Honor Yourself with Boundaries
The essence of boundaries is differentiating what we want from what others want from us. John Amodeo
There will be times when what we want will blend in with what others want. There will be times when what we want will not be the same as what others want. When we have differing values and needs, there will be some disagreement and even some conflict.
This is where boundaries come in. Boundaries tell us and others where we begin and end. Boundaries tell us what we are comfortable with and what we are not. To know what our boundaries are, we have to know who we are. Boundaries are difficult for many people because it can reflect a difference of opinions and values, we may be scared to lose them. If we live from the space of fear of loss and avoidance of conflict, we may end up doing what we don't want to do and going against our values. We may end up not setting any boundaries at all.
Clearly stating your needs and desires is an important part in gaining self-respect. When there is self respect, decisions are made from that space, it also engenders respect from others. When self respect is present, you remain open to receiving feedback. Direct and clear communication is necessary for establishing boundaries, without it people can misinterpret what you want or what you have said.
The setting of boundaries and receiving communication from those who share their own boundaries allows or us to build healthier relationships. Through clear communication, sharing differences of opinions and not taking things personally, we can grow in a way that allows for safe spaces to be held for one another.
Setting boundaries takes practice, it is not an easy thing to do especially if we avoid conflict and want to keep those around us happy, there may be some boundaries that piss others off.
We have to ask ourselves, is it easier to please others and be resentful of ourselves, or is it easier to build self respect?
Peace
Have you read any of Akosua's work?
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