What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

What would happen if, instead of always saying, “I know I need to make a change,” we also sometimes said things like "change is happening in & around me & I know that the big work now is to roll with it." What would it be like then, what would you be seen doing? Jessica Dore January is coming to a close, we dedicated January's journey to authenticity.  In this case, authenticity meant the peeling off of the masks, the decluttering of Self- from lack, fear, doubt, people pleasing, external validation - and showing up wholly, holy and true! This is not a simple nor easy journey. It calls for courage, commitment, self-awareness and self-love. During this month's Journey, my intention was to keep remembering who I was, to allow for me to show up in that way. Here are the top lessons I learnt on the Journey to Authenticity: 1. Always remember who you are and...who you are is who you tell yourself you are. Your self talk plays a huge role on your Journey. What are y...

  The universe’s timing, not yours . Deion To the degree that I give myself excuses for staying unhappy & unloved, that’s the degree to which my life will not work. Most excuses mean there is something we are afraid of underneath. Excuses are the shields we use to hide fear. When you justify your mistakes, you must ask yourself why. Mistakes are part of life, taking responsibility and ownership for them is not the same as justifying them. Peace

 You have to challenge to resistance and your habits - Iyanla During this month, I have been taking the time to join an online course as part of the goals and objectives that I have set for myself in 2022. Confessions on the Journey - it has been quite a test. Why? Firstly, it is in a different time zone, this means that I must be up way past my bedtime, there are times that I am barely awake. The topics take me beyond my comfort zone, they rekindle feelings that I did not even realize that I preferred to forget, ignore and or not deal with. This despite me knowing somewhere in my being that facing and acknowledging them is a way to heal. The methods used during the course are like no other that I have encountered. This level of newness has brought about some self doubt - am I doing it right, am I doing it wrong! Having said all that, it has been such an eye opening experience. The entire experience shifted when I decided to approach everything with an open mind.  There are 2...

  We hold onto material objects because we think they make us feel secure, when in reality they are cluttering our lives. Daily Om Reading this resonated with me, I wanted to share it with you my friends. Peace In life, we tend to have an easier time acquiring possessions than we do getting rid of them. Just as we harbor emotional baggage that is difficult to let go of, our lives can tend to be filled with material objects that we may feel compelled to hold on to. Most people are not conscious of how much they own and how many of their possessions are no longer adding value to their life. They fiercely hold on to material objects because this makes them feel secure or comfortable. While it's true that the ownership of "stuff" can make you feel good for awhile, it seldom satisfies the deep inner longings that nearly everyone has for fulfillment and satisfaction. It is only when we are ready to let go of our baggage and be vulnerable that it becomes possible to recognize t...

 Transactions including material transactions will not determine who you are - Sadguru Many of my peers particularly from school view success as what has been earned through gaining an education and a career. Many of them believe that if we have all the comforts and access to them, including a netwrk of people with decision making power, we would have achieved, we would be able to surmount the challenges that are faced. I also believed this for a very long time in my life. I also believed that being a "good person" I would be spared from hurt and pain. Where did I get these beliefs? I am not entirely sure. What I have learnt is, sometimes beliefs with the best of intentions which are accepted with no enquiry may not be in our best interests. I have also learnt that if these beliefs are status quo, the norm or family rituals, when one questions those beliefs, it may cause upheaval. Question them anyway, be curious about them anyway. Why? The freedom beyond the initial upheava...

  One of the gifts of learning how to have compassion for yourself is that you start to learn to give yourself more chances, more grace & understanding... You learn that you don't just have one opportunity to figure things out... You have plenty... And that makes all the difference. Koleka Putuma Life is in session - all the time. Think about it. Every day some one is born, someone dies. Art, music and poetry is created. Seasons change, people change. One thing we know for sure...bet safely on change. Yet, many of us have so many challenges with change, with learning something different, doing something different to what we are doing now. I can say, I love consistency, I love sameness- there are times where I cling on to the sameness, the consistency and resist change. I continue to strive for a balance. Consistency can be a strength when used in balance, when not, it keeps me resisting change. And the spiral begins. Guilt, shame, lack of compassion and grace to SELF! Simply ...

  As unimportant as "you time" can sometimes seem, it truly is crucial to your well-being because it ensures that you are never left without the energy to give of yourself. Daily OM Many of us feel guilty to take time off our busy schedules for ourselves. Mothers in particular, find it sometimes even harder as they have little people depending on them. In our capitalist society, there are companies that look favorably on employees who take no days off when they are unwell, or holidays - they are seen as stellar employees, taking one for the team and all round great employees. Why does a work matter seem more urgent, more important than taking time for ourselves? Why does taking care of everyone's needs seem more urgent than taking care of our own? Some say "well it's urgent isn't it? My needs are not urgent". What if they are? What if taking time for yourself makes all the difference in your health, your creativity, your wellness? What if? Within each o...

  We don't live a life, we live a pattern - Dr Shefali Tsabary The first time I heard this I shouted "Yes!!" It resonated with me on so many levels. So many of us live according to what we see, what have been handed down through our families and what society deem ought to happen. And sometimes there may be merit to that and life moves along swimmingly, however there are so many times that the pattern is not for us. The pattern does not lead to authentic lives. When the pattern does not fir into our authenticity and true selves, discovering this and living that out loud causes discomfort not only for us, but from our family and society who passed on the patterns that they believe worked for them. What are the patterns passed on to you in this life that you live which no longer serve you? Marriage is for ladies Boys should not cry Mixed couples are non Same sex couples are non Stay married despite - make the sacrifice for the kids Go to University Work at one job until you ...

  People that want to control others are, at the core, consumed with their own fears and projecting those fears onto others. Daily Om I was reading a post on controlling behavior this week and I started thinking about my own relationship with control. Confessions on the Journey, I love to be in control,  humans on the whole and we don't even  think of how we behave as wanting and needing control. We go to extremes to remain in control- even to the point of unhealthy actions. We want to know what will happen before it is over. We want others to follow and agree with us. We want our children to listen to our way. We want to know what the exact plan is. We want to leave nothing to "chance". People express shock and horror when someone responds with "I don't know".  Why are we so obsessed with control? There is need of course, for a certain level of control in our lives. Control of our bodies, our minds, our choices. Other than that, what are we really wanting t...

  We need to give ourselves permission to feel and express everything within our being. Sabrina Reber I have learnt that our feelings are guides, they give us valuable and necessary information on the journey. When we ignore the guides, we get lost. We give away our power. When we do not express our feelings, they remain stuck in and on our body. It bleeds out in so many different ways, anger, blame, illness to name a few. On the flip side there is also bleeding out through passive aggressive actions, complacency and denial. For us to live an authentic life, we must feel our feelings. We must be willing to spend some time in the discomfort knowing that this too shall pass, that going through is the only way of getting through. Make it an intention to identify what you feel. This does not mean you must act on them or live in the funk. It merely signals to yourself that you acknowledge where you are with no denial and judgement. That simple act gives you the power to make a choice t...

  Even as it appears that some people have it easy while others are in a continual state of struggle, the truth is that we are all learning, and it is very difficult to tell, when looking only at the exterior of a person, what's going on inside.  Daily Om Do You Compare Yourself to Others and Why?  I read somewhere that comparing ourselves to others is a form of violence. It seemed quite harsh and extreme at the time when I read it, I laughed actually. Like how can comparing myself to another be inflicting violence on myself? Having thought about it some more and here is the clincher - compared myself to others, I now fully understand the reference. When we compare ourselves to others we usually do it through what we see outwardly reflected by the other person or situation. Be it social media, television, in person. Many times we are unaware of the backstory- the challenges, triumphs, obstacles and thinking of the person. we look on and our feelings come to the fore, thos...

  Work out to calm the mind. Meditate to reset the mind. Write to structure the mind. Create to get peace of mind. Orange Book Everything starts in the mind and thoughts become things. When our thoughts, words and actions align there is magic. The magic begins with thinking it. So the question "what are we thinking?" is extremely relevant. If our mind is racing, if it is in control of us, our lives will reflect this. If we are thinking one thing, saying another and acting totally out of sync, it confuses the Universe and confuses You! Keep it consistent. This is what I have learnt, 1. Meditation helps, it is a process where we can allow the thoughts to pass like waves to the shore. The challenge is when we latch on to a thought, we give it life and as the law works, it shows up in our life as a thing. Practice meditation. 2. Replace destructive thoughts when they come up using affirmations. I started off with cancel cancel, then I moved on to different affirmations to inter...

  We create our reality with our intentions — whether or not we are aware of what they are . Gary Zukav Iyanla Vanzant defines Intent as the state of unstated expectation. The cause of all results. The subconscious motivation of all action. What struck me most about this definition is the cause of all results. If our intent causes our results and we don't pay attention to what our intentions are, this would be reflected in our lives. What is your deepest intent? Your expectation that you have not stated out loud, as you navigate this journey called life? My deepest intent is to live a full life that is full of love, abundance, discipline and laughter. How that looks on a daily business I have no clue, all I know is I am showing up with the intent of living in this way in every thing that I do.  Peace Download Free - From Intentions to Actions

 Keeping it Real -  Not being fake or influenced. Being true to yourself and your values, but more importantly, being true to  innate  values that all people acknowledge as respectable. Not  frontin , or inhibiting yourself or pretending to be something your not; but also not following dominant values that should not be acceptable. The Urban Dictionary  Growing up, my friends and I would play a game called "When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong"  We would enact these skits where we would show up real saying what is on our mind, no hold bards and pretend that what we said goes wrong with sound effects and consequences. We would laugh our faces off.  Fast forward to the present , I am  now well aware that keeping it real can only go wrong in our heads. We tell ourselves the stories of doom and gloom, what could go wrong, how we can prove the other person wrong or justify our actions. Keeping it real, according to the definition above,  kee...

  Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen . Brene Brown  Authentic choices becomes easier when you know and accept all of you. All parts of yourself. Acceptance may not mean liking it, it may just mean that you will not judge, criticise or hide those parts of yourself in shame and hurt. There are parts of us that we reject because of reasons such as our parents and families believe that it will not support us in our growth and development. For example, our parents wants us to have a different career path to the one we know we want. We make inauthentic choices when we believe that society may reject the choice and make life difficult for us. To avoid the discomfort and challenges, we conform, we hide, we dim our light. Eventually it catches up with us and our lives reflect these choices. Choices to fit in that go against who we ar...

  Each and every person comes into this life as a unique expression of Source consciousness. This means each person comes in with a unique essence, like an energetic signature. We come in with a unique purpose, along with unique thoughts, feelings, desires and needs. All this and our role within the greater universe is embedded in our essence. Teal Swan Authenticity is a word that is used quite often especially for those on a Journey to Self. My definition of authenticity is being true to one's self, showing up knowing that there is never a need to prove one's self to anyone, to justify your decisions especially when the guidance given is from Source, from intuition. Authenticity is being courageous particularly when living in this world where being different is not celebrated. Human beings want to be liked, to be celebrated. As children, we are rewarded for being "good" and so we take this into adulthood. Many times we ignore, deny or hide our unique selves to be acc...

"you deserve to bloom unapologetically this year" Dead Poet Hello my friends, blessings and more blessings for 2022, this new cycle called a year. I have been travelling over the past ten days, taking the time to refresh and renew. I love this season, the days are shorter, the evenings are longer, depending on where I go, the pace of life slows down. I take the opportunity to count the blessings and the lessons which unfolded during the year and prepare for the upcoming cycle. I decide on how I want to live, how I want to feel, how I want to show up. These feelings inform how I act, how I be! New beginnings are a time to reset, to dream, to commit to yourself. They really provide an opportunity to see how we are contributing to this wondrous universe, using the  unique gifts to which we have been given. When we forget, neglect, dishonour and ignore the gifts and divine guidance, life reflects this back to us, we continue to struggle and wonder why. Then we start making justif...