What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

You Must Begin Where You Are - Jack Boland If you are waiting for something to happen before you begin what you want to to, it will never happen. If you are waiting to get something before you do what you say you want to do, you willl never get started If you are a waiting for the right time, the right moment, the right person, the right circumstances, you could be waiting forever How about this, what can you do right now? Can you write a letter? Make a call? Finish a plan? Structure a goal? Can you pick a name? Paint a wall? Ask a question? Sweep a floor? Can you structure a schedule? Can you read a book? Can you stop doing all the things you do that keep you from doing the one thing you want to do? Can you pray? Can you sing? Can you dance right where you are? Whatever you can do, you better do it now Now is all you have to work with Iyanla

Listen to the first thing you hear in your gut (before your mind starts to doubt and interfere) that’s what you need to know right now. – Inner guidance I conducted an experiment. I decided to follow my intuition, my gut feeling, my first thought ONLY for an entire day Now, the question is asked, how do you know whether it is your "gut" guiding you? In my case, I would say it is a straight case of it - the choice, the decision, the movement- bringing me a state of calm and peace even if it is scary or seems illogical. It is not illegal and has only the best intentions of particulary myself So what happened in that ENTIRE day that I made this choice? I felt a twinge of fear when I decided to say something to other people which one, I would not normally say and two, seemed way off base but I said it with kindness and conviction and felt really proud of myself too! I felt a peace that passed all understanding - all Damm day I was less anxious and nervous about ...

"You Cannot use the Same Tools You Used To Survive to Thrive" - Ebonee Davis When you are in survival mode you do whatever it takes to survive - so if you are starving you may have to eat something totally out of the ordinary especially if that it is all that there is. available. It may be a case of life and death, literally. Same thing with surviving a death, a breakup, a trauma. The tools you require will be made available to you and when you are healed  or moving past the survival a different set of tools are required The challenge begins when we use our survival tools over and over in a non survival zone Newsflash - you require new tools babee! You can use them - but its like putting in a screw with a hammer  or driving with the handbrakes up - you will eventually get there but with some jerks (sometime literal ones as well) Put down the hammer, put down the handbrakes Drive that babee to the max It's time to thrive You've survived peeps! Now act like...

our lives present us with enough obvious opportunities to practice forgiveness without the need to uncover others. We can rest assured that, if any area of our lives is in need of healing, which simply means that it is a symbol upon which we have projected our unconscious guilt, that need will become apparent when we are ready to look deeper . ACIM There is a theory that when one is triggered it means that this is a place of healing. The thing has come up to be healed. So what do we do? Many of us do not recognise that the trigger is a gift therefore ignoring it or projecting it onto other people in the form of annoyance or anger or cutting them off, other times we "hide" through comfort eating, sex, drugs, alcohol, excess partying, shopping, staying at home. Some type of overcompensation happens when we do not know, realise or acknolwledge that the triggers are blessings, an indication of growth, that healing is the next step. Having said that, one of my triggers is pe...

  there is a solution to every problem.   Nothing is insoluable. Nothing. Do everything that you can to avoid the temptation of thinking that what is facing you now is insurmountable. That is simply not true. Neale Donald Walsh I am meeting with my business manager today - who by the way, is simply awesome. We speak very often but we do not meet very often, I wanted to meet today, coming down to the end of the year to brainstorm and reflect. This year has been quite a eye opening one, with lessons and triumps and new beginnings. Sometimes it is good to pause before we begin again. In fact, all times pausing is for a positive cause In my house growing up, pausing and taking a time out meant that I was lazy, that I "had nothing to do, so I would give you something to do" or it meant find something to do. Consciously breaking that pattern was a challenge at first but as with everything, a committed decision and massive action propels us forward.  Now I...

Sickness is anger taken out upon the body, so that it will suffer pain . ACIM I was doing my morning reading and this popped up, coming right after my chat with my grandma and my shoulder injury- which has been happening for months, by the way!  I had to stop in my tracks and have a chat with myself "self, what are you angry about?" "Where do I start, you got time?" Oh self, you are so cheeky! Anger trapped in your body manifests itself as sickness Emotional pain trapped in your body manifests itself as sickness The ego despises weakness, even though it makes every effort to induce it. The ego wants only what it hates. To the ego this is perfectly sensible. Believing in the power of attack, the ego wants attack. Get it out - of course in a healthy way and by far, hands down the best way to do that is the forgiveness route forgive yourself forgive the other person forgive everything, forgive every single thing it really it is that simple

“There are decades where nothing happens; and there are weeks where decades happen.” Unknown One of my favourite people to hang out with is my grandma, my first storyteller, my first love, many many firsts over the past few months seeing her unwell has been hard, my default was to disappear.  I would call her on the phone and have a conversation rather than going to see her. Her being ill threw me for a loop I missed my time around the kitchen table chatting and laughing and debating. On Sunday I saw her and her entire attitude was light, I asked her how she was doing- she said she healed herself!  Huh? She asked me if I had ever heard about the law of attraction and the power of the mind I said "shut all the doors and windows, what you sayin?" She went on to explain that she was tired of being in pain, she spoke to her legs and made some changes and now, she walks without a cane and has no pain I sat there like "what the whole hell, woman!"she w...

In truth, there is a small one that suffers in each of us, an angel trying to grow wings in the dark,and as this angel learns how to sing, we lose the urge to hide Mark Nepo I think it was Oprah Winfrey that I first heard with this theory - that secrets breed guilt, shame and fear. I heard it again from Ms Iyanla who talked about how secrets make us sick, unhealthy she says that "you are as sick as your secrets" and the hard thing to accept that the secret was held to protect somebody, not to hurt anyone It becomes an infection because there are lies and secrets associated with keeping the secret a secret Iyanla says - love people and rspect them enough to tell them the truth. The truth yes, the truth - will set you free Hiding can take many forms Lying Procrastinating Diminishing yourself Pretending Addictions (food, sex,drugs) Overcompensating Staying away from people Stopping the pain and hiding starts by- stopping the story, change the story, your story...

Start Where It Feels Easy - Danielle La Porte  I do the same thing every day. I get up. Drink a lot of water. Have a big chuck of watermelon, take a run.  Sometimes I meditate,Drink some green juice. Eat as healthy as I can. (bake  tho! And Anella’s bread!!)  Read something that moves me. I’m not trying to win an award for being the best vegetarian, just want to be healthy. I’m blessed to do anything I want so I decide to take the best care of my body in the same way. Holistically. Vitally. Purposefully. And have some fun with it. What is your ritual? Peace

Romantic/familial/friendly relationships force you to look at your beliefs. They create the perfect environment to grow-up the wounded child within. While inviting you to release the stories that reinjury you time and time again. But not all relationships foster growth. Sometimes relationships are replicas of unhealthy familiarity, which can be toxic. It's not unusual to attract someone who is complicit in co-creating dysfunction with you. Arguments, belittling, name-calling, and stagnancy. Fighting for nothing and/or everything. Or never disagreeing at all (which is often a red flag). Stacey Herrera There I am minding my own business living my life, thinking that I am moving ahead, even slowly. I receive an email coming through my website- now ususally when the email comes through the website it is most times a request to speak or appear at an event So I start reading it, it starts off with " I read your book and it was such an authentic piece of sharing" so o...

Of course you deserve to have the things you want in life. Of course you are worthy of having them. These are givens. The question is, are you willing to do the work required to get what you want? I am not talking about physical work. Oh no! Most of the time, we are all ready and willing to KILL OURSELVES WORKING to get the things we want. If that is all it takes, everyone's success would be assur ed. It is the mental, emotional and spiritual work that we usually overlook. When there is something that you really want, there is one thing you must really do - FOCUS! Focus your thoughts. Focus your energy...When you really want to focus on something, there is something you must develop and maintain -DISCIPLINE! You must be disciplined about what you think. You must do everything in a disciplined way . Iyanla Vanzant I was chatting to one of my really great buddies who lives out in Johannesburg on Thursday, beautiful woman, beautiful kiddies, very kind and open, funny and smart and ...

Declare: I no longer consent to thoughts, ideas, or beliefs entering my mind other than what comes from my soul, Spirit, Source, aspects of my higher dimensional self, or guides/teachers that are in service to my highest good. And so it is. Maryham Hassnaa I declare an upcoming year of love and serve I declare an upcoming year of authenticity I declare an upcoming year of forgiveness I declare an upcoming year of properity I declare an upcoming year of blessings I declare an upcoming year of service I declare an upcoming year of fun I declare an upcoming year of gratitude I declare an upcoming year of content I declare an upcoming year of progress What do you declare? Peace

Trying to motivate yourself with fear is like screaming at a child, "Do something, dammit!" You'll either freeze up or act in counterproductive ways. Fear widens the knowing-doing gap. Don't use it.  Martha Beck' How many times have you tried to scare yourself into doing something or maybe  into not doing something? How many times did it work- in the long term? I would safely bet to say not many times it works in the long term or work at all Fear is usually not the best motivator to use Nor is making yourself guilty How many times you made your self guilty for having the nect donut, sending the text to the ex, spending too much time on social media instead of meeting your deadlines- that my friend does not work in the long term either Action and Belief - there is it, simply that! Take action - less talk- make the mistakes, learn as you go Belief- believe that it can happen no matter what minus the expectations Small steps daily - next time you open ...

Being mentally strong doesn't mean you have to be completely self-reliant. Mental strength isn't about proclaiming that you don't ever need help from anyone, or from any type of higher power. Admitting you don't have all the answers, asking for help when you need it and acknowledging that you can gain strength from a higher power is a sign of a desire to grow stronger. Amy Morin Asking for help is a challenge for me so when I read this, there was a combination of laughter and head shaking! oh and there was also a few OMG's thrown in there too!  I have been getting better and better at it and by golly it feels like progress. Sometimes there is a relapse then the Universe reminds me and nudges me "hey, you live in the world....with other people" with situations and events which scream out for my connection with others, for my accepting support from others, for my communion with others from as simple as taking a run on a weekend right up to being ...

I believe we create every so-called "illness" in our body. The body like everything else in life, is a mirror of our inner thoughts and beliefs, the body is always talking to us, if we will take the time to listen Louise Hay My shoulder has been injured for going onto 3 weeks, I have been walking around nursing it. I am a firm believer that what is happening on the inside or what is happening in one's life manifests itself in one's body So it is with a mixture of frustration and curiosity that I find myself asking myself: "self, what is going on here?" I spoke to my shoulder too "Heal thyself!!" "Now!" So this morning with that conversation in mind I started exercising, well well well I had to run for the muscle relaxant almost immediately, it seems like the pep talk did not work I have been contemplating what is happening that I am not facing, that I am blocking, that I am denying that I must pay attention to Sometimes the healin...

We are all different, which is great because we are all unique. Without diversity life would be very boring.” —   Catherine Pulsifer This morning I accompanied a friend of mine to her old secondary school, they invited her back to speak and take part in one of their events, recognizing her as one of the school's esteemed past pupils As we stood there while they fussed over her, she asked to walk around the campus so we decided to take the walk. As we were walking she pointed out where her class room was, the labs and started giving stories about her time at the school When we were finished she was quite pensive and quiet, then she said, I really did not have a good time or very fond memories of this place. In hindsight I know that many of the experiences shaped me into who I am today but it is clear now to me that I put them out of my head and as I return here today after over ten years I feel totally out of place, like I still don't belong What happens when we treat pe...

" When I think of all the disappointments of the past I just laugh" - George Micheal Turning up at the Institute of Chartered Accountants of Trinidad and Tobago International Accounting and Finance Conference was a combination of nostalgia and fun. I saw quite a few old friends and faces. It certainly brought back some memories of my past life and also threw up some lessons that I still have to master - ego and external validation, proving myself to others that I made a the right choice in leaving the profession, I am still at the back of the class working my way forward The great lesson is I no longer feel guilty about leaving the "steady job" I know I am in the place where I am supposed to be. All in all a wonderful experience, the speech went well and I took some time to have a drink after with my good buddy Tash Peace

1.       shift your focus from what’s wrong to what’s possible - Iyanla Vanzant I   I wanted to be an accountant for as long as I knew myself, I just knew I would be one. I believed it was written. And then when I achieved that dream I would live a rockstar life! I    I studied accountancy, I was chartered and certified in the mecca of accounting - The United Kingdom I   I believed that I was a rock star, I was out there "living the life", and then just like that poof, it was gone. Truth be told, I was living in fear, I was afraid that it was too good to be true, that  I would lose it, that I did not deserve it, it was a very anxious way to love, looking over my shoulder, protecting it, hiding it. And as I learnt now every thought is a prayer, I prayed for the loss of it unconsciously.      I did lose it, spectacularly. A testatment of what lac of self belief and fear can manifest     ...

The hard things break, the soft things bend. Of course, we are all hard and soft, stubborn and flexible, and so we all break until we learn and are battered until we accept what is before us Mark Nepo The work is really about ourselves, what are we here to learn, what are we here to share, what are we here to develop. The moment we project and blame and not take responsibility the lessons take longer to happen and therein lies the sufferation. How can I grow? What is this situation telling me? What can I do with love? How can I create boundaries? How can I share these lessons? How can I forgive? Micheal Beckwith says when we ask disempowering questions, the Universe responds accordingly Disempowering questions include Why me? Why is this happening? What are you doing to me? So which one would you choose? This will not mean you will be a walkover or have no boundaries, because sometimes the loving response is no, but that no will come from an empowering and kind spa...

You don't have to be disagreeable when you disagree - Eckhart Tolle We sometimes have different views.  Different experiences lead us to having different perceptions and then there is the ego! the part of us that tells us to hang on to our beliefs no matter what and define ourselves by them even if they are harming us or separating us from our brothers and sisters and most importantlyour happiness. All that to say, we may not always share the same opinion or views. But golly, can we just disagree in a kind way? Why is that so hard? Well most times its when the feeling stems from the ego and we want to attack or defend a position. One can be extremely passionate in one's opinion and still be kind Words, they cannot be taken back, once they leave it's source all that can follow is an apology. When they are laced with kindness chances are they taste better if you have to eat them. So, be kind when you have a difference of opinion and want to express it to the someone e...

“Shame is a soul eating emotion.”    C.G. Jung One phrase that I have eliminated from my normal conversation is "I'm shame" or as we say here in my home country "ah shame".  Shame according to Psychology Today, "As a self-conscious emotion, shame informs you of an internal state of inadequacy, unworthiness, dishonor, or regret about which others may or may not be aware. Another person, circumstance, or situation can trigger shame in you, but so can a failure to meet your own ideals or standards whether or not they are  perfectionist . Given that shame can lead you to feel as though your whole self is flawed, bad, or subject to exclusion, it makes you want to withdraw or hide yourself. So it is no wonder that shame lurks behind addictions that seek to mask its impact" I rationalised in my mind that not speaking the word out loud and not attributing it to me and my actions is a first step in not only working out the difference between shame and gui...

Wouldn't take nothing for my Journey Now - Maya Angelo If anyone told me that I would be giving speeches and talks to people from all over the world I would laugh my head off, you know the type of laughter where you slap your leg? The one that opens your mouth and holla! I would say no because it was not at all in my own life plans, I thought of myself as behind the scenes type of gal! The engine room. I was totally petrified to speak in front of a crowd, any crowd, even my family. I would say though that the journey to get here I would not change for the world. I became courageous, I became independent, I became someone who has a voice, I became safer in my skin. That would not have happened any other way so I give thanks for that. The Journey is the path, that I have learnt. How I got there is the learning, what I became in the process. Don't knock the process, trust it Recognise that it is happening for you,not to you and give thanks for it all Peace

Maybe you’re just kind of weird in a world that rewards “normal”. Too woo woo in a very linear, narrow-sighted culture. You’re doing all the good, metaphysical, motivational work but you feel like there’s a veil between you and what you really want to manifest, and if you get it, you don't get to keep it. Erase erase. That’s the subtle but very toxic Lie of Inadequacy telling you that you’re here and what you want is way over there, on the “right” side of it all. Danielle La Porte Today I had the distinct pleasure of being chosen as the champion of the Green Economy Coalition's presentation of the Santa Cruz Green Enterprise Declaration. A statment of intent. Countries such as Trinidad and Tobago, Grenada, Dominica, Uganda, Peru, South Africa, Cuba, Dominican Republic, Mongolia came together to share lessons and declfare their intent to share this with the world. I was pleased and happy to have read the declaration with our fellow brothers and sisters. I felt proud to b...

“You need to hear the truth about yourself as frequently as possible, because your mind is so preoccupied with false self-images.” – A Course In Miracles I sometimes have difficulty in being clear on the difference between being judgemental and calling a thing a thing! A recent article I read in Psychology Today gave  five signs of being judgemental, I am now going to start using this "radar" as my yardstick in determining if I am being judgemental 1.      Making a lot of negative moral evaluations of others. 2.      Having a moral rating system that is skewed in your own favor. 3.      Jumping to negative moral conclusions about others; being inclined to believe the worst.  4.      Moving very quickly from judgments of the form "This action is morally wrong" to ones of the form "This person is morally corrupt."  5.      Acting as i...

Pain is only a gift if you do the emotional and mental work to transform the pain into power.  That's  the discerning, conscientious part . Danielle La Porte The definition of Pain according to the wonderful philosopher Iyanla is Pay Attention Inward NOW.   Pay.Attention.Inward.Now Some very powerful words in there. What jumps out at me is Inward.Now not outward, not with anyone else, but with you Pay attention to you now I take it to be still, be open, take action, in the moment when we pay external attention - no result when we project outwards - no result when we do not pay attention - the pain gets more intense when we do not pay attention NOW - the issue is prolonged We have to do some work, some emotional work, some mental work, sometimes some physical work, there is a part that you need to play in this learning and transformation you have to take responsibility, it's just that simple! Peace