I'm boundary'd

all roads of the capitalist narrative lead to fast and busy like a good little machine. Something else is being asked of us now. I’m here for it. But it’s not that easy to halt, unravel, listen quietly and wait. Chela Davidson

A year ago, the soundtrack for my life was - "Busy and Got so Much to do" 

I can safely say that the  tune has changed...

Busy No Longer. My schedule is not jam packed. I'm not back to back. And I'm definitely not just trying to stay above water.

But gosh do I have a lot going on. Like big life changes, really major projects, yes my friends, a lot. But I'm not that busy because I refuse to be.

Instead, I'm boundary'd. I'm creating the life that I believe that I now deserve. I'm curating empty space in my days. And what I am moving away from is to look at my schedule automatically feel anxious, stressed and like an underachiever.. I want to meet the new day where I'm at, and then act.

Once upon a time not that long ago I didn't have time to breathe, much less pee.  My back and shoulder was paining me more than ever.

The pace of my day was dictated by other people, and I just did not have the courage to speak up, to change it . Anxiety set in so deep it felt like entrapment, because not only could I not imagine a graceful way out... my sacred barometer of a life well lived, felt like a distant memory.

A pandemic made the decision I'd already wanted to make a little bit easier...and a little bit harder. I've had moments  where I believed that there was too little on my plate, too few commitments, too much time on my hands that I had to work through the feelings.

And so it went until I landed where we always do: in balance. The pendulum had swung from overly busy...to overly not...and rested on a completely new awareness. New space was created for people to enter my life in different ways.

New space was created to learn more about myself.

New space was created for some people and events to leave.

I created answers for myself. I created boundaries. I created days that I delight in. 

If you're feeling like you have no time, need more time, not doing enough, take a moment to examine it – what does it really mean? what is under those feelings? are they rooted in truth or a story?  And how can you create a boundary that creates the type of life you desire? How can you change the story to be rooted in self belief and most importantly have some fun!

Remember, we never leave this life alive!

Peace