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Friday, 29 July 2016

Attachment is a way of saying I don't have any faith in anything else.

I know what this is
I can handle this
Attachment reflects a lack of faith in your ability to learn Iyanla

The best thing for me about travelling is learning to let go
Things change at a moment's notice
The focus is now, the focus is living in the moment, the focus is faith in what comes next because it is usually unpredictable
Sometimes it may be as simple as seeing something in a store that you need. The decision must be made right there and then as you may never see the store again or the item again
Human beings are creatures of habit, it's safe, it's comfortable, it makes us believe that we are in control, like we are moving ahead and making things happen
Newsflash - making noise, screaming at people, projection and ego decisions are not "making things happen"
And so the lesson is not only living in the moment but having faith that making a decision with the best of intentions will always be the best one in the moment
I have been practicing the art of surrender, of letting go when I have done the work and put in the effort, people call me courageous or brave, I am just paying attention and having faith, we all can do it

Thursday, 28 July 2016

I will figure it out

I will figure it out – that may mean waiting patiently for the answer to come, turning tirelessly over every stone.It may mean praying until you sweat.
I will figure it out – if you declare you will figure it out the possibilities are endless.You will figure it out – you are the only one who can  Danielle La Porte

I am in figure it out mode - There are so many pieces and nuggets of advice coming from all sides, I know for sure many of them are coming from a place of love. I also learnt that since my life is my responsibility I have to make the decision, do the work and stand the consequences and that ultimately means that it really is up to me to decide. People seem to have difficulty in accepting that when one makes a decision that is different to what they have suggested and want it does not always mean disrespect, or being dismissive and God forbid, not valueing their opinion
Your life is YOUR life and the consequences for your choices are yours, also, people's personalities are also different shaped by their beliefs and past experiences
I frustrate a lot of people, the ones who want it NOW, the ones who speak loudly, the ones who are "assertive" the ones who are flash dressers, the ones who are climbing the corporate ladder, hell even sometimes the meat eaters
I am now comfortable with the fact that I cannot please everyone and to stop trying to
Just figure it out
No harm in asking for opinions
Or listening to them
but in the end the choice is mine, and so are the consequences
I also learnt that if you haven't done it, and I haven't asked you for your opinion, I don't really want to know

Wednesday, 27 July 2016

TedX Port of Spain - October 6th 2016

Honor where you're at. Are you pushing for the right reasons? Or retreating for your best interest? Know wherever you are is exactly where you're supposed to be.

Listen, today was a dream come true
Check this out
Give thanks

Tuesday, 26 July 2016

We don't adequately think an issue through

We don't adequately think an issue through; we let fear rule a decision. digging ourselves an even deeper hole than the one we're already in; we fail to connect deeply with people and situations around us, leading to all manner of negative results Marianne Willamson

When I make a decision based on fear, it backfires, shit hits fan - no exception! work, love, play, any category.
And what exactly is fear in my case? When love is absent, when the ego is raging, when I am out to prove something or someone wrong or prove myself right, when I forget who I am and start acting needy, and I think my worth is established by what other people think and not by God

So, I made a promise to myself not to concsiously  get involved with someone, either through face to face contact or technology- why?  I just felt that given the experiences that I had with this person I felt that,  I was not  a priority - a friend, in a way that I defined friendship. Really nice person though and the thing is, their  interpretation of our friendship may be totally different to mine.  And that is okay
We don't usually get to tell people how to love us, what we get is the opportunity to choose if we want that type of loving, we get to choose if we want to be around it. Don't bother trying to change people - that usually doesn't end very well.
I know now that my feelings are my responsibility, I cannot or I will not, hold anyone responsible for how I am feeling, the feelings are mine.
And so I did the whole delete all contact, distracted myself when the urge arose to chat, you know how we do it?
Yesterday I relented and seriously, nothing feels worse to me than going back on my own word when I did not renegotiate it in advance.
I contacted the person
I did it out of fear
And it was a bad idea
Do things in love, discipline yourself to do things that are self loving and self honoring, take the time to forgive yourself when you go off course
It will get better
All things are lessons that God will have us learn
and all things are for good

Monday, 25 July 2016

Day 10 - Why Are You Here in NYC - The Book Tour

Everyone has dreams. There’s not a single human on this earth who doesn’t wish for something. There’s not a single child who doesn't have a wild wish for the future. And there’s not a woman reading this who doesn’t hold some kind of dream close to her heart. Every single one of us has a wonderful contribution to make in this lifetime. We all have a calling. Maxie Mc Coy

The tour has come to an end, I'm preparing to head back to base. It's been an awesome ten days, I will always remember them. 
My top five lessons were
1. My comfort zone is where I rest, not where I live - be prepared to jump out of the zone ever so often, see what is there and know it will be okay in the end
2. I can't do this alone - and I will not ever want to - the support was tremendous especially when I let it flow
3. Flexibility is essential - my way is not the only way or the best way - and leave room for surprises - in other words, don't be a control freak
4. Believe in myself - just believe - or who's gonna?
5. Do your best in the moment 

To the Book Tour.....

Saturday, 23 July 2016

Day 9 - Why Are You Here in NYC - The Book Tour

There's no guarantee that everything will turn out exactly
the way you want it to, but there IS a guarantee that it
cannot possibly do so if you are afraid to even take the chance.NDW

I took Friday evening off to chillax. It's been a full on week. I went to the MOCADA Museum, spent some time with my aunt at the first full solar powered restaurant in NYC. I also met a friend in Manhattan we had dinner then walked around like kids gaping at the lights on the sky scrapers and people watching
Balance - how important is balance and how do you define balance?
I think it is a case of including into the mix activities that inspire you, activities that bring you joy, activities that connect you with like minded people, activities that get you still.
That is my definition of balance
And the old saying all work and no play....
that's real

Friday, 22 July 2016

Day 8 - Why Are You Here in NYC - The Book Tour

You will know you are being controlled by a memory if you insist on doing a certain thing in a certain way, because you are convinced your reason for doing it is right. You can be pretty sure you are being controlled by a memory when you interpret the things you see or hear in ways that cause you anger, fear or resentment. When a memory of something you have forgotten is controlling your life, you will say things that are not true, you will do things that are not productive, you will hear things that are not said, you will see things that are not there. You will respond in ways that are inappropriate and out of character. In these cases, your soul is calling out for healing.
What was going on THEN will continue to happen NOW as long as you forget to remember it. A repressed memory will push itself into your consciousness to be healed. It will stand up until it receives the attention and recognition it deserves. Everything you have experienced deserves to be honored and embraced. Yes, some things also need to be healed. Until you are willing to remember the things you have learned to forget, you cannot participate in or benefit from the joys of healing your life. Iyanla Vanzant

The Brooklyn Library was a great gig, I was pleasantly surprised they brought a class to share lessons on the journey - the room was packed, standing room only. It was streaming live things looked rosy
Just before that I was frustrated as hell, I fell down the stairs in the library, cut and briused my hand, couldn't get the projector to work, the person to take pics couldn't because their battery was spent, I breathed out and said okay, things can only get better!
As I picked myself off the stairs, on the verge of tears, I walked in the room, full house!! one lady asked me if we were ok for seats she had a few more people she wanted to join! Thank you Universe
To top it off my cousins surprised me and showed up and was standing at the back, haven't seen them in years!
Confessions on the journey time - I'm tired! I really want to lay down for a day and sleep- Sunday for that!! The show must go on until then. So grateful for these experiences, so grateful for the people who show up and support, so grateful that I get an opportunity to share my stories and have fun while doing it. the gratitude will help me through until Sunday night!
Until then
To the Book Tour

Thursday, 21 July 2016

Day 7 Why Are You Here in NYC? - The Book Tour

Commit to small, daily actions. They build into big ones. Everyday actions lead to the large leaps. And they help build our foundation for confidence Maxie Mc Coy

Word up Bookstore in Spanish Harlem - a wonderful space, run totally by volunteers and a community centre of sort. A totally welcoming spot. I shared the stage with a young upcoming author called SapoDilla, we read from our books and discussed topics such as authenticity, purpose and telling an empowering story, I had fun doing it

What was the lesson? No matter where I am, I am supposed to be there, it may not look like I want it to look but have faith and trust the process that life is communicating to you at that very moment and my responsibility is to listen and choose.

Today I'm at the Brooklyn Library Grand Army Plaza
To the Book Tour

Wednesday, 20 July 2016

Day 6 - Why Are You Here in NYC - The Book Tour

Expect discomfort. If you want your call to be easy, you’ll never answer it. Know that you have what it takes to handle the discomfort with grace. Never interpret discomfort as anything other than a step toward your dream. It's required. And it never feels good in the moment. Maxie

I'm being challenged, I am in the discomfort stage as I embark on this journey and although it feels like crap at the same time it feels good
Today was a day of strategy, the review, what I did well and not so well
Who likes being told that what they are doing is not being "done so well" 
Woman up- it is part of the journey
I am determined to include some fun in this trip, to celebrate the "doing well" moments if only for days like this where I am told that in order to  answer this call there will be uncomfortable days
And so on Friday morning the pardee begins!!!
Tomorrow I am at Word Up Bookstore - looking forward!