What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

  Newsflash: Anger is spiritual too. Anger does two things: responds to real threats in your environment, or lets us know when a boundary has been crossed. The only time anger is unhealthy is when it is not expressed in the present . Your Spiritual Mermaid  I was scheduled to travel to Namibia on Monday morning. So excited, I was I could hardly sleep, the taxi was arranged to pick me up at the hotel at 5AM, I checked in online the night before (as you do with all that excitement) and waited to fly 2 hours to Nambia. It would be my first time in that country. The taxi collected me, I checked in, got my boarding pass and as I was about to take my laptop out to scan a representative of the airline asked me to step out of the line as I was being flagged. He asked me if I had a visa.  "A visa?" "No sir!" "You need a visa to go to Nambia madam" "Can I not get it there?" "No maam" "Step out of the line and come with me" Now I was kic...

Today is a good day to learn, today is a good day to die - Prisoner on Robben Island   And just like that I have been in Cape Town South Africa for the past eight days. The Conference came to a spectacular close with a celebration and an opportunity to reflect on what was discussed and learned during the week, The last day offered another opportunity to meet in small groups to discuss innovative ways of philantropy and measurement of what works in giving grants to grassroots organisations and feminists/ Immediately after the last session  on Friday, I rushed out to catch the views at sunset at Cape Point - This is where the Indian and Atlantic Ocean meet,  to see the pengiuns at Boulder Bay.  Natural beauty and landscapes speak to me like nothing else. To experience nature is both healing and a testament that there is something bigger than me. There is no competition amongst the sea and the treas, the sunsets and the clouds, they all co-exist in majesty. Seeing...

Part of healing requires you to release your attachments—whether it’s to people, places, or even dreams you once held dear. This doesn’t mean you stop loving your family, friends, or those around you.  Rather, it means learning to love them while also growing beyond the need to be tethered to them . Dr Robin Smith Today we did a sacred circle. Women from Sri Lanka, South Africa, The UK, Vietnam, Australia, Kenya and of course Trinidad and Tobago sat together, made space and shared in a non judgemental space how they felt about doing "the work" What is doing "the work" Doing "the work" is  1. Radically accepting that we are born worthy 2. Giving ourselves grace in times of poor choices, being exausted and in feelings of defeat 3. Forgiving ourselves - as a practice rather than a one-off 4. Supporting each other through it all 5. Letting go of guilt and shame especially for things that were put on us by others 6. Telling the truth even when it is hard - bein...

  Forgiveness is for us, for ourselves - Robin  Today my day started off with a forgiveness session. What is a forgiveness session? I sat with a counsellor and we talked about forgiveness for about thirty minutes before I proceeded to make my presentation. I thought that this was a brilliant addition to the day's activities, I did not even realise that I was holding on to all this resentment - both to myself and others. At the end of the session, I came up with a declaration South Africa 2024- Forgiveness Declaration So... It really is an inside job Balance IT Your work is to Let go, accept, be content in the now, with where you are, be grateful Your work is to forgive I Akosua now declare 1. To allow myself grace 2. To take a sacred pause before choosing 3. To stop people pleasing and performing  4. To be honest and authentic 5. To forgive Self and others 6. To let people BE 7. To be Kind Peace and Blessings Akosua's Books Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here? Now What? The Fl...

  Our hearts, our minds, our bodies deserve all equal treatment  One woman said today that all women have a story about a man that is a threatening or a scary story, whether it is an intimate one or one of walking down a street and having a fear of being attacked. I sat there and thought, this is also my experience, there is in my experience a story of fear around men. Starting off the day like that is truly an eye opener. I mean after all, I am at form that discusses violence against women and girls. Its  a stark reality/ I love that there is yoga, counselling, visualization sessions built in to allow for sharing, decompression and a reminder that we are not what we do or defined by it. Brilliant addition. I made a decision to remain open this week, to be more friendly and outgoing, Rather than just remain quiet, cut conversations and do nothing new. With that, I have sat at the front of the sessions, spoken to more people one on one and did a magazine interview improptu...

  Gratitude doesn’t send you out shopping to find satisfaction; it comes as a gift rather than a commodity .Robin Wall Kimmerer After just over 26 hours of flying I arrived in Cape Town on a beautiful  sunny Sunday afternoon. Quite a long haul to get here, I felt a sense of excitement, gratitude and relief having reached to the hotel.  Cape Town is a beautiful and orderly city, having the famous Table Mountain as the backdrop never get's old. The winds were gusty and that made the sunshine almost disappear into cold winds. I was determinded to walk to the Waterfront to take in the sights and get soomething to eat, despite the winds, the cold and my lack of proper attire - Lesson one - Check the weather forecast especially when you are asked about it. Hotel Sky is a perfect location, the Waterfront is nearby as well as the Cape Town Conference Centre is literally accross the road. I ventured out with as much layers as possible to check out the sights and get something to e...

  What's making you into the person you're going to be?  -  Briana Wiest During the period 19th October to 4th November I will be in Cape Town, South Africa at the SVRI Forum 2024.  The opportunity to share and learn among practioners from accross the globe on programes and research on gender issues is an unbelievable opprtunity. I was absolutely over the moon to be be invited to share the lessons learnt on the  Nina Young Women's Leadership Program . and in one of the most beautiful cities that I have ever visited. I do feel a tinge of sadness going back as this will be the first time returning to South Africa since my sister friend Kele passed away in 2023. When I would visit South Africa in previous years, she would always take such good care of me, we would have tons of fun - she taught me about seizing the moment and being present to take advantage of all and any opportunities that would present itself, The literal journey is a long one, I leave Port of Spa...

  Too much identity and added labels will push you away from the truth of impermanence.   Yung Pueblo  Labels and titles intrigue me only because I learnt a long time ago that words and thoughts have power to manifest into reality so I am mindful to put myself into a box especially with unconscious speech. Since I started paying attention to the labels and titles I put on myself I have seen a shift in how I show up in the world, I am speaking here about the simple day to day ways we put ourselves into a box, a corner, a category. I cannot do this I am.... add in the label, the description - there is a popular saying that what follows I am comes into reality - newsflash - its true! I always do this at this time  I never do this These are the labels I am referring to. Simply put when we do this we leave very little room to maneuver, to shift, to change, to learn, to grow Be mindful of the labels that you place on yourself. Everything is feeling, temporary and can chang...

  The work is figuring yourself out. It’s looking back at the feelings underneath and the belief systems that we have about ourselves that make us make certain choices and create certain patterns in our life. Jennifer Lopez Growing up in the Catholic Church I interpreted that doing the "right" thing and praying meant that I would have no problems in life. Follow the formula, be a good person, pray and confess. Well, was I  in for a shocker. In this experience, called life, there will be unexpected moments, lessons, challenges, ups and downs that no matter how much goodness I pour into the world there will be experiences that come to teach you, to show you, to make you grow. This is how we grow.  Humans are creatures of habits, what we do repeatedly become our lives, good or not so good. If we are not paying attention, life gives us some nudges to bring us back to center. Those nudges can become great lessons, markers and growth spurts if we pay attention. If we ignore th...

  We are wired for grace, healing and joy. It's part of our sacred anatomy - Carolyn Myss  I've been waking up with more joy in the mornings. This joy is based solely on the respect I now have for myself For myself to be aware of how much I have grown, forgiven, accepted, surrendered, admit the mistakes I made, loved. All of that has shown me that this experience called life is a process and I now know that I have the power to respond, to choose. The recognition of the preciousness within ourselves and of others is now something I do not take for granted.  The recognition of our worth, our inherent, irremovable worth is now something I believe in, I have added it on my phone the simple statement "I am worthy" "we are worthy" to support me as  I move through every day. Peace and Blessings Akosua's Books Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here? Now What? The Flipside What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love Find Akosua on Website Y...

Who are you listening to in your head? Carolyn Myss  Which voice is loudest in your head? Do you even know? Do you even care? Is it the voice of reason?  Is it the voice of doubt? Is it the voice of the divine? Is it the voice of the the Holy Spirit? Is it the voice of the society? Is it the voice of your parents, your friends, your  loved ones? Is there even a voice at all? There are so many voices competing for our attention.  The voice that you pay attention to makes a difference because when you make a choice it is an act of creation. If your choices are stepped in doubt then you create a choice in doubt. If you choose based on the voice of the divine, you will be divinely guided making a choice from that space. Pat attention to the voice that you listen to Pay attention to the choices you make from those voices because those choices over and over create your life. The voices in your head ought not to push you to make choices and create a life that is chaotic, f...

  Humility. Integrity. Simplicity Dr Wanjiru Kamau  A friend sent me a You Tube Video of Dr Kamau. She was being interviewed about feminism and modernity in Kenya. Her words caught me. I usually scroll through the videos, if its more than 5 minutes, I am ready to roll.  Confessions - I have indeed been sucked into the instant generation that watch short videos and clips. Get to the point and fast! The interview was almost an hour long. Oh dear! I started looking at it and just as I was about ready to scroll and roll, Dr Kamau started talking about how we view ourselves determine not only how we show up in the world but also how we make decisions. She talked about being careful how we swallow beliefs and concepts that are not of us and for us. She talked about knowing fully and fundamentally who we are without comparing ourselves to others for the sake of fitting in. She talked about knowing our history and learning to balance the old and the modern. There are so many dec...

  Avoiding conflict might seem like a good solution in the moment, but it can create more issues down the road . Nawal Mustapha  Dealing  with stress and conflict has been a couple of areas that I know that I have to improve on.  My "dealing" involves either shutting down, avoiding or just keeping the peace. This is not a sustainable method of "dealing". I have learnt that shutting down and  avoidance to keep the peace leads to resistance and resentment because I am not being true to myself. The challenge will remain and return. Once we know how we truly deal with stress and conflict then and only then we can make amends or fully handle the situation. It takes a level of self awareness, courage and practice to move through life situations that cause stress. There are times when we choose our battles and there are times we face them, knowing what our tendencies are helps us navigate better on the journey Peace and Blessings Akosua's Books Nyabo (Madam) Why Are Yo...

  Can I say how inspired I am by all the people tending to this hurting world, all the people making their own corners of it brighter, all the people doing work no one will ever see, work they might never get credit for, all the people praying and working and softening and questioning and organizing and unlearning and learning and witnessing and listening and trying? Lisa Olivera   Back in the day, I gave extra meaning and responsibility to the month of October. Something about being in the "last quarter of the year" Perhaps it is a throw back from the days when I was a practising accountant. Each quarter was assigned a meaning for making forecasts and  comparing those forecasts with reality. The last quarter was an opportunity for a huge effort and push to achieve the year's  goals, also a time where I would notice that the days would become shorter, leaves would start falling off trees and it seemed like nature was also doing something different. Since I have...