My Definition of Forgiving of Self

 When we can’t forgive ourselves, we remain imprisoned and separate from our world. Tara Brach




On this Journey of mine to love myself unconditionally, a recurring theme from all the books, guru's people I have met and spiritual coaches is about forgiving ourselves first. Before any attempt is made to do, to be, to fix- forgive self first!

I always wondered about that because in my mind, well what did I do wrong that requires me to forgive myself? My ego was screaming to me that there is nothing you have done that requires you to forgive yourself. I feel for it. I fell for the ego trip and truth be told that had me stuck!

I kept the focus on others, wanting them to say sorry, wanting to show them that they were wrong, out of order, they did a number on me. That energy kept me in a space of blaming, victim hood and ego tripping.

What I have learnt since changing my perspective is forgiveness goes beyond someone saying sorry and acknowledging that they did something to hurt, offend and harm you. Forgiveness is giving up the need for the past to be different to make you feel better about yourself, about what happened. Its a form of radical acceptance of what is. It is letting go of hurt, resentment and anger. When I realised that is what forgiveness was, everything changed.  

Forgiveness is really about me- how I release the feelings associated with the event that happened. Forgiving myself is saying to myself - yes this happened, it did, I did not like it, however it happened, I cannot change it so now what?

Now that it has happened and I cannot change it, what is the thing that I do now to move forward, learn and release

This is my definition of forgiving myself. I have been practicing. Changing habits take time and can be challenging. I am committed to taking my power back and forgiving Self is one of the most impactful ways to do this.

Give it a go!

Peace and Blessings

Akosua's Books

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