The Unknown Holds Possibilities

 Trying to stay the same is painful and trying to mold everything the way you desire is impossible. Yung Pueblo



What is the difference between resisting change and keeping a routine?

That has been my question during meditation this week.

Confessions on the Journey - change scares the be Jesus out of me for so many reasons - many of which are stories that I have made up. 

I feel safe when things remain the same, when I know what to expect, what is coming- this is the story that I tell myself. Knowing makes me feel safe.

For a long time I have been associating change with feeling abandoned, being abandoned and a lack of safety  therein lies the challenge.

Routine I have learnt is the creation  and maintenance of habits, those habits become how you live - I basically have the same morning routine . I wake up at 5am, meditate. Drink a lot of water. Have a big chuck of watermelon, take a run. Drink some green juice. Eat as healthy as I can. (bake  tho! & Anella’s bread!!)  Read something uplifting.

I’m not trying to win an award for being the best vegetarian, I just want to be healthy. body and soul. I’m blessed to do anything I want so I decide to take the best care of my body and soul in the same way. Holistically. Vitally. Purposefully. Lovingly. And have some fun with it. This is a routine, a habit that has become a lifestyle and I feel safe doing it.

Does this mean that if I have to pivot due to now being able to keep this routine  it sends me reeling? No, I am able to change relatively easy because I know eventually I can come back to the routine I have designed or create a new routine.

The change that scares me includes changes in relationships, moving house, jobs - the big stuff! I feel unsafe when there is uncertainty, when I am unable to fix or control it, when I am not chosen.

I have learnt that affirmations, doing small changes in other areas of my life and changing the stories to remind myself that "I am safe, it is only change" have been helping me to navigate the change.

I am also learning that the unknown holds possibilities as much as it holds uncertainty. That there are lessons yet to be learnt from change and being chosen is a shaky ground to stand on as an indicator of my worth.

Peace and Blessings

Akosua's Books


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