The Relevance of the Ego
Reality check: You can’t lose your ego, so don’t try to kill it. The Mental Break
On an online course I participated in last month, a question was asked "How do I kill the ego?"
I thought about it for a moment because I truthfully never thought about the option of killing the ego.
It came to me at that moment that the ego can be useful. The ego is the part of us that lets us know to wash our face in the morning, to take the spinach out of our teeth when in a full room, it allows us to know that something may be off. The false ego is what we need to pay attention to. The false ego is that part of ourselves that focuses on competition over collaboration, it looks at external validation, it says to you that you must win, must be better than others, must have the last word, must show only the best side of ourselves to continue to be liked, appreciated and accepted.
The false ego feeds on anything other than love, it feeds on separation.
So the question meant to me is how do we focus on the positive rather than kill the negative ego.
Accepting our shadow selves is a key part of taming the ego. What is our shadow self? Sheri Jacobson puts this into perspective The ‘shadow’ is the side of your personality that contains all the parts of yourself that you don’t want to admit to having.
It is at first an unconscious side. It is only through effort to become self-aware that we recognise our shadow.
Although many infer the shadow is ‘negative’, this is not really true. The Shadow is rather what you yourself perceive as dark and weak about yourself, and therefore needing to be hidden and denied. But this depends on your own perspective on life, and your levels of self-esteem.
So while for one person their shadow might just contain such classic elements as sadness, rage, laziness, and cruelty, you might also hide your personal power, your independence, or your emotional sensitivity.
The negative ego is part of our shadow side
For us to live a full life, we must acknowledge and embrace all sides of ourselves, and remember who we are by affirming that.
Peace
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