Boundaries can be a consistent light

 “Your boundary need not be an angry electric fence that shocks those who touch it.. It can be a consistent light around you that announces: “I will be treated sacredly.” -Jaiya John


This weekend I listened to a talk about having and setting boundaries. It resonated with me because I have noticed lately that I have been putting myself last due to fear of losing people and losing period. I believe that setting boundaries is difficult for me, in chatting with others I have now discovered that many other people have challenges as well in setting boundaries for one or more of the following reasons:

1. Fear of pushing others away - how would others react or respond to us setting boundaries.

2. Fear of others not liking us - people pleasers are afraid to say no, they are afraid to make others mad, sad or disappointed.

3. Not knowing how to say NO - tied in to people pleasing and fear of losing.

If there are people in our lives who are mad if you set boundaries, these are not your people.

If there are people who you fear will leave you because you choose to do something for yourself, your sanity, your well being - these are not your people.

If you live in fear of those around you choosing you first, you may need to look into the mirror and ask yourself why and what would make you choose yourself and your peace of mind last.

Ask yourself, what do I believe about myself that I choose to live this way.

Setting and keeping boundaries takes work, it takes practice, it takes commitment and most importantly it takes self love.

Peace


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