What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

  The ego craves a static existence because it thinks that this is the only path to security, but the greatest security we can cultivate is the release of attachments that comes from our acceptance of change. Yung Pueblo   Change is inevitable. Yet, when faced with uncertainty, our ego protests, gripping tightly to what is familiar. It is often cast as the antagonist in our personal growth journey—an obstacle to overcome. But what if, instead of waging war against it, we learned to work with our ego? This is the question I have been asking myself over the past few days. Drastic changes are coming into my life,  how I make a living is up for change, the location where I work will be up for change and this impacts so many other areas of my life. Come Monday evening, the life I lead will change ...again Change is scary for me because there is a certain amount of risk and uncertainty. I love consistency, I love to keep it simple. I have now learnt that I cannot run from the c...

  "Self-loyalty doesn't wait for permission. It asks to be chosen." – Stacey Herrera There was a time when I struggled to choose myself. Spending a dime on anything that felt indulgent or unnecessary led to a chorus of guilt in my head. “Why bother?” I’d tell myself. “You don’t need it. There are better things to focus on—other people to care for.” Buying a gift for a close friend or surprising a family member felt natural. But when it came to treating myself, I hesitated. Looking back, I realize that those decisions weren’t about practicality. They were about the deep-seated need to be seen and appreciated by others. My actions were driven by a desire to earn love and approval, all while betraying the one person who needed me the most: me. The Quiet Betrayal Self-betrayal is subtle at first. It’s skipping the book you’ve been dying to read because there are chores to finish. It’s saying “yes” to plans you’d rather skip because you don’t want to disappoint anyone. It’s...

"Acceptance is tomorrow. Even if the pain is still there, you realize it may always be, and somehow, that’s okay.” Briana Wiest  Acceptance is a choice—a choice made when all other options have been considered and exhausted. It is the act of recognizing the end of a particular path and moving forward with grace and humility. Acceptance is not about forgetting or erasing the past; rather, it is about acknowledging it, learning from it, and preparing for the new journey ahead. Acceptance is looking in the mirror – looking in your eyes with love and compassion and gently asking you to move in a different direction – this road has ended baby, you are at the end of it and there is absolutely no turning back, it is not a failure, it is a fork in the road. Fear not, whatever it is ahead will embrace you will all the lessons, feelings and memories that you come with. I believed acceptance was a forgetting to move on but that only made the process harder, forgetting years of my life, ...

  “ There are the big things, the sweeping changes, the necessary systemic shifts that will take generations. Yes. And also, there are the day-to-day, moment-to-moment choices we make.” – Lisa Olivera We often think of transformation as something massive—an overhaul, a leap, a bold declaration. But real change, the kind that lasts, often begins in the smallest of moments. It happens in the choices we make when no one is watching, in the seemingly insignificant decisions that quietly shape our habits, our identity, and ultimately, our lives. The Choices That Move Us Forward Every day, we have opportunities to align with the life we want to live. Here are a few choices that help us create the shifts we seek: Choosing Presence Over Distraction – Instead of mindlessly scrolling, we pause. We engage in meaningful conversations. We notice the world around us. Committing to Small Acts of Care – Drinking water. Moving our bodies. Resting when needed. The small choices to care for oursel...

Self-abandonment doesn't announce itself. It slides in disguised as tension in your shoulders. As conversations where you leave yourself out — Stacey Herrera    Have you ever noticed how exhaustion settles into your bones long before you realize you’ve neglected yourself? How conversations flow where you nod and agree but never truly share your own thoughts? Self-abandonment is rarely loud. It doesn’t knock on the door and demand your attention—it creeps in quietly, disguised as obligations, people-pleasing, and the slow erosion of boundaries.   Recognizing the Subtle Signs Self-abandonment wears many masks:   - Saying "yes" when you long to say "no."   - Shrugging off discomfort in relationships to keep the peace.   - Silencing your voice out of fear of judgment.   - Putting your needs last under the guise of responsibility.   - Harsh self-criticism that drowns out self-compassion.   Over time, these patter...

Our healing is our responsibility.   When we root ourselves in the belief that what is meant for us cannot be taken away, we liberate ourselves from unnecessary fear and comparison, changing the narrative starts with intentionality—remembering who we are and the goals that anchor us Showing up authentically requires walking the talk—not just speaking our truths but living them. It demands self-awareness and self-reflection, because transformation begins from within, shaped by the way we respond to challenges and opportunities. Recently, someone shared with me the perspective that women are their own worst enemies. I’ve never experienced this, nor do I share that view. That narrative needs to shift. It begins with us—how we show up, how we behave, what we accept, and what we refuse to tolerate. When we engage in thoughtful collaboration and mutual respect, we dismantle stereotypes and rewrite the stories often imposed upon us. Change starts at the personal level, but its ripple...

  I think that's—what I've learned about [rage] is that  it's an energy that is always trying to teach us how to pay attention to aspects of our emotional lives that have often been neglected or violated or what-have-you . Ruth King  Rage—the fiery emotion we’re so quick to suppress, hide, or judge—is often misunderstood. Many of us have been conditioned to view rage as inherently destructive or unwelcome. We blame ourselves for feeling it, or we avoid it altogether, burying it deep where we hope it won't surface. But what if rage isn't the enemy? What if, instead of rejecting it, we could learn to approach rage as a teacher, a creator, and even a healer? This morning, as I walked along the beach, the sea mirrored this volatile yet profound emotion. The waves raged and crashed upon the shore, wild and unapologetic. But before engaging with this stormy sea, I paused—a moment of reflection before stepping into its unpredictable embrace. I noticed that the usual rhy...

  Popularity isn’t always true power.  Money isn’t always success.  Experience does not guarantee wisdom.  Question it all . Danielle La Porte Our minds are powerful storytellers. They narrate our fears, doubts, and insecurities with such conviction that we often mistake these thoughts for truth. But here’s the thing:   just because you think it doesn’t mean it’s real. Most of us live on autopilot, letting our unchecked thoughts dictate our emotions, decisions, and actions. We react instead of respond. We shrink instead of rise. Why? Because we forget one crucial truth: You Are Not Your Mind—You’re Its Observer Your mind is a tool—a relentless, opinionated, sometimes irrational tool. But  you  are the one holding it. The moment you realize this, everything changes. How Your Thoughts Shape Your Reality Fixed Mindset Thought:   "I failed. I’m just not good at this."  →  Action:  Gives up. Curious Mindset Thought:   "What did this...

  Create.  Create in a variety of ways. Create every day. Creativity is the speedboat that skims you across the waves of powerlessness, despair, denial, and fear. Creativity is a powerful portal into wholeness.  Hiro Boga We live in an era of endless self-help content. There are books, podcasts, retreats, and TikTok videos all preaching the same message: "Love yourself!" But here’s the hard truth—no amount of consuming self-love content will ever replace actually doing the work. Loving yourself isn’t just about affirmations in the mirror or journaling your feelings (though those can help). Real self-love is action. It’s showing up for yourself when it’s easier not to. It’s making the tough choices today so your future self thanks you. I have learnt that Self-Love Looks Like: ✔  Taking the first step —even if it’s small. The gym, the business idea, the better eating habits—none of it happens without action. ✔  Watching your self-talk —and changing it when it’s cr...