What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Things you don’t use. People who use you. Possessions-roles-gigs that make you feel pinched, or awkward, cheated, compromised, heavy, confused…stuffed — they need to go. You know this. But it’s not just because dumping the chump and reducing your carbon footprint is a rightful, socially responsible and life-affirming action. It’s because possibility requires space to unfold. Danielle La Porte author Clear space. Expand possibility. Everywhere. Clear the way, make room, I’m coming through! I’ve noticed that over the past few months that I am getting comfortable with making room and clearing out! It was a tough journey to get here but I know when it’s being “forced” on me that it is time to pay attention! When I was coming to Uganda I took the stuff that I thought I would need the most and packed it. It fit into two suitcases. I got to the airport and they told me that I was only allowed one case I can either pay for the excess or leave it. I said I need my stuff I will pay,...

Gallon People – Am I surrounding myself with people who are purpose? When you expect people to perform and even love on a gallon level and they are a pint person you will be frustrated as they cannot measure up to your expectations you can’t have a lot of pint people around you if you are a gallon person. Irrigate yourself with more gallon people, love and leave the pints alone! Bishop TD Jakes The Monday morning sessions sometimes get heated! The Boss is one the most passionate and animated people that I have ever met! She gets excited about everything she does and the volume gets turned up! I respect that, passion is one quality that takes you through the tough times , and trust me on the entrepreneurship journey there will be tough times, in fact on any journey! She asked me a question on my opinion on one of the projects. I responded that we needed to build the capacity of the people involved. She looked at me and said, you are too polite, when people cannot measure up, n...

Walking through life feeling overwhelmed is a courage barrier. You can’t do your best work, be connected to yourself and others, or live your courageous life when there’s a constant, nagging undercurrent of “More to do! Not enough time!” or a sense that peace is only available…after you get past your to-do list . Kate Courageous, author I’m too busy to do that! How many times have you heard or said that? I have so much to do, I can’t do that! What about that one? I’ve learnt to stop the glorification of busy! There is always enough time! It’s all about choice and perception and many many times its either fear, laziness and lack of discipline that triggers those words “I’m to busy”! How is it self loving to be too busy to exercise, or eat lunch, or eat at all? How does it help your family when you are too busy to spend time with them? How does it help your business or relationships because you are too busy to return phone calls or messages – that one is simple rude! ...

What is the point? What is the purpose in lashing out with the intention to hurt and maim, only to later attempt to justify or solidify one's reasons for being vulgar? What is the purpose? Natalie Stewart (poet)         Yesterday I lost my car keys in Kampala at about 9.30am! Well well what a lesson, simply, do not lose the keys to your car in the African matrix! Then to find someone who I can understand and who can understand me to come to the car and make a duplicate!   I called the base, they told me don’t get a locksmith they will make a copy and come and steal the car, hot wire it! Me? Hot wire a car? I know I am learning new things but hello hot wiring a car in Kampala no sireee I asked them why are they always thinking the worse about every situation? They told me if I live here long enough I will realise that people are not what they seem. I told them I refuse to think that way there must be some good le...

There is no shortage. And any attention to shortage of something wanted will always produce negative emotion within you because your guidance is letting you know that you have strayed from your broader basic understanding of abundance and Well-Being. Whether you are focused upon the shortage of money—or seeing yourself as having only so many years to live (and so each day that is expended is one day closer to the end of your years)—that feeling of decline is contrary to your broader understanding of the Eternal nature of your Being. Marianne Williamson author t the WFP meeting yesterday it struck me, there is so much food in Africa, I have seen it with my own eyes! The whole drought thing, I take that with a pinch of salt now! There are fruits that grow like wild grass, mangoes and paw paw’s at the side of the road like wild berries!   The issues are distribution of the food! OK so the people in the camps need to eat, I get that! But the red tape and standards and no...

"Right now, A farmer is looking at his organic crops and whispering, “ nourish them .” Just returned from a World Food Programme (WFP) meeting in Kampala!I learnt that there are over 200,000 refugees in Uganda alone, I learnt that if the WFP wasn't in operation chances are that they may not eat! I learnt that there is a lot of red tape to feed them, I learnt that the funding was cut by over 50% this year and farmers and providers have to be creative I learnt acceptance, humility, forgiveness and love Have a great day people! Peace!!

To have a really good life means sticking with something long enough to see if it works for you, admitting when it doesn't, moving on without fear or anger and exacting the blessings from the lessons, because you know that every lesson is a blessing . Iyanla Today I have attached a story on me done on the Trinidad and Tobago Innovation Network! I was chosen as their Champion of the Month Have an awesome day all Peace!!! http://www.ttfi.net/article_view/543

Awake, You greet another day with the choices that you make, Decide what you will leave, decide what you will take, Decisions are the key to release what you don’t need If you gonna let it be, then you have to let it be! ( Natalie Stewart, poet)   It’s really sometimes, well many times, down to a decision! So simple! Just for you to decide what’s it going to be! Decision to me is not saying you are going to do something, that’s part of it, it’s in the doing! Decision is doing! Massive action   On base, I was pulled aside and told about tribes, and tribal disagreements and who might use witchcraft and who will never get along due to tribal tensions which have been going on for hundreds of years.   One of the ladies seems to be particularly bitter, causing havoc and getting into heated arguments and fights quite a bit! I was caught up in one of her “days”. At first I was thinking well golly, why on earth is this lady so over the top! But during the time he...

The other person acts as he must act, according to his nature. And you react the way you react, according to your nature. Your reaction is not caused by the action of the other as it apparently seems. Your reaction (of bad feeling/disgust etc.) was caused because the seed of the feeling was within you, waiting to be triggered by any external entity . Sudhir Krishnan It’s the simple things, the small things that turn to big things! The law is clear, whatsoever you sow you reap, it doesn’t matter if you sow them unconsciously. This is why it is so important to pay attention and be conscious of what you give your attention to. Many times on the journey I would use as an excuse that is was someone else’s fault that justified my behaviour and my response to people and events, but I have learnt that the old saying of how one behaves is their karma and how your respond is yours. I started paying attention and taking responsibility for the seeds that I plant! This is not to say th...

Right now, Someone is fighting the fight so that you don’t have to . Danielle La Porte We were having lunch; there were people from different African countries, then me, from the Trinidad and Tobago. We were talking about our different countries and asking a load of questions. The conversation shifted towards family and brothers and sisters. I said I did not grow up with brothers and sisters. They grew silent! Then they asked me if I ever heard about a village raising a child. I said yes! They asked me if that is a concept practised in my country. I paused for a bit. They told me. A child means until the person has left the Earth so if there is someone in the family with the smarts to go to University everyone in the family contributes to that child’s education, no questions asked. There is no problem of that child not going without or not having what it takes to finish their education and likewise if there is a sick person in the family, there are no questions asked, we just ta...

Stand up straight and realize who you are, that you tower over your circumstances. You are a child of God. Stand up straight. ( Maya Angelo, author) I will do it tomorrow, I will do it when I lose weight or maybe when I get some more cash. I will do it when the kids are grown and gone, or maybe when their exams are over. I will do it when the weather is better or maybe when there is rain so I can stay inside and concentrate. I will do it when I am less stressed out or maybe when I am more stressed out. Or maybe I need to do this but I am not ready, I need to do this but...... Heard these all before? Any of them familiar? Yea my favourite is I will do it tomorrow. No more of that! What did I learn today? If you do not understand the world is waiting for you to stake your claim on it, then it is you who will continue to sit on the bench, on the sidelines, wondering and waiting when your time will arrive. Stop waiting. Your time is now. Now is the only time there ever is. ...

 I think it’s a universal law that you have to clear space for newness to enter; let something die for something to be born; cleanse to heal; let go to receive. Just like we clear our lungs to take in new air, we need to empty our minds of dull ideas to create brighter lives. I’m talking here about choosing to let go, not letting go when you are backed so far into a corner with the Universe’s whispers now turning into screams! I’m talking about being conscious and proactive here! So the let go’s   for today: Letting go of the promises that I have outgrown, If it’s is keeping me smaller or duller or safer than the person I’ve become, then it’s not serving anyone. Letting go the material shit that I just don’t like. In fact, if I don’t LOVE it, making a plan to get rid of it. For the love of life, letting go of the idea that there’s not enough time. Now is what I got for sure and now is all that matters Peace!!

Free yourself of the responsibility of trying to make other people happy. Respect and love them enough to allow them to take care of their own happiness ( unknown) I cannot remember where I got the quote above from, I usually walk around with my little note book and if I see or hear something I write it down. I thought this one was “tuff” (one of my favourite slangs too, for pretty good!). And right on cue as usual I am flipping through my book yesterday after a conversation on base and there it was staring me in the face! One of the guys was going on and on all day about how he’s doing all that he can to make the boss happy and she is never happy or satisfied with him. I asked him is it your responsibility to make her happy or is it your responsibility to do your job to the best of your ability? Seems as though you are focusing on making her happy and neglecting the job she asked you to do which you are pretty good at! And then I thought about myself, OMG! A lesson righ...

We build kingdoms, townhouses and condos for your problems, or we invite them in and run baths for them – Iyanla (the absolute truth teller for real!!!) I’m having a conversation about what “burning questions”! What are some of the burning questions that you ask yourself or if someone asks you a burning question about you and your life how do you respond? So, I ask well what you consider a burning question then. “When do you feel powerful? Passionate, free, incredibly useful, excited and inspired?” What an absolutely awesome question and truth be told I couldn’t answer it right away, I was expecting to hear something totally different! Can you answer it now? Hmm, I will have to think about it Madam, you have got to know yourself and know how to answer these questions ok? OK! I bet if I ask you about what’s not working in your life or what your problems and issues are you can recite it straight away! Leave that alone for a minute, not to ignore it but know t...

Right now, Someone has recently cracked open their joyous, genuine nature because they did the hard work of hauling years of oppression off of their psyche Danielle La Porte, author One doesn’t just wake up one morning and is suddenly enlightened! Sorry it just doesn’t work that way! It is not by magic that your life is changes, it’s by choice! One has to be willing to do the work, it is really just that simple. Doing the work takes responsibility, it takes self love, and compassion, it takes you telling the truth to yourself every single time! Denial and blame becomes things of the past! As soon as you find yourself denying and playing the same blame, you are off track, get off that bus and take another one You got to be willing to do the work and accept some good home truths about yourself and your life and trust me it ain’t pretty or fun at most times. I am telling you in my case, I was deep in denial, in a cave really, a deep dark one! I kept telling myself that...

  As soon as you see something, you already start to intellectualize it. As soon as you intellectualize something, it is no longer what you saw." - Shunryu Suzuki-roshi There was an animated discussion on base this weekend! While it was going on I didn’t understand what was being said as it was in their language. Then I saw the animators move towards me, approaching me with a number of newspapapers. Madam have a look at this I took the papers Well you can have this one back its in Luganda and I don’t understand the language yet I asked, what am I looking at? They told me that the Government is on the verge of banning miniskirts; they want a discussion on this and my thoughts. Women could be arrested for donning skirts above the knee if the law is passed. What are your views and thoughts, you are the people who live here! One guy said, let’s start a campaign “save the mini” One young woman said “It’s a huge waste of time, does wearing a ski...

Praise and blame are all equal and only feedback, not truth. Mastin Kipp Chances are that when you show up as yourself you will piss some people off! Chances are that everyone is not going to like what you have to say and what you stand for. Chances are that some of the decisions you make will not go down well with your family members, chances are that you may not even please yourself every single time. Show up and step up anyway. If you want to step up, step out, shine and let it go! I suffered from the disease to please – I’m in recovery now! I had this notion that I must not piss people off but I have learnt when you show up as you and living your truth chances are that pissing people off is inevitable. Show up anyway! I was asked here why do I feel the need to have to prove anything to anyone? I have nothing to prove. Just be you, all the time, do your best and that’s enough! If you’re not generating some resistance, you’re probably not fully stepping out ...

The more you focus on the problem, the more detailed it becomes. Focus on the problem and it comes from every angle. If you are set on specific details of unwanted things that’s exactly what will come back to you. And it’s coming in a spiral 0f knowing what you don’t want and getting more of it. (Abraham Hicks, author, love her live talks a whole lot!) Many people think I am secretive! My ex husband said it to me regularly, at family gatherings they shout across the table, “secret agent, pass the peas”! Sometimes I would laugh and other times I would scream under my breath! Me, secretive? Whatever do they mean? I am a bloody open book! Now that I pay more attention I get it and last night it came up to me and tapped me on the shoulder, I prefer to stay quiet that talk to people who rain on the parade! You know the feeling of having an awesome idea that rocks the bottom of your belly? The kind that keeps you up at night? Then you say something and the response is “that is un...

"According to A Course in Miracles, there are only two basic emotions: one is fear, the other is love. You may fear the disapproval of others. Take that risk and you'll discover that you receive more approval when you don't seek it than when you do. You may fear the unknown. Take that risk as well. Wander in there, asking yourself, "What is the worst thing that can happen if this doesn't work out?" The truth is that you will just move beyond it. You're not going to starve to death or be tortured if it doesn't work out... Fear knocked at the door. Love answered and no one was there." - Wayne Dyer , page 29 from his book "10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace." Dyer is a popular American self-help advocate, author and lecturer. This morning the penny dropped, a PD moment! I am selling my house in Trinidad, I told the bank that that I have put it up for sale, they are happy they said great you can pay off the arrears that you hav...

There is so much about my fate that I cannot control, but other things do fall under the jurisdiction. I can decide how I spend my time, whom I interact with, whom I share my body and life and money and energy with. I can select what I can read and eat and study. I can choose how I’m going to regard unfortunate circumstances in my life-whether I will see them as curses or opportunities. I can choose my words and the tone of voice in which I speak to others. And most of all, I can choose my thoughts.” ( Elizabeth Gilbert, author)   She had this way where she would watch me and say to me “ what’s the monkey mind saying to you now?, get still and listen within!” This question would suddenly surface when I seemingly don’t get my way or I want to “fix” something!   “what’s the monkey mind?” it’s the chitter   chatter that is prodding you to fix, to make it right, to look good, it’s your big fat ego telling you that either to win at all costs or that you’re failing! ...

You run long and hard, you get tired. That’s a fact. Marathoners don’t criticize themselves after a race for being exhausted. They rest . Danielle La Porte On a Monday morning we sit together and brainstorm and chat about where the business is heading, what decisions need to be made for growth and survival and all that lovely stuff! On this Monday, we were supposed to go to Gulu to work (Gulu is an 7 to 8 hour drive from Kampala). I came in and she said listen let’s keep this Monday thing going, you stay and lead the charge while I head to Gulu, follow me on later. “Are you sure?” “Yes, let’s keep the momentum going with the Monday sessions” Just as I settle down to start the session, the phone rings, I do not recognize the number. Well of course not it’s a call to say that she has been arrested along with everyone in the car! “What????” I don’t even have to ask why! This time it may be that the friend in the police force does not answer the phone! We need to a...

My work is loving the world. Are my boots old? Is my coat torn? Am I no longer young, and still half-perfect? Let me keep my mind on what matters, which is my work, which is mostly standing still and learning to be astonished . Mary Oliver, (my second favourite poet) Confession time on the journey! Being present in the moment is tough. Over the past few months I have learnt that the most important time is the present, it is now! And boy do I agree! When I am present and in the now, the experience, whatever it is, is so much more relevant, it’s bigger, it provides meaning and a lesson. Being in the present moment takes discipline, it takes focus, it takes surrender. I don’t mean surrender like giving up, I mean surrender like knowing that once you release the need to be in control or to have things your way and know that you know that you know that everything will be alright! I have the tendency to flip from the present to the future, to what I want to do, what I am going t...