What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

  If it costs your peace it's too expensive. During the pandemic, the front lawn was turned into a garden with sweet potatoes, herbs and corn and a few other plants that were easy to maintain. The homeowner's association decided after their meeting that planting a garden was breaking the rules - only lawn grass permitted in common areas and some of the garden flowed into the common area. They sent someone to cut it down. I protested. Who would destroy a food garden in a pandemic given the fact that food security was being questioned. Who in their right mind thought that a garden was "ugly" I made all types and sort of pronouncements, judgements and even accusations. This back and forth went on for a few months and I resisted them getting rid of the garden. Why? I felt that the approach was wrong, highhanded and disrespectful. Yesterday they came and flattened the entire garden, everything was destroyed. I came in just as they were putting the last bits in a heap to b...

  Trusting God’s timing is really an experience and a journey all in one. Blksoltheory How do we know when we are being called upon to be patient or to act? How do we know when we are being called on to sit still? We may have all heard that everything happens when it is supposed to happen. It sometimes is a bitter pill to swallow particularly when we want to see results. When we have put in the work, when we want success and immediately. Patience calls for surrender, for letting go, it calls for faith and trust. All qualities that require not seeing or hearing the tangible. Patience is more than waiting, it is about how we wait. Waiting in anxiety brings about anxiousness. Waiting in peace brings about peace. When we have done all the work, all of the preparation, we must trust, have faith, surrender and let go. The grasping and reaching indicates to the Universe that there is an absolute last of trust., trusting is part of the process. We are called to be patient when we trust th...

  Make sure what you want is not making you a slave - The Naked Poet More and more I am learning that I love simplicity. I love keeping it simple in every area of the way I live. The simpler life becomes, the more I learn that at the essence of it all life is simple and we complicate it mainly through our thoughts and not remembering or recognizing who we are. When we do not know or remember who we are, we make life complicated through: 1 . Having the need to prove, defend and justify many of our actions - the truth needs no defense and there is nothing to prove. 2. Being terrified of making mistakes even though mistakes are part of the human experience. Mistakes can help make masters. 3. Making shame and guilt our masters rather than getting curious when we feel those emotions 4. Not including time and space for gratitude and appreciation - what you appreciate, appreciates. 5. Consistently leaving out of our lives what brings us joy. 6. Continuous negative self talk - what you te...

  If you risk nothing you risk everything . Krishna Darma Risk is defined by Wikipedia In simple terms as  the possibility of something bad happening. Risk involves  uncertainty  about the effects/implications of an activity with respect to something that humans value (such as health, well-being, wealth, property or the environment), often focusing on negative, undesirable consequences. In the financial world, there is a saying that the higher the risk the higher the reward. I say this to myself quite often to remind myself that risk is a part of life. The more risks I take the more rewards will materialize. Of course there is a flip side to this, the higher the risk, the higher the lower the fall.  Risk and uncertainty goes hand in hand. There is no way that we can know every outcome, that we can have guarantees for every situation that we are exposed to. Living just basically involves some type of risk. I have learnt that managing risk is about trusting ...

Sometimes, the healthy thing to do is the bare minimum. The bare minimum is a “minimum” for a reason. A “minimum” is the least possible amount required. It is, in its very essence, enough. Takondwa To be at our peak every single day is a stretch though life calls us forward to show up as our best selves everyday, there are times when our best in the moment will be influenced by so many factors that are out of our control .What if you have a cold? What is you are feeling unwell? What if you have an emotional crisis happening in that particular moment? Many times our situation calls for us to acknowledge rather than deny it. When we embrace where we are, we are able to put the time and effort in doing the best in the moment rather than saying to ourselves that we should be doing better - the moment we bring in should it becomes a judgement. We judge ourselves, taking the focus away from doing our best in the moment. The moment, the now, is all that we have for sure. If we cultivate the ...

  knowing the difference between insight & advice and opportunities & distractions, are major keys in strengthening discernment. The Conjuress Like courage, discernment is another muscle to build through use. When we are comfortable with who we are, with using our intuition, with surrendering, discernment becomes an extremely useful tool in the box of resources required for living. Discernment is the ability to lay hold of truth. to see beyond appearances to that which is obscure and hidden, but divine. Sometimes we are guided towards the truth, towards seeing things as they are rather than what we want them to be. When we ignore, dismiss, deny our discernment muscles are weakened. Discernment requires stillness, it requires trusting ourselves, it requires a level of trust in our divine guidance that can be scary as many times what we are guided to, from, towards and away from makes little logical sense. Dissenting saves us heartache and pain, whether it is romantic or not...

  Most of us have a story about how we got to be the way  we are, about what it's like to be 'us,' and about why it  is so difficult sometimes to get through life. All of this  is stuff that has nothing to do with who we are   now . Neale Donald Walsh  Confessions on the Journey - I  tend to make up stories - not just for a living but particularly when:  1.I am afraid to bring up the discussion  with the other party for fear of being disliked or misunderstood. 2. the conversation in my mind is tough to have. 3. running away from conflict. 4. I am scared of the outcome. 5. I have no control of the outcome and what the other party would say. Note the thread running through my reasons for making up stories? - fear! Fear of rejection, losing control, not being heard, liked and understood. Making up stories means that I create a scene in my head based on worst case scenarios as opposed to facing the  facts and getting the truth. You see, to...

  The Buddha taught not to cling. How do we practise non-clinging? We practise simply by giving up clinging, but this non-clinging is very difficult to understand. It takes keen wisdom to investigate and penetrate this, to really achieve non-clinging. ~ Ajahn Chah During the height of the pandemic, I planted a garden in front of where I live, before the garden it was a well manicured lawn. With the help of the next door neighbor, we cleared the area, planted sweet potato, corn, cassava and lemon grass. I felt quite proud of the effort. Seeing the seeds sprouting, the growth stirred something in me. The trick is, I live on a compound that is run by a management committee. They were not happy with the garden, their preference was a manicured lawn not food. A kitchen garden was, according to them, "ugly". A compost heap was also set up at the side of the house, close to the garden. This was also seen as an eye sore. Totally out of order in a compound with lawn, flowers and man...

  Confidence -  the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something. July is the Journey to Confidence. Every month I set an intention early on in the month to embody a practice or principle  that can support this Journey of Life. Growing up, I always felt self conscious and wondered if I could have done difficult or challenging tasks. My confidence was low. That belief that I could do tough things, amazing things was just a quiet whisper, and - confessions on the Journey - that bothered me. I wanted to go up on a stage and speak, I wanted to approach the teacher and ask questions, I wanted to be heard. I wanted to do amazing things. I simply did not have the faith or belief in my own self. While I was aware that I did not have the loud voice within me urging me to believe, what I did have was the wanting to. I wanted to be confident. This wanting propelled me to find ways to be confident. I started small. I started just doing things that I be...

  Choices are the very fabric of our existence. Everything we do, think, feel, and experience is a function of choice. Iyanla Vanzant ​Choice gives us power.  Choice provides us with a platform to move, to grow, to heal. When we don't make a choice we are living by default, we are giving away our power and our responsibility.  Not making a choice is still a choice. Allowing others to make a choice for you is still a choice. Choices have consequences. The consequences can be lessons or they can be blessings the beautiful thing is that  As long as we have breath we are always free to make another choice. Always remember that as long as you have breath you have choice and that choice is your power Practice it Peace

  Love people. No agenda. Just genuinely love people. Offer your love freely without expecting anything in return - Cleopatra Love without conditions by Paul Ferrrini is one of my favorite books. Paul talks about loving all parts and sides of ourselves leads to loving others with an open mind minus conditions. Sounds simple enough when I read it, putting it into practice is an entirely different story. There was always a question mark on whether loving others would either lead to hurt or (confessions on the Journey) me thinking "are they even worth it?" Now I know this way of thinking comes from how I love my own self. Loving self without judging self takes work. We are sometimes our harshest critics, the way we speak to ourselves when we make mistakes or did not live up to our expectations and when this approach is taken it spills over into the way we treat others. Love people - loving others just because they are human beings - liking and loving are two different things. W...

  ideas live in the mind before we make them real. July.... Confidence to speak the Truth. Confidence to live the Truth. Confidence to take a Stand. Confidence to trust Self. Confidence to Show Up...Real. Confidence to Listen. Confidence to Empathise. Confidence to Learn. Confidence to Share. Confidence to Love. Confidence to Serve. Confidence to Rest. Confidence to Walk Away. Confidence to Stay. Confidence to Feel...All of it. Peace

  Choose the facts that keep you moving in a better direction.  Friends in pain (and we all qualify as friends who are hurtin’,) need love and optimism – critique and prognostication are big fat downers . Danielle La Porte This quote by Danielle La Porte  above arrived to me in divine timing. Recently I found myself getting not just impatient, but annoyed at some of my friend's decision and choices.  I had to ask myself - why am I getting annoyed at other people's decision and business? What about this is sending me to a place of judgement. Part of it, I know is that I care for my friend dearly and want the best for her, part of it - confessions on the Journey- is the negative ego wanting what I want when I want. I decided, after giving it some serious, to show up in love. When I show up in love, the judgement falls away, both self judgement and judging others.  When I show up in love, the negative ego cannot survive. This means that I am able to show empathy, c...