts, we do get guidance from within. Divine Guidance. Its quiet, its not fussy, its patient and its uncompromising. This guidance  keeps telling us, showing us, loving us, prompting us, without being over bearing. Free will allows us to choose whether we take it or leave it. When you consistently feel drained after talking to someone? - Guidance for boundaries When the joy of the job, relationship, hobby is waning - Guidance to pay attention. When your belly flips crossing the street - guidance that a car may be coming or to be careful as you go. There are so many times that I have heard this guidance talking to me, that I have asked for it and yet, because I don't like the answe

“ Like sunflowers, no matter where they are planted turn towards the sun, I too began turning in the direction that nourished me. ”  ― Lalah Delia, Vibrate Higher Daily: Live Your Power On a  Sunday I hike,  I do a fairly easy one, I have been doing this almost every Sunday during 2023. Apart from it being a form of exercise, it served me as a method of healing. The ability to be a part of nature, to just be, to see the magnificence of how things change at a river weekly puts my mind at ease. It reminds me that change is not as scary as it appears in my mind.  The opportunity to be in a quiet space has been life saving.  I  have come to know the trail like the back of my hand. That became comforting. Yesterday, as I walked on the trail , I realized that I was in an unfamiliar place, how did I get here? I wondered. I started a mini panic. The monkeys seemed to be howling louder than usual, the grass seemed thicker, the path just different. I made a wrong turn on a familiar path. Has tha

  Attending  to your consciousness is your business and so is attending to your conscience  Carolyn Myss February creeped up on me, I looked up and there it was - February. No complaints here, time does its thing and leaves it up to us to do ours. And so I welcome this month with the intention of   paying attention to my words and my word, I intend to stand on them. Words are powerful.  Words create, they shape what we do and how we act.  Words have power and you decide and assign what words you use.  Words shape the quality of your life.    For February, I intend to be intentional with my word, to stand on my word, the keep the agreements that I make and make agreements that I can keep. What does it mean to you to give your word and keep it?  Everything you stand for is contained in the words you speak and the word you give both to Self and others. I want to create my life intentionally and if words form part of the creation of life, I will practice to use them with purpose and on pur