My Definition of Forgiving of Self

 When we can’t forgive ourselves, we remain imprisoned and separate from our world. Tara Brach




On this Journey of mine to love myself unconditionally, a recurring theme from all the books, guru's people I have met and spiritual coaches is about forgiving ourselves first. Before any attempt is made to do, to be, to fix- forgive self first!

I always wondered about that because in my mind, well what did I do wrong that requires me to forgive myself? My ego was screaming to me that there is nothing you have done that requires you to forgive yourself. I feel for it. I fell for the ego trip and truth be told that had me stuck!

I kept the focus on others, wanting them to say sorry, wanting to show them that they were wrong, out of order, they did a number on me. That energy kept me in a space of blaming, victim hood and ego tripping.

What I have learnt since changing my perspective is forgiveness goes beyond someone saying sorry and acknowledging that they did something to hurt, offend and harm you. Forgiveness is giving up the need for the past to be different to make you feel better about yourself, about what happened. Its a form of radical acceptance of what is. It is letting go of hurt, resentment and anger. When I realised that is what forgiveness was, everything changed.  

Forgiveness is really about me- how I release the feelings associated with the event that happened. Forgiving myself is saying to myself - yes this happened, it did, I did not like it, however it happened, I cannot change it so now what?

Now that it has happened and I cannot change it, what is the thing that I do now to move forward, learn and release

This is my definition of forgiving myself. I have been practicing. Changing habits take time and can be challenging. I am committed to taking my power back and forgiving Self is one of the most impactful ways to do this.

Give it a go!

Peace and Blessings

Akosua's Books

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

30 Things I Believe

Image
What is being of service? Looking upon another human being with kindness and compassion and not judgement is a profound act of service and though such a form of service lacks for whistles and bells, this expression of “service” comes from truly understanding the power of your soul and what it means to “look upon another with eyes of grace.” Carolyn Myss 1. I believe in sleep 2. I believe that love can cure it all  3. I believe in feeling my feelings 4. I believe that nature is my best teacher 5. I believe that friends are family minus blood lines 6. I believe that discipline and consistency combined with talent  can and will can create miracles 7. I believe in following my intuition 8. I believe that rest is part of the Journey 9. I believe in that all things are lessons that God will have us learn 10. I believe in choosing the people around you with care 11. I believe that vacations can reboot creativity  12. I believe in joy - doing what brings you joy - and often 13
Read more

What Does Support Look Like to You?

Image
  You save yourself energy when you learn to ask people what they need, instead of assuming you know best then acting on your own impulses. Allowing people to define what support looks like gives you an ability to assess if you have the capacity to show up - Minaa B If someone asks you right now, what does support look like to you, what would be your answer? It takes self reflection , self awareness and more importantly a whole load of authenticity to answer. On the flip side, do you rush to support others without them even asking- there may be times when that is required, however many a time we assume that we know what others want and need. The times when we do assume, after a while a feeling of resentment builds because "how could they be so ungrateful?" or "why are they not seeing their need for my help?" the other classic is "they must need my help to show them because they clearly are not seeing that they need support" We continue to assume what othe
Read more

Sensible Optimism

Image
  Optimism is usually defined as a belief that things will go well. But that's incomplete. Sensible optimism is a belief that the odds are in your favor, and over time things will balance out to a good outcome even if what happens in between is filled with misery. And in fact you  know  it will be filled with misery. You can be optimistic that the long-term growth trajectory is up and to the right, but equally sure that the road between now and then is filled with landmines, and always will be. Those two things are not mutually exclusive." Who told us that all the roads on the Journey of life will be smooth and bump free? And even if you knew or remember who told you, why did you believe it given what you know? What if the blessing, what if the growth, what if the joy is found on the rocky bumpy road? What if? And if it is, we can rest easier that the bumps and rocky roads are designed with us in mind, designed for us to grow, to learn, to live a life that is filled with varie
Read more