Niceness Every Time?

 Too often, there is this belief that when healing comes we will be rewarded. We will get the spouse that we have been searching for, the job we desperately want, it will fix our relationships + friendships or we will receive some kind of blessing. The reality is, the only guaranteed reward you will see as a result of your healing and growth is the assurance that you are worthy and always will be.


There is sometimes a bit of anxiousness in how I approach situations, particularly when I fall back into old habits and beliefs that being nice is something to strive for and maintain. Being nice, I felt, would have absolved me from any hurt or drama.

Being nice, I have learnt, became a trap for me sometimes accepting less than, proving that I would not rock the boat, and a whole other host of actions, behaviors and rationale for why I accepted less and ignored my feelings.

I was under the impression that, Nice people don't get angry in public, nice people are not fussy, nice people show up even on short notice, nice people are always smiling, they volunteer themselves for any cause. These are some of the descriptions I have heard about being nice. And maybe they are all true. My challenge with all of it is the intention behind it all.

What is my intention?

Are you being nice to be liked? Are you being nice out of fear?

If your intention is rooted in external validation, there will be some level of resentment, especially if your needs are being ignored or dismissed.

I believed that being nice would make it so that I was exempt from "bad"."Bad stuff would not happen to me or in my life. 

I would always be taken care of and any drama would pass me by. After all, I was nice!

Newsflash! that is a myth. The Universal Law of cause and effect, consequences for our actions and lessons will be repeated until learned are all at play in our lives.

Experiences come to teach us and mirror to us where we require growth. If we ignore them, life will continue to repeat them. Being nice has zero to do with it

Now, don't get me wrong, I am not advocating for going out there and acting a jerk!

It is all about the intentions behind our actions.

I have learnt to be kind, loving and compassionate. In this way, I can express my emotions, I can say no - because sometimes no is the most loving response. I can see the other person with eyes of compassion and love for a fellow human rather than maintaining being nice for the sake of not pissing anyone off or living in fear!

Be Kind

Be Love

Be You

Best

Look out for the upcoming Unveiling- Looking into the Mirror of Self : An online Journey which delve into Building the Pillars of Self

September 2020

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Unveiling - Looking into the Mirror of Self




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