What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Young people, it’s important to not allow toxic culture to lead you into mind control—a modern day form of slavery. Keep exposing yourself to who and what inspires you to not just have better ‘things’, but to be better, think better, create better, and vibrate higher in the world Lalah Delia Today, I had the absolute honor to be the feature speaker at the Bishops and Trinity East Sixth Form School Achievement Day. The school won an unprecedented 20 scholarships. I could not even be more proud of the school, the teachers, the staff. They worked so hard with patience and love, the results are now showing with these all wonderful all round students that they are producing. This school is willing to take risks, they are willing to move beyond just academics to produce students who focus on being productive world citizens. I want to take the opportunity to congratulate all the students, the teachers, the support staff and everyone involved. I want to urge them to continue to show a...

Here's how clarity works...it's a doorway to understanding what you need, why you need it, and how to honor that need. The fog that's hovering over your feelings, your decisions, and your doubt will finally clear and aha...clarity. It feels like freedom and sings like gospel song. Soft, beautiful, and uniquely true. It's clarity. Because it's you . Maxie McCoy Clarity requires that we be completely honest with ourselves. It requires a level of courage that may even scare you.  Clarity requires that we love ourselves enough to know that there may be some people that are not comfortable with your level of clarity. When that is the case to not be too concerned with others and their confusion over your own clarity. When you are clear, their confusion will not shake you or break you. Clarity requires that you take the time to know who you are, and why you are here. Getting to clarity is a process, not an event. It takes time. Clarity is about boun...

Myth   1 : Power lies in the title – biggest myth power lies in you not a title, in you understanding who you are, and that is a long journey P ower plays Power moves Power slots Power positions Do you have a definition of power?  Do you know what your power is, where your power lies? Do you believe that you have power? Is money power?  Is your position at your job, your home, your church, any organisation that you are a part of considered power? Is power just for the have's? Can the have not's have some of the power? Are you afraid of your power? Where is your power? Gary Zukav said that your authentic self is the foundation of your power. I have learnt that we are all born powerful, by virtue of us being here, we are powerful. Our power lies in the belief that who we are is enough, and once we start from that place, the power that we have grows exponentially. I learnt this after realizing that no amount of money, status, friends in high...

A Delay is Not a Denial - Luke 18 Disappointment sucks doesn't it? When that thing that you want so bad is eluding you, or taken away from you or even denied, doesn't it feel like a sucker punch to the gut? Confessions on the Journey - disappointment hurts! As part of the human race, I want what I want when I want it. Can anyone feel me here? What I have learnt is, sometimes what I want is not what I need and sometimes what I want is not what is best for me. I have also learnt that divine timing is always on time, so sometimes what I want, I am not ready to receive. We are not ready when we are in fear, when we are in doubt, when we are yet to learn some of the lessons requires us to be that person that can receive the very thing you say we want. Sometimes we have to be more patient, more disciplined, more focused, more restful. Whatever it is, once we get there that thing that we are ready for seems to just fall in our laps. Disappointment is also about letting go of ...

so many times in life we allow fear to stop us in our tracks:the sad thing is we don't always recognise that we are afraid. We find excuses and rationalisations. We create responsibilities, true or false,we must tend to before we move forward,we create challenges and obstacles so real in our minds they manifest in our lives. Behind it all is fear. Iyanla Vanzant There are times that I return from a trip abroad and I am feel trapped. It's almost like I feel that I have returned to some sort of cave with one window. The feeling comes and goes I thought about it yesterday and decided to spend some time with the feeling, asking it to come chat with me for a moment, I want to get to know you better before I make a decision. What I  learnt is, I want to do more, I am impatient about the process, some fear is seeping in that I am not doing enough. The old "not enoughness" rearing its head again. The cave is self imposed. And guess what? Amazing things can happen in a ...

“No matter where you’re from, your dreams are valid. ”— Lupita Nyong’o .  Thank you Guyana, I had a wonderful experience being there and seeing your bold ambition of being a green state. Many people think your vision for a fully green state is crazy. I think that is one reason why I'm on board. I believe all our dreams ought to be Huge, dreams ought to make you feel excited, it ought to stretch you. This is a concept which although not new is not fully seen in this part of the world, additionally Guyana just found oil so it is easy for them to neglect the green part of everything So I take back the lessons of dreaming big and going for it no matter of others believe that I am crazy as hell Dream Big Peace Have you read any of Akosua's work? What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here? Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal Follow Akosua on Twitter Instagram Facebook

When you have an intact, healthy sense of worth, you value other people. You realize that people are different. You understand that people see things and interpret things in different ways. You do not compare yourself to them, nor do you feel the need to compete with them. You know who you are, which means you can accept others as they are .Until Today I decided to take in the towns off the Essquibo River yesterday, as usual asked no questions We cross the river using a very huge and long draw bridge onto "the other side" drove for about another hour and there we were on a pier. Ok, so far so good. Then I saw the boat that I would be entering to cross this river, which by the way is so huge! Seems smaller compared to the Nile, maybe it was my extreme concern about the boat The boat was a small wooden structure that held a maximum of ten people - to me 7 too much The captain said the wood never sinks, whatever happens the boat will float! Well I have none of that type ...

some days i show up by candlelight, and other days as a wildfire . Diamond Dorris I was scheduled to conduct a workshop yesterday. I kept asking all day about the logistics, I was told that it would be done. The time ticked by, I still kept asking. Just at the end of the day I was told to come to a particular place at 4pm. I arrived and the spot wasn't ready, there was nothing in place. Ok then, so do I light a fire or not? I decided to be kind. What are the options? They had none Can you come up with some options? They came up with three options What is the best option? They mention what they believe the best option and I accepted. The workshop will go on tomorrow Once the workshop is completed I will have a word about the organisation, the big picture is the workshop. How many times have I not kept the big picture in mind and get caught up in the minor details? The minor details are just that, minor. The means towards the end are important. Leaving the ego out is im...

Attitude and perspective is everything. If you’re a pessimist, then you have negative thoughts that won’t go away no matter what the odds are. If you’re a realist, you are just coming to terms and accepting a situation rather than feeling like it was yours or someone else’s fault. Bolde What is the difference between stating what is and what it should be? What is the difference between showing anger and being negative? What is the difference between being nosy and showing concern? I ask myself these questions quite a bit, particularly in times where I realise that I am on the verge of getting annoyed.or feeling resentful. I have learnt that intention plays such a huge part in what we do, even unintentionally. That is to say if we set no intention for what we are doing our subconscious takes over, whatever we are thinking consciously or subconsciously reflects itself in our reality. The other thing that I learnt is that bringing in opinions based on past hurt, trauma and is...

The right people hear you differently - Lalah Delia Today was the day that all the politicians and the rest of technocrats were scheduled to be present. They called it the formal part! I was interested to see the Guyanese version of formalities. Why? It seems that many former colonies of Britain all have this way they behave at formal political and Government functions. Confessions on the Journey - I am so over it! It seems ancient to me and there are so many ways to show respect to an office and a person, there are so many ways to host a function, there are so many ways to show love for country but adoption and adaptation of old school rules, Anyways I digress The commitment made by the Guyanese government  to transform and be a green economy by 2040 is commendable, it is to be applauded and congratulated. They have managed to mesh their discovery of oil and gas with the vision to be green in the midst of it all. Well done to them, I was indeed heartened and inspired by this...

Until today, you may not have realized that you have the power to reshape and redefine any experience Iyanla I am in Guyana to facilitate sessions at this Conference and appear on a panel - that is all I know The agenda I have't seen - not because I haven't asked, I have asked and was told that the agenda is shifting and will be given the details tonight. I let go immediately the fear and need to be in control, the Universe is obviously talking to me. As soon as I let go, my gracious host asked if I wanted to go into town to do errands in preparation for the workshop. I jumped at the opportunity, after all, what else would I do back at the conference centre? We took a taxi into town, the capital of Guyana is called Georgetown , they call where we were going "Town Town" a combination of wide tree lined streets, old historic buildings and loads of people on the streets selling, shopping, standing and talking. The vibes was high, the sun was so hot we abandoned al...

What you do for your highest good, for your own well being, is going to be good for everyone else. It will be a bit scary at first, but in the end, you will feel a lot better. You will be clear. You will have put everyone on notice.  Iyanla This my first time in Guyana, this is the first time I am asked to facilitate this type of workshop, Confessions on the Journey - I felt a tad bit overwhelmed, I looked at the panel and thought wowee, this is different to my usual get on the mic and speak sort of thing, anyways, having said that I will show up ready! The flight was short and sweet, the driver assigned to take me to the hotel seemed to me to be a lovely person, we had a very lively and funny conversation on the hour drive to the hotel. I was told that there would be a meeting at the hotel  going on when I arrive so join in. I put the bags down and headed to the "meeting", it was a full on production of the Expo happening. The room was full of people, boxes ever...

Do the Work - Iyanla Do you know what your triggers are? I'm talking about the things that piss you off when spoken, said and done because you haven't dealt with an issue, something you know is causing you to be defensive  to the point of shutting down? Are there certain people that just piss you off, you think for no good reason? You think its because they were born. I am of the view that there is always a reason, always a back story I started realising that some things and some people trigger me, I decided to pay attention I decided to face the honest brutal truth that they trigger me for a couple of reasons, I get jealous, I judge them and I don't want to deal with a back story, a memory from the past that got me angry that I had pushed to the back of my mind. I strongly believe that we have responsibility for our choices, our responses, the moment we start blaming others and justifying our choices by saying its someone else who made us do it, then we start gi...

Learning that you can’t control the other person’s reaction, and that it can be destructive to try, can be incredibly liberating. It not only gives the other person the space to react however they need to, but also takes a huge amount of pressure off you. You will learn things about yourself based on their reaction, but if you are prepared to learn, you’ll feel free from the desperate need for their reaction to go one certain way.”  Douglas Stone Tough conversations are.....well tough! They take so much courage and quite a bit of willingsness to be vulnerable. Many of us prefer not to be vulnerable and to remain safe. It seems safer to remain where we are than run the risk of being seen as weak or as confrontational or whatever story we make up to validate not facing up to what we need to face up to I am one that absolutely avoids confrontation, I cannot stand it, so courageous conversations are truly a huge lesson for me What I have learnt though is this 1. Say what you...

Because you are a living being — you need to always be where you can grow, thrive, and feel nourished. Lalah Delia Many times we stay, we stay and make up reasons and rationale and justifications about why we stay, why we cannot leave, why being where we are is where we are supposed to be, about the sacrifice and the struggle. Granted, there are some times that the lesson is in the "staying" the lesson is about patience and discipline and surrender. And then there are times the lesson is in letting go, is in trusting and having faith and willingness to let go and to take risks When you are getting sick all the time - it's time to be in a place where you are able to bloom When you are sad most of the time - it's time to be in a place where you can bloom When you are making up excuses and justifications both to yourself and others - it's time to be in a place where you can bloom When you are escaping through food, drugs, sex, shopping, medication- it is t...

You work from sunup to sundown, afraid to stop, afraid to lose your worth in the eyes of others. But more important, you are afraid that the moment you stop doing, you will lose the worth and value you have placed on yourself. It is this, do- more -better- faster approach to living that leads to physical, mental, emotional and spiritual imbalance - Iyanla Balance! I have heard about this term "Work-Life Balance" The term became popular because we became a society that work more than anything else, we put work above it all because we believed it allowed us to live better lives. A bit of wrong sided logic. I have learnt that without balance, the scales are tipped, and usually not in your favour. I have also learnt that when one is doing something with purpose and intention the balance is automatically built in. Consider this, if you love yourself and is moving on purpose, you will make it your business to rest, you will be having fun and you will be grateful for the li...

Wherever you go, go with all your heart.  Confucius This morning I had the opportunity to speak to the students at the San Juan South Secondary School's Career and Achievement Day. I must admit, speaking with teenagers terrify me, they are honest to the point of brutality, they don't pretend if they are not feeling you or getting the message I always take the opportunity to speak to them because it pushes me over my comfort zone, I know right there and then when I have to raise my game even more than when I show up with what I think is a game changing message! This morning did not disappoint, the energy in the room was high, they were there with me all the way guiding me to raise the game and be present in the moment. I truly learnt today how to feel comfortable with discomfort. and as soon as I surrendered to that feeling, we bacame one, the thing flowed so much, I was lauging and smiling and hollering, totally lost in the moment as opposed to me wondering if the audience...

Being true to yourself is not always easy. For fear of not being accepted, we tailor our personality, mince our words, and carve our opinions to fit in. It takes courage to be real… and it takes stamina because if you want the best out of life, it will demand the best of you time and time again. Danielle La Porte Sunday I had the extreme pleasure of hosting the young ladies from the NiNa Programme at the house for their birthday party Quite a few of them have their birthday in October so it has turn into an annual event, last year we were kind enough to be given a place to use, this year the ladies decided upon a photoshoot as their birthday present. The absolute joy for the simple things is what gets me everytime The cake was a big deal The ice cream was a big deal The photos were a big deal The KFC after was a big deal The people who came for the lime was a big deal A total reminder to me that it is always the simple things that count It is always the love, It is alway...

We are inspired by people who go beyond the norm and push the boundaries of possibility. Mediocrity, on the other hand, does not inspire. Nor does it lead to greatness. Success, however you define it, will elude you unless you are willing to push the limits you have placed on yourself and that others have placed on you.” Have you ever sat down and defined what success means for you? Not the TV version, or your parent's version, or the society's version. Your own version of success, that you sat and thought about, that involves big dreams and being frightened at its possibilities? If you haven't ask yourself why Have you ever sat down and thought about staying where you are just because it is comfortable? That it allows you to pay your bills and eat? Is it a given that you do this until "better can be done" because you have responsibilities? If you have, ask yourself - how am I feeling? Your feelings are the guide If you are denying your feelings, your li...

“In the end these things matter most: How well did you love? How fully did you live? How deeply did you let go?” – Jack Kornfield,  Buddha’s Little Instruction Book Yesterday I attended a funeral, I did not know him very well, we crossed paths at secondary school where he taught, he went on to influence so many of my friends and became an icon in our local musical landscape. Even though I was a poor student in his music class, he always from that day whenever I saw him, smiled said hello and asked how was I doing. Everyone who spoke if him yesterday spoke of his humility, his smile and his attitude of love. He left teaching the school to go on to follow his dreams, a bold move as declared by everyone! How many of us are willing to take the risks to step out and be bold with our hopes and dreams? He did it and although it was tough he was able t influence so so many lives I truly admired his courage and discipline What I learned yesterday is to go for it, do it with love, do ...

All things come in due season - Iyanla Vanzant Rushing anything is a complete waste of time and effort, I truly believe in Divine Timing. And, like nature we are also subject to some of its laws. Have you ever seen the sun rush to set or to rise? I also truly believe that our blessings have our names on it, aka, what is for you is for you! We can chose whether or not we want to go and claim it by doing the work and having the faith. We trip ourselves up wanting things when we want it, when we want it and all indications show that it is not yet the time nor is it the thing that really is for you. We basically force it, we force it because we want to look good and be good! When it does not happen the way we believe it ought to happen we get depressed, angry, despondent and wonder if something is wrong with us! Divine timing - it works. You cannot force it, you cannot force anything, it will not last. What is for you, you will have once, you put the work in and have faith. and...

You cannot have love if your heart is closed You cannot have money if you are afraid of it You cannot have freedom if you are unwilling to make choices You cannot have peace if you think it means giving up something essential to your survival - One Day My Soul Just Opened Up What you are running from you are running to I love the line in the Course in Miracles that says whatever is lacking in a situation is because you have been unwilling to give it If you want love, be willing to give love If you want peace, be willing to be peace And you can extend it to other things, the book you want to read, why not write it, the song you want to sing why not sing it? The dress you want to wear, why not create it? So many times our default is reasons, rationale, justification and excuses about why not! You want to do something, you mention it but disclaim I have no money right now I have no friends to go with me I have no I cannot It does not make sense Talking yourself right ...

Trying is a dark, dark word -  you are either do or you don't - Carolyn Myss I pay particular attention to when I use the word try. (I think I may have mentioned before that a few have called me the "try police") I pay attention to when I use the word because most times I use it when I am either in fear or in denial. For example when someone asks me - Are you doing so and so? When I respond with I am trying, it usually means that I am giving it a half-assed effort and to stop the conversation I say I'm trying to show them and to justify in my mind that I am actually doing something. I really ain't doing shit but it sounds so good to say I am trying. It also takes some pressure off of me - if I am trying and it's not working maybe I ought to stop? I also say I am trying when I am unsure. If I am in doubt about whether I can do or complete a task. I say I am trying to do it. Words to me are alive, once the words are breathed into life it becomes a pa...