What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear I rise Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear I rise  Maya Angelo     The past three days at the Rise TT Women' Conference was uplifting. The US Embassy in Trinidad and Tobago in partnership with the Young Leaders of America and Dingole Limited hosted a three day workshop with young women and young entrepreneurs from throughout Latin America and the Caribbean, sharing stories and learning techniques.     I have learnt that I thrive in these environments, I learn, I am with my tribe.    There is something powerful that happens when we get together authentically.    When we share our stories in an empowering way, when we listen with non judgemental ears we open up to access to our best selves.    I am supremely grateful for the opportunity to be a part of the village of Rise. I look on with anticipation of what happens next,and even if nothing happens I remain grateful th...

  Be careful what, or whom, you pour yourself into - A Sign Many of us women have been taught that we have a duty to our family, a duty to our husbands. A duty to whatever we have committed to. There are schools of thought that no matter what, women must endure through the situation at hand to either face it or handle it, with class, dignity and sometimes silence. This approach has proven to be detrimental - literally! Some women, in fulfilling their duties, have not only harmed themselves, some has harmed others, some have literally died. What are the boundaries of duty? How do we define what our duties are? As the Sign says - be careful what or whom you pour yourself into You are connected to the Source of all things, when you are disconnected your ability to pour lessens. If you are not healthy you cannot perform any tasks If you are not at peace, your ability to perform your duties are also affected. Chose who you are around carefully, chose your tasks, your fr...

Do not throw away truth in favour of illusions - ACIM I was listening to Oprah Winfrey's Super Soul Sessions yesterday, the topic was "Your Truth". I was quite enthralled with her story- I guess who isn't right? It's Oprah! What resonated with me was her story on how someone gave her the platform to be herself and it was for her the best advice she ever took. In her words, she made quite a lot of money being herself. She had a phenomenal life being herself. How many times have we not been given permission to - just be your yourself? How many times have we been asked to be a little more this or a little more that, or a little less this or a little less that? How many people say change how you look to fit in, change how you speak, change what you wear! Here is Ms Winfrey saying do you, be your best you, work it baby! I was heartened by that advice because I am a total advocate being your best self. Who can be you better than you? No one! Who do you ...

Where would you have me go? What would you have me do? What would you have me say? And to whom? –A Course in Miracles This is my favourite prayer. I love it for it's simplicity I love it for it's openess I love it because it resonates with my belief and lessons that I am a conduit through which the Universe operates for many of the tasks that I am involved in. I say this prayer not only when I seek clarity, I also say it when I am making decisions I wanted to share it with you today Peace Have you read any of Akosua's work? What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here? Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal Follow Akosua on Twitter Instagram Facebook

The feedback is not so much the details of their opinions and the specific things they say in the moment. Rather, the real feedback lies in the gist of their reaction to us. That reaction can tell us if we are in ego mode, which is invaluable feedback for us . ACIM We live our lives on this plane with others. Some of us live our lives more publicly than others - some by choice and others by purpose. Whichever it is, there will be feedback involved. Some feedback we ask for and some we don't. Some feedback we like and some we don't. I have learnt that all feedback is useful and  involves some type of lesson. The Course in Miracles says that our response to feedback determines if it comes from a place of fear or not. As soon as we start getting defensive we know, fear has stepped in. As soon as we want to justify, make excuses, sometimes even fight, rest assured that those are fear based responses. We know the difference between the unwarranted attacks and feedback. We r...

Your Silence Will Not Protect You - Audre Lorde There is power in your story. Your Power Your story may irritate some,  piss some off, make others uncomfortable, people will call you names like emotional, high strung, opinionated, arrogant, even bitchy. So what's the alternative? Stay silent? Change to suit each name? Nah. For what? Because the world will not end if people call you names The way you tell your story may free you, it may free others it may alter your world - inside and outside it will bring you wings, it will bring you clarity And clarity will keep you open to what life wants to give you Life usually has something better in store than you've "listed" Clarity will give you the guidance when to speak up and when to shut up When to share your story Peace Have you read any of Akosua's work? What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here? Daily Lessons on the Jour...

Complaints are often doorways to unmet wants and needs. Mastin Kipp When our needs are met, we are content. When our needs are unmet, we are fitful and we tend to complain. Somehow, people have difficulty in sharing what their needs are, especially the people pleasers There are times when people express their needs and they are scolded, dismissed, ignored or denied. Over time these actions convert into not asking for what you need, ignoring our own needs because of the false belief that it is not important, feeling guilty about our needs and justifying not having our needs met. Lovies, your needs are important, your needs are important! And it starts with you. You meet your own needs then it paves the way of how others interact with you. When we believe that we are unable to express our needs, resentment grows, and complaining starts Find the courage to speak up about your needs Find the courage to meet your own needs Find the courage to accept that not everyone would be...

How you listen is how you live. Unknown I read a post by one of my favourite writers Maxie McCoy, she had a list of the things her favourite women tribe do, I was inspired by this to make a compilation of my own. What I love about my favourite women 1. They speak what is on their mind, unapologetically and in love 2. They show up! sometimes with wine, sometimes with soup, sometimes in heels 3. They check in - text, email, phone call 4. They are full of ideas, they share them with no expectation  5. They can cook - yes, I like my belly, and they share their food 6.They have boundaries and they respect yours 7. They have a strong NO and a firm YES 8. They share in your wins 9. They quote you to yourself 10. They laugh with you and for you, they love to laugh Have you read any of Akosua's work? What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here? Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal ...

" You have to close the gap on who you say you are and how you are behaving " - Marianne Williamson One of my favourite lessons is - thought, word and deed must add up for clarity. For clarity of prayer and for clarity of movement. The Universe responds to clarity and consistency. For us to say we want something or what to do something yet our thoughts, our words and our actions do not line up, it throws some confusion into your request. If you want to get a certification in engineering, your actions alone will not make it happen. There has to be the combination of believing that it can be done (thought), going to class  and doing the assignments (action) and speaking truthfully and positively about the experience. Without that combination, trust me, it will be harder to manifest your vision. How many times do we want something and believe we cannot have it, and talk about it as if it is impossible yet our actions move towards obtaining it? They must all line up. Tho...

learn to recognize your motives for making your choices in life. When motivated by fear or money or insecurities, you’ll make choices of equal quality. And those choices will fit the quality of your motivation . Carolynn Myss  There are those who say that our lives reflect the choices and decisions that we make. Even  when we are faced with matters that are outside of our control, we have to make a decision which is reflected in our response to the circumstance. When we know who we are and what motivates us, our decisions reflect that. When we make decisions in fear and not enoughness, the result of these decisions are reflected in our lives. It is a challenge to go against the status quo, to go against the trends, to make unpopular decisions, we are socialised to be nice- particularly women. Grin and bear it. When we make decisions from a people pleasing space, we diminish and devalue our voice. We lose too because trust me, not everyone will like you or the decision...

Genuine forgiveness is a self-initiated mystical act that requires the assistance of grace to release you from the compulsive and often self-righteous chatter of the ego, which continually enforces a position of entitled anger or hurt. Carolyn Myss Forgiveness is big! It is the very thing that saved me from myself. I realised that holding on to past hurts and past traumas was literally life threatening- it was getting me ill. Forgiveness I have learnt is giving up the need for the past to change, for the past to be different, for the past to be what we deem suitable for us and for us alone!  So what had to happen for me to forgive was to accept that the past cannot be changed, the right now is key and to move on with the lessons. According to Carolyn Myss, f orgiveness is not the act of releasing the aggressor, though it is usually interpreted this way. Nor is it a way of telling others that what they have done is “okay” with you and “all is forgiven now.” Neithe...

Change your vocabulary. Specifically, give up the use of the following terms and all that they imply: blame, deserve, guilt, fair, fault. If you cut those five words from your vocabulary, both in your private thoughts and in your communication with others, you will notice almost immediately that it is far more difficult to fall into negative emotional patterns. You will also discover how habitual those patterns have become . Carolyn Myss Guilt, I have learnt, is a wasted emotion  particularly when one makes decisions from it. Guilt happens very often when  our core beliefs are questioned and found to be wanting. Found to be not serving us. Core beliefs are usually formed through experiences from home, church, school and experiences.  Guilt is always disruptive as it engenders fear. I felt so guilty  on Sunday at the Bodacious Girl Gala about not mentioning the names of all the ladies from the NiNa Programme, there was guilt in not pointing them out more, in not ...

The universe is the essence of duality. To be a good giver, you must be a good receiver. And to be a good lover, you must be good at being loved. Stacey Herera Hello my lovies Its been a while since we have been together, let me tell you the last few days have been quite a journey. We completed our first Bodacious Girls Gala 2019 at the Castle Kilarney. A fund raiser for the NiNa Young Leaders Programme in partnership with the Cleopatra Borel Foundation. What an amazing night we had. I have learnt that I have difficulty asking for help, that my friends know this  and they accept me for it, just come in and support I have learnt that there is power in having clear and noble intentions I have learnt that love is another super power I have learnt to follow my intuition and that things work out the way they ought to when we plant the seed, till the land, do the work with faith and belief The Bodaciousness of this event was large! I am so proud to be associated with every...

“The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house”   Audre Lorde Today is International Women's Day, we celebrate and honor the achievements of women all around the world on this day I am grateful to all the women who came before, blazed the trail, paved a path, worked and sacrificed to make this now here space where I am one where I can live this privileged life. To all the bodacious, courageous, bad ass women, thank you and I vow today to continue to live a life that will make you proud How are you celebrating today? Peace

You cannot love what you do not appreciate, and fear makes appreciation impossible . Whenever you are afraid of what you are, you do not appreciate it and will therefore reject it. As a result, you will teach rejection . ACIM Today is the beginning of Lent.  Lent is the period of 40 days which comes before Easter in the Christian calendar. Beginning on Ash Wednesday, Lent is a season of reflection and  preparation  before the celebrations of Easter. By observing the 40 days of Lent, Christians replicate Jesus Christ's sacrifice and withdrawal into the desert for 40 days. They do this by literally "giving up" something. Growing up, most people around me would give up meat and alcohol - just goes to show much we love our wine and swine!  As I grew older I completely ignored Lent and giving up anything In my house it was not strictly observed however in school and the neighbourhood, people would be strictly observing and making sacrifices within t...

A useful thing to ask is 'when and how did I get this belief?' We tend to automatically defend our ideas without ever really questioning them . - The School of Thought Keeping an open mind is one of the most challenging things to do in a world that promotes group think and judging others based on material possessions, religious beliefs and what's in fashion. People have started huge disagreements over differing beliefs, some even escalating to legal battles between families and friends and bad blood which goes on for generations. We all have beliefs and opinions, some different to others, I believe in live and let live, I may never agree with your view, and you with mine. That does not mean that I must feel the need to convert you to my own view and vice versa. I pray that we can be open minded enough to listen long enough to learn something from another point of view even if the lesson is to continue to share a different opinion. I pray that we can allow another pe...

Everything without a single exception is mindset- shift it - Neale Donald Walsh Today is Carnival Monday in Trinidad and Tobago. The ritual begins with a procession through the streets starting at 4am, with mud and paint and music, and fun. It really is very hard to describe. The joy that I feel on a Jouvert morning is unparalleled. To see people dancing in the streets, jumping, hugging and just being happy brings me joy. Then the sun comes up to top it off! Jouvert starts the beginning of two days of revellery and fun. Many people see it as a wanton waste of time and money, others see it as a time of high creativity and fun times It all starts in the mind Today is the beginning of the greatest two days in my country's calendar I am grateful to be a part of it Peace

Yesterday is only meant to be lived once We all make mistakes. We stumble, fall down, and get some bumps and bruises along the way. It’s something we share with all humanity, from our greatest enemies to our favorite heroes. But the difference between which we become more alike is what we bring with us from yesterday into today. What is it, exactly, that you are carrying? Our enemies bring the hurt and carry all the pain it caused. The mess ups, the fears , the creeping doubt that because we fell once, we are doomed to fall again and again. The more we focus on what happened, the more we spiral downwards into ourselves, where the only thing that is created today is more of the regrets of yesterday. When we live in the past mistakes, we cannot escape them; we don’t give ourselves a chance at doing differently today at all, because we are holding onto the chains of exactly what we did before. We just relive things that can’t hurt us anymore except in the choices we make right now. ...