What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

 Releasing isn't about abandoning what's meaningful but honoring its place in [or out] of my life. One of the most profound and simple lessons that I have learned thus far is that life's experiences are not personal, they are intimate. We all experience love, loss, joy, betrayal, disappointment and all the other experiences that come with this gift of life. We however have all our intimate lessons and paths to experience in life which allows us to go inside ourselves and tap into all that we are born with. The challenge is that fear, self doubt, external noises, comparing ourselves, wanting to be in control and know everything before it happens, fear of failure, shame, judgement and ego gets in the way. We forget who we are, come off our path, get distracted and lose focus. It is important to remember our divinity as we journey on. We are here, we are built and designed for life, designed for the assignment. We are inherently worthy. Remembering this, starting from that spa...

Attention is not love, Attachment is not connection, and the Bare Minimum is not effort - Mia Mingus Recognizing and accepting that you have been okay with the bare minimum is an absolutely shocking wake up call. And yet that recognition  shifts the power right back into your hands. If taken as feedback and impersonally it can be seen as an eye opener. As  I reflect on how I have been operating in relationships and still operating in some areas of my life I confess that  the  bare minimum and attachments had become the norm . As a recovering people pleaser and deathly afraid of being/feeling abandoned, I would accept what was given not to proverbially "rock the boat", to be chosen, to avoid conflict. This is unsustainable, firstly when you settle, you remove authenticity from the equation - you are not being your real self - due to fear of losing out, fear of not being chosen. Secondly, it brings about a level of resentment and envy - deep down you know you are not ...

To have more power in your life you must surrender to what you cannot change, and fully alchemize that which you can. Face the pain that is making you feel powerless, and surrender to what is out of your control. Black Moon Book  I have heard and shared about the power of surrender, the power of letting go, the power of facing and sitting in your pain many times and understood the logic and importance of living a life where this is practiced. What I have learnt over this year is the challenge of integrating this into life's experiences. When we want control, when we want to win, when we want to be right, when we operate from a space of ego, the practice of surrender and letting go is a tough nut to crack. I can fully attest to this that operating from the place of ego is a sure fire way of prolonging suffering.  Surrender and letting go is not for the weak. It requires a level of courage to face what is, to not make excuses, to not deny what is. In relationships, the choice of...

  A chaotic life ends up tossed about by fate but clear mindedness leaves room for Courage and Bold Choices. I get that now. - Carolynn Myss  There are some simple choices that I have made to make my life less chaotic and more simple both internally and externally. I have made that decision because, just as Carolyn Myss says, clarity leaves room for courage and all round better choices. When we are clear, we are able to move forward even despite the fear. When we are clear, we can think about our connection to others and how our decisions impact the relationships we find ourselves in, and more importantly to be accountable for our part. When we are clear, we make space for our intuition to guide us as opposed to our ego. When we are clear, selfishness behaviours become less and less because we know what our worth, value and responsibilities are. When we are clear, we can let go, we can surrender, knowing that did our best in the moment. When we are clear, we are no longer mak...

  All of it is precious.  The heartache is precious, too. The way that things appear to your eyes to be wrong — that, too, is precious. The hurt. The difficulty. The unfairness. The terrible losses. That longing — that deepest, hardest, heart-piercing human longing — for everything to be different than it is. All of this is precious.  The pierced heart, for sure, is precious . The things as they are, and things as you want them to be, and the things as they never can be — all precious.  The madness, precious.  What is precious, in conclusion? EVERYTHING. - Elizabeth Gilbert  I started  making a list of what was "precious" to me after reading an article by Elizabeth Gilbert. The list included; a belly laugh my breath - deep breaths upon waking up a sunrise a sunset a full moon the moment you feel love and loved and then it hit me if I did not experience the opposite of all of this then the preciousness of it all would feel different. Everything is preci...

  God speaks to us through our imagination and intuition Denis Kimbro  I have been travelling during the month of October, it's been a combination of work and play, I took the opportunity since I on another Continent altogether to spend some quality time with Self and of course, take in the sights of where I am.  I felt as if I was in a completely different world being on the road for the majority of the month, the daily responsibilities on pause gave me an opportunity to focus my time on other activities, simple things such as doing the dishes and making the bed up were no longer part of my daily routine making it easier to read, to reflect to think.  As I return home, I am convinced that time away spent wisely can rewire our brain in so many ways, can remind us what is important, can reset us to move forward. It is also important to take time off the daily routine, it does not have to be on the other side of the world, it can be a a day trip to the beach, to a par...

 The real change, the kind that brings true power and freedom, happens when we stop chasing the external gaze—the validation, the approval, or the attention of others. When you start asking yourself the deeper questions and listening to your own wisdom, you shift from relying on the outside world to knowing that the answers are inside you.This shift is where your true power lies. Dr Robin Smith Cape Town, thank you. I am leaving with heart full of gratitude, a multitude of lessons and a reminder of who I am. Confessions on the Journey - I like to be chosen, I want others to choose and validate me, and depending on who decides to not choose me, I fall apart in so many ways forgeting that there is nothing personal in this experience called life and my worth does not depend on certain people choosing me. I was reminded on this trip to hold myself accountable but do not take other people's choices personal. Life remains intimate and impersonal. Once we are in the experience of life we ...

  In life, you're given the responsibility for yourself, and the opportunity to serve everyone else. True fulfillment and success arrives when you’ve achieved a balance between these two worlds . . .Guru Singh My grandmother would say in response to the question "How are you?"  "My child I am holding on to the balance wheel and holding on to courage" I would laugh, I had no idea what she meant and to ask would start a long conversation that I usually would not want to enter into especially as a teenager. My cousins and I would make fun of it, we would change it up, make variations, sing songs about it.  As I got older I started paying attention to it. I never did ask what it meant, I made up my own meaning and have been using that as a guide I am living my life with balance and with courage no matter what comes my way. An important question to ask yourself as you journey through November when faced with a decision "is this going to support balance in my lif...

  When you have a decision to make, ask yourself does this keep me in balance or does this throw me off balance? Carolyn Myss  Cape Town continues to fascinate me with its beauty, its diversity, its history, its realness. I made a decision to do a safari. Of course I did, why would I come to Africa and have an opportunity to see animals in their natural habitat and miss it?  The bus collected me in town at 6.30 as we set out on just over a two hour ride outside of the City of Cape town to the Aquila Game Reserve. The sun was just coming up over the mountains as we headed West. The clouds, the rising sun and mountains combining together made for a postcard setting as we drove towards the reserve.  The mountains started making way for rocky cliffs that looked almost hand made, like little huts with thatched roofs made out of stone on both sides of the road with vineyards in between. There was the choice of going through a tunnel cut amongst the mountainous cliffs or u...