What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

  SOUL DESIRE: To be a channel for unconditional love, abundance,  and growth. PURPOSE: To nurture growth and create community. Solutionary.Com The brilliant Journey of Life calls for us to remember and to recognize. Life is a calling for us to remember who we are and recognize that who we are is never dependent on anyone or anything outside of ourselves. That we have been given all the required tools. We may not see, notice or believe that we have, that lack of belief does not change what is. Think about the signs we have been given when we feel that we are at the end of the rope? Think about the support you have received in times when we require it? Think about the grace you have been given when you make choices made in fear? We are called to recognize and remember that we are on a collective Journey. That may mean we do not always see eye to eye with everyone but we can do it with respect and in love.  We may have to set some boundaries and say no. We may have to forgi...

  Guidelines for Creating Authentic Power - Focus on what I can learn about myself all the time, especially from my reactions (such as anger, fear, jealousy, resentment, and impatience), instead of judging or blaming others or myself. - Gary Zukav My contribution to the 2021 Initiation Portal was called the Power of Authenticity. I wanted to give my own personal take, the lessons  that I learnt on what authenticity has taught me and how I harnessed  its power to improve  how I live my life now. I wanted to share what and why did I think authenticity was important.     Authenticity is the knowledge and acceptance of Self - all aspects of Self, the parts you like and the parts you struggle to accept. Authenticity is the ability to show up with the knowledge that you are divinely guided, through your intuition and other signs which are there for you always. Authenticity is the recognition that you are a unique being,  filled with innate power. Authe...

you can't control your way to real love and happiness Yung Pueblo A dear friend of mine sent me a link from Oprah, who has chosen this month to feature seven books that got her through dark times. My friend's message "looking forward to seeing yours" Well, they say ask and you shall receive, here it is my friend 1. Love Without Conditions - Paul Ferrini - taught me so much about unconditional self love and helped shift my thinking from seeking external validation alone as a way of being seen and heard. 2.  A Course in Miracles - another mindset shift which emphasized to me that only love is real, and nothing threatens love. 3. One Day My Soul Just Opened Up - Iyanla Vanzant - a 40 day Journey to opening up one's soul. 4.  A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle - oh the revelations about ego! 5.  A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson - teachings on the Course in Miracles. 6. The Way of Mastery  - Shanti Cristo Foundation 7. Conversations with God - Neale Donald Walsh 8. Y...

 But whatever you do, don't forget about that word choice - Jessica Dore There is an old saying "however you make you bed, you have to lay in it" My interpretation of it was always that whatever choice I made I would have to endure it. What I have learnt is that when we make choices, there are consequences. We must live with and accept the consequences but we can always make another choice.  Each choice supersedes the previous one. Choices allow for us to activate our innate power. When we allow others to make  all our choices for us, we give that power away. This action usually leads to resentment and resistance as we haven't participated in the choices that impact us, when we can. Not making a conscious choice or not participating in choices that you know you must is living by default. I have also learnt that when we do decide to make a choice,  it must be from a place of love, rather than fear.  Make your choice - from a place of love. Make your choice - usin...

  Living in the unknown can be scary, but there's a very beautiful and mysterious dimension to it. When you're not attached to your mind, or clinging on to it, or trying to control it. you find that your mind starts to function in a completely different way . Integral Enlightenment I want to know. I want information. I want to be briefed. I want an update. I want to know when, how,  and why? Any of these questions sound familiar to you? These are some of the questions I ask myself when I am having a conversation with myself in my head. , especially when I am about to embark on something new, or get into a new partnership. Anything in the unknown brings on a type of fear which,  somehow I  deduced that knowing everything in advance will assist in me overcoming it, that it will show that I am well prepared and I am not wasting anyone's time. Newsflash - does not work, never did for me, it just made me more anxious. The unknown teaches us about faith, about intuition, a...

  Change comes in all shapes, sizes, and intensities. It happens to all of us. Sometimes it sneaks up on us, sometimes it hits us over the head, sometimes we are lucky enough to choose when and how it happens. But it always happens .   The Change Cycle I found out yesterday that Loss is a huge part of the process of change. I was intrigued by that as I never conceptualized that it was so simple. The first part of the process of change is the loss we either will have to face or the fear of perceived loss.  The loss of safety. The loss of control. Even when the change is perceived as good, there is is feeling that we are venturing into the unknown. Having learnt about the process of loss, I am a lot more inclined to approach change knowing that I must accept loss as part of the process especially as fear can lead to doubt, when we are in doubt we slow down or even stop from making decisions. When we do that we become even more resistant to the change. We fight for...

Is your perspective your power or your prison? Trent Shelton I decided to flip a script. I have decided to look at each day as an adventure. Whatever comes up, I will treat it as if I am going into unknown realms to discover what is on the other side or what is in there that I can use or take on future adventures. I decided to do this because it's more exciting than complaining or reacting in fear. The fear that comes up on the adventure will have to fuel the forward movement. I am starting this adventurous journey today, who is willing to join me! Suit up!  Let's Go Onward to an adventurous day! Peace

  Self-love is not simply a state of feeling good. It is a state of appreciation for oneself that  grows from actions  that support our physical, psychological and  spiritual  growth . Deborah Khoshaba Psy.D. Unveiling - Looking into the Mirror of Self ended on Sunday 18th October 2020, what an amazing Journey! The participants showed up with courage, willingness, authenticity and love. It was a beautiful experience for me, learning about acceptance and self value from the participants and learning about how I value myself. I must admit, I was nervous taking this programme online. Given these unprecedented times, pivoting is essential. We have been given an opportunity to use what we have and dig deep to come up with what is inside of us, what we have learnt from our elders and ancestors which we did not believe that we would ever have to use.  The experience taught me to follow my intuition, to prepare, to put in the work and have a willingness to do ...

  when someone works on a project—whether it’s a book or a business or otherwise—at a certain point, that thing leaves their hands and enters the realm of the world. It is judged, received, and acted on  by other people.  It stops being something he controls and it depends on them. Ryan Holiday When did you start giving away your power? Who taught you that? Where did you start giving away your power? Why did you do that? Where are your power leaks? Do you even know? Who did you give your power to and why? Whatever made you think that what you don't have, don't know , don't do renders you powerless? Do you know who you are? Who told you that other people are responsible for your power? Why did you believe that? Take your power back Just do it. Stand. Walk. In Your Power Your discipline, Your Courage, Your Commitment. Your Self-Belief . Your Choices. Your Consequences It's that simple Don't Overcomplicate it Peace

  Don’t suppress your emotions. but also don’t hold onto them. Touch them and then let them go . Maryam Hasnaa Yesterday I started reading a book by Emily Francis called "Your Body Heals Itself" Let me tell you, the number of times whilst reading it that I was overcome by epiphanies and revelations! Our bodies are so marvelous, so intricate, such a well designed machine. I have been taking it for granted. One thing that stood out for me was the revelation that our muscles stores memories and feelings. When we do not adequately deal with it, they remain in our body and show up like pains and knots! then those pain and knots can turn into diseases.Who knew?? So, maybe some of those pains and niggles in my body represent some emotions and feelings that I allowed to fester? Emily says "the issues are in the tissues" How fitting! The other part of the book that I totally resonated with was where she pointed out that emotions are released when muscles are massaged and s...

  Note to self (and maybe to others) - stop saying yes to work you really want to say no to. A scarcity mentality can back you into corners you never wanted to be in to begin with - Afrobella There are two affirmations that I use when I feel like I am losing control particularly with finances and jobs -  God is my only source and supply. The Universe will provide for me, and I will play my part in my own success. During the pandemic, I have had to recite these affirmations more than once! trust me! Confessions on the Journey -  at this present moment, I am doing a job that I truly believe stems from a scarcity mentality. Why? I agreed to it knowing that it will pay bills. I beat myself up on making the choice so much that I just had to stop and say - forgive yourself honey! What did I learn during the process? 1. Value Yourself - speak up for what you know you are worth. 2. Forgive yourself for making the choice, it feels so much better than beating up on yourself....

  While each part of the back tends to store different emotions, in examining lower back pain , Francis describes a twofold capacity. The sacrum, the triangular bone at the base of the spine is “considered the sacred bone. It can hold a great amount of fear. The sacrum at its worst deals with financial security fears and moving forward in your life. It also deals with loss of people, which gives way to fears of moving forward without that particular person or situation. At best, in the sacrum and low back area, you can connect into your soul space and tap into your own path toward your greatest path moving forward.” Kalia Kelmenson Confessions on the Journey - I have been having  back pains. It's been a recurring theme for months. The pain started getting worse and so, I decided to go to the doctor. The doctor said, it may be a back strain or stress! The doctor recommended to stop stressing and stretch more after exercising. It sounded so simple when he said it. I actuall...

  I’m thinking a lot about how we have the narrative that we need to work hard to prove our worth. Why can’t we be worthy just cause? Ehimora Waking up late on a Saturday morning at my grandma's house was a definite cause for concern, a total no no She would turn into a whole other creature, I could not figure out why! The lady that I would snuggle up to in the night to watch our favorite show called Prisoner, then we would talk about what happened in the show late into the night. There would be times after the show where I would be talking to her and then I would just hear her snoring away. When the circle opened with my cousins joining us, we would all pile onto the bed and make jokes and ask her questions about her youth. But, early on a Saturday morning, she would bust into the room and make a ruckus. "Wake up! Don't let the sun come up before you in this house. Get up now!" At first, when I was younger, I would ignore her, as I got older she would literally pu...

 Unshakeable Confidence is a Mythical Destination - Sas Petherick  Reading Sas's work  truly resonated with me. Her philosophy comes from a space that anything from a new behaviour, a new way of thinking, experimenting with a new skill, learning something new will involve disappointment, failure, conflict, judgement, rejection and complexity, as well as, success. This is how self belief is cultivated. Open minded consistent practice and discipline. Every time I have to speak to an audience, I get nervous, I feel sweaty, the doubts creep in about if I can deliver something that makes sense. Reading Sas's work, I am comforted by the idea that growth is not linear. it involves risk and messiness, and sometimes falling down. The most important thing is showing up, getting up and keeping in mind that humanness has beauty as well as pain. Accepting the duality of it has helped in me navigating not just speaking engagements but approaches to situations in life. Peace Have you r...

“Every relationship is the re - lationship you need at that time. Everything you do in every relationship have prepared you and beings you closer to the grand experience of total, uncon - ditional self-love and love for others” from the book In the Meantime By Iyanla Vanzant.  Today I am scheduled to be on a radio programme. The topic is Journey to Unconditional Self Love. I sat down to prepare, to get my thoughts together and the thought of talking about it scared me. Why? Because I realized that over the last few weeks that my own definition of what self love is has not been upheld by me! So how can I now go and chat about Self Love when I seem to not be practicing it? I pondered on that for a while. Looking for the lesson, this is what I came up with: Unconditional Self Love, loving myself without conditions - maybe that is the lesson! Love myself despite the fact that I am not living up to the expectations set, love myself through the unmet  expectations. Love myself thro...

  Self-worth is defined by Merriam-Webster as: “a feeling that you are a good person who deserves to be treated with respect”. Self-worth is at the core of our very selves—our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are intimately tied into how we view our worthiness and value as human beings. Self-worth is firm and unshakeable. Self-worth is direct measure of how you value and regard yourself in spite of what others may say or do. Self- worth doesn’t quickly or easily change when external factors or circumstances change. Self-worth means accepting yourself wholeheartedly at all times despite your flaws, weaknesses, and limitations. Self-worth means never allowing yourself to be defined by outside forces, including people’s opinions. Self -Worth means never allowing outcomes to shake your confidence, faith or resolve. Myths that we tell ourselves: 1. Our worth comes from outside of us - our qualifications, our possessions 2. We get our worth from the work that we do and how productive we...

  If you expect living your dreams to be like living on cloud nine, you'll never get started much less keep going because living your dreams doesn't feel like that...it feels like a lightening storm. And that's actually the beauty and the message here...it won't be perfect which means there is absolutely no perfect time to begin . Maxie McCoy One of the dreams that I have had was rolling out Unveiling - Looking Into the Mirror of Self - Retreat. The initial idea I had was for the retreat to be a residential where we got together in a circle, eat lovely healthy meals, have fun and bond while we enhance our Self! After the first edition of the Unveiling, which was totally awesome and life changing for me, there never seemed to be the right time or the right conditions to have another one. When the pandemic started I thought oh dear me- this may be the end of the Unveiling dream. The pandemic stopped gatherings and human contact in groups. People were skeptical about congr...

  there are no quick-fixes in life  What is the most urgent thing in your life at this present moment? Right now. Give it some thought. In this right now present moment, as you read this, what is the most pressing and urgent matter that you must attend to? What is the thing that if you don't stop reading right now, your life will fall apart, everything around you will be ruined? What is the thing that you want to happen right away? What is that thing , if it doesn't happen now, like right now, life will just never be the same? I thought about these questions, and I can now safely say that in the present moment,  there is nothing is that urgent or must happen now apart from me breathing in and out. If I inhale and not exhale, that means my life stops - literally. So the most important thing right now is my breath.  And so, the stress of wanting it to happen NOW, of things being so so urgent, now releases its hold on me. I take action, I take brisk action, I plant the ...

    Seven Stones of Sustainable Abundance: respect, love, courage, truth, opportunity, wisdom and clarity.   Seven Stones Leadership A very dear friend introduced me to this concept of Sustainable Abundance and I have to say, it resonated deeply with me. The entire concept of building self, and by extension, organizations and communities around the corner stones of respect, love, courage, truth, opportunity, wisdom and clarity get's me excited. So many of our narratives are based around the bottom line, profit margins, cutting costs and keeping it tight. All of these tenets based on a scarcity mindset. A everything will mindset that everything is limited, not enough and everything will run out. According to Seven Stones,    courage overcomes fear; love and respect dissolve contempt and disregard; truth exposes dishonesty; opportunity opens closed minds; and clarity and wisdom reveal a better way forward. If all of us take responsibility for develo...