Healing Requires Feeling

 Healing is about feeling, not about thinking Yung Pueblo




One of the best, yet toughest lessons for me has been to "feel all of your feelings". It sounded so simple at the time - simple ain't always easy.

The formula for healing always start with feeling. For us to move past where we are we must ask ourselves. What Am I feeling in the moment? And have the appropriate language and courage to respond.

"Okay" is not a feeling, it is not an emotion. it is a mental or emotional bypass. In other words, I don't want to/need to think about this or make myself vulnerable to it, so I will pass right by it with saying I am "ok"

Normal is not a feeling. Normal is similar to okay, an opportunity to side step.

Fine - our usual standard. We always seem to be fine.

The quicker we start pretending to be unbothered, the quicker we start healing.

I had a habit of hiding my feelings, I am not entirely certain when that began, but I am sure about when it ended.

I wanted to be liked, I wanted to be seen as a person in control. I wanted to be in control. I also did not know how to feel, how to say how I felt, how to feel these feelings without losing  "control" so, as soon as something came up that sent me into an uncomfortable place, 

Who likes feeling uncomfortable? That signaled to me that there is a problem to be solved, something to fix, not something to sit with, get curious about and learn from.

What started to happen? Life started saying to me, your feelings are stuck in your body, they are buried there and it needs attention.

I could not heal, it was like having a wound and picking it, bouncing it as I went about my everyday life. When it was hit or picked, I continued to fix, look for "solutions", to ignore and deny. The wound could not heal.

Feelings are guides, they indicate where you are in the moment. they will not last unless you hold on to them,. If you deny them they will ask to be seen and felt.

Feel First.

Feel it all.

Then and only then can real movement take place.

There is no way we can continuously manipulate or control what is happening outside of us when it is not going the way we want it to. We can only face ourselves and respond in the best way that we know how. If we move directly towards fixing, manipulating and controlling we miss the opportunity to feel.

I have started inviting the feeling in, asking it questions, writing it down and leaving all judgement out of the equation.

It is a work in progress. Feel it and let it go!

Peace

Akosua's Books 

Nyabo(Madam) Why Are You Here?

Now What? The Flipside

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on The Journey to Unconditional Love




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