Journey to Gratitude: Why Settling Isn’t the Same as Being Grateful

 Practice gratitude. Practice it daily. Name and give thanks for the blessings that hold up your life, the blessings you receive, the blessings you offer your world. Hiro Boga 

The Illusion of Settling

Have you ever convinced yourself that settling was gratitude? I have. There was a time in my life when I stayed in a job that drained me, telling myself, “I should be grateful to even have a job.” I called it gratitude, but deep down, I knew I was just settling. I was making something work because I was too afraid to admit it wasn’t what I wanted. Same with relationships, I stayed in the thorns and called it roses - I was thankful to have a relationship.

Gratitude is not about resignation or forcing yourself to be okay with less than you deserve. It’s not about plastering a smile on your face and pretending everything is fine when it’s not. True gratitude is a devotion—a courageous, intentional practice that requires us to dig deeper, to know ourselves, and to embrace both the light and the shadows of our lives.

As we step into February, I’m ready to explore what it means to live a life of genuine gratitude—one that doesn’t settle but instead empowers and transforms. Let’s do this.

Gratitude as a Devotion

Gratitude isn’t a one-time act or a fleeting feeling. It’s a devotion—a daily practice of choosing to see the good, even when the good feels buried under layers of frustration, disappointment, or fear. It’s about showing up, day after day, and saying, “I will find something to be thankful for, even here.”

I remember a time when I was stuck in a rut, feeling like my life was on autopilot. My friend recognized my frustration and as fate would have it gifted me with a gratitude journal. I started writing in it daily giving thanks for the now- what was in front of me and for the  later - giving gratitude in advance. It has become a daily ritual that I practice- this devotion and ritual rewired my brain to come out of denial and find the good . At first, it felt forced. “I’m grateful for my morning watermelon,” I’d write, half-heartedly. But over time, something changed. I began to notice the small, beautiful moments I had been overlooking—the way the sunlight streamed through my window in the morning, the way the parrots would migrate daily with a ruckus. Gratitude became less about the big things and more about the tiny, sacred details.

The Courage to Be Grateful

Let’s be honest: gratitude isn’t always easy. It takes courage to be grateful, especially when life feels heavy or unfair. It’s easier to complain, to resist, to dwell on what’s wrong. But gratitude asks us to do something radical—to look for the light, even in the darkest places.

I think of a friend who lost her mother last year. In the midst of her grief, she shared something that stayed with me: “I’m not grateful for the loss, but I am grateful for the love we shared. That love is still here, even though she’s not.” Her words reminded me that gratitude doesn’t erase pain; it walks alongside it. It takes courage to hold both the sorrow and the gratitude in the same hand, but when we do, we find a deeper sense of peace.

Knowing Yourself to Be Grateful

Gratitude requires self-awareness. You have to know what you value, what you need, and what you’re willing to accept. Without this knowing, it’s easy to confuse gratitude with settling. I’ve been there—staying in relationships that didn’t serve me, sticking with habits that held me back, all while telling myself, “I should be grateful for what I have.”

But here’s the truth: gratitude isn’t about lowering your standards or silencing your desires. It’s about honoring your truth while finding ways to appreciate where you are. It’s about saying, “This isn’t perfect, but there’s still beauty here.” When we know ourselves, we can discern the difference between settling and genuine gratitude.

Surrender and Acceptance

Gratitude often requires surrender—not the kind of surrender that gives up, but the kind that lets go. It’s about releasing the need to control everything and accepting what is. This doesn’t mean we stop striving for better; it means we find peace in the present moment, even as we work toward our dreams.

I learned this lesson during a season of uncertainty in my career. I had big plans, but nothing was working out the way I’d hoped. Instead of fighting against the uncertainty, I decided to surrender—to trust that things would unfold as they were meant to. In that surrender, I found gratitude for the lessons I was learning, the resilience I was building, and the unexpected opportunities that came my way. 

Gratitude Is Not Settling

Here’s the heart of it: gratitude is not about settling for less than you deserve or want. It’s not about staying in situations that dim your light or shrink your spirit. True gratitude empowers us to see the good in our lives while still striving for more. It’s a balance of appreciation and aspiration.

As we move into February, I’m committing to a gratitude that doesn’t settle. I’m choosing to be thankful for where I am while still reaching for where I want to be. I’m choosing to see the beauty in the journey, even when the path is unclear.

Let’s Do This

So, what about you? Are you ready to embark on this journey to gratitude? Are you willing to look beyond the surface and find the courage, self-awareness, and surrender that true gratitude requires? Let’s step into February with open hearts and a commitment to a gratitude that doesn’t settle—a gratitude that empowers, uplifts, and transforms.

What will you choose—gratitude or settling? Let’s do this.

Peace and Blessings