What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

" Good job." says self to self. "Thank you for your words of wisdom." self replies. "Give Thanks" they say in unison, and together proceed into what now must become . Natalie Stewart I’m pretty excited today! Well I’ve been excited since last night. I was on the phone with the publisher talking about how we will approach the marketing of my book. As we were talking, Megan, the marketing expert says to me “are you sitting down?” Yea I am “Congratulations, your book is ready to hit the stores, you just say the word and we set a launch date!” What????????? Yes, it’s done, we are sending you out a copy tomorrow! I said to her “ can you hold on for one minute?” I ran around the flat, I screamed into the cushion and did a wine (our local dance) then I went back to the phone So what did I learn today? I am absolutely convinced that action is the bridge between your dreams and making it happen! I am absolutely convinced that every actio...

Not everybody can be famous, but everybody can be great because greatness is determined by service.” Dr Martin Luther King jr.   When did we stop dreaming? When did we stop striving for oneness, equality, a better life? We have interpreted a better life as having more material possessions. And yes, that is part of the picture however it is not the full monty! There are many many examples of people and countries that have little of what we call necessities and they are happy! The choice is what is important, I think it is important for us to have a choice whether we want the “stuff” or not! What has happened to us? What has happened to us that we have forgotten what has gone before us which allows us to live the life that we now live? What is this fascination with selfish wants and means to an end by whatever means necessary? Whatever part of the world you are from, there are people who paved the way for you, who came before you and made it better for you t...

I don’t shy away from leading, teaching or mentoring. I just don’t think I need to present like I’m something special or doing something that others aren’t capable of in order to use my voice. Do I have expertise? Sure. Am I great at things? You betcha. I also have a lot of dishes in my sink, a smashed up car and stretch marks. And these, among all my foibles, failures and imperfections, do not negate my capacity to make a difference and offer what I have. We hold ourselves and each other to bullshit standards which results in fraudulence and fakery and a really stressed out culture. ( Chela Davidson, life coach) The talk about judgement and judging other people was still in my head! Sometimes things hit home when they are really close to you. I recognized that I have been judging people without knowing what the full story is, lacking the knowledge and background, then what happens is like cause and effect other people in turn judge me! We all are on a journey learning lessons a...

"What anyone else has or does not have has nothing to do with you. The only thing that affects your experience is the way you utilize the Non-Physical Energy with your thought. Your abundance or lack of it in your experience has nothing to do with what anybody else is doing or having. It has only to do with your perspective. It has only to do with your offering of thought. If you want your fortunes to shift, you have to begin telling a different story."   - Esther Abraham-Hicks , best-selling author. They left me to “keep an eye on the place” while they made a work related trip up North for one week. Seems easy enough, everyone knows what they have to do! Day one, smooth like ice cream! Day two ice cream still sharing! Day 3, I am inside, “Madam Akosua, they have refused to work” What? What do you mean refuse to work? They have refused. I go outside every man jack sitting down with arms folded! Oh oh it looks like a strike! “What’s going on?” they have refused to wor...

The vast majority of mankind currently lives in a world of unconscious co-creation. Many are running on autopilot and are unaware that their inner world (their thoughts, feelings and imagery) is where their creative power resides (Iyanla Vanzant) So I decided to do the Rotary Cancer 10k on Sunday. Now this is not totally abnormal but what made it in my mind seem so challenging was that on Saturday the boxing training was intense! After the session my muscles were cussing me! I said to myself “self, you must be a nutter to go and do this race after that boxing session, but I got an answer right away, do it, just because you can!) I arrived there early, at the Kololo Air Strip, the starting point of the race but I didn’t know the eact route that would be taken for the race. I asked someone and they gave me an idea. More second thoughts started creeping as the number of hills were more than I anticipated. Which again, would be alright if my legs were not jelly from hill sprints...

Stand guard at the door of your mind!(Unknown) What do you let enter your mind? How do you even view your thoughts? Are you even aware of them? I've learnt that my mind, my thoughts is what I have complete control over. At any time that I CHOOSE I can change my mind! It really is that simple, change your mind, change your world. Really! So how do you change the thoughts? First you pay attention, you challenge, you question some of those old beliefs! You don't have to believe everything you have been told, ask some questions! The other thing I suggest is meditation. This is an awesome way to still the mind, to not pay attention to all the noise and thoughts that passes through the mind! A Course in Miracles puts it so nicely "The mind is a tool, given to serve us. It does nothing except what we want it to do. The problem is that we have not been watching what we've asked the mind to do." So what did I learn today?  My mind is my kingdom, and I am king of ...

You cannot hate, argue, reason, fight, complain or yell at a dark room enough to illuminate it - only by shining a Light is darkness overcome. Be that Light."   - Anon My car stalled last night, I was on my way home from a meeting at about 8pm and decided to get a bit to eat, heading home the car just stopped and refused to move! Oh boy! I keep turning the ignition and nothing! I get out and open the bonnet, a couple of men approach and starts speaking in the local language! Of course I couldn’t respond. One of the security men from work came, he couldn’t start it either. The men said to me, you give me 10,000 and I will start the car for you. I just spent my cash on my dinner! I said I only have 5,000 and one US dollar. He laughed and said no, I want 10,000! I told him sorry I don’t have it, he left! Another man came, he told me the same thing, Madam, 10,000 and I start this car! I told him the same thing I have 5,000 and one US dollar! He refused! I said to him, is t...

Today I want to share an article from my girl Chela Davidson (she doesn't know me but I have given her the title of my girl because I love her stuff!), you can vibes Chela on her website http://www.cheladavison.com/ Check it out, hope something resonates! Have a lovely day Peace!! I was looking for a job in the classifieds in the newspaper because that’s what you did back in 1998. Beaner’s Fun Cuts for Kids was looking for hair stylists. I was 17 and had spent my childhood chopping my barbie’s locks and, so far, I was the go-to-girl for hair and makeup with my girlfriends (although I royally screwed Camille’s bob, you have no idea.) I had a flicker of excitement, how cool would that be to go get a job as a hairdresser!? But I had no training or experience. About to pass over the opportunity that I was totally unqualified for, my father spoke up. “You can cut hair can’t you?” “Dad, I have no licence.” “But you can cut hair can’t you? Is there any difference between you an...

"Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go."   - Anon I think I need an African break, and as soon as I started feeling that way I decided to book a ticket to go home! Yup! I have learnt that to honour the feelings and that means acting on it.I ignored it for a bit and I found myself acting out through silly things like screaming at the boda-boda men who are complete dare devils on the road, getting upset on base for such nonsense! Ok, so said let me listen, I booked a ticket to go home via London, I am excited about taking a break and spending some time in both London and at home with my friends and family. What happens when I don’t follow through and honour my feelings and desires? Things around me get affected, many times the signs you get from life are messages, the voice within speaks to us and when you listen and follow through life begins to get simpler and makes so much more sense for me! ...

You cannot hate, argue, reason, fight, complain or yell at a dark room enough to illuminate it - only by shining a Light is darkness overcome. Be that Light."   - Anon You take you with you wherever you go! At times there is the tendency to believe that one can simply move into another environment and that environment itself will provide some brand new insight. However, an environment alone cannot create anything within you. You take wherever you are in consciousness with you into the new environment. If there is a shift, a change, it needs to happen within you. You don’t have to go someplace else to get the shift of awareness nor does going somewhere   else guarantee that the shift will happen. The question is you and your willingness to see anew.   What will it take for you to give yourself permission to see things from another view? Sometimes it is good to move yourself physically in relationship to what is going on, in so far as this physical adjustment lea...

What is the "something else" you are seeking? It might be wealth, or fame. It might be some form of worldly security. It might be romance. It might be hot sex. Or a good time. Or a quiet family life, in the tradition of the American dream. We've called it by many names. We think these things are what we are seeking for. Yet no matter what we may think, these things are not what we truly will for ourselves. They are all forms, forms that we believe will give us something. It isn't the form we are really seeking, it is the content, it is what we believe these things offer to us. And what is that? Inner peace. Satisfaction. A sense of completion and wholeness. A sense of worth. An inner knowing that we are essentially good; lovable and loving. A feeling of belonging, of being valuable. ACIM On Saturday we had our first session of the training called Journey to Self Discovery (JSD). The Course is designed in a way that it challenges you to think about your core b...

Big changes come with small choices. "Little changes [and] little choices add up to be revolutionary changes in your life." Sarah Bran Breathnath, author Whatever you want to do just start it, stop the talking! Just start it, it doesn’t have to be perfect for it to start! Learn as you go, trust yourself! Where ever you want to go, just go! Stop talking, just do it, it really is easier than you think! Whatever your dream is just believe in yourself, if you never dream for yourself then who’s gonna? Wherever you are right now, start right there with what you have! I’m telling you from my experience, massive action and belief brings transformation So what are you talking about and not doing? Get to steppin! Peace!!

Do the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire. This is your moment. Own it. - Oprah Winfrey I am so excited and happy right now! I received a first version of my book “What did I learn today. Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love”! Yayyy!! I looked at it for about a minute and then I screamed with delight and the tears started falling, tears of joy, no doubt!! Truth be told, I never ever thought that I would be writing a book! I give so much thanks for the lessons on the journey and those who encouraged me to share. As Mama Maya Angelo says “when you learn, teach” Yesterday when I was meditating, something stood out in my mind’s eye. Every single thing that brought me to this point I learnt something and I can now give thanks! Back then, I was definitely not thinking like that!! I just wanted it to end and to avoid any unpleasant experienc...

  the rejuvenated woman, She’s modest, but bold to the depths. She knows that enlightenment is waiting for everyone to claim them. Courage is key . Danielle La Porte Transformation is a word I never used much! I talked about wanting a life where I was happy, and living my dreams! I learnt that happiness is a choice and that getting to a place where I can indeed live my dreams involves some sort of transformation! Why? Because simply what  I was doing before wasn't working, something had to change. And what can I change? I can change my thoughts, my mind and my approach, that is all! Being here in Africa on this journey I have made the choice to be willing to change my mind, to transform! What a ride! Are you willing to no longer recognize yourself? You have an idea in your mind of who you think you are – you like certain things, you act this way, you respond this way to and so on and so on. You pride yourself in this. All of this becomes integral parts of your ...

You deserve : eye contact : smiles in the morning : food made with pure intention : clean drinking water, fresh air : Hello, Please, Thank you. : time to think about it : a chance to show them what you’re made of : a second chance : an education : health care, including dental : multiple orgasms : weekends and the summer off : 8 hours of sleep : play before work : to change your mind : to say no : to say yes : to have your deepest needs met : to be seen : to be loved for what is seen. You deserve all this just because you showed up. Yep, you’re that monumental.   Danielle La Porte I was driving through an area yesterday, why were there so many people on the roads (which by the way are not tarmac) just hanging out, talking laughing, children playing, women selling corn being roasted on a charcoal stove and men selling nuts out of woven baskets. As I passed the area I also noticed that people were also walking with water bottles after filling them ...

An emotion swept under the rug is not an emotion that goes away; it’s simply an emotion that is put somewhere other than where it should be put. It becomes inert rather than dynamic energy, stored within you rather than being released. Defending against being overwhelmed by your emotions, you actually create emotions that are overwhelming. You begin by trying to keep your emotions at bay, eat them, go numb instead of feeling them—and in so doing, create a situation that causes you an endless run of painful emotions. By trying to escape your feelings, you create a whole slew of them that will arrive full force once you realize what you’ve done. The only feelings you really need to fear are those you ignore. ( Marianne Williamson, another boss teacher and author!!!) Confession time on the journey, yesterday I was not feeling the Ugandan love! I wanted to be somewhere else! What triggered these feelings? I have learnt that something always triggers these feelings especially when ol...

I am not the person who is singing I am the silent one inside. . . . I am not my house, my car, my songs They are only stops along my way. . . . —Paula Cole, “Me”    They asked me to come and see the dancing and how they pass on to the young ones the traditional Acholi dances and music. I kept postponing it! I finally got there! The whole village was present it would seem! People up on the hills, some seated on the ground, some standing. They gave me a stool to sit on. There were drums, large calabashes, and other musical instruments made from cow horns, string, wood and cow skins. The dancing began! Every dance had a meaning! The waist movement, the songs, the screams! I was Loving it! One of them asked me if I can try one of the waist movements! Yea man ,I from Trinidad allyuh ent know we know how to wine or what? The original throw yuh wais crew! Ha! Well well   needless to say I have not but a clue how they do what they do! Madam, relax, be here, be rig...

Surrender allows us to face the thing we fear before it becomes a reality. The fear of being wrong. The fear of losing control. The fear of being found out. Most of the time, the thing we fear has absolutely no power, yet we brace ourselves for the worst possibility. In that defensive posture we keep our minds fixed on what could or might happen. The fear of facing that imaginary negative outcome is what keeps us paralyzed. Surrender places us in the offensive position . (Iyanla, the boss teacher!) Today I speak at Nob View Hotel in Kampala to corporate leaders and entrepreneurs', this is my first time speaking in front of a room full of African business owners and aspiring owners. Well truth be told, my belly has been flipping all morning! Like making somersaults, the ones you see in the Olympics when they are doing gymnastics! I will go brave, be authentic and surrender all the negatives! Wish me luck!! Peace!!!   

The Six Human Needs 1. Certainty : assurance you can avoid pain and gain pleasure 2. Uncertainty/Variety : the need for the unknown, change, new stimuli 3. Significance : feeling unique, important, special or needed 4. Connection/Love : a strong feeling of closeness or union with someone or something 5. Growth : an expansion of capacity, capability or understanding 6. Contribution : a sense of service and focus on helping, giving to and supporting others (Tony Robbins, motivational speaker and author)   There is so much opportunity to serve, to learn, to grow, to give back, to connect! I am here in Africa and seriously with a change of mindset to one of willingness and open mindedness the opportunities have been coming in! I give thanks for all of them every day! I have no idea what, where, how it will all unfold, my time here is coming to a close but I remain certain that the uncertainty is somehow a blessing in disguise So What did I learn today? ...

8 th August 2013 Throughout life, the two most futile emotions are guilt for what has been done and worry about what might be done (Wayne Dyer) Today is Eid, a public holiday in Uganda. As I was driving to base the streets were filled with women in their hijabs and men in their long robes and hats.   I passed an area and in an open field were women in colorful head pieces sitting on the grass on mats, very organized. I thought about my boxing coach who within the last few weeks he trained as normal while fasting, I asked him about it and he said to me your mind is more powerful than you ever think, this is what I learnt from fasting. One day at a time is all you need to do, take each day as it comes, focus on the day on the now moment. A lot of times we have the tendency to focus on the future and make up scenarios in our head which most times are worst case scenarios. This is different from planning.   I think planning involves a more positive outcome of the di...

Cherish each morning and give thanks for each evening . Sarah Bran Breathnath     Ok, I know, you’ve heard this before, I’m working on letting it go but the electricity situation here is really a test of acceptance and patience for me! I got home last night, there was no power. I got to my lamps and low and behold I forgot to charge them up! Oh boy, so using my phone to look around to see if I have anything else that would provide some light! There was nothing that jumped out at me! Then I said ok let me use my laptop! I got into my room and decided that I would lie down and take a quick nap and by the time I wake up the power would return! Ha!!! Fat chance. I woke up maybe like four times and no power. Fell off to sleep at about 5 forgetting that Opio my boxing coach will be coming to get me for our morning run at 6am! On the dot the phone rings! He was outside! Still no power! Dressed in the dark and went running!   Got back, still no electricity so today I a...

The vast majority of mankind currently lives in a world of unconscious co-creation. Many are running on autopilot and are unaware that their inner world (their thoughts, feelings and imagery) is where their creative power resides ( Iyanla, still the boss!) Yesterday I was reading “Ask and It is Given” by Esther and Jerry Hicks. It is one of the simplest yet most effective pieces that I have read on using your thoughts to manifest the life you desire. I read something totally resonated with me and wanted to share it. Why did it resonate? Well I believe that just “to keep the peace” I give in! Just to avoid what we call in Trinidad “ole talk” I just did what was “normal” but now I know better! The dream inside you is there for a purpose! The light that shines in your soul is a guide not just for yourself but for others and every time you do something contrary to what your soul desires you dim the light! As   Nelson Mandela says, it doesn’t serve the world for you to play s...

There is not a person here on Earth who has not made mistakes in the past. Mistakes are misqualified energy and are opportunities for growth. Sabrina Reber I was asked to ensure that two of our trucks left the compound on Saturday loaded with products for our customers. I must admit I delegated the task to one of the responsible committed ladies. I called later on to enquire about the status of the truck. The truck had an accident and turned over, luckily no one was hurt. This was Saturday evening, the truck is still there! Plans have been made to transfer the products onto another truck and forward to the customer. I asked how did the accident happen, they told me a combination of the truck being overloaded and another truck which bullied them off the road and they lost control I am happy that everyone got out alive, I couldn’t help but think how important order and discipline is! If it’s one lesson that I have learnt being here in Africa is how vitally important order...

Be loving to others see others as spiritual beings, looking beyond personalities accept others despite their differences from us treat others with respect be supportive (Sabrina Ruer)   Why do you fret so about trying to predetermine all of your steps? Just as you cannot eat next week’s bread, so you cannot travel next week’s journey, You can only be where you are. Pay attention to where you are, pay attention to where you are, pay attention to who you are! You are trying to find the people like you. Everybody is like you!!! Everybody is like you and you are like everybody until you can embrace this without moaning and groaning about it you will be in judgement. What about all those bad people and all those bad things that they are doing? Well what about them? Just what about them? You are trying to elevate some and lower others, not simply as, a matter of justice in your mind, but, because it puts you and how good you are able to feel about yourself in comp...

Always Do Your Best : Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret. By  Don Miguel Ruiz  from his best-selling book The Four Agreements. Yesterday I had the pleasure of meeting Andrew Rugasira, I read about him even before coming to Uganda, his vision was to be the first Ugandan to sell coffee to overseas markets. Now that sounds like a pretty easy feat but given the state of infrastructure and development in the country believe me it is not as simple as it sounds! I was sitting listening to a presentation and he was seated just behind me, someone kicked my chair and I turned around and I was like, wait this is the coffee guy! I asked him are you the coffee guy? He laughed. What intrigued me about his story was his philosophy of   trade, not aid, that transformed communities and that ...

The most honorable and loving thing you can do for yourself and those you love is to tell the truth. Telling the truth is a sign that you respect yourself and them, (Iyanla, the boss!) Sharing an article I read this week from my girl Danielle La Porte, the Universe is so awesome I was saying to a friend, we were talking about the sale of my house and I said why doesn't he just change? and sure as night turned to day, this article came into my vision! I wanted to share it! Peace!! "Human beings are capable of incredible transformation. We break through. We break down. We re-invent and we rise from the ashes. Some people even manage to make quantum leaps and extreme emotional makeovers. But for most of us, we are just who we are and that’s that. People don’t change very much. Not really. Your every day “you-ness” has been there since you got here, (just ask your dad, or your kindergarten teacher, or any astrologer.) Extroverted. Jovial. Tender-hearted. Curious. Cautious...