Dear September

 A few years ago the month of  September  would bring about anxious moments. September represented the last quarter, winter was on the horizon and so was a brand new year. I used the beginning of the month to review the goals that I set for the year. If there was less ticks on the page to denote goals achieved, I would go into a mode of achievement by any means necessary. That  may have included neglecting self care, family time and anything else that got in the way of  achieving these goals. The achievement of goals was the barometer for my success.

When my life changed, this level of achievement, goal setting and getting ticks on a page meant nothing to me. In fact I stopped setting goals for a few years after life changed. I reckoned that it just did not make me happy nor did it contribute to any joy (extreme much!)

A few years ago, I started doing goals in a different way, I based  my goals on how I wanted to feel and focused on doing events to contribute to feelings the feelings I I identified. Joy, abundance, Fun, Love, Contentment, Gratitude. What would lead me to these feelings?

I also included monthly check in's based on what feelings I desired. This reduced so much anxiety. Every month I spent time on the first day thinking about the feelings I desired over this month, what are the activities I must do that can support these feelings and what are the activities'  I want to do to feel those feelings.

This month, I felt a pang on anxiety, I felt that because over the pandemic, I have been neglecting how I want to feel with a focus on staying positive, dealing with the changes that are in front of me.

As I sat with those feelings, I wrote in my journal the feelings that I want to feel. I wrote what I am grateful for despite. The anxiety made way for  a feeling of calmness, a knowling that whatever happens I am and will be ok.

It's amazing how we let our thoughts terrorize us, forgetting that we have the power to change our minds, and replace those terror thoughts.

Happy September

Peace