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Monday, 28 July 2014

Be a star player in the game of life!

I forgive myself for judging myself so harshly.  I forgive myself, for not fully utilizing and maximizing the grace of time, talent and skill that has been gifted into my hands. I forgive myself for playing small and not stepping up as a star player in the game of life. Inner Visions Worldwide

I was asked to be a feature speaker at an event in Princes Town of Friday, a public speaking and poetry competition for the young people in the area. I still get humbled and nervous when people ask me to do the talk! I didn't ask many questions about the event, sometimes that gets me more nervous! I asked the venue, I am from the South of the island and have an idea of the town but its not an intimate knowledge so when I get there I see the event is on the Promenade, which is the equivalent of the town square! The middle of the town, chairs and chairs, a huge stage OMG!  Well here you go Miss Akosua, some call me Yaki! I always wanted an opportunity like this, well here it is! So I pulled myself together, show up and shine, let it go! I left the prepared speech in the car! I had to talk! I just had to get it from the heart! Went down really well so lesson number one, speak always from the heart!
So as I come off the stage, I sat to listen to the young people make their presentations and they call me up on the stage to present the prize to the winner. As I approached the stage an older gentleman stopped me " Listen I am so upset and vex with you that you wrote that book" Now I'm startled! "Excuse me?" "Yes, why did you write that book?" before I could respond he said " You never took men's feelings into the picture, you painted a bad picture of the man, men have feelings as well" I'm thinking now oh boy how do I handle this? I said well I wrote the book because I wanted to tell an empowering story to heal me and heal anyone who read it, I wanted to be a demonstration of what is possible by doing the soul work and telling the truth. He said listen I am not convinced and I am still mad at you, let's hope that you have matured since then. I smiled, I thanked him for his feedback and was about to walk on to the stage, I turned around" sir out of curiosity did you read the entire book?" "Yes I did" "Ok so maybe you were not that pissed off then?" and I kept a steppin!
So lesson number two, not everyone will like your work, and be gracious in how you handle it!
It bothered me for about an hour though but I managed to let it go!
What can you be gracious under pressure about?


Friday, 25 July 2014

How do you express your very essence?

You see, unless you create a cause with your natural energy through expression, you cannot have an effect. Your energy is expressed or invested and the yield is your return in the form of visible supply. How do you express your energy? Your very Essence? John Randolph Rice

These days I have been reading John Randolph work a whole lot, he has some radical ideas about abundance and abundance consciousness and its really resonating with me as I learn more about allowing abundance into my life and into my mind! This morning as I was reading it I was thinking about how much we block our own blessings by the way we speak, think, and who we choose to surround ourselves with, and I started paying attention to me and my triggers! Its really sobering when you face yourself and at the same time its exciting because I get to learn new lessons and apply them to this one and only wonderful life that I was gifted with!
Today I was asked to be a feature speaker at a youth symposium in Princes Town, this is a town in the south of the island about one and a half hours from the capital. They are having their annual emancipation celebrations and asked me to come down and celebrate it with them! I am both excited and nervous yet grateful that I am given such a responsibility to influence young minds! So I'm ready, suit up, show up and let it go I say!!
Will let you know how it goes!

Thursday, 24 July 2014

Ten thousand flowers bloom

"Out of yesterday's rejection, onward to a new perfection, from a fire came a feel, from that feel we made the steel!  So now we children now have a form so very Trinbagonian of course! Out of a muddy pond, ten thousand flowers bloomed" David Rudder

The adventure continued yesterday, I met an old buddy of mine, known her forever, but really have to make the time to hang out with her a little more while I am In the country. We decided to go to an event just on the spot called the Unconquered series. Its a set of talks held on different topics! No clue what was about to happen!
The thing turned out just what I needed after having a day like yesterday! This young man from one of the "hot spots" in the country ( the new term for a ghetto in T&T) sought refuge from the ghetto in a pan yard. A pan yard is a place where steel pan is learnt and played. Back in the day playing the steel pan was frowned upon and considered an absolute waste of time! He loved the music and would escape from his life in there and what this young man did is use the music of steel pan to conduct music therapy! He took us through what he would do in a music therapy session and my buddy got involved by having an instrument and playing it while he made some comments etc. It was so good to see how out from a muddy pond, ten thousand flowers bloomed! The guy is of service, doing what he loves and making his path clearer and making the country a better place!
What a nice way to spend the evening!
Put things well into perspective
Love to see how people pave a path and love learning from them
What kind of path are you paving?

Wednesday, 23 July 2014

Make room for the new

You cannot hold onto the old all the while
declaring that you want something new.
The old will defy the new;
the old will deny the new;
the old will decry the new.

There is only one way to bring in the new.
You must make room for it Neale Donald Walsh

So yesterday I was talking about adventure, and just how the Universe responds I have been having an adventure of a day! Woke up as normal did my meditation and journal writing and was about to write the blog and the electricity was gone! I started getting flashbacks of Kampala! I called the company, they told me that I was cut for non payment of my bill! What?? But I paid the bill last week through online banking! Sorry but you did not pay the current bill. But I haven't received the bill! Sorry but if you have any queries you can take it up with the customer service department in St James! I stood there feeling like a dummy! Ok this ought to not happen again, especially since my house has turned into a pit stop on a couple of people's journey!  So I vowed, this is the first, last and never again time! I get to the electricity company and they were sympathetic to my plight but I had to pay the balance of the bill and reconnection fee. Still feeling like I failed myself I went by my favourite nuts man- the guy who sells raw nuts in Port of Spain, he dishes out some nice nuts as well as some insightful commentary! I ask for my nuts and in his usual tone "Aye babygirl, what's going on with you today, like something on your mind" Wow! I love my nuts man! I told him like I have been making some choices that aren't the best ones! What do you mean he asked! So as we stood there talking I was listening to him, in between it all he said, "baby girl, you have to speak up for yourself, you have to not be afraid of what other people think of you, be respectful but stop hotting up your head, take a discount on these nuts and go home" LOL!
I love learning, you just never know where the lessons come from!

Tuesday, 22 July 2014

Put some real adventure into it...

Don’t settle for a day that’s just like the day before. Make the decision and make the effort to put some real adventure in it. Ralph Marston

This morning I was meditating, and just as I was done I walked outside to watch the rain and this question popped into my head and would not leave me ever since
"What is the meaning maker in your life?" Confessions on the journey, I have no idea what this question is asking me! "What is the meaning maker in your life?"
I think I better go and meditate some more! LOL!

What gives my life meaning? I think right now the answer to that is knowing that I am living an authentic life and taking whatever lessons that I have learnt and sharing it in my own authentic way, some people it will resonate with and some it won't and I am pretty ok with that!

What gives my life meaning is knowing that I am honouring the responsibility that I have to those who came before me and being proud of having the ability to do that!

What gives my life meaning is that I am moving daily to a place of unconditionally loving and accepting myself and living that truth
What gives my life meaning is doing what I want to do, rather than what society believes I ought to be doing!
These were my initial thoughts
Every day I wake up and give thanks because a day is such a wonderful mystery, no matter how much I plan and map it out things happen that excite and wow me every single day bar none! So I live from the knowledge that everyday is an adventure and I get to be in a daily adventure and that is super awesome!

What is the meaning maker in your life?

Monday, 21 July 2014


Cultivate a longer view of time: Forget 'getting somewhere in a year', build your life's work. Chela Davidson

One more book signing under my belt, brutally honest, every time I do one of these I'm sooooo nervous! So I tried something new this time I read from the book! Never did a reading in the past 5 that I have done and just as I predicted, started to cry! OMG! I was crying and I cry ugly, lips quivering, nose running the works!!! I kept telling myself get it together, get it together! I managed to pull it off but boy oh boy I had to pull out all the lessons! Don't judge yourself, be you, be compassionate to yourself!

I had a really good time despite the ugly cry! The crowd was brilliant! Two old work colleagues showed up and that topped it off for me! I haven't seen one of them in years and I kept promising to see her and it never happened! She looked great! mellow and calm compared to last time we met! Always had a soft spot for her!
The staff at the library was awesome!!!  I am really so grateful to be able to do this, do what I love!
On to the next one!!!


Friday, 18 July 2014

Book signing and reading tomorrow....

What you stop doing is just as important to your success as what you start doing

Planning moves ahead swiftly for Saturday, this is the first time that I will be without my crew who handles everything and my mother is also out of the country!
I saw yesterday all the hard work that they do behind the scenes to ensure that each event runs smooth! I went to the planning meeting yesterday and was like wow! I give thanks to my crew big time! So new experience, getting a stand in team, learning about the logistics and then showing up and showing out! I'm ready, I'm excited and I am grateful

So my question to you is, how many people behind the scenes contribute to you and your show, making it awesome? Your "show" can be your job, your home life, an event. How many times have you taken for granted the team? You just show up?
The importance and the value of the backup singers in the show is immense! Lesson learnt!


Come down if you can!!

Thursday, 17 July 2014

Wake up and Live

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality. Wake Up and Live!"

- Bob Marley, iconic musician
Working on a book signing event for this upcoming Saturday at the National Library of Trinidad and Tobago, who graciously invited me to come and spend the time with them reading and talking about my journey!
I am truly grateful for the opportunity
So as I am going through the planning, I lend a friend of mine my car, with some hesitation I might add , as this friend got into an accident with my car before and that was that! Anyways, I get a message, the friend has had another accident! I'm like "no way" ok ok what's the lesson here? I am still processing it!
I'm happy that my friend was not hurt, I am happy that everyone is alive, I am confused as hell now on what the lessons are in this scenario because truth be told this is not the second time but the third time! Same person! Obviously its no to borrowing the car but there is another lesson in there that I am going to sit still today to determine what it is! Focusing now on solutions!
So if you see me blazing down your road in a busted up car, that's why!

Tuesday, 15 July 2014

Don't chase ideals

One of my friends told me that I was being harsh and inflexible on a particular issue! When he said it I was struck silent! Why? because he was right! I have been silently being a passive aggressive coward not saying anything and acting out by being harsh and inflexible! I said wow, you know what? you are right! He responded, please girlfriend you are only human! Don't even beat up on yourself!

Don't chase ideals: Whatever perfection you see out there isn't real. In everything there is pain because in everything there is change and when there is change, there's longing, attachment and loss. 
Chela Davidson

I was at first ashamed to have acted like such a jerk but at the same time I was proud to not take a defensive position and cuss his tail out!!

Have you ever been there? Where someone tells you something and you know that you know that they are right? Then you have to decide, ok how do I respond? notice I said respond and not react? Responding is an empowered choice, reacting is usually not!

So I own it and take responsibility for my actions and learn that being defensive is usually the ego wanting to take over!!