What Is Your Money Story?

Abundance is more of a function of your self-worth than your net-worth - Juliana Park

With "The Rona" having come into our lives in a way that caused so many of us to pause and be still, I could no longer run, hide or busy myself out of many of the issues facing me that had to be faced
Confessions on the Journey, many of the fears that I hold came to the fore. A combination of the uncertainty of the time and exposure to the fact that life in this form is a gift limited by our last breath raised all sorts of questions in my head.
Many of those questions looped back to having enough, being enough and what would happen if....
Many of those questions led back to money and my ability or might I say the lack of ability to earn an income before the pandemic was upon us.
Because then international borders have been closed, many of the opportunities that I would normally have were no longer present, with gatherings and graduations off, this was another source of income which was also gone. 

I convinced myself that I would be okay, that this too shall pass. Things would return to normal and I would resume my living, pre "Rona".
As the time ticked by, and my rainy day funds were being used up, I started panicking, I started becoming frustrated and acting out of fear and frustration.

I decided to sit in the feelings and pay attention to them rather than gloss over it with positive sayings only which in hindsight,a method of denial.

The lessons from sitting in my feelings revealed that I have been replaying my money story.
What is a money story?
A money story is the narrative you have internalised based on how and what you were told and taught about money growing up.

If  you were told repeatedly as a child - there is not enough money- you will more than likely create a story about money never being enough.
If you were told and shown as a child that having money is evil, your money story will revolve around money being evil and  your actions will reflect such.
So, my money story was that money is scarce and we can never have enough. This money story has come up in so many ways in my life:

1. Undervaluing my self - not asking for what I want, taking lower pay due to fear
2. Financial Irresponsibility - spending until the money is done, over spending and waiting for the next set of money to come in
3. Giving away my services for free when it jeopardised my living.
4. The inability to receive - because it signaled that I was irresponsible and not handling myself and my money.
5. Fear of Going Broke.

When I recignised that my money story was playing out, I decided that I must absolutely change this story based on not enoughness and lack.

How can I change the story to reflect that I am enough?
The fundamental shift came when I realised that money is only one form of abundance, that the source of abundance is endless.  Abundance can come in so many different ways.
I recognised that  guilt free receiving is part of change of the story, as wellas, educating myself on abundance and on money. That money is not finite, it reflects a mindset and an energy. Money is form of exchange and if I start from a place of believing that I have nothing much to exchange, this will reflect in my reality.

People pay me for my concept of MY value and worth, for my time, for my training. If I am not comfortable with my own value and worth, it will be very diffiicult for others to value me.
Be prepared to say no, to take risks, to believe because the Universe will take you at your wirth and mirror it back to you.

I am chaning my money story by changing my mindset.

Peace




 

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