What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

  It wasn’t what I wanted, but it was exactly what I needed.  Ebonee Davis Today on my early morning walk, I listened to a conversation between Oprah and Lady Gaga. All I knew about Lady Gaga before listening to the conversation was that she was a mega superstar artist who leaned towards the outrageous. I kept seeing the conversation popping up on Spotify and I continued to completely ignore it. What would interest me about Lady Gaga I asked -  the answer I would give myself is nothing! Well let me tell you, I was way off, I decided to listen to the conversation and was riveted. Why? Her story spoke of resilience, discipline, using her platform to impact others in a positive way and overcoming setbacks resonated with me in an immense way. What I took away from the conversation: 1. When our passion is partnered with discipline we become unstoppable. 2. Radical acceptance is the beginning of changing your life - this has been what I have been focusing on in 2...

  You understand how your own perception impacts your reactions and mood. Blaming all your emotions on events and people outside of you creates a situation where you are constantly giving your power away. Taking responsibility for your mindset not only helps you grow, it widens your opportunity for happiness. Yung Pueblo  Perception is defined as the way in which something is regarded, understood, or interpreted. You may understand, interpret or regard a similar situation in which faced with someone in a completely different way.  You may have had the experience of being in the same place at the same time with someone and you both tell a completely different story. I have learnt that our perceptions are clouded by our experiences, our beliefs and even our physical abilities. I was having a conversation with a group of people who all volunteer for  The Nina Young Women's Leadership Program  on what my perception of the organization was. It was...

So when things are beautiful in your life remember They. Are. Yours. This is your life. And when things are awful, they’re also yours.  But if your problems aren’t getting you clYour oser to a life you want to be living…Then you have choices to make.  Maxi This weekend I completed a retreat with a team of wonderful ladies that volunteer for the NGO that I founded  The Nina Young Women's Leadership Program   We were at a beautiful home on the North Cost of the island close to the beach, in a small village with the sounds of birds and nature. Beautiful sunsets and sunrises featured daily in our experience. The yellows and oranges of the sky soothed us as we closed off the day of meetings and interventions with the ladies present. For those few days, that was my life.  According to Maxi, We have a tendency to brush good things off. Whether we’re staying in a beautiful spot for the weekend, or an incredible opportunity comes our way, or someone wonderful walks...

  You will avoid negative things that threaten your identity like failure, loss, and rejection. But you will also avoid positive things that threaten your identity—even things like success, love, and happiness. Marc Manson Avoiding the bad, the negative, the reality of what is in front of us does not make it go away. This is a lesson that I can say that I have learnt over the years. Confessions on the journey - I want always to be in my happy feely space, I want little or no disruptions to my existence- well I can tell you without a doubt that life does not work this way. Life delights in surprises and unexpected twists and turns to teach us, to guide us, to protect us. Free will means, we have to pay attention to the signs and to be obedient to the nudges. I  would beat up myself when things are going off course because my underlying beliefs have been if I was "good" and "right" nothing "bad" should happen to me! This thinking s for the birds! Life happen...

  “One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages.” Paulo Coelho Hello my friends, I have been travelling over the past week. It feels great to be back at base. Over the past week while travelling, I paid particular attention to being discerning- how do I define discernment?  I would say that discernment is the ability to see beyond what is front of us, using truth, trust and intuition. The ability to detect the truth and divinity from a situation which may appear normal to the majority or perhaps chaotic, When you are placed in a situation, looking through the lens of trust and truth, takes courage, it take a level of knowing. Deciding in the moment, what to do and how to be requires us not only to pay attention, it also requires us to trust ourselves. And this is where we may require some self reflection. Building trust of ourselves. How do you build s...

Living well means spending more time on things that matter. Living poorly means spending more time on things that don’t matter. Wisdom is knowing the difference . Mark Manson Confessions on the Journey, I am sharing the ten things I do as a matter of habit and course and whether they matter. I declare today, after this "confession" to spend more time on what matters. Ten Things I spend the most Time on: 1. Walking on Mornings - this matters to me 2. Scrolling Social Media - Does not matter - mindless entertainment most of the time 3. Reading - Matters to me, I learn I feel inspired, I heal. 4. Watching football - Arsenal Football Club of course - in the middle with this one - leaning towards does not matter- especially when they lose  5. Listening to Music - Matters to me, I feel inspired, happy and motivated. 6. Journaling - definitely matters to me, helps me express myself minus self judgement. 7. Working with the  Nina Young Women's Leadership Program - a charity that ...

 May is the Journey to Discernment - the ability to make decisions that are guided by something inside of you, guided by truth and trust of self. I was inspired by an message from coach, Stacey Herera on Intentions and wanted to share on this. Trust of self comes from practicing being still and loving who you are, and being self aware. In the busyness of life, in the impulsiveness of decisions minus conscious thought in advance of its consequences, in the avoidance of self, in the repetition of habits, discernment becomes harder. We end up making decisions based only on what we want, rather than what is true, fair, kind and loving. Getting what we want feels great in the moment, the long term feelings are usually accompanied by consequences. The intentions behind decisions made from a place of impulsivity, avoidance of what is, habits and untruths become clear upon impact. "If you accidentally step on someone's foot and cause a bone to fracture, whether you meant to do it or n...

  Where there is no story, there is no suffering - Eckhart Tolle  There is a difference between telling a story and making up a story. There is a difference is sharing your story and sharing a story you made up. Telling your story usually comes from a place of sharing, learning and empowering. Making up a story is usually from a place of not knowing, fear and ego. (Of course I am not referring to when you do this for a living) I love stories, I love hearing them, I love telling them. What I am now learning is that there is a difference between THE story and making up a story. Eckhart Tolle broke it down so well, his explanation created a moment of healing for me. Something happens in our life, most times, something that is unpleasant, uncomfortable, out of your control. We don't have all the details, we don't like it, we want to know, we want to be sure, we want to change and fix it. We make up stories to fill in the gaps, to make ourselves feel in control, to be right, to be ...

 “Not the world, not what’s outside of us, but what we hold inside traps us. We may not be responsible for the world that created our minds, but we can take responsibility for the mind with which we create our world.” ― Gabor Maté Confessions on the Journey - One of the most challenging exercises for me this year has been my thoughts. What do I mean by "my thoughts" I have been having difficulty letting go of thoughts that no longer serve me, holding on to them going scenarios over and over in my head. Giving life to what should have happened rather than accepting what is. Its Byron Katie who said - when we argue with reality we suffer. I have been suffering I have been making up stories in my head  Now, trust me, this is a trap. I have now been learning the lessons on how to pay attention and mind my mind. We cannot go back in time, change the past or control what has gone, what we can do is respond to what is in front of us. Living in the past is keeping no room for what i...

In May, we are on the Journey to Discernment - I often think of discernment as a close sister to intuition. Stepping out on what we don't know for sure what the outcome will be, but assured in the fact that there is some divinity in it. There is a peace that passes understanding, there is character and truth.  Discernment takes courage, it takes a strong spiritual grounding. We are faced with decisions and choices on a regular basis, there are some decisions that speaks to the soul, where we have to put aside our desires and love from a big place. The agape love, where the choice in the moment may make you feel good, however it is not the most loving choice for all concerned.  We have to develop the courage to step out on the little bit we understand even when we don’t know it all. This is a type of inner understanding and knowledge. The discernment is not in the knowing the full map or how to get from here to there, the discerning is stopping long enough to respond to the inn...