Proving and all that

 How do we know when we’ve shaken the hunt for enoughness and are moving from deep-abiding sufficiency? I don’t think this question can be answered. It needs to be practiced.  Chela Davidson




I have always had the desire to inspire others, I wanted to be the one others turn to when they required an extra does of motivation. I wanted to be seen, have my name in lights. My mother said that I told her at quite a young age that I will make her proud. The question I am now asking myself is when does it go out of balance and become an ego fest! When does it shift from wanting to make myself proud to gaining external validation?  That yearning to succeed, to become "someone" can become a never ending spiral of reaching and reaching, rather than being in the moment.

I am now embracing that doing my best is enough

that showing up real is enough

that following divine guidance with courage is enough

Without having others tell me, show me, validate me. 

It really is an inside job.

There is also me being caught up in what society thinks, says and expects- living in that space and wanting to prove, and be seen as special, different and by extension worthy.

What I have learnt is, when the balance is off it becomes an ego trip. When the intention to prove and dominate overrides being of service, the balance is way off. It shows up in my actions.

Being mindful is how we can pull back and remain present in love and in service.

Peace and Blessings

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