What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

“How would your life be different if…You stopped allowing other people to dilute or poison your day with their words or opinions? Let today be the day…You stand strong in the truth of your beauty and journey through your day without attachment to the validation of others”  Steve Maraboli Be someone that brings something to the table. Be a person who expresses. Have thoughts. Share your energy. Stand your ground. And for the love of sunsets and puppy dogs - hold an opinion.  have an opinion . share your opinion. Do not coil down.  Do not retract. Do not always remain in such an area of gray that you lose your distinction. Stand for something. Stand for lots of things. And don't be afraid to share it. When you find yourself without opinions it's typically out of a need for someone's approval. It comes from a place of wanting to be affirmed because you agree with whomever is around you. How often are you muting your opinion? Sometimes, this is s...

Settling is a story. What shows up in your life is in direct proportion to what you believe you deserve. The universe responds to the vibration of your truth (even when you aren't admitting it to yourself). Stacey Hererra  I am a fan of Stacey, she drops some gems there that has me thinking! She advocates for the whole taking responsibility for your life, and by now you would know I am a fan of that Before, it used to freak me out. how could I want to be in a shit hole or go through hell. then I figured it out, responsibility involves not only involves my ability to respond but also what I thought about myself and what I deserve. The other beautiful thing is once I pay attention to the happenings in my life which mirror back to me what I believe and going further what I believe I deserve I can make the necessary shifts in my mindset. How empowering is that? Changing my mindset, changing my beliefs, taking responsibility and doing the work can make a whole heap of a differenc...

A new fantastic point of view -  A Whole New World I was sitting out on the porch doing my usual morning ritual, writing my gratitude list. I walked out on the porsh this morning in a  pensive mood, thinking about what else do I need to do to achieve the life that I want to live, what's missing, what am I doing wrong, what am I doing right? As I sat down and picked up the pen, I starting writing out what I was greatful for and trust me, the feeling of joy just washed all over me after the first line that I wrote which was " I give thanks for the yummy piece of fish that I just ate which my friends left over from the meeting on Saturday" that was it!  That simple gesture got me thinking about all the other little things that I take for granted but bring me joy. Then I started reflecting on the many many times that the Universe got me, every bind that I found myself in, the times when I was living in Manchester, knowing no one in the City and had no clue where I wou...

L ift your head up high and scream out to the world I know I am someone, and let the truth unfurl No one can hurt you now because you know what's true Yes, I believe in me, so do believe in you    Micheal Jackson Wanna Be Startin Something I've been reading wirks by John Randolph Price since the year began, and boy oh boy, it's been a head trip! The fundamental lesson I took away from his work is that we are abundant beings who, if only we believe that with every fibre of our being, we will be okay! That simple! No one can take it away from us, unless we let them through our doubts It cannot be replaced, unless through our choice It remains there forever For a recovering  "not enougher" this is radical! You mean to say, I have it all already and anything that I add on is a bonus? You really mean to say that I have really been in my own way comparing and competing for the same thing I already have? Nah man! And of course, when these theories are tested ...

You still have too much faith in the body as a source of strength. What plans do you make that do not involve its comfort or protection or enjoyment in some way? ACIM It never fails, I have a thought in my mind, sometimes I believe it is random or makes no sense and then I would either be minding my own business or reading something in the morning and something "pops" up to make me think about it more in depth I was standing in the kitchen this morning about to make breakfast. I thought, why oh why do I spend so much time thinking about food, eating, not eating, how what I eat affects my body, did I exercise, am I eating healthy yada yada yada. it just seems to be on my mind all the time Can I think about something else? I decided to make some oats, that was an even bigger decision after realising that the microwave went on the bomb and I had to use the stove - very rare situation!  So I wasn't even sure why I decided to take that option. As I sat ea...

Lack, limitation and restriction, whether real or imagined are all forms of suffering that can be eliminated through awareness, acceptance, acknowledgement and action - Iyanla How many times has our thinking got us in trouble? Think about it? There are times that we think ourselves into a sticky situation because of fear and worry Our thoughts are so powerful, it is the precursor of things to come, it really is true, change your mind, change your life. There are so many situtations of people who have been in situations, unbelivable situations, Nelson Mnadela in jail, as one example, where he remained focused on what he wanted rather than what he did not want. Focusing on the wants puts us in a mindset to move forward, to meet the challenges knowing that the obstacles are part of the journey. Acceptance brings us to the realisation that our thoughts may be all over the place, at the same time, owning it is the way we can change or even transcend it. When we deny, there can b...

To teach is to demonstrate - ACIM We can only teach that which we demonstrate. I also believe that we teach what we need to learn. You can't always know how best the Univese will put you to use, you don't even have a clue! When we limit ourselves thinking that we know we block out so many possibilities. Some of our most harowing moments are teachable moments, are moments which happen to help you change not only yourself, but the world around you. How many times have you heard about the worst tragedies being used by others to propel themselves into a whole other level? How many times we use what happened to us to change, to transform? When we ask "what's the lesson here?' it transforms the situation into a useful one When we ask "why me?" it compunds the victim mentality So let us not decieve ourselves by thinking the people who are succesful or those who have bounced back are "lucky" or have "the right conditions", it is ma...

You can’t leap from hurt to clarity, or from anger to absolution. You have to walk there, one revelatory, resentful, intentional step at a time. Forced or feigned forgiveness can derail the healing process. When we fake-forgive someone, the camouflaged hurt will unearth itself eventually. And by then, it’s been festering and there’s an even bigger mess to clean up. Seething resentment, dragging up the past, blowing a fuse because your partner said that precise thing that clearly indicates that they haven’t changed in the least since you last reamed them out for not changing. Danielle La Porte Sometimes we just aren't ready! Admitting that would save us a lot of time and effort. Rather than lie to ourselves or make excuses, it is much more productive to take the time to get ready! Because, trust me, when we are ready, nothing stops us Being ready starts with a decision, an intention. Sounds simple doesn't it? Yes, it really is just that simple. Your unwavering c...

Guilt is always disruptive - ACIM This weekend I did absolutelt nothing, I woke up, ate, slept, read a bit and slept again. Considering the month that I have had I felt it was quite necessary to recharge and reboot. In the middle of my blissful slumber - confessions on the journey, I started feeling guilty. You know the type of feeling like " am I really wasting all this time?" and "am I really doing absolutely nothing for two entire days?" that feeling lasted for about twenty minutes! Luckily I managed to convinve myself that guilt is a wasted emotion and rest is part of the work! Iyanla Vanzant says it best, take a pause, take a rest, stop jumping from one thing to another without pausing. Even airplanes pause before they take off on their journey so who are we? We move from thing to thing without reflecting, recharging, rebooting because someone or society has said to us being still and resting is weak, it is better to work your tailbone off and rest when...

“We must not be defined by what we do, but we must be what and who we are, then only happen to do what we do!” C Joy Bell I have a poster up at my house which serves as a daily reminder, it says "Do Something Everyday Which Will Make You Happy". I figured that every day adds up, if I do one thing daily to make myself happy it can add to the quality of my life. To do that I had to get to know myself a little better. What do I like to do? What makes me happy? What brings me joy? Simple questions but somehow I paid very little attention to it whilst "living" and so now that I am very familiar with I do my level best to take my own advice Sometimes it is the simplest things 1. Waking up at 5am to go on the roof to see the colours of the sun rise 2. Walking in the grass outside with no shoes 3. Eating a juicy piece of watermelon 4. Watching Arsenal Footbal Club play 5. Speaking to my grandma on nothing and everything 6. Curling up with a good book and a cup of...

“When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated. This is why we sometimes attack who they are, which is far more hurtful than addressing a behavior or a choice .”  Brene Brown Setting Boundaries, having boundaries, executing boundaries- one of the most challenging things for me to do!  There have been times when I find myself in situations where people have overstepped my own boundaries but guess what? I never say nothin! I've figured it out that my silence is due to 1. not wanting to cause a conflict 2. wanting to be liked 3. not wanting to look fussy or "miserable" 4. giving others a "second chance"  5. rewinding of old tapes 5. thinking I am making a big issue out of a small issue Almost every time it reaches to a point where things get sticky and blow up!  What is a boundary? Boundaries  are the physical, emotional and mental limits we establish to protect ourselves from being manipulated, used...

“ Intuition is a sense of knowing how to act spontaneously, without needing to know why. ” Sylvia Care Life gives us so many clues and chances, hardly ever is there  something that happens "immediately"  we always get some tyoe of signal, the question is what do you do with the signals? Do we pay attention? Do we ignore? Do we listen? Do we act on the signals? I have learnt that paying attention to the signals is an important part of living a whole life! Ignoring them can at times be disastrous! Be it, A pain in your shoulder A nagging feeling about someone you cannot put your finger on A long lasting cough Call it intuition, call is signs whatever you call it, trust me, paying attention to it will turn out well for you  What are some of the signs that you have been neglecting and ignoring?

Hey there don't you know? there's an isle with a style and a wind that sings a calypso - David Rudder This morning we had a ball, at about 4am we hit the streets of Port of Spain for the ritual called Jouvay! It is, for me, the most freedom I feel.period! We party hard! I stopped in to say hi and spread some Jouvay vibes with y'all If you can ever experience a Trinidad Carnival, I highly recommend it, and I am not being biased Peace

    Ask and it shall be given you, because it has already been given. Ask for light and learn that you are light. ACIM It's Carnival in Trinidad and Tobago, the land of my birth, no description can do this time justice. One has to witness and be a part of it, and its like marmite, you either hate it or love it. It culminates with two days of abandonment in the streets where the party is from sun up to sun down! It's a type of freedom which I find unparralled, I have witness it nowhere on my journeys. a vibe that hits you as soon as you touch down on the island, everyone is happy (some are way too happy) everyone wants to party and have fun, Everyone is friendly and accomodating, there are events on every day and every night, creativity is off the chain! I give thanks daily that I have been blessed to witness this explosion of love and creativity And so my posts have been less because I have been immersing myself into the events, the "lime" as we call it, th...

Purpose provides a direction for life; you know what you want to express or achieve and look for ways of doing that. Purpose is different to goals. A purpose relates to the road to be travelled, whereas goals are the stops along the way. When the direction you are taking is significant and worthwhile to you, your life has meaning. Christiana Star Living by the status quo for me is now more difficult based on the choices I have made over the past few years. In this case I am referring to having a 9-5 job and all the trappings associated with it Based on my "situation" after going to financial institutions they ask me "how are you able to live?" And all I can think about is "The Universe provides" but of course, when I mention that there is either an uncomfortable laugh or an uncomfortable silence. This week I went to a financial institution to get information about purchasing a property and was met with the same questions How do you live? You really...

“To love ourselves and support each other in the process of becoming real is perhaps the greatest single act of daring greatly.”  ―  Brené Brown gentle reminder to self: wanting to be liked is hard work & a poor use of energies wanting to be understood is just as much hard work as wanting to be liked wanting to keep others’ “good” opinion of you is overrated why are you Here? not only to be liked you are on a journey, one that you consciously chose to be authentic and show up as yourself every single time, & that walk may inadvertently involve stepping on toes many times unintentionally, especially when new people are met. make all steps with the intention of love and kindness noting that some may interpret this differently you are full of boldness, of courage, of courageous moves, dreams that are too big for some to see, you are full of curiosity, questions, questions, questions & more questions you are so much more than being like...

“Imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we’re all in this together.”-  Brené Brown I have been reading about vulnerability, I get the concept in theory, however when it shows up in real life, it is so different. That feeling of being totally open to and with someone else! I can definitely say it builds strength and strength of character. I  normally ask a lot of questions, I never realised it until a few people pointed it out to me, many times. And so I began to pay attention. I ask for clarity. I do not want to assume. If they do not answer, I can lose my mind, I want what I want when I want. It's a truly uncomfortable feeling to be vulnerable, it opens up all sorts of questions, some of which I am not ready to deal with, some of which I don't even realise are dormant. So here I am, willing to sit in it, to listen, to learn and to move forward. Stay Tuned.... Peace

  Love liberates. Love lifts and Love wants to share itself with everyone it can.   Iyanla   What is your definition of love? Of being in love? Of loving? Do you even have one? There are so many things that we do in the name of love, things that we do and call it love. Are any of them done with your own definition of love in mind? Is there a definition for love or it is just a feeling? For me, it's simple, love makes you feel good, it makes you expand, fills you up to the point of overflowing where you want to share, it is honest and open and true. Anything else is something resembling love. Share with me some of your definitions Peace

In every moment, every possibility is available . . . if not from the material realm, then from the massively abundant dark-matter, or pre-matter. These are the stem-cells of matter; you open their possibilities by opening your beliefs, and reducing your doubts. With doubt, you will struggle, and push, and you may achieve your goals with great effort. Faith on the other hand, uses the leverage of your beliefs, employing the entire supply of these stem cells, to achieve your achievements with ease. Belief is always a mixture . . . it's your imagination mixed together with what you claim is reality . . . this forms what you 'believe' . . . is . . . or can be real. What this reality is -- for you -- then establishes another opinion; draws a new conclusion, and produces an even deeper belief Guru Singh Anytime I approach anything it is with the belief that it is possible. I dwell in possibility. And what that really means to me is when I go in to something, when I start...

Life will work for me when I realize...I am totally, completely and fully responsible for what goes on in my life! One of the greatest challenges in creating a joyful, peaceful and abundant life is taking responsibility for what you do and how you do it! As long as you can blame someone else, be angry with someone else, point the finger at someone or something else, you are not taking responsibility for your life. Sure, things happen! It is absolutely true that the re are situations, circumstances, social constructs and common elements that can and do affect you. It is your responsibility however, to determine HOW and HOW LONG they affect you. Iyanla Vanzant January kicked my arse! I mean it literally pushed me outside every single comfort zone, every single space I considered safe, every single one! I lterally feel tired, like I ran a half marathon. I love the fact that I am still here, I am still grateful for it all but my oh my, I feel tired! So I am going to take a rest ...