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Thursday, 24 July 2014

Ten thousand flowers bloom

"Out of yesterday's rejection, onward to a new perfection, from a fire came a feel, from that feel we made the steel!  So now we children now have a form so very Trinbagonian of course! Out of a muddy pond, ten thousand flowers bloomed" David Rudder

The adventure continued yesterday, I met an old buddy of mine, known her forever, but really have to make the time to hang out with her a little more while I am In the country. We decided to go to an event just on the spot called the Unconquered series. Its a set of talks held on different topics! No clue what was about to happen!
The thing turned out just what I needed after having a day like yesterday! This young man from one of the "hot spots" in the country ( the new term for a ghetto in T&T) sought refuge from the ghetto in a pan yard. A pan yard is a place where steel pan is learnt and played. Back in the day playing the steel pan was frowned upon and considered an absolute waste of time! He loved the music and would escape from his life in there and what this young man did is use the music of steel pan to conduct music therapy! He took us through what he would do in a music therapy session and my buddy got involved by having an instrument and playing it while he made some comments etc. It was so good to see how out from a muddy pond, ten thousand flowers bloomed! The guy is of service, doing what he loves and making his path clearer and making the country a better place!
What a nice way to spend the evening!
Put things well into perspective
Love to see how people pave a path and love learning from them
What kind of path are you paving?

Wednesday, 23 July 2014

Make room for the new

You cannot hold onto the old all the while
declaring that you want something new.
The old will defy the new;
the old will deny the new;
the old will decry the new.

There is only one way to bring in the new.
You must make room for it Neale Donald Walsh

So yesterday I was talking about adventure, and just how the Universe responds I have been having an adventure of a day! Woke up as normal did my meditation and journal writing and was about to write the blog and the electricity was gone! I started getting flashbacks of Kampala! I called the company, they told me that I was cut for non payment of my bill! What?? But I paid the bill last week through online banking! Sorry but you did not pay the current bill. But I haven't received the bill! Sorry but if you have any queries you can take it up with the customer service department in St James! I stood there feeling like a dummy! Ok this ought to not happen again, especially since my house has turned into a pit stop on a couple of people's journey!  So I vowed, this is the first, last and never again time! I get to the electricity company and they were sympathetic to my plight but I had to pay the balance of the bill and reconnection fee. Still feeling like I failed myself I went by my favourite nuts man- the guy who sells raw nuts in Port of Spain, he dishes out some nice nuts as well as some insightful commentary! I ask for my nuts and in his usual tone "Aye babygirl, what's going on with you today, like something on your mind" Wow! I love my nuts man! I told him like I have been making some choices that aren't the best ones! What do you mean he asked! So as we stood there talking I was listening to him, in between it all he said, "baby girl, you have to speak up for yourself, you have to not be afraid of what other people think of you, be respectful but stop hotting up your head, take a discount on these nuts and go home" LOL!
I love learning, you just never know where the lessons come from!

Tuesday, 22 July 2014

Put some real adventure into it...

Don’t settle for a day that’s just like the day before. Make the decision and make the effort to put some real adventure in it. Ralph Marston

This morning I was meditating, and just as I was done I walked outside to watch the rain and this question popped into my head and would not leave me ever since
"What is the meaning maker in your life?" Confessions on the journey, I have no idea what this question is asking me! "What is the meaning maker in your life?"
I think I better go and meditate some more! LOL!

What gives my life meaning? I think right now the answer to that is knowing that I am living an authentic life and taking whatever lessons that I have learnt and sharing it in my own authentic way, some people it will resonate with and some it won't and I am pretty ok with that!

What gives my life meaning is knowing that I am honouring the responsibility that I have to those who came before me and being proud of having the ability to do that!

What gives my life meaning is that I am moving daily to a place of unconditionally loving and accepting myself and living that truth
What gives my life meaning is doing what I want to do, rather than what society believes I ought to be doing!
These were my initial thoughts
Every day I wake up and give thanks because a day is such a wonderful mystery, no matter how much I plan and map it out things happen that excite and wow me every single day bar none! So I live from the knowledge that everyday is an adventure and I get to be in a daily adventure and that is super awesome!

What is the meaning maker in your life?

Monday, 21 July 2014


Cultivate a longer view of time: Forget 'getting somewhere in a year', build your life's work. Chela Davidson

One more book signing under my belt, brutally honest, every time I do one of these I'm sooooo nervous! So I tried something new this time I read from the book! Never did a reading in the past 5 that I have done and just as I predicted, started to cry! OMG! I was crying and I cry ugly, lips quivering, nose running the works!!! I kept telling myself get it together, get it together! I managed to pull it off but boy oh boy I had to pull out all the lessons! Don't judge yourself, be you, be compassionate to yourself!

I had a really good time despite the ugly cry! The crowd was brilliant! Two old work colleagues showed up and that topped it off for me! I haven't seen one of them in years and I kept promising to see her and it never happened! She looked great! mellow and calm compared to last time we met! Always had a soft spot for her!
The staff at the library was awesome!!!  I am really so grateful to be able to do this, do what I love!
On to the next one!!!


Friday, 18 July 2014

Book signing and reading tomorrow....

What you stop doing is just as important to your success as what you start doing

Planning moves ahead swiftly for Saturday, this is the first time that I will be without my crew who handles everything and my mother is also out of the country!
I saw yesterday all the hard work that they do behind the scenes to ensure that each event runs smooth! I went to the planning meeting yesterday and was like wow! I give thanks to my crew big time! So new experience, getting a stand in team, learning about the logistics and then showing up and showing out! I'm ready, I'm excited and I am grateful

So my question to you is, how many people behind the scenes contribute to you and your show, making it awesome? Your "show" can be your job, your home life, an event. How many times have you taken for granted the team? You just show up?
The importance and the value of the backup singers in the show is immense! Lesson learnt!


Come down if you can!!

Thursday, 17 July 2014

Wake up and Live

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality. Wake Up and Live!"

- Bob Marley, iconic musician
Working on a book signing event for this upcoming Saturday at the National Library of Trinidad and Tobago, who graciously invited me to come and spend the time with them reading and talking about my journey!
I am truly grateful for the opportunity
So as I am going through the planning, I lend a friend of mine my car, with some hesitation I might add , as this friend got into an accident with my car before and that was that! Anyways, I get a message, the friend has had another accident! I'm like "no way" ok ok what's the lesson here? I am still processing it!
I'm happy that my friend was not hurt, I am happy that everyone is alive, I am confused as hell now on what the lessons are in this scenario because truth be told this is not the second time but the third time! Same person! Obviously its no to borrowing the car but there is another lesson in there that I am going to sit still today to determine what it is! Focusing now on solutions!
So if you see me blazing down your road in a busted up car, that's why!

Tuesday, 15 July 2014

Don't chase ideals

One of my friends told me that I was being harsh and inflexible on a particular issue! When he said it I was struck silent! Why? because he was right! I have been silently being a passive aggressive coward not saying anything and acting out by being harsh and inflexible! I said wow, you know what? you are right! He responded, please girlfriend you are only human! Don't even beat up on yourself!

Don't chase ideals: Whatever perfection you see out there isn't real. In everything there is pain because in everything there is change and when there is change, there's longing, attachment and loss. 
Chela Davidson

I was at first ashamed to have acted like such a jerk but at the same time I was proud to not take a defensive position and cuss his tail out!!

Have you ever been there? Where someone tells you something and you know that you know that they are right? Then you have to decide, ok how do I respond? notice I said respond and not react? Responding is an empowered choice, reacting is usually not!

So I own it and take responsibility for my actions and learn that being defensive is usually the ego wanting to take over!!

Monday, 14 July 2014

Im asking.....

I'm asking myself today:
Is this relationship, activity, thought or belief for my highest good?

Is this relationship, activity, thought or belief a wise energy investment?

Does this relationship, activity, thought or belief enhance or deplete my light?

Do I wish to integrate this relationship, activity, thought or belief into my being?

Does this relationship, activity or belief contract my energy through fear or expand my energy with love?

What are you asking yourself?

Saturday, 12 July 2014

Lessons in every situation

The only place you can be is here," said Kali. "Now, 'all you can do' is what it means to 'give it your all.'"

While I was away my mother called to let me know my cousin died! I heard what she said but it didn't make sense! I said I will deal with it when I get back! Being an only child, my cousins were like my brothers and sisters, we grew up very close in the same house and had a childhood together until the families went their separate ways, as we grew up some of us got closer and I decided to pull away from this cousin, because I didn't agree with some of his life choices!
When I heard he died, my own guilt surfaced on how I reacted to what he chose to do with his life! I stopped talking to him a long time ago just saying hi at family gatherings having been like brother and sister!
I got home just in time for the funeral and resolved to not cry! not be emotional, well scrap that, the Universe had other plans! I got there and it all came flooding back especially when they showed a slide show of us growing up and his sister stared telling stories about him!
When I got back to my grandma's house she called me upstairs and said he left a letter, a pretty long letter, since he knew that he wouldn't live beyond 40!
I couldn't finish it!But I got some lessons from the little that I took in! Live your life to the fullest, be free meaning don't let other people dictate what you do, be kind, be kind to everyone and everything! Love, tell people you love them. He said he felt like a tortured soul because he felt little love from his mother and that's all he wanted! He wanted to do his own thing and she was not having it and whatever he did was never enough and then she left him for a while to go to Canada to make a better life! As an adult he understood what she was doing - making a better life, but as a child it just felt like being abandoned!
The other thing is don't hold back the tears, let it flow, salt water is cleansing!
RIP Kofi! I've learnt from you!