So what is Self Esteem?

 So what is self-esteem? And what does it mean to have a healthy dose of it?Well, in short, self-esteem is the beliefs you hold about yourself. Healthy self-esteem means accepting yourself for who you are, warts and all. Stacey Hererra



Sharing below a piece from Stacey Hererra that resonated with me

"Self-esteem = seeing yourself as a flawed person, and still holding yourself in high regard."

But most of us don't have self-esteem. We have what Terry Real describes as:

Other-based-esteem: where we rely solely on other people for our sense of worth. "I am as worthy as they think I am."

or

Attribute-based-esteem: where we focus on the tangible parts of ourselves, such as our appearance or accomplishments. "I am worthy because of what I have."

or

Performance-based-esteem: where we rely on the things we do or achieve to determine our value and worth. "I am as worthy as what I can do."

But none of these are accurate.

Healthy self-esteem comes from within, not to be confused with self-love." 

After reading this, my eyes, ears and mouth opened! Confessions on the Journey- I still so base my sense of worth on a combination of performance and others, and here is the thing - there is NO need for me or any of us to do this.

Why? Well for starters, its exhausting, and unsustainable. People change their mind all the time and there are times for different reasons we cannot complete a task or perform at our peak as we did before. Does that mean that we are less worthy?  Does that mean the next time we must prove to others that we are worthy?

Hell no

Your worth has nothing to do with what you have, or what you do

Your worthy because you are here, alive and breathing. It really is that simple. You determine who you want to be based on your worthiness which comes from being alive. Its an untangling and a process to remind yourself and remember that you are worth it, you are enough!

Many of us get disappointed because others did not complement us, we made mistakes at work and many other external factors- these are lessons, guideposts - they do not determine our value, our worth- that my friends, is an inside job!

Peace

Akosua's Books

Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?

Now What? The Flipside

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love


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