Self Reflection Takes Courage

 the next time that shame creeps up in your life, ask yourself this one question (or journal about it): What about this situation made me feel like I either wasn't enough or was a bad person? Dr Mariel Buque

Shame is learned behavior. When shame shows up and  we embrace it as part of us, we run the risk of listening to that inner voice that says we are not good enough or we are doing something wrong. that level of thinking leads to all types of  poor choices and decisions. 

Brene Brown describes shame as an “intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.”

Of course we make mistakes, and sometimes our actions fall short of what we set for ourselves, we let others down. There will also be times where things will  just not go the way we expected. What we must focus on  when we feel we have done something wrong or did not live up to both our own and the expectation of others is to get curious with our feelings, ask ourselves some questions and be willing to be open, honest and authentic in our responses. 

The questions I have learned to ask myself when I come up wanting include:

1. What is my why? Why did I do it? It seems a simple question, when answered honestly it reveals so much!

2. What is the situation teaching me? (an oldie and a goodie)

3. What do I need to do to make myself happy if absolutely nothing changes?

Self reflection takes a level of courage, are you willing? Trust me, without that level of courage and willingness, shame will continue to show up leading us to feel isolated, trapped and powerless.

We must be ready to love ourselves through it all.

Peace