Validate You First

Validation is approval from others. Self-esteem is approval from yourself. Never sacrifice your self-esteem to gain validation. Validation is easily regained once lost. Self-esteem is not. Mark Manson 

Humans love to be recognized for the contributions, they want to be seen, loved, chosen, adored. We thrive on it, we love to feel appreciated. I can safely say that for me hearing "I appreciate you" melts my heart, I feel light and fluffy upon hearing that!

The challenge comes when there is an imbalance with seeking  internal and external validation. We only seek external validation. we crave it, we do everything with that as the intention. Why is this a challenge? Everyone will not like you (as lovely as you are), people have their own thing going on and may not tell you how wonderful you are, there are jealous people, and the list goes on.

Validate yourself - often! 

Start small - how do you speak to yourself?

What do you say to yourself? 

What do you say to others about yourself? Do you downplay your gifts and talents? Do you intentionally look for compliments and validation? that my friend is a set up!

Do you forgive yourself when you make mistakes or missteps?

Do you have positive self talk?

Building up yourself is the beginning of a healthier self esteem, we cannot rely on outside alone for our validation. 

One of the biggest lessons that I have learnt is to bet on myself. I have been acting on being chosen, being liked, being nice - trust me, that is a set up. I started people pleasing to the point of losing myself, to keep the peace, to be liked. It never worked. I became resentful and unhappy.

When I started focusing on keeping my word, keeping an open mind, using affirmations and positive self talk, I relied less and less on what others told me.

I valued myself more. I liked myself more.

Peace and Blessings

Listen to  Its An Inside Job - Akosua on the Sacred Planet Podcast