What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Self-abandonment doesn't announce itself. It slides in disguised as tension in your shoulders. As conversations where you leave yourself out — Stacey Herrera    Have you ever noticed how exhaustion settles into your bones long before you realize you’ve neglected yourself? How conversations flow where you nod and agree but never truly share your own thoughts? Self-abandonment is rarely loud. It doesn’t knock on the door and demand your attention—it creeps in quietly, disguised as obligations, people-pleasing, and the slow erosion of boundaries.   Recognizing the Subtle Signs Self-abandonment wears many masks:   - Saying "yes" when you long to say "no."   - Shrugging off discomfort in relationships to keep the peace.   - Silencing your voice out of fear of judgment.   - Putting your needs last under the guise of responsibility.   - Harsh self-criticism that drowns out self-compassion.   Over time, these patter...

Our healing is our responsibility.   When we root ourselves in the belief that what is meant for us cannot be taken away, we liberate ourselves from unnecessary fear and comparison, changing the narrative starts with intentionality—remembering who we are and the goals that anchor us Showing up authentically requires walking the talk—not just speaking our truths but living them. It demands self-awareness and self-reflection, because transformation begins from within, shaped by the way we respond to challenges and opportunities. Recently, someone shared with me the perspective that women are their own worst enemies. I’ve never experienced this, nor do I share that view. That narrative needs to shift. It begins with us—how we show up, how we behave, what we accept, and what we refuse to tolerate. When we engage in thoughtful collaboration and mutual respect, we dismantle stereotypes and rewrite the stories often imposed upon us. Change starts at the personal level, but its ripple...

  I think that's—what I've learned about [rage] is that  it's an energy that is always trying to teach us how to pay attention to aspects of our emotional lives that have often been neglected or violated or what-have-you . Ruth King  Rage—the fiery emotion we’re so quick to suppress, hide, or judge—is often misunderstood. Many of us have been conditioned to view rage as inherently destructive or unwelcome. We blame ourselves for feeling it, or we avoid it altogether, burying it deep where we hope it won't surface. But what if rage isn't the enemy? What if, instead of rejecting it, we could learn to approach rage as a teacher, a creator, and even a healer? This morning, as I walked along the beach, the sea mirrored this volatile yet profound emotion. The waves raged and crashed upon the shore, wild and unapologetic. But before engaging with this stormy sea, I paused—a moment of reflection before stepping into its unpredictable embrace. I noticed that the usual rhy...

  Popularity isn’t always true power.  Money isn’t always success.  Experience does not guarantee wisdom.  Question it all . Danielle La Porte Our minds are powerful storytellers. They narrate our fears, doubts, and insecurities with such conviction that we often mistake these thoughts for truth. But here’s the thing:   just because you think it doesn’t mean it’s real. Most of us live on autopilot, letting our unchecked thoughts dictate our emotions, decisions, and actions. We react instead of respond. We shrink instead of rise. Why? Because we forget one crucial truth: You Are Not Your Mind—You’re Its Observer Your mind is a tool—a relentless, opinionated, sometimes irrational tool. But  you  are the one holding it. The moment you realize this, everything changes. How Your Thoughts Shape Your Reality Fixed Mindset Thought:   "I failed. I’m just not good at this."  →  Action:  Gives up. Curious Mindset Thought:   "What did this...

  Create.  Create in a variety of ways. Create every day. Creativity is the speedboat that skims you across the waves of powerlessness, despair, denial, and fear. Creativity is a powerful portal into wholeness.  Hiro Boga We live in an era of endless self-help content. There are books, podcasts, retreats, and TikTok videos all preaching the same message: "Love yourself!" But here’s the hard truth—no amount of consuming self-love content will ever replace actually doing the work. Loving yourself isn’t just about affirmations in the mirror or journaling your feelings (though those can help). Real self-love is action. It’s showing up for yourself when it’s easier not to. It’s making the tough choices today so your future self thanks you. I have learnt that Self-Love Looks Like: ✔  Taking the first step —even if it’s small. The gym, the business idea, the better eating habits—none of it happens without action. ✔  Watching your self-talk —and changing it when it’s cr...

  "Life is not always tidy. It’s full of unexpected twists, tangled emotions, and unforeseen hurdles. But within the chaos lies the magic—the chance to grow, adapt, and discover resilience we didn’t know we had." It’s a comforting thought, isn’t it? That a happy life is one free of problems. That if we’re good, kind, and follow the unwritten “rules” of decency, life will reward us with smooth sailing. I certainly grew up p believing this, holding tight to the notion that challenges are mere inconveniences, avoidable with enough status, power, or wealth. But life, unpredictable and untamed, doesn’t work that way. I learnt this the hard way. I, was sold on the formula: be good, be nice, and you’ll be spared heartbreak and drama. I thought that being a good person was the ultimate antidote to life’s troubles. But life, in its infinite wisdom, taught me otherwise. It taught me that experiences cannot be skipped, no matter how carefully we try to outmaneuver them. And honestly? Th...

Letting go actually decreases self-centeredness and allows love to come forward much more unconditionally and with greater strength Yung Pueblo    I  learned the true meaning of radical acceptance after what I considered the biggest betrayal of my life. It wasn’t just about the act itself—it was the shattering of trust,  and the painful realization that some things cannot be undone. For a long time, I wrestled with the why. Why did they do it? Why didn’t I see it coming? Why couldn’t they just choose differently? I exhausted myself trying to understand, to negotiate, to fix what was never mine to fix. Radical Acceptance Was the First Step Radical acceptance wasn’t passive resignation—it was the conscious decision to stop fighting reality. I had to accept: I could not change them. Their choices, their actions, their justifications—none of it was within my control. I had ignored red flags. There was no shame in admitting that; it simply meant I had trusted when I shoul...

There are some things that you just can’t buy an immediate solution for, and you simply have to accept the long journey in front of you. The aspects of life that require slow work are usually things that will bring you the greatest sense of fulfillment. Seeing your effort create new results is an incredible feeling. Yung Pueblo  In a world full of distractions and endless possibilities, the key to success often lies in one simple principle: consistency. As the quote so beautifully puts it, “It is your consistency that focuses your energy towards making your aim come true.” This is a powerful reminder that it is through consistent effort, day in and day out, that we build the foundation for achieving our dreams. But what does consistency really mean in the context of personal growth and inner work? Consistency as the Bridge to Your Vision Consistency is more than just a habit—it's the backbone of progress. Whether you're striving for a better version of yourself or chasing a sp...

  When you know of a thing, all that you know is locked in place in your mind . Mama Bello I was listening to Carolyn Myss talk about power. Her perspective was that there is so much power in humility, and humble is not being poor and not having a place. I listened to how she described a humble person and it literally brought tears to my eyes and want to live a life of humility. Call me humble because this is my standard to now live by  The most protected person in the world is also the most humble, and humility makes someone nearly impervious to the tricks of darkness. Why is that? Because a humble person desires nothing that doesn't rightfully belong to them. They are untempted by fleeting, material possessions, and their sense of worth isn't rooted in insecurity. In fact, humility and insecurity cannot coexist. A humble person has no fear of judgment and understands their own boundaries—they know what they don't want or need. They aren't dependent on external validat...

  By entering into the silence, acknowledging divine substance, affirming his faith in and oneness with it, man becomes conscious of substance .Law of Metaphysics  Every year, like clockwork, the streets of Trinidad and Tobago come alive with the pulsating rhythms of soca, the vibrant colors of costumes, and the infectious energy of Carnival. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a part of this celebration, losing myself in the music, the laughter, and the sheer joy of it all. But this year, I decided to do something radically different. Instead of joining the revelry, I chose silence. No music, no phone, no distractions—just me and my thoughts for two whole days. What I discovered was both challenging and transformative. I’ll admit, the decision didn’t come easily. Carnival is more than just a festival; ever since I have known myself, Carnival has been a part of my life, whether it was playing mas, going to fetes, joining in the Panorama.  Two years ago I took a trip...

This is one of the most profound lessons that I have learnt from reading A Course in Miracles. My intention is to embody and remember this for the month of March and beyond Let's go! Come Journey with me.   There is a deep responsibility you owe yourself, and one you must learn to remember all the time. ²The lesson may seem hard at first, but you will learn to love it when you realize that it is true and is but a tribute to your power. You who have sought and found littleness, remember this: Every decision you make stems from what you think you are, and represents the value that you put upon yourself. Believe the little can content you, and by limiting yourself you will not be satisfied. For your function is not little, and it is only by finding your function and fulfilling it that you can escape from littleness.  Work with Akosua as your dedicated accountability partner to move forward with confidence. (Sign up Below)  Embrace Your Journey of Transformation with Akosua D...

  What happens to our sense of self when we’re only valued for what we can produce? What happens to our sense of self when our value is tied solely to what we can do, rather than who we are?  For me, it started at a young age, rewarded for doing my homework, scolded for playing too much. Having to hide to play with my imaginary friend who I named Penelope.  As I grew up homework turned into good grades, steady job, being a productive person, not being lazy - the bottom line was in the proving that I was doing and what I did could be validated, that it was good, that it brought no shame on Self and family. What seemed acceptable to the society that could be measured and valued. These are the markers of a "valuable" person in this society that we now live. When our value is reduced to a checklist of tasks, our souls begin to wither, imagination is placed on the back burner . This is the silent crisis of modern life—a crisis that erodes our self-worth, distorts our iden...

  We carry our constraints in our bodies — the shoulds, the what-ifs, half-truths, and watered-down desires. But the body remembers —EVERYTHING. How to expand. How to reach. How to take up space. Stacey Herrera  This quote stopped me in my tracks. It’s a reminder of how often we shrink ourselves, how we internalize the weight of expectations, doubts, and fears until they become part of us. These constraints live in our bodies — in the tension in our shoulders, the shallow breaths we take, the way we fold ourselves smaller to fit into spaces that were never meant to contain us. We carry the shoulds: the voices that tell us who we’re supposed to be, what we’re supposed to want, how we’re supposed to show up in the world. We carry the what-ifs: the paralyzing fear of failure, of judgment, of not being enough. We carry the half-truths: the stories we tell ourselves about our limitations, our worth, our potential. And we carry the watered-down desires: the dreams we’ve muted becaus...

This or something Better is my praye r - Michael B Beckwith    We live in a world that constantly tells us to set goals, make plans, and strive for specific outcomes. While ambition and effort are valuable, an excessive attachment to results can often lead to stress, disappointment, and self-doubt. Instead of fixating on a single outcome, what if we focused on the journey itself? What if we embraced the idea of doing our best and allowing the rest to unfold as it will? Today as I sat to set my intention for the day, I thought about living today without attachment to any specific outcome, to only focus on doing the work to the best of my ability and leaving the rest. There have been so many situations where I was SURE about how something would have unfolded, then there were times when I placed every part of my being in receiving a specific result and things happening a certain way. When it did not happen, I was devastated - imagine that I was even devastated when the situation ...

we forget that growth starts long before it’s visible. Growth starts underground. At the root system. And “all of a sudden” happens after months of invisible work, deep rest, and contemplation . Dr Robin   In a world that often celebrates saying “yes” to every opportunity, there’s an underestimated power in knowing when to say “no.” True empowerment doesn’t come from pleasing everyone or overextending ourselves; it comes from understanding our boundaries and honoring them unapologetically. Power isn’t just about influence or authority. It’s about having the clarity and courage to define what you will and will not tolerate. It’s about safeguarding your mental and emotional well-being. When you know your boundaries, you reclaim your time, energy, and self-respect. The Cost of Ignoring Boundaries When we constantly say “yes” out of obligation or fear of disappointing others, we slowly chip away at our own strength. We become overwhelmed, exhausted, and sometimes even re...

  Let ordinary move you. Let ordinary pull you in as much as the big, booming things. Thoroughly enjoy a green olive. Two green lights in a row. A living room dance party. A good view of the moon. And maybe let yourself be boring sometimes. Let ordinary remind you of what really matters. Danielle La Porte  This morning, as I walked to the boxing gym, earplugs in, lost in the rhythm of my  soca classics playlist, I looked up, and there it was—the most magnificent full moon, hanging in the sky like a luminous masterpiece. It was so breathtaking, so awe-inspiring, that I literally screamed in delight. The moon wasn’t just lighting up the sky; it was lighting up *me*. In that moment, I felt an overwhelming sense of connection—to the universe, to myself, and to the beauty of simply being alive. The full moon has always held a special significance across cultures and time. It’s a symbol of completion, clarity, and illumination. But this morning, it wasn’t just a celestial event...

  The next time change feels uncomfortable, ask yourself: Am I resisting because I’m afraid, or because I’m attached to what was? Awareness is the first step. Life is full of uncertainties, but two things are guaranteed—change and death. Everything else is fluid, unpredictable, and fleeting. For a long time, I resisted this truth. I held on tightly to people, places, and phases of life, wishing things could stay just as they were. But life doesn’t work that way. The more we resist change, the more we suffer. The moment we learn to surrender and flow with it, we find peace. We like to believe we have control over our lives, but the reality is, we don’t—not in the way we think. We can set goals, make plans, and try to shape our future, but life has its own rhythm. Unexpected events happen, people come and go, and even we, ourselves, change in ways we never anticipated.  The truth is, control is an illusion. The tighter we grip, the more we struggle. But when we release that grip...