Break the Cycle of Reactivity
It is often the responsibility of the more conscious person to break the cycle of reactivity. How can we see where others are on their path, related to lessons we have already been through and not go into preaching, diagnosing, advice giving, fixing, judging and moral superiority Maryam Hasnaa
This weekend I made a conscious effort to feel all of my feelings.
Confessions on the journey- Anger frightens me, I think it comes from the feeling of losing all level and manner of control. I let it all loose when I am angry, and I have seen angry people around me who made some pretty poor decisions and paying the consequences for those poor choices.
Anger I have learnt is when someone disappoints you or fails to meet your expectations, anger is the most common response. It is also the emotion that rises to the surface when you feel hurt or, when you are being held responsible for something you did not do.
Learning this, I now know that sometimes the feeling that I am feeling is not anger.It may be disappointment, disgust, helplessness or any other manner of them.
I have also learnt not to judge or feel guilty when I am angry, anger is a valid feeling, a guide to something or somewhere.
So, in feeling the feelings this weekend, when I found myself reacting, being resistant and steupsing (a common way we on this island expresses our disgust) I stopped and asked "self- what am I feeling?" I invite the feeling in rather than run from it and in that pause, I realised a couple of things
1. I did not have to react right away when the feeling surfaces.
2. In that pause, inviting the feeling in gave me time to balance myself, balance the way I feel.
3. Awareness of the feeling before labeling it, I realised that it sometimes is not what I labeled it as
4. Stop judging myself and others
More often than not we fail miserably in our attempts to move through what feels uncomfortable or difficult.we are taught to ignore, deny or avoid what we feel, particularly if our expression of the feelings makes others uncomfortable.
Balance is essential
I was so mad with someone close to me on Sunday, I was feeling to cuss. I practiced the lessons and paused, took the time and chose to not cuss, breathe and feel those feelings
Needless to say we are good to go
The stuff works!
Give it a go, let's compare notes
Peace
This weekend I made a conscious effort to feel all of my feelings.
Confessions on the journey- Anger frightens me, I think it comes from the feeling of losing all level and manner of control. I let it all loose when I am angry, and I have seen angry people around me who made some pretty poor decisions and paying the consequences for those poor choices.
Anger I have learnt is when someone disappoints you or fails to meet your expectations, anger is the most common response. It is also the emotion that rises to the surface when you feel hurt or, when you are being held responsible for something you did not do.
Learning this, I now know that sometimes the feeling that I am feeling is not anger.It may be disappointment, disgust, helplessness or any other manner of them.
I have also learnt not to judge or feel guilty when I am angry, anger is a valid feeling, a guide to something or somewhere.
So, in feeling the feelings this weekend, when I found myself reacting, being resistant and steupsing (a common way we on this island expresses our disgust) I stopped and asked "self- what am I feeling?" I invite the feeling in rather than run from it and in that pause, I realised a couple of things
1. I did not have to react right away when the feeling surfaces.
2. In that pause, inviting the feeling in gave me time to balance myself, balance the way I feel.
3. Awareness of the feeling before labeling it, I realised that it sometimes is not what I labeled it as
4. Stop judging myself and others
More often than not we fail miserably in our attempts to move through what feels uncomfortable or difficult.we are taught to ignore, deny or avoid what we feel, particularly if our expression of the feelings makes others uncomfortable.
Balance is essential
I was so mad with someone close to me on Sunday, I was feeling to cuss. I practiced the lessons and paused, took the time and chose to not cuss, breathe and feel those feelings
Needless to say we are good to go
The stuff works!
Give it a go, let's compare notes
Peace
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