What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

“ Give up defining yourself - to yourself or to others. You won't die. You will come to life. And don't be concerned with how others define you. When they define you, they are limiting themselves, so it's their problem. Whenever you interact with people, don't be there primarily as a function or a role, but as the field of conscious Presence. You can only lose something that you have, but you cannot lose something that you are.”  ―  Eckhart Tolle ,  A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose I love Eckart Tolle's work, I was listeneing to a podcast by him this morning, it was such a timely reminder for me that I am not my thoughts, it also reminded me that we all have an ego however it is up to us if we identify with the ego self. His explanation of what the ego is nailed it for me He says the ego means to be indentified with the mind, with thought, structires, opinions and points of view, to the extent that you derive your sense of self, who you ar...

Steppin' out, steppin' out Journey through the tunnel of love Wisdom is respected hatred is rejected Steel Pulse (Steppin Out) Growth and change are essential and many times painful Painful because we as humans like certainty, control and comfort. Anything that is shaky or uncertain gives us humans anxiety and makes us nervous. Think about it, new job, new place to live, new relationship- we get jittery! The need to control is real! Right now in my life, changes are happening like a rapid force, new people are coming into my life, old ones are leaving, different opportunities are coming and others have stopped. And that shit is scary. I have no idea what is going to happen next, and what is wonderful about that scary feeling is that I am always learning and growing and delighted in the unexpected. The toughest thing for me is when people leave my life! As a recovering people pleaser I analyse and over think the reasons. Truth be told, they have grown and changed, I m...

"Vulnerability is the only authentic state. Being vulnerable means being open, for wounding, but also for pleasure. Being open to the wounds of life means also being open to the bounty and beauty. Don’t mask or deny your vulnerability: it is your greatest asset. Be vulnerable: quake and shake in your boots with it. the new goodness that is coming to you, in the form of people, situations, and things can only come to you when you are vulnerable, i.e. open.” Stephen Russell This morning my routine was thrown off. I woke up at 5am as per usual to go for a run. I got off the bed started getting ready and could not leave the house, I lay back down on the bed and decided to sleep to get away from the dread that I was feeling. I realised that I was scared, plain ole scared to go to run. It was at that point that I realised that I never dealt with the feelings associated with being robbed last week. I automatically went into fix it mode, into finding solutions, no time to dwell! How ...

Use questions to build your strength. You will get angry. Some days you will be devastated. But even on the days when you might fail to be compassionate, please don’t let go of what you know to be true in your bones: that compassion illuminates the darkness. Danielle La Porte How do you respond when your point of view is in the minority? Especially when the people are seemingly more powerful? What do you do when what you think and feel are different? I was in a meeting yesterday and was totally outnumbered with my view, I started getting annoyed, I started raising my voice, I started being defensive, then it hit me I do this when I want to prove that I am right rather than listen to other points of view,  when I refuse to learn from others and most importantly when I believe that I am not being heard and losing control. Really, I am never losing control, that is ussually a perception, a view that says I am wrong.  Truth be told, there is nothing to prove to anyone,...

Every loving thought is true. Everything else is an appeal for healing and help, regardless of the form it takes ACIM Some of the most amazing things that have happened in my life I did not plan it nor was thinking about it in that way, the pure randomness of the events still astounds me! Have you ever had a "chance" ebounter meeting someone and they turn out to be the person you had to talk to at that stage in your life or the one who has the contacts to assist you in a project, or they lead you onto something delicious and divine? I have realised that this happens quite a bit when I surrender the outcome being to the tune of how I want it, trust the process and relax. (of course after putting in the work) Marianne Williamson always says the Universe is self correcting and self organising, almost like the GPS in your car, when you make a wrong turn they recalibrate and lead you back on course Our main issues are getting out of our own way and wanting to control ever...

“ Instead of asking “ what do I want  from life? ” A more powerful question is, “what does life want from me?”  –   Eckhart Tolle This life, with all it's seeming challenges, is beautiful. It is not only about you and what you can ezrn, get, climb. It really is about the purpose behind it. The Why? Do you have a why? therein lies the purpose For many of us the "why" is fuelled by fear, competition, shame and lack newsflash- anything that you aquire based on that is unsustainable! You may get it and have it however the peace under that will be missing You will always be looking over your shoulder or wanting more to fill the void Analyse your "why" what is behind it? Chances are if standing behind your why includes love, sharing, growth, authenticity, fun, honesty, self love then there will be a lot less stress, anxiety, feelings of lack and limitations So, take a look, analyse what is the "why" and then act accordingly Peace

“When we attach value to things that aren’t love—the money, the car, the house, the prestige—we are loving things that can’t love us back. We are searching for meaning in the meaningless.” Marianne Williamson This morning I did my usual Sunday ritual, go to the West Coast with my buddy to run then head to the Hyatt for a peanut punch, talk  a little bit the head home to watch football. Two lovely things happened today, I bumped into one of my favourite people who was staying at the Hyatt having come to visit for a week, she joined us as we sat sweaty after our exercise! At that point I got a message saying that my wallet, which was stolen yesterday was found with my driver's permit and identification card! I could pick it up at the police station at my convenience as someone found it and turned it in! That made me so happy, mainly because knowing that good samaritans still exist and I would avoid the inconvenience of running around to get new identification documents sorted! ...

As forgiveness allows love to return to my awareness,  I will see a world of peace and safety and joy.ACIM I run almost every Saturday morning, same place, same time, like clockwork, I park in the same spot as well. Today I came back to see my car smashed, ramsacked and the contents gone! I stood motionless for a moment! Really? Ler me check, I walked back and forth to ensure that it was my car Oh snap, it was my car! The first thought was did I leave anything in plain sight only to see that all the cars around me were smashed as well! Okay then I walked to where my peeps were parked and they immediately came to my assistance Ok there is one positive We went to the police station - they stayed with me We went to repair the car - they stayed with me Gave me cash as well (mind you these peeps are not my friends, I just see them once a week on a Saturday we run together then say good bye I don't even have some of their phone numbers) but they were there all the way Gra...

It is not up to you to change your brother,  but merely to accept him as he is . ACIM The day I stopped wanting others to change was the day that more peace came into my life My shift was the choice to accept or walk away. Just that simple. We do not get to choose how people love us we get to choose whether or not we want to accept the way they love us. Would you want any one to change you? Peace

I'm not really into that whole, "This is gonna change your life!!!" thing  ❤️ I'm much more into a, "Hey there, let's experiment by showing up for life in a way that feels radically true for you" kinda thing. I don't know what you need. I don't know what you want. I don't know what's gonna get your feet tapping, heart pumping, feelings flowing, creativity exploding, wisdom moving, and body relaxing. Buttt, YOU DO. And you knowing you, you being what you came for, is exactly what I am here for The Messy Masterpiece Who wants to change, transform, radically shift? Hands up? Okay now who wants to do the work? Hands up? The work must be done,(sorry, there is no other way) and the work requires us to sit in it, to face it, acknowledge it, call it, own it whatever "it" is There goes a radical concept! There is no amount of reading, going to seminars and courses, watching YouTube vids, sending positive messages ove...

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all of the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. ACIM This is one of my all time favourite quotes from ACIM.Your task is not to seek for love- I am love, I therefore have no need to seek it out, look for it, search for it. What I am to do is to be open and accept the love that is already there, both in me and through the every day ocurences in my life. My task is to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it - how many conditions do we place on love? I'm not talking about setting boundaries which are healthy and necessary for self respect and respect of others I am referring to the unrealistic expectations we place on our loving The fear that we parade around in the name of what they should be doing, what they aren't doing yada yada yada How many barriers do we unconsciously place on our loving?  Denial - barrier Unrealistic expectations - barrier Lies...

Empty denotes something negative, the idea that you had something, and now you’ve lost it. But I’ve learnt recently that empty is the lack of a male presence in my head. I am empty of worrying if he will or will not call. Empty of concern for his emotions and well-being. Empty of worry regarding his actions. This might just be called letting go, or moving on, or any number of things. But I also realised that I have reached a place where male validation, whether it be professional or personal, has no baring on me any longer. And I have grown in a world where so much emphasis has been placed on that male acceptance, that I am suddenly empty. Chronicles of Salma So, as the Universe works, as I was talking about giving advice about relationships, I received phone call by a guy asking me to go for coffee. As I was about to politely decline, I realised this must be a sign! I said yes. right away he asked if I was free on that same day - wow, talk about testing if I was ready.  I s...

Changing sociological patterns, financial insecurity, the rise of technology and we women all contribute to making a fuckboy what he is today. I say ‘we women’ because we’ve been complicit in the very thing that now ails us. We’ve spent years buying into the narrative of the ‘cool girl’, attempting to be belching boys on the sofa who automatically transform into beauty queens who fuck like porn stars the minute the lights are dimmed, and it’s completely fucked up the idea of male/female gender relations . Salma El-Wardany Having to spend quite a load of my time with young women, I always have, somewhere in the back of my head, that I am supposed to do the honorable thing, to walk my talk and be an example to the young 'uns that I am around. That also comes to mind even with the adult women that I interact with on the journey. It is a really wonderful accountability check and I would not change it for one minute. With it sometimes comes some pressure- mostly self imposed. For w...

Everything in your life, right now, is a reflection of what you believe you deserve . Benjamin Hardy I read this article about behaviour and beliefs by Benjamin Hardy, some home truths in there that truly rsonated and so I wanted to share it with my lovelies: Subconsciously, you believe you are “unworthy” of anything beyond what you currently have. Unworthy to have more. Unworthy to contribute more. Unworthy to experience more. Unworthy to connect deeper. Where do these internal attitudes come from? They come from your behaviors. Your behaviors dictate your beliefs about yourself and the world. If you eat unhealthy food, how do you think that will influence your sense of identity? What if you changed it up? What if, instead of eating unhealthy foods, you DECIDED to eat only healthy foods, just for one single day. How you act and what you do shapes your internal identity. Hence, when you make a personal investment in yourself, you create an immediate psychologi...

The relationship between guilt and forgiveness may surprise you.   Guilt is actually a twisted or manipulative way of seeking forgiveness. It is the belief that if you inflict suffering on yourself for your choices, another will forgive you for them. This is belief keeps you in pain because only you can forgive yourself.  Gary Zukav Any time I read Gary Zukav's work, I have that penny dropping moment. every.single.time! And like today, I hit upon his wisdom on guilt and forgiveness and I literally had to scream when the penny dropped, when the A-HA angels singed! On all levels, forgiveness is big, and forgiveness starting with oneself, it frees so many channels. Forgiveness is about freedom, it is about moving on, lessening the burden, the load and starting afresh, it is for no one else but you! Added to that, the guilt assiciated with non forgiveness- oh man! it seeps into all our actions, eating, shopping, the job we accept and choose, the people we surround ourselves w...

Things that matter come and go, but being touched and feeling life move on, we tend to cling and hold on,not wanting anything to change. Of course, this fails and things do change. Often, we are stubborn enough to go after what we think is leaving, trying to manipulate and control the flow of life, Of course this fails too We can't stop life from flowing. All clinging and holding on makes it worse Mark Nepo Immerse yourself in the moment for a day, whatever you are doing be all there, fully present. See how it feels, what it does to both you and the activity or person you are interacting with Body, mind and soul We have a tendency to look at what we have to do next, what is on the to do list, what we forgot to do earlier, what is missing, what we will say as soon as the person we are chatting with shuts up, or maybe we will butt in On the other hand, we may be focusing on what we forgot to do yesterday, who we forgot to cuss, what we wanted to tell our co worker or frien...

The Worse People Act, The Greater is Their Need For Healing - ACIM Check yourself first, how are you acting? Acting like a doofus then check yourself, something requires attention Go ahead, blame the other person for your actions- see how far that gets you! Go ahead blame the environment for your actions - see where that takes you Go ahead blame the economy for your actions - see how much that adds up Take a timeout and check yourself, get still, listen, pat attention and heal! When you're done come outside, come in to the light and see how that feels It really is that simple No guilt, no beating up on yourself, no blaming and shaming Just a does of awareness, responsibility and healing Go ahead, give it a go Peace

Just tell the truth – it’s not what you say it’s how you show up, how you live, how you act. How you be . Susan Taylor I read something today that says words and talking are the least most effective way of communicating. That resonated with me. I had to check myself. I am one who many say  of of little words. So how am I living? How am I showing up? Am I walking my talk? Am I acting with integrity, awareness, kindness, humility, courage and love? Am I honoring my word, first to myself!  A Course in Miracles says all minds are joined, and by that it suggests that people know when you are harbouring mal thoughts about them most of the time, don't you know when you walk into  a room when people are talking about you?  Without anyone saying a word, we have a guess Also when we walk into some rooms we feel the energy, and when there is positive energy we feel empowered, when there is negative energy we feel drained- not a word was said! So, I am checking how I a...

We should not pause our lives and wait for a time when our self love will be perfect, instead we should move forward with our goal of self healing as a constant aspect of our lives. Always open to release, always learning, always keeping a part of our awareness inward so that we can observe our truth, always seeking to live harmlessly and love actively. Sending love to all beings. May we all understand that we have so much to give. May we all be open to receiving. May we all heal ourselves and the world .Young Pueblo Every day take a step towards the person and life you want to be, however small.  Everyday do something to make you happy, that brings you joy, however small Everday align yourself with something, anything that moves you forward, however small The small drops add up and  fills the bucket. Consistency, Discipline and Self Belief are two of the most important qualities to possess on this journey. Of course there will be days where things are rough, that you ...

In order to remember who you are, first you need to forget everything you were told about who you are. Until you remove the veil of these systems that are keeping you stuck you will find it most difficult to connect with your own inner desires. You will be manifesting experiences that leave you unfulfilled because they do not speak to your inner truths. When you let go of the need to be a people pleaser and begin to live for from a place a wholeness you realize that following your dreams actually is a beautiful blessing that you can offer to the planet. Every new desire that you give birth to serves all of creation. And this is so.     Maryam Hasnaa The first time I was asked to question beliefs that I had  held on to from childhood, from my country's history, from religion and from society's construct, it blew my mind. Just something as simple as questioning it, aka asking a question, asking "why", "how come", "is that so because?"  How...

Guilt is  always  disruptive Anything that engenders fear is divisive because it obeys the law of division ACIM Guilt makes us do all sorts of rubbish! Make all manner of rubbish decisions and then justify them Guilt is a belief in separation and a belief in the need to be punished Check your decisions, if they being made with a foundation of guilt, make another choice Peace

Father, I ask for nothing but the truth. I have had many foolish thoughts about myself and my creation, and have brought a dream of fear into my mind. Today, I would not dream. I choose the way to You instead of madness and instead of fear. For truth is safe, and only love is sure ACIM I keep going back to one of my favourite questions How does this serve you? It starts a movement in my mind to question some of the things that I am doing which are really quite foolish How does it serve you to be dishnonest to both myself and others? How does it serve you to carry around self doubt? How does it serve you to hide from the truth? How does it serve you to eat junk continuously? How does it serve you to have no boundaries? How does it serve you to not forgive yourself and others? How does it serve you to live in denial? Once you are doing these things, it is serving something in you Many times it is guilt - your own and others with guilt, someone must be punished many ti...

Any public issue will get to your private door eventually. If we are messing with the environment it will eventually affact you and so the list goes on . Marianne Willamson There is so much going on in the world right now, from hurricanes wiping out islands, to leaders who respond like they aren't leading, to mass shootings, to killing black folks and the list goes on and on till the break of dawn It is enough to get one disjointed, disappointed and anxious. Truth be told I am at that point. Wht next? I have decided that I must contribute to the solution, I have no clue what THE solution is but I know what my solution is- to be the best me, to make where I am better than when I found it, to stop being selfish, to live as though there are other people and living beings on the planet. Simple things I am starting with recycling - there is no obvious and convenient ways to recyle where I live using less plastic bags giving to charity both financial and time be my best - do my b...

If you have difficulty saying no, override your needs to please others, or are bothered by someone who is demanding, controlling, criticizing, pushy, abusive, invasive, pleading, or even smothering you with kindness, it’s your responsibility to speak up. Darlene Lancer I think it still remains to this day, one of the toughest lessons on the journey! There are internal and external boundaries - who knew?? Internal boundaries relate to your relationship with yourself and external boundaries relate to your relationship with others, both are equaly important on the journey So why might it be the challenges in setting boundaries: You put others’ needs and feelings first; You don’t know yourself; You don’t feel you have rights; You believe setting boundaries jeopardizes the relationship; and You never learned to have healthy boundaries. Boundaries protect us!  They protect you and the people around you, think of it like a fence. There is a gate and sometimes the ...

Naïve vulnerability thinks: If I try hard enough to be heard, I’ll get what I want. Awake vulnerability thinks:  This is hard work. I have no idea what will come of this. I’m showing up anyway . Danielle La Porte Not everyone is going to agree with you Not everyone will like you Not everyone will share in your enthusiasm Not everyone will be ready for your idea Show up Anyway!! Not everyone will be on the A Team Not everyone will be on any of your teams Not everyone will be in the trenches with you Show up Anyway! Not everyone will share in your joy Not everyone will share with you, period Not everyone will share in your dream Show up Anyway! Not everyone will be at the party with you Not everyone who started will remain with you Not everyone will be celebrating with you  Show up Anyway!