What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

  "When your safety once depended on being useful, agreeable, or invisible, you internalized harmful ideas, like: 'Don’t rock the boat.' 'Be grateful for any opportunity.' 'Give your best without expecting anything in return." — Dr. Mariel Burque   This quote stopped me in my tracks. Not because it was new information, but because it voiced an inner dialogue I’ve wrestled with for years.   As I transitioned into speaking, coaching, and providing online courses, the opportunities came fast. I found myself on TV interviews, podcasts, speaking panels—sharing my expertise with eager audiences. It felt like momentum. It felt validating. But something was missing.   While my calendar filled up, my bank account remained stagnant. The responses were familiar: "There’s no budget for speakers."  "It’s great exposure." And at first, I accepted it. Exposure was currency, or so I thought. Until the moment I asked myself—"what now?"   The F...

Over the weekend, I had the profound honor of witnessing and participating in a truly transformative experience—a Rite of Passage retreat with the inspiring young women of the Nina Young Women's Leadership Program. For the first time since leaving State care, these incredible ladies spent the night away, surrounded by the beauty of Tobago, embracing a journey of self-discovery and empowerment.   The retreat centered around *Roots and Wings*—a conversation about claiming our strengths and designing our flight paths. We explored what it means to stand firmly in our personal power and how to create a future shaped by intention and courage. We spoke of *Personal Hero stories*, reflecting on resilience, identity, and the narratives we choose to author for ourselves.   Beyond words, the weekend was an embodiment of freedom and connection. We walked horses to the ocean and stepped into the water with them, a moment symbolic of trust and surrender to the tides of change. We ...

You must learn to let your conscious decisions dictate your day - not your fears or impulses - Brianna Wiest Routine. The word alone tends to conjure images of monotony, predictability, and the opposite of spontaneity—the very things we’re told make up a “good life.” But what if the beauty of routine isn’t found in rigid repetition, but in the consistency of our commitment to it? What if our routines aren’t confining, but instead, liberating? Brianna Wiest once wrote, “Your habits create your mood, and your mood is a filter through which you experience your life.” That single thought has stayed with me, reshaping how I view the patterns I follow, the rhythms I create, and the impact they have on my mind, body, and spirit. My Routine, My Compass For me, routine is a sanctuary. I meditate daily, allowing silence to hold space for my thoughts. Three times a week, I lace up my gloves and let boxing teach me discipline through movement. Every Saturday, the ocean calls me, and I answer—letti...

Devotion begins at home, inside your own awareness .  Debbie Ford Growing up, the word “devotion” carried a very specific meaning—church services, prayers, scripture reading, and acts of faith performed in a church setting. It was structured, expected, and outwardly expressed. But as my  life unfolded, I learnt that  devotion is something far deeper and more intimate than physically going to a church to sit, pray, sing and praise. Devotion is the choice to be in full relationship with our own incarnation. It is the willingness to meet ourselves in every season, every lesson, every transformation. It is staying present—not just when life is clear and expansive, but also in moments of stillness, confusion, and contraction. To be devoted is to surrender—not in weakness, but in strength. It is the conscious decision to trust the unfolding, to listen to the inner guidance that calls us toward our soul’s purpose, and to accept life as it is, knowing that whatever comes, we will...

  "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." – Wayne Dyer How I  see the world is shaped has been shaped by my experiences and mindset at any given moment. But what I have been learning lately is that sometimes  life calls for us to shift that perspective—to see beyond our current beliefs and expand into new ways of thinking. It’s never easy, and it often comes at a cost. Growth doesn’t just challenge our own inner narratives—it challenges the expectations others have for us. When we evolve, some people will resist, insisting, “You’ve changed,” as if change is a betrayal rather than a natural part of life. Some will see our transformation as an act of superiority rather than self-discovery. And that can be hard. But staying the same simply to keep others comfortable isn’t growth—it’s stagnation. And sometimes, the price of evolution is releasing relationships, expectations, and old versions of ourselves that no longer align with who we ...

Even people who have done great work on themselves will not be able to show up as the best version of themselves every hour of every single day . Stacey Hererra  Yesterday, I set out on a hike with one goal in mind: reaching the waterfall. I was prepared, determined, and excited. Step by step, I made my way up the trail, pushing through fatigue and undulating terrain. And then, near the top, just shy of the falls, I stopped. The rocks were slippery. I was alone. I considered taking the final steps but hesitated. Was I willing to take the risk? I sat there, surrounded by nature’s beauty, yet filled with disappointment. I judged myself—harshly. Thoughts of failure crept in: I should have pushed through. I should have made it. But then, something shifted. I looked around and saw the breathtaking view from where I was. I realized that there was beauty in this moment, too. My journey still mattered, even if I didn’t reach the final destination. Sometimes, arriving at a certain point and...

  This life holds so much. May we hold ourselves and each other gently. And may the miracles keep revealing themselves; may we keep finding them amid it all .  Lisa Olivera  Life, like a river, is ever-changing—never the same from one moment to the next. As we navigate the currents of uncertainty, we are invited to embrace the process of learning and unlearning, becoming and unbecoming, facing and feeling. It is not always easy. The water can be choppy, disorienting, overwhelming. Yet, just as a river has banks to lean on and rails to guide its flow, so too do we have sources of steadiness to turn to in times of transition. Over the past few years, I have witnessed this continuous ebb and flow—through jobs, relationships, and friendships that have mirrored back to me the undeniable truth that change is inevitable. The movement of the river does not stop for our doubts or fears. It finds its way around the rocks we place in its path: stubbornness, hesitation, resistance. A...

Make yourself a door through which to be hospitable, even to the stranger in you. Even to the one who still questions if you’ll ever feel okay, the one who still finds it hard to let okayness in when it’s here, the one who still needs your very own hand to hold it.  Lisa Olivera For years, I’ve asked myself the same haunting question: Is this enough? Am I enough? What is enough? It followed me through every challenge, every heartbreak, every moment that forced change upon me. Losing a job— Am I enough? Divorce— Am I enough? Rejection, new beginnings, stepping into the unknown— Am I enough? Every time I searched for the answer outside of myself, I ended up right back where I started. Exhausted. Worn down, Questioning my worth. Trying to prove something that was never in question to begin with. Enoughness isn’t found in achievement. It’s not measured by approval or success. It doesn’t live in external validation. It is, and always has been, within me. I was born enough. So, today...

We tend to think of intuition as a tool for answering practical questions: Should I take this job? Is this the right decision? We frame it as if it serves the rational world. But intuition is not a rational skill. When you treat it as one, you’re already misunderstanding it. Intuition is, in truth, a mystical capacity—one that calls for a different kind of listening, a different kind of knowing . Carolynn Myss  Carolyn Myss once said, "The only way to hold onto something is to give it a false value." This quote hit me differently when I realized how much I had been clinging to comfort—attaching meaning to people, places, and things in ways that kept me from moving forward.  I had been hesitant to do the work, stuck in doubt and fear, ignoring my intuition. But life has a way of pushing us forward, whether we're ready or not. Now, I find myself in a place where I must change: I must find another source of income. I must elevate the Nina program. I must grow. We hold onto t...

  My love, do not be overwhelmed by all that there is to do. Stay with me, grounded in stillness and faith, and listen for my voice the way you just listened for the guidance of the tree, and you will be told exactly where I need you to go, what I need you to do, who I need you to help, how I need you to show up in service. Elizabeth Gilbert  There are moments in life when the ground beneath us shifts so dramatically that we have no choice but to stop, take stock, and recalibrate. Over the past few weeks, I have found myself in that very space—navigating change, uncertainty, and the weight of risk. The transition in government has meant the loss of a steady income, and yet, in this void, new opportunities have emerged. A program that I once designed continues to grow, drawing wonderful, familiar souls back into my orbit. The possibilities are exciting, the vision expansive—but the risks feel just as immense. And here is my truth: I feel out of my depth. There is no handbook fo...

  May has crept upon me, softly but steadily. It has arrived with the weight of passing time—a reminder that goals set in eager anticipation months ago now stand in front of me, waiting. Some are achieved, others still in progress. And there are moments when I feel time slipping, my breath tightening with the fear of falling behind. But life, in its infinite wisdom, always finds a way to show us where we are, nudging us to be present—especially when we forget. This month, I remind myself: We all carry within us the intangible, yet unwavering, qualities of discipline, courage, love, and divinity. They are not distant ideals reserved for a select few; they are built into us, waiting to be summoned. In moments of doubt, resilience is within reach. In moments of hesitation, courage is at our core. When life’s currents pull us away from remembrance, the divine spark within waits to be rediscovered. The true challenge is not in possessing these qualities, but in believing they are ours t...