What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human   (The Invitation by Oriah) Have you ever told someone that you wanted to do something and they tell you come on, let’s be realistic! That right there for me is an absolute dream killer! Can you imagine some of the things we wouldn’t have today if some of the dreamers listened to that whole be realistic speech? Flights to the other side of the world, the Internet, Skype, call them out and see how that whole be realistic speech is more a reflection of the other person’s mind and nothing else Here in Uganda, she was told to be realistic about having a Company with branches throughout the country! Didn’t listen! This week I told someone what I wanted to do and they told me be realistic! I instantly knew that something big is ...

People who earn the label “creative” are really just people who come up with more combinations of ideas, find interesting ones faster, and are willing to try them out. The problem is that most schools and organizations train us out of those habits . Guy Kawasaki, author There was a raging debate on the base over the past few months about how many of the key people on this project lack creativity. The view was then cemented on Saturday when we all got together in a hotel to come up with “creative ideas” on how to take the thing forward and the responses were all safe and as we can say in the box! On Monday morning she called me, she said to me I am letting 2 people go today. “Just like that?” No Didn’t you tell me Madam Akosua to always follow my gut, my first instinct? Yea I did Well I am taking your advice, this is what my gut is telling me to do Ok well I can’t argue with that then Madam, we have been talking to them for months to come up with ideas, take ri...

Real bliss and ecstasy come from activating one’s potential, not mere accomplishment or getting things.  The real message behind that is, on the way to accomplishment you have to become something.  So your real juice comes from what you have become as you are moving toward accomplishment or acquiring.  As you spiritually mature, you realize the secret was really in becoming yourself and in having activated a potential.  That’s where your real joy, real happiness, comes from. ( Rev. Michael Bernard Beckwith) I had a meeting on Saturday. The first question I was asked is “who are you becoming in Uganda?” I pondered on the question for a minute. Not what was I doing, how is it going. Who am I becoming! I pondered on the question for a minute and brutally honest I couldn’t answer right away. I said, let’s get back to that question while we discuss our way forward. Have you ever thought of that? Who are you becoming when you are doing something? The journey to w...

Sometimes when you have outgrown the people or situations in your life, and you’re not aware, or don’t have the courage to move on ~ life will move on you. You may have been told that your company is going in another direction. You knew it was coming, and you didn’t prepare yourself. Now you are angry, and feel you were wronged. You’ve got to move on. Les Brown This morning I got to base, one of the ladies pulled me aside. “Madam, people here make me feel like nothing, I do my best and now you want to fire me” I was shocked at first because it was really out of the blue! Then she says to me “I am an orphan I worked hard to get this job” then she burst into tears! Truth be told, this lady has been really testing the patience of the team, shouting at customers, shouting at fellow workers, threatening to slap and beat them and making a right havoc around the place. As she stood there weeping and sobbing she kept on saying that it’s not her fault that she does what she does, t...

anything or anyone that does not bring you alive is too small for you —David Whyte, poet I was asked yesterday, what makes me so passionate about being   here in Uganda so far from home and family? In my mind I didn’t even think of myself as being passionate, I am here just enjoying and soaking up the experience. Growing as a person in so many ways, trusting myself, believing in my abilities and making decisions blocking out the ego. Sometimes I slip back into the old habits but now I become aware of when I am doing it faster than before! Who do you surround yourself with and why? Do you what brings you alive or are you just dragging along waiting for something to happen? The prize will not be sent to you, you have to go out and win it! It’s not as hard as you think! I can tell you from taking the risk of being here! Trust yourself, make the leap According to Mastin Kipp, we will always find what we go looking for. Who we hang out with is who we become. The en...

Stop chasing after stuff and just BE, just BE it! Your sense of power doesn’t come from the stuff from having the stuff it comes from who you are! Rev. Deborah L. Johnson I read this passage today from Mastin Kipp, a young spiritual writer “If I'm a good person, then good things will happen to me. If I follow all the rules, then I will be rewarded. If something bad happened to me, then there must be something wrong with me. If I experience pain, then what's happening is bad. If I experience pleasure, then what's happening is good. But the problem is human logic, understanding, and our point of view is extremely limited. If we truly understood this, we wouldn't be so quick to apply meaning to the events of our lives. Just because we feel good or bad in the moment doesn't mean what's happening is good or bad” It got me to thinking about this project that I am working on. Why? The people of the North of Uganda were not bad people yet they endured some o...

How you get so fly? . . . from not being afraid to fall out the sky. —Jay Z, “Beach Chair” Life provides us with some do overs. Lira town, up North as well, post conflict area. The Company was the first one to set up a business post conflict, the army still “protects” the compound. The business is doing well we set up some mobile shops and the demand is high.   So we are discussing next steps. Madam smart woman, you will go again and find a shop and premises for us in Lira. Me? Yes madam. You arrange to meet with the landlords, and get us a shop up there! Remember the last time? (How could I forget, got duped paid 1million and the “landlord vanished) but what about last time I asked? Yea what about it? You want me to go again and arrange a shop? Yes madam, you will arrange it and learn from that last time (oh oh here comes the speech) you’re always wanting to know “well what about this situation?” or “what about that situation?” “how does it work here?” “how does it w...

Work simpler and get better results. Bitch less and things sort themselves out. Think less and be more creative. Put in fewer hours and get a greater return. Sell less and sell more. Push less and get farther. Cosmic cha-ching. Danielle La Porte, author Simply put, how you feel about what you do makes a huge difference! I am talking about that deep down gut feeling of passion and joy. If its missing in what you do then you might as well know that your heart will be yearning! It’s going to be a chore! There are sometimes when the going gets tough, and when it does the passion pulls you through it! And why don’t we follow that path? My take is fear! Fear of not making enough money, fear of not providing for your family, fear of the unknown but I have learnt that the Universe works for you and will never give you a passion, a talent, a gift and leave you stranded! It just will not happen! Become aware, listen, trust yourself and know that your gift will make room...

You are always living a reflection of whatever you are outputting. And so, if you get into a little pocket where a lot of people are being rude, it's probably because you are being rude -- or because you have been aware of people being rude. Nothing ever happens to you that is not part of your vibration!" - Esther Abraham-Hicks , is a best-selling author and speaker. This article is an interview with the founder of the Company that I work for in Uganda Have a look, make a comment! Peace!! http://www.guardian.co.uk/global-development/2013/jun/17/uganda-seed-entrepreneur-josephine-okot

you can : laugh again after unspeakable loss. joy will wind its way around scars that will never unknot within you – like smiling ivy warming tree roots . Danielle La Porte   This journey is one back to myself. The time in Uganda has opened my eyes and heart in ways that I didn’t even know was possible. It has challenged me to question my own values and validity, to face myself with a type of raw honesty that I never ever did before. Spending one week in Gulu and Lira brought it more to the forefront. I went with the owner of the Company, the head of the project, a passionate woman with a vision and a drive that is relentless. We stayed at a house protected by the Army in the middle of nowhere! Why protected by the army? She was the first person to start a business when the war ended, a mere few months after the war she started it! The Government told her it was risky, that she could die, they were not providing any “incentives” to businesses to start up there yet. She...

Be not the slave of your own past plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep, and swim far, so you shall come back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience, that shall explain and overlook the old."        - Ralph Waldo Emerson , was an American essayist, philosopher, poet, and leader of the Transcendentalist movement. I'm back in the city! This week was quite an adventure. I saw scenes that I have never seen before. I walked with my open mind and willing spirit. I was taken to the school where the 150 girls were abducted and made child soldier's and wives. I heard stories about one of the survivors of that scene! I saw subsistence farming at its best, every single thing that is grown and reared is eaten, not grown not eaten, Even the local alcohol is made,  in house with "organic materials" So what did I learn There's always a way to start over, there's always a new thought, a new way. a new beginning. There is always yo...

Admiration isn't something that can be brokered, sincerity isn't a contractual thing. Danielle LaPorte Our model for post conflict rehabilitation of women farmers is working well. We have been getting invitations to discuss and share from all over the world. I have been spending this week with the women who really just want to get on with life and provide for their families . I believe the reason the programme works is because their motto and mind set is self reliance, self empowerment and there are no victims here. One woman asked me if I ever lived through a war. Nope! She said the war stopped sch ools businesses family life and some people's hope but we are here and rebuilding.  They laughed at me because I wanted some mangoes and guavas. They told me madam go pick. I picked it and asked them where can I wash it. Hilarious laughter and uproar! I've learnt that what will matter is the good we did not the good we expected others to do!Peace!!

Acceptance is medicine! Stephanie Watanabe, author So I am in Gulu this week, North Uganda. I am driving with "miss I don't stop for the police". We stop to buy water, get out the car and cross the street. Going back to the car I see it surrounded by a group of men in uniform. She looks at me and says oh oh you better tal k or else we spend the week in jail instead of in Gulu. I'm confused. She walks past them and gets in the passenger seat they stop me. Madam, we are impounding this car and taking you to jail. Huh?? I laugh because it must be a joke. Why did you park here? There's about 6 other cars parked along side me. You are not supposed to park here. Let's go! Court is in the morning you spend the night in jail. So I ask you're taking me to jail for parking here? Yes madam. What's so special about this spot? You are disturbing the pavement. What pavement? This one. Officer this is not a pavement. Have you ever seen a pavement? Let's go mad...

Without me, the sun comes up in the morning and the stars twinkle at night. Before I’ve even gotten out of bed in the morning, the earth has spun 1/3 of the way round its axis and six billion people have done the best they know to do to increase their happiness and mitigate their suffering. And since I’m not in charge, I get to relax and enjoy the ride. Rather than cower in recognition of my own weakness and even helplessness in the face of forces far greater than my own, I am set free.” Michael Neill coach Heading to the bush now for 4 days, see you on Friday. Once I have an opportunity I will go into the town and get access to the Internet! Wish me luck, just about to embark on the 8 hour drive!! Peace!!

What we do is we keep score of what we accumulate and the actions and behaviors of others. Create your own reality by being you and focus on you We were offered this opportunity for “help” from a well known ex politician from Texas USA who has since left office. She turned it down. I asked why, the world knows him and maybe we can get the electricity supply we need at our main base that we have been waiting and doing somersaults to get for 6months now. I ask questions and many times the response has nothing to do with the question, it just makes me think! Madam, you were taught that “you are what you have”. That there is the power struggle! So you have learnt that if you have more you are more, I AM more. If you have less you are less, I AM less. So here comes the West oh look at how much less they have they must BE less. why? Because you people associate yourself with what you HAVE. You are no more or no less than what you have, I am telling you that you are something, I...

Thought – feeling-action-outcome (Rev Deborah L Johnson) I am only here to be truly helpful (A Course in Miracles)   We do a lot of business in South Sudan. I ask all the time to go and they tell me flat out no. When I ask why I get varied reasons including that we don’t do gender and entrepreneurship training of women farmers and that’s the main part of my mandate. Yesterday one of our partners came back to the office after being in South Sudan for a while. We sat down to chat about what’s going on. Let me just say, like me she is not from Africa, she moved   here from London. She talked about her time there and was passionate, excited, focused. She said there are so many opportunities but she will not recommend that I go alone. Naturally I asked why! She told me two weeks ago she was captured. Captured?? Yes a group of young men with AK47’s stopped him put her in a bunker and demanded $5,000us dollars. She said ok its decision time! She decided to talk to the...

The cosmos doesn’t measure sweat and hours for reward. The cosmos deals in the currencies of joy and satisfaction. (unknown) I saw this quote this week, I wrote it down, I don’t remember who said it and where I got it. I have gotten into the habit of writing down things that I see that resonate with me. So I got to thinking about it. Why? Because many of us were taught work hard, break your back with hard work and the results will come. And in my mind I know a lot of hard workers, a lot of people who work all the time, they never even take a holiday and if they are taking time off of work its not for a break its to work more at home or to get something done either for someone and with someone. These people, in my experience, are either complaining about how hard they are working and they are broke. Or they are unfulfilled in what they are doing and it seeps into everything into their life. So what’s the point of working hard then? And that is why this statement spoke to me I ...

“What will matter is the good we did, not the good we expected others to do.” ― Elizabeth Lesser , Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow Birthday was peaceful! It was actually pretty good being with myself. I enjoyed it. I decided to go to dinner, I sat down and ordered and was enjoying my meal. The waiter came over, he says you are smiling a lot and you are alone. Really? Yes you are! I said to him it was my birthday. He was ready to faint, you have no friends? Why are you here alone on your birthday? I told him I’m not alone. That’s when he started watching me like a crazy lady! LOL! Try it one time, just spending the day alone treating yourself like ah boss!!! Which means in Trini lingo like you are worth every penny, like you are the best thing since slice bread! When you do drop me a line and let me know how it goes. The food was yummy and the company was good as well so all in all my first birthday in Uganda was a good one! Back to the base today! ...

You can't go back under any circumstances! Throw gasoline on the bridge. Strike a match and burn it. You can't go back to the old you...because you know that person is your greatest enemy. You can't go back to the old habits...becaus­e those choices will sabotage you. You can't go back to that old relationship. That old relationship not only held you back, but it got you off track, and dislocated you from yourself. You can't go back to the same old people...becaus­e the person they once knew doesn't live here anymore. You can't go back to the old places...becaus­e they don't fit into your future. Look at yourself. Be honest with yourself. Don't look back because in doing so, you will be pulled back in. Keep your eyes looking forward. Work on yourself. Develop yourself. Pursue your dream. Build a new life by attracting new people, and creating a new reality! This is your time! You can't go back...because you've come too far to turn around n...

The basis of your life is freedom and the purpose of your life is joy. The result of that will be never ending expansion. People believe that growth is what they are here for and so they put the emphasis on growth and not on joy Marianne Williamson Yesterday I had the great privilege to spend some time listening to a forum facilitated by Marianne Williamson, the wonderful author and speaker, one of my greatest teachers on this journey. She talked about changing your thoughts and how that changes your life. This is what I took away from the session, what I learnt So what did I learn today? There is nothing random about our lives, we are really and truly here for a purpose. We have been conditioned and taught that life is about collecting, accumulating, growth and comparison. And therein where the treadmill starts. We go for the growth and compare what we have and what we do with others not realizing that everyone has their own blueprint and purpose. When you have ...

whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice . Phillipians 4 We lost one of the trucks in the village she was gone for days! We were brainstorming on what to do, one of the ladies was on the truck with a driver. Just as we were about to send someone to look for her she called, said that she was ok and would be coming back at about 9pm. I said I would be there. She came back and related me a story of what took place that had her "missing "for a few days that had my mouth on the floor, which is for another time . Anyways in the middle of the story she asked me who are the story tellers in your town? I asked her what do you mean. She said, who tells the stories, ok maybe who interprets the news, the things that happen for all to understa...

Be careful of your self-talk. Without monitoring your mind and your mouth, the majority of what you say to yourself can poison your attitude; weaken your spirit; and drain your energy. Les Brown Stand guard at the door of your mind! Most times we beat up ourselves the most! The words, the self chatter you are the first to hear.   What are you telling yourself on a daily basis? What are you feeding your mind? Who and what is being let in the door? I didn’t understand at first when I first heard that a mind is a terrible thing to waste, but now it is clear to me. What I feed my mind manifests in my life, it really is that simple. And it starts with me, what do I call myself, what do I say about myself? And then it follows on to who and what I let in. We are that powerful, we have the choice to decide who gets time and space in our life and in our mind Me, I personally refuse to be around the negative vibes, I choose to flood my mind with positive vibes right through, al...