In the Pause you get to choose

nothing has to happen immediately, this minute,  or "right now." It's okay to pause for just a moment. Just take a breath. Then go quietly inside. Ask Life Itself to lead you to your best outcome. There's nothing you have to do, really, except get out of your own way ... Neale Donald Walsh 



It's been 2 years today since my beloved granma Sheils transitioned. I remember her fondly not only because she had the best stories and lived to see 89 years of what this world had to offer, she was a ball of wisdom and shared it freely. There were times we would collectively groan when she would unleash one of her wisdom bombs when we least expected it or wanted it. In hindsight, it was always right on time. She was one of the most open minded and funny people I have ever met.

She would always say the only thing urgent is my next breath because if I don't have it I am dead and gone. I would always laugh and say Sheils you live in your own world rather than the real world.

I now fully subscribe to her philosophy, the matters I once consider urgent I laugh at it, sometimes I shake my head at it. Steeped in many of those urgencies was the need to prove that I was efficient, intelligent, trustworthy and easy to be liked. So many of it was to prove something.

We asked the doctors at the hospital to take Sheils home to celebrate her birthday, she asked to be at home. They explained to us that she is on her last and in excruciating pain, we would need to be held accountable for the morphine being given and know that there may not be a chance of her returning to the hospital. We took the risk as no one wanted to go against her last wishes.

She showed all of us that the only urgency was being there, as it may involve her last breath. From that moment on, I redefined to me what urgency is, what I had to do right now and why.

There is no need to prove, deny myself, deny my health, feel the need to please in the actions I now take and make. I can pause for a moment, I can always pause for a moment. In the pause I get to choose.

Peace 

Akosua's Books

Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?

Now What? The Flipside

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love


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